South Park: The Forbidden Fruit
Prologue
Dear Diary,
Why me? Sometimes I wonder. Of all the people in the world, why him? Why can't it be any other? I've never felt this way about anyone else. I am head over heels, yet it's with the one person that I cannot be with. Life is so unfair.
At first the attraction was innocent. I looked up to him. I never questioned him either. I thought him to be wise and all-knowing. There was nothing he could do wrong. That is why I always turned to him with all my problems. He always knew what to do. Oh, how I longed to be like him. With his thin but strong physique, his raven black hair, and his water-blue eyes that could capture you from the first glance, you couldn't help but love him for that alone.
That is not what I liked about him at first though. It was never about looks before. They didn't matter back then. He was so nice and wonderful to be around. Always has been. No wonder he became the leader of the group. He had the looks and personality. I didn't have either. I got jealous of him sometimes, not that I let him know. Despite everything he had going for him, he had always been the shy and modest type. Still, he takes command when we lose direction. He takes charge when we run out of ideas. I admire him for that. I know I would not have been able to pull through without him.
Yet, at the same time, I am without him and have been the whole time. It's a pain that eats away at my heart and soul 24/7, never letting me have peace. Oh, it wasn't always this way. I didn't even have such feelings for him until we were both twelve. He started to notice girls. I started to notice him. It didn't take long to realize how I really felt. I wanted to be the one who held his heart, the only one. But, alas, I knew it could never be. I kept quiet as I watched him date around until he finally got with the girl that I always figured he'd end up with. Personally though, it makes me sick to think about it.
Years went by….four to be exact. We are now sixteen. During this time, I have tried everything I can think of to distract myself from these feelings. I've dated around as well, but ended up using them and losing them. I just can't get close to anybody else. I don't think I could possibly love anyone like I love Stan. He's always been there for me. We're best beds, amigos 'til the end! Nothing could tear us apart. Yet I am not satisfied with this. I want it to be something more. I want to hold him, kiss him, and love him. I don't want to be with anyone but him. I feel like he's my soul mate, the one person who would be able to understand me and love me for who I am.
But how can this ever be?
-Kyle
Chapter 1
Dear Diary,
Another day has come and gone and still I must suppress my feelings for Stan. I don't know how much longer I can do this, but I do know that it's probably going to tear me apart inside for the rest of my life. In other words, I must learn to live with it. What other choice to I have? If any of this ever gets out…
"Hey, Kyle, whatcha doing? Writing in that girly diary again?" Cartman laughed and snatched the book away from me.
"CARTMAN, GIVE ME THAT!" I screamed and lunged at him. Cartman easily avoided my attack and took off to the other side of the living room. Why I keep inviting him over to my house, I have no clue. He's always been part of the gang for some reason. He's that one friend who insults and annoys you to no end, but sticks around like industrial-strength glue.
Cartman grinned at me and flipped through the book, acting like he was reading it. I knew he wasn't. Never truly did, otherwise he would have went and told everyone at school about what I'd written. Thank goodness Cartman was never one to pay attention to details. "Haha, are you writing about a GIRL? What girl would want a Jew Fag like you?" he cracked.
I blushed hard. "DON'T CALL ME THAT, FAT ASS!"
Stan came walking down the stairs and saw the two of us standing there fighting. He sighed. "You know, I could hear you all the way in the bathroom. Cartman, why do you have to take his diary? It's really immature! Come on, you're almost seventeen! Grow up!" Stan then snatched the diary away from him and handed it back to me.
I smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks, Stan."
"OH, you think I'm so IMMATURE, do you?" Cartman sneered, his face as red as mine had been earlier. "Well, I am MATURE…more mature than the two of you put together! Come on, Kenny! We're leaving!"
Kenny looked up. He had been so quiet all this time that I had almost forgotten he was there. He looked back and forth between the three of us then shrugged and got up to leave with Cartman. Sometimes I think Kenny hangs out with him because he feels sorry for him for some reason. Either way, it was just me and Stan now, which was honestly how I preferred it.
"You'd think he would have grown out of such childish behavior by now," Stan commented, shaking his head. He looked sad and somewhat distracted. The troubled look on his face could not have been more obvious.
