I catch my breath(again) and stare in silence. In front of me was THE akatsuki. Not some god forsaken cosplayers sneaking into my house, THE Akatsuki! I stand up gaining my confidence back and glare at them all, challenging them. My fire poker in hand I hold my breath. An orange flash comes flying at me, I thought it was another bomb. I scream and swing the poker and hear a sickening crack. I freeze, the weapon drops from my hands. I look down at Tobi.
"T...Tobi?" I ask uneasily. Blood pours from somewhere on his head. I sit on my knees next to him, "Tobi?" I say in a small voice. I roll him over and see the blood is coming from the top of his head. I look up to the others for help, I get none. I sigh heavily and grab the first aid kit and wrap up Tobi's head(rather badly at that). Then I get the phone and dial the hospital.
"Hello, yes? i was wondering... my "friend" got knocked out by a fire poker and now his head is bleeding, is there something speacial I should do? ...other than call the hospital?"
"Well, yes." The lady answers. "Stop the bleeding, elevate him, he should be somewhat fine when he wakes up... if not, you know what to do."
"OK, thanks I guess..." I hang up the phine and sit Tobi up. "Humph, he'll be fine... hes a god forsaken ninja..." I turn to the remaining Akatsuki members supisiously and confused. "The hell are you guys doing here?"
"We thought the house was empty." Konan answers glancing at Pein.
"That is NOT what I mean."
"Then what the hell do you mean?" Hidan cuts in.
"I MEAN: What the hell are you doing in my world! Aren't you like cartoon characters!"
"...We're far from that, hon." Konan rolls her eyes.
"Well..." I sit there stunned and in awe. "How'd you get here in the first place!"
"Our portal broke down here during our travels. Now we're stuck here until it's fixed."
"Well...where is it?"
"Your garage." Sasori pipes in boredly.
"Well..." I start.
"If you say well one more time!" Hidan cuts me off. I glare at him, "Well, well, well. There, I said it 3 times. Now go burn in hell!"
"Quit fighting. We'll be staying here while our portal is being repaired, got it?" Konan smacks us both upside the head.
"Meh, sure. Why not?" I rub my head with a shrug.
"Your not even gonna put up a fight?"
"Why would I? It's not like I'd win..." I go to the living room to watch TV.
"But still..."
"I'm a lonely person, I'll take any company-even yours... no offence."
"None taken."
By then, Tobi had come to and joined me in the livingroom. Pein, Konan, Deidara, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Sasori came too, Hidan and Kisame went to the kitchen. Then as soon as I'm about to go to sleep on the couch, I'm attacked with questions.
"Where're your parents, un?" Deidara asks.
"Why'd you wanna know?"
"Just curious, un."
"...Like hell if I know where they are, they abandoned me at age 6."
"Did they hate you?" Tobi jumps in.
"I DON'T KNOW!" I suddenly yell. I pause and let the looks I was getting sink in. "Look. I'm not gonna tell you my life story... at least what I remember of it."
It's silent for a few minutes, then Kisame and Hidan walk in.
"Yeesh, you have absolutely NO food!" Hidan complains,
"Well that's cause I just got outta school. I eat enough lunch there to survive the day." I answer.
"What's your name?" Itachi adds.
"Eh?" I pause for a moment. "Well I named myself Uke."
"Uke?" Hidan smirks. "You do know that means-"
"YES! I found that out 2 years ago! ...and you would know Hidan."
"What's that spose to mean?"
I throw a fake apple at him(plastic).
"How old are you, Uke?" Kisame asks now with a smirk.
I roll my eyes, "14... Anymore ANNOYING questions you wish to ask me!"
"Yeah, has anyone ever told you, you look like like a boy, un?"
I glare, "Has anyone ever told you ya look like a horny little girl!"
"That was uncalled for, un..."
"Your uncalled for!"
"That dosen't even make sense!" He stands up.
I stand on teh couch so I wouldn't be shorter than him, "YOUR MOM! ...wait, do you even have a mom?"
There's a quick silence.
"Naaw, I was just poofed into this world, un!" He says sarcastically.