"Stan, what's the matter?" I asked.
Stan looked at me, surprised. "Oh, it's nothing that you need to worry about, Kyle. Hey, why don't we play a few rounds of Guitar Hero?"
"Um, sure," I said and he went over to set the video game up. Though he had told me not to worry, I couldn't help but do so. Stan was the most laidback person I knew. If anything was troubling him, it was usually something serious. Now my stomach was upsetting me. I just knew something was terribly wrong. Stan looked behind at me and grinned. I had never seen anything so fake in my life. My head throbbed. The last thing I wanted was for Stan to be depressed. It was bad enough that I had my own depression to live with. He shouldn't have to deal with such a thing as well. It's something I wouldn't even wish on my own worst enemy's dog.
"Stan, are you sure….." I started to say.
"Kyle, I really don't want to talk about it," he replied quickly. I shut up and sat back on the couch, tears stinging my eyes. I wanted to help him with his problems, but there didn't seem to be anything I could do. Why couldn't I make him happy? He had done so much for me. It wasn't fair! All I wanted was for him to be joyous and free from his troubles. If I could, I would have taken all his pain away and added it to mine. I had so much of my own. It wouldn't have made any difference to me.
As we played, I noticed Stan concentrating particularly hard, though not on the game. He fumbled through the songs and was rewarded with way more boos than applause. This was highly unusual because Stan was the Guitar Hero champion of the group. In fact, he was pretty good at beating almost anybody at any game. Finally, he grew frustrated enough to throw down the controller and firmly but politely asked to be excused from playing. I told him yes and watched as he headed out the front door. Dispirited, I shut off the game and returned to the couch, trying to think through the pounding silence. I had to find out what was wrong. I couldn't stand to see Stan like this.
Chapter 2
Dear Diary,
Well, I found out what's going on with Stan. He and his girlfriend, Wendy, are yet again having a fight, not that it's anything unusual. I am surprised it has lasted this long. Even so, this is the biggest fight so far! Everyday I hear him yelling over the phone at her. More than once he has had to excuse himself to his room. The sound of the door slamming still echoes through my mind. One night I stayed over and ended up listening to him crying softly into his pillow as I lay on a cot across the room. It hurts my heart, but I act like I am asleep the whole time. That last thing Stan needs is the knowledge that I hear everything that goes on. Still, what I wouldn't give to be able to comfort him.
"Wendy, I swear nothing is going on!" I heard Stan once again screaming into the phone. I shivered. It was so cold outside, but I also felt cold on the inside. Listening to these fights always made my insides feel like ice, frozen in fear. I was not quite sure why they had this effect, but I did know that a normal relationship shouldn't be like this and I hated Wendy for it. "I really don't know what you are talking about! Listen, I know we spend a lot of time together, but that doesn't mean that there is anything between us. You're the only one I'm with, Wendy! Why can't you believe me? I've been telling you this for years!"
Wendy thinks that Stan is seeing someone else? I stood there in disbelief. Stan had to be the most faithful person I know. He always turned down girls' advances. I would be the one to worry about, but I just couldn't commit because of my feelings for Stan. I don't think he likes being alone though. The one time Wendy and Stan did take a break from each other, he spent the whole time being miserable. Wendy, however, got around quite a bit. Imagine my surprise when he took her back anyway. I was pissed, but I couldn't do anything about it. Now they were arguing about Stan possibly cheating? Yeah, like Wendy had room to talk. Stupid slut...
"Hey, hold on a minute," I heard Stan say. He walked a distance away from me, to the point I could barely hear the conversation anymore. "Yeah….maybe we ought to…..for the best…glad we agree….okay…bye." He clicked off the phone and turned around, staring at me as if seeing me for the first time. I noticed that Stan's face was flushed and it almost looked like he was trying to hold back tears. After a few moments of silence, he spoke. "I am sorry you have had to listen to those phone conversations, Kyle. That was wrong of me. It's going to be fine now." He smiled and walked over, placing his arm around my shoulder. "Thanks for putting up with me these last couple of weeks."
"No problem," I could feel myself blushing. I hated how easily I did that.
"Hey, why don't we go for a walk? It's a beautiful day in our snowy little paradise," Stan suggest, still smiling. I hadn't seen him this cheerful in quite a while.
"Okay," I nodded while trying to hide my increasingly red cheeks.
"Well, come on then!" he exclaimed happily, "Time's a wasting!"
Chapter 3
The sun shone bright as we walked down a dirt path through the woods like we used to back when we were kids. It also brought back memories of snowball fights, creating forts, climbing trees, and just running around like the crazy young boys we were. I missed those days.
Stan walked by my side, though I had to do a slight run to keep up. He seemed to be in another world and wasn't paying any attention to where he was going. Twice, he smacked his face into low-hanging branches. I laughed. He just chuckled and kept going, almost like he was trying to get somewhere. Where would we be going though? There was no point of particular interest on the path. I was rather curious, but just kept following Stan to wherever he was taking us.
Suddenly, he stopped. "Kyle, do you remember back when we had that secret club?"
It all came rushing back to me. "Yes, I do," I said, "It was a club we created when we were eleven. We were the only members. We didn't even invite Kenny and we especially didn't invite Cartman."
"That's correct," Stan replied, "And do you remember where we held the meetings?"
"Yes…." I answered and strolled over to the huge tree that grew about ten feet away from the path. It was the tallest one in the area. Stan and I used to climb up it all the time. I went around it and found the small wooden steps that we had nailed onto the outside that led to the largest branch of this spectacular tree.
"Cartman ended up hating this tree since he fell off it while trying to get up. Do you remember? He ended up breaking his leg. It served him right!" Stan grinned. I laughed, remembering how much of a klutz that fat ass Cartman had been. Stan then went on, "Why don't you climb up? I'll follow you. It'll be just like old times!"
"Just like old times…" I said softly. I wasn't sure whether the steps could now take the weight of two older teenage boys. They looked a little rotted. Should we really risk it….and why did I have to go first? I stared up at the branch we used to sit on. It was a good fifteen feet off the ground. I gulped and grabbed onto one of the steps while putting my feet on another. Surprisingly, the steps felt sturdy. I quickly climbed up to the branch and yelled down to Stan, "Come on up! The view's great!" Stan took a hold of the steps and started making his way up. He was almost there when I suddenly heard a crack. He yelped as the step gave way under his feet.
"STAN!" I screamed. He had managed to get a hold of the branch, but not a very good one since his hands seemed to be slipping off. "Stan, hold on!" I called as I crawled over to him. He was dangling, trying desperately to get a foot on one of the unbroken steps. "You're not going to make it, Stan! Grab my hand!"
"No, I can do this!" he yelled at me, "No use pulling you down!" He swung and his foot finally reached the wooden step. "See, no problem…..AUGH!" He cried out as that step also gave way. His arms flailed in the air. I grabbed one of them before he could fall to the ground.
"What did I tell you?" I grunted as I struggled to lift him up. Soon we were both sitting on the branch, gasping and panting. Sweat trickled down my face and my heart was pounding. "You could have gotten hurt, Stan!"
"You could have too, Kyle," Stan commented, pushing some damp locks away from his eyes. He was so beautiful and the look on his face made him appear so fragile. "I shouldn't have suggested climbing this tree. What was I thinking?"
"Perhaps about all the good times we've had here. Maybe you just wanted to remember them. I know I do," I told him, "I mean, how many hours do you think we spent up here back in the day?"
"Loads," Stan replied, "Many a practical joke was planned here, mostly on Cartman."
"How could they not be?" I giggled, "He was so gullible."
"True," Stan grinned, "Still, that wasn't the only thing we did. We talked about our dreams…."
I nodded, "Yes, our dreams. Do you think we'll ever actually become space cowboys exploring the universe on our space buggy, fighting off killer aliens?" I snickered at the memory.
"Heh, actually that is what I was thinking at the time," Stan chuckled, "Well, that probably won't happen, but we've had good times….." He paused for a moment, deep in thought. "You know, Kyle. That wasn't my only dream though. There are a lot of things I never told you about, mostly because I didn't think you would understand. In fact, I don't think anyone would be able to understand what I am about to tell you now, but I think it's time I let you know how I feel. Actually, it might be better if I just showed you…." He brought both of his hands up and placed one on each of my cheeks. He lifted my face towards his and gently pressed his lips onto mine. When he let go, I sat there dazed. My heart was racing now and I was shaking a bit.