"Well techniqually, you WERE poofed. INto MY world!"
"You know what meant."
"No nee for sarcasism..." I slump back down.
"Uh-huh."
"You DO look like a boy though." Itachi adds.
"..." I sigh tiredly. "Yeah, I get that a lot."
"Oh, so you answer him, but not me, un?"
"Don't start with me Deidara..."
"Anoher Uchiha lover, un!"
"Ok, that's going to far!" i throw a pillow at him. "I may think Itachi is a cute and awesome character-or should I say person- but I absolutely HATE Sasuke"
Deidara giggles softly.
"And why do you hate Sasuk?" Itachi questions.
"Let's see here... he acts all cool and emo, his hair looks like a chicken butt dipped in blue paint, he steals everyones thunder, he's oh so set on killing you like it's all he can do-"
"He only wants to kill me cause I killed our whole clan."
"Except him, I know! But he dosen't know teh whole story, I DO! And Deidara, I am NOT obssesed with Uchiha!"
"But you still admit you like one of the Uchiha's, hmm!"
"Actually, 2..."
"2?" Half the room asks.
"You don't know him, but he's Madara Uchiha! I like his alter ego better though!" I giggle. "And it's hard not to resist Itachi when your friend is shoving every good looking picture of him in your face."
"Meh."
"Uke! Make us some food,NOW!" Hidan yells.
"Sorry. Uke is broke right now and can't afford to buy any food!" I hiss.
"well go find some..."
"Do YOU have any money Hidan! Cause if ya do, YOU go get us some food!"
That shuts him up. I notice Tobi staring at me.
"what're you staring at, Tobi?" I ask. I noice Pein also said it too. Tobi stands behind us and starts stroking my hair.
"Are you and leader-sama related?" He asks.
"No, Tobi." Pein answers rolling his eyes.
"But you both have orange hair!"
"Just ebcause we have the same color hair dosen't mean we're related, there's plenty of people I know with natrually orange hair... Chris, Tami, and Sissy... You and Itachi have the same color hair, but YOUR not related ARE you?" I say the last part as a question because I DO know his true identity. That shuts hm up too, but he continues stroking my hair. I've learned to ignore those thigns.
"1...2, 3...4..."
"Why're you counting?" Kisame asks.
"I'm counting how many more bedrooms there are.."
"For?"
"For you guys to sleep in." I try to be patient.
"Well where's your room?"
"Your sittin' in it."
"Hmm?"
I shake my head and don't answer. Kisame turns to the TV.
"All the rooms are upstairs. One of them fits 3... I don't really care who sleeps with who, just don't wake me up..." I mumble. "You'll regret it if ya dooo..." I fall asleep leaning on Pein.
I wake up in the morning just as the sun was coming up. I mumble some nonsense, then try to go back to sleep. I feel something warm and smooth rubbing against me, so of course I snuggle up against it more. Someone else mumbles some nonsense. My eyes flutter open, but I could barely see anything. I move my arm, then stop when I come across something cool and ahrd. I TURN OVER AND SIT UP.
"mm... Everyone looks so peaceful in there sleep..." I study Pein's face.
"Oh? Your awake?" Konan walks into the room/
"Yeah." I slide off of Pein and onto the other side of the couch near Konan. "Who wants to know?"
"I do." She smirks. "...Huh... Now I get what Tobi was getting at last night..."
"Hmm?" I raise a curious eyebrow.
"If you jus spiked your hair and got some piercings..."
"Oh so know I'm a Pein look-alike?" I joke.
"I never said that." She teases back.
"You were going to."
"Oh so now your a mindreader?"
"...Yes."
"Great, now you even SOUND like Pein!" She laughs.
"hey, I'm not just some look-alike! I'm awesomer and sexier than the original!" I laugh as someone(i Think Pein) leans on my head.
"Like hell you are." Pein cuts in.
"You know I am, right Konan?"
She dosen't answer.
"Whatever floats your boat, Uke." Pein gets off of me.
"meh." I shrug.