"Kyle, I love you. I always have," he went on to say, "I just didn't know how to tell you. Anyway, that was what Wendy and I were fighting about. She has suspected these feelings for a while. I talked about you all the time. Hardly one conversation went by without you being mentioned. She claimed that I love you more than I love her. To tell you the truth, I never loved Wendy. She's a real bitch when it comes down to it. I was just with her so I wouldn't have to think about you, but I guess it didn't work. Man, I am so embarrassed. What you must think of me…."
"No, Stan, wait," I interrupted him, "There is something you need to know about me too." He stared up at me, tears streaming down his red face. "I have the same feelings for you! I just didn't know how to tell YOU about them."
"You really mean that?" he asked me, wiping the tears away. I nodded. Stan smiled and hugged me, kissing me on the cheek. "I…I don't believe this! I've wanted to tell you for so long!" He held me tighter. Though I was having trouble breathing, I didn't say a word. This was what I had wanted since I was twelve and now it was happening. He felt the same way I did. I was having trouble believing it all. I grew dizzy and fell limp in his arms, overcome with relief. I didn't have to hide anymore. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.
Chapter 4
Dear Diary,
After we got down from the tree, we walked back out of the woods, hand in hand. However, once we were out, both Stan and I were quick to let our hands drop to our sides. Though we no longer have to keep our feelings a secret from each other, we do have to be careful not to let anybody else know what is going on. This is not a problem, really. Stan and I have enough sense to keep our mouths shut.
Wendy came by to pick up her stuff the next day. Though she seemed agreeable about the breakup over the phone, you would never have been able to tell as the sounds of screeching tires, slamming car doors, and shrilly voices (mostly Wendy's) could be heard throughout the entire house. Yes, I was visiting Stan again. We spend even more time together than usual now that we are in a relationship. Most of the time, things are quite peaceful. Still, the unexpected friend or two will stop by...
"Stan, pass the popcorn already! You don't have to hog it all!" Cartman exclaimed. Stan continued to ignore him and finally Cartman just snatched the bowl away. Stan gave him an annoyed look, but said nothing. I just sighed. What we had been hoping would be an evening to ourselves at my house had ended with the appearance of Cartman and Kenny at the doorstep. Being the polite idiot I usually am, I invited them in to join us in watching Romeo and Juliet. Oh, how I regretted that decision afterwards.
"Why did you guys pick THIS movie?" Cartman scoffed, "This is sooo boring…and you can't understand a word they're saying! Come on! It's set in modern times! Why do they have to speak in prehistoric terms?"
It's not prehistoric, Cartman!" I screamed angrily at him, "Besides, it's a classic! It's better that they kept the original dialogue!" That and Leonardo Dicaprio looks so dreamy reciting Shakespeare. That thought I kept to myself though. Soon, I was picturing Stan as Romeo, but found it hard to picture myself as Juliet. I wouldn't be able to pull a dress off as well as Claire Danes. Maybe Stan could wear the dress instead….
"Still, this movie blows!" Cartman groaned, bringing me out of my daydream. Kenny nodded in agreement. "Seriously, of all the movies in the world, you had to pick a CHICK FLICK! Sometimes I wonder about you, Kyle."
I could feel myself blushing. I looked over at Stan, who was growing red in the face as well, but more from anger than anything. "You know, Cartman, you can be such an asshole! I like this movie too, so lay off! Now, if all you are going to do is complain, you always have the option of leaving! That goes for you too, Kenny!"
Kenny started to speak up when suddenly Cartman huffed, "Fine! We don't want to watch this dumb movie anyway! Come on, Kenny!" He grabbed Kenny's arm and started towards the door, then turned around and glared at us evilly. "We'll just leave you two alone to your DATE!" The door slammed and they were gone. My heart was pounding. Had he said what I thought he had said? I stared at Stan nervously. He just smiled and shook his head, still watching the TV screen. I followed suit, but was left wondering which was the worst guest, Cartman or the uneasiness that had settled in my stomach.
By the time the credits began to roll, I looked at him. "Sorry, I guess things didn't go quite as planned."