"Uke, do me a favor and go wake the others up." She ushers me up the stairs.
"Um, OK?" I shrug and run upstairs to the first room. In the room, Kisame and Itachi share the twin bed. I grab the blowhorn out the drawer and cover my ears. With a press of a button, the 2 jump a foot in the air, Itachi falls out the bed. I giggle, "Konan says get up." I walk out the room the next. It was the larger room. There in the bed laying comfortably was Sasori and Deidara. Tobi was balanced on Deidara's uprised foot.
"Strange... but... ok." I walk over to Deidara and Tobi, and knock Deidara's out the way. Tobi crashes down on Deidara's side.
"Konan says get up." I leave the room snickering. I enter the third room and see no one, an empty room. I shrug and go to the 4th room at the end of the hall and see... nothing. Just an empty, bloodied up room... I walk o the bed and see a severed arm within the bloody mess. I'm stunned for a few seconds, then pick up the arm and leave the room mumbling more tired nonsense.
"20 bucks says this is Hidan's arm..." I huff sliding down the banister. I know I'm right when I see Hidan's severed head on the kitchen table. I toss his arm on the table next to his head, "The hell happened to you?"
"Kakuzu lost his mind and-"
"And I hid his body pieces everywhere after tearing him limb from limb." Kakuzu finishes.
"And Hidan was screaming for half the night, un." Deidara adds.
"Shut it blondey."
"...How did I NOT hear all that?" I ask.
"Konan didn't hear it either." Pein adds.
"...hmmm..." I pick Hidan's head up and get the broom. I hand Hidan's head to Kakuzu. "Toss it to me."
I stand ready at the far end of the room, holding the broom like a baseball bat. Kakuzu catches on and tosses it to me fast. I swing and there's a loud crack.
"Look at you, busting everyone's head open." Itachi facepalms himself.
"I could always bust YOUR head open too!" I drop the now broken broom on the ground and go looking for where Hidan's head was. All I really had to do was follow the path of red. I grab Hidan's head out the fire place and toss him to Kakuzu again. "Who wants the next hit?" I ask innocently. I hear a snap and look up to see Itachi weilding a metal pole, broken off from the cellar door.
"I'm next." He smirks. He stands ready as Kakuzu tosses Hidan's at him nice and fast. With a clang, I see the metal was now bent. Hidan's head went flying, along with him yelling curse words at us. I start laughing as he lands in the chandiler and is now stuck. "Someone get him down, I wanna nother hit!"
I see Tobi suddenly on the ceiling, his feet glowing blue. He gets Hidan's head out and drops it down to me. I catch it then toss it back to Kakuzu. Up next was Kisame, he hits it, and I don't see it, but it goes flying straight at me. It hits me hard in the forehead and I fall back. "Owww..." I lay on the ground and put my hand on my bleeding head as I sit up. Kisame passes the metal beam off to Tobi. When Tobi hits, Hidan's head goes flying into the fire place. When I retrieve the head, I start shaking it up an ddown so the ash would come off some. I hurl his head to Kakuzu again, Deidara up to bat.
"I'm next, un." He stands in the spot I was at. Kakuzu throws this one harder, Deidara swings lightning fast(or at least I think it's lightning fast) and I have to duck down so Hidan's head wouldn't hit me. His head goes crashing through the window. I get up and run out the door, Deidara laughing behind me, along with some others. Hidan's head lands in a rose bush in front of me. I carefully get it out not wanting to get stuck with a thorn.
"Dam you Hidan, you broke my broom..." I complain as I carry him back to the house. I stop and stare at his lower half being dragged off by a wolf. I throw Hidan's head at it full force, then kick it's side. It scuttles of whimpering. I pick Hidan's head up again and grab his lower half and start dragging it to the house. I finally got Hidan to shut up and I saw Deidara putting wood up against the window. I thank him and drop Hidan's head and body by the table. "Hahaha, now THAT was fun!" I drop him on the table. The ones that played agreed.
What will happen next? Where's the rest of Hidan's body? What will we DO for FOOD! Found out all this and more... NEXT TIME!