"Well, we are alone now," Stan said with a lilting purr. I hesitated a bit and shifted in my seat. His eyes grew with concern. "Kyle, is something wrong?"
"Stan, do you think Cartman suspects anything?" I blurted out.
Stan just wrinkled his nose in disgust, causing me to laugh. He always did look silly when he did that. "Nah, dude," he answered, "Cartman is too thick to ever notice anything going on! Why are you worrying about him?"
"Maybe he's not as dumb as we think!" My voice had taken on a more serious tone than I had intended, but I couldn't help it. "What if he runs his mouth off? What if he tells our parents? What if….what if…." I was stammering in my panic. Stan put a finger up to my lips, silencing me.
"Cartman was just angry. He doesn't know any more than anyone else," he assured me. My nerves eased up a bit. Stan had that effect on me. Any worries and fears I was feeling soon melted away. "Now do you feel better?" I nodded. "Good," he purred once more, "Now that we are alone, maybe we can finally start this date." He kissed me passionately. Soon we were snuggling on the couch, watching West Side Story. Yeah, another chick flick. I guess we were in a romantic mood that night.
Chapter 5
Dear Diary,
Several months have come and gone since Stan and I have struck up this special relationship of ours. It's strange what you find out about someone when you are going steady with them. Even though he's been my best friend for many years, I have learned more aspects of Stan's personality than I ever imagined were there.
"Kyle, what are you wearing?" Stan chuckled. I stared over at him, confused. I had decided to wear a pair of brown leather pants and a tight white wife beater shirt. It wasn't anything much different from what I had seen Stan wear.
"What's wrong with what I am wearing?" I asked him.
"Well, we are going to the mall and…well…damn it, Kyle! Wear something like that and we'll get noticed!" Stan said, his voice taking on a panicky tone. "Besides, you'll catch your death of cold! At least throw a jacket over it!"
Giving him a strange look, I obliged by throwing on my midnight blue blouse, leaving several buttons undone so my white shirt would still show. Since when did he care what I wore? What did it matter?
Stan looked in the mirror and ran his fingers through his hair. He was wearing leather pants as well, but they were black instead of brown. He was also sporting his bright yellow Ramones t-shirt under a matching black leather jacket. He would be more detectable than me in a crowd. So why did he care so much about what I was wearing?
He turned to look at me. He looked so beautiful that I soon forgot why I was upset with him. I went over to him, smiling sheepishly. He lifted my head towards his and kissed me ever so gently. "You do look good tonight."
I could have melted right there on the spot. "Thanks…so do you."
"Well, shall we be going?" Stan asked, his eyes showing nothing more than the love we shared. I nodded and followed him downstairs. Shouting out to mom where we were going, we left and got into his car. "Here," Stan grinned, "Let me help you with that darn seatbelt. It's always getting stuck…." I held my breath as he reached over me and yanked it a few times before it finally came down. His fingers ran dangerously close to certain areas as he put the seatbelt over me and clicked it into place. "Hmmm, didn't stick too much that time." He winked at me as he slid back into the driver's seat and fastened his own seatbelt. "Ready?"
Finally letting my breath out, I looked over at him and nodded. Man, that boy knows how to excite someone! We back out of the driveway and headed towards the mall. As he went to shift gears, I let out a gasp and a soft moan. "Oooh…"
Stan, smiling wickedly, took his hand away. 'Oops, wrong stick. Sorry about that, Kyle." I just gulped and turned red. I prayed for the traffic god to have mercy and spare enough time for me to calm down before we arrived. Luckily, I had gathered myself by the time we reached the mall. Stan hopped out of the car and ran over to the passenger's side to hold the door open for me. I looked around to make sure no one had noticed.
"Stan," I hissed, "You know, most guys don't open doors for each other!"
"Fine, I won't be polite anymore if that's what will make you happy," he laughed and slammed the car door in my face. Then he quickly ran ahead to the entrance. As I climbed out of the car, he yelled over, "KYLE, YOU SLOW POKE! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE ALREADY!" I fumed. And he was worried about us standing out in the crowd? Please!
I followed him into the building. After searching through racks and racks of designer clothes (one of Stan's favorite pastimes), he looked at his watch. "Man, we better get to the movie theater if we're going to be there before the flick starts! Come on!" He grabbed my hand and pulled me through the store. I couldn't help but notice the stares as we rushed by. How odd we must have looked, two guys hand in hand running like this! I dug the heels of my shoes into the floor in an effort to stop him. Instead, I ended up tripping and losing my footing. Stan dragged me another ten feet before realizing what happened. "Kyle, are you okay?"
"Stan, have you gone mad?" I hissed once more as he helped me up. "We can't act like this here! Not in public! Now, let me go!"
Stan dropped my hand, ashamed. He pouted the rest of the way to the theater. I couldn't help but feel a little bad about yelling at him. Still, damn it, he had to learn that kind of behavior was not acceptable…not to mention it would get us caught! As I paid for our tickets, he ran ahead and looked over the candy at the concession stand. "Oooo, sour Skittles! Hey, Kyle, loan me a few bucks!"
"But I already paid for the tickets," I told him, "Where's all your money?"
"I left my wallet at home! Come on, Kyle! The movie's about to start!" he held out his hand. I sighed and handed him the money. "Thanks, I owe ya one!" One, I thought bitterly. How about thirty-five…or have you forgotten about that already?
We found our seats just as the lights darkened. We tried to find a spot in the back so we could have some privacy, but they were all taken. The only ones left were close to the screen. Stan took one seat. I sat a couple away from him. Too many people could see us, so we couldn't sit close together without raising suspicion. Plus, I knew if we were in close contact there was no way Stan would keep his hands off of me. It was a shame really. I had been looking forward to sitting next to him…my head on his shoulder…his arm around me. Now, because Stan HAD to look at all those clothes, we were unable to get the seats we needed to do that. My eyes filled with tears. I was so upset that, even as the ending credits rolled by, I could not remember one thing that had happened in the movie. I got up and walked ahead, not wanting to see Stan…not wanting to show him my pain.
"Hey, Kyle, wait up!" Stan called as he ran up to me several minutes later. I quickly wiped the tears away, hoping he wouldn't notice. "Kyle, why did you leave like that?"
"Um, I had to use the restroom." I lied. Stan couldn't have been stupid enough to fall for that, but strangely enough he seemed to find my answer acceptable as he said nothing more as we walked back through the mall.
Stretching, Stan yawned and said, "Man, who would have thought watching a movie could wear someone out like this? It was rather boring. Remind me to stay away from political dramas from now on! Why don't we go ahead and head for home?"
I stared at him. "But, Stan, I really wanted to check out the record store…plus I need a new pair of shoes…and I also wanted to…"
"Kyle!" Stan cut in, "You can do that any time! I am really tired! Can't we just go home?"
Fighting back harder than ever to keep from bursting into tears right then and there, I nodded and followed him out of the building, into the parking lot, and back into the car. This time he did not help me with my seatbelt. This time he did not ask whether I was ready to go. He just got in, buckled up, and had the car started and rolling out before I even had the chance to get my door shut. He yawned again. He showed no signs of affection or even caring how I felt. All he wanted to do was get home and go to bed. I sighed. I thought back to when he would hold me in his arms on the couch as I fell asleep. Now I usually wind up sitting there watching TV as Stan lies next to me snoring and drooling. Not very romantic at all.
Chapter 6
Dear Diary,
What happened to the Stan I used to know? The one who would do anything to be with me? I think he's starting to take me for granted and I don't like it at all.
"If you don't like it, then don't be with him, Kyle" a voice spoke up from behind. I ended up jumping out of my chair and turning around. There stood Kenny. He was still wearing his orange winter coat, but his hood was down and his hair was disheveled.
"Kenny, you scared the crap out of me!" I cried. My heart was pounding like it'd come out of my chest. "What are you doing here?"
"Hmph, figures," Kenny sighed, "You guys never do pay me much attention. It's like I'd have to be dying to get noticed. It doesn't matter though. What does matter is that I've been watching you and Stan. I know exactly what's going on. You'd have to be blind or Cartman not to see."
I blushed. "Well, it's really…uh…well, it's…."
"It's what I want," Kenny looked me straight in the eye. He then took his hand and ran it through my hair, pulling my face closer. "I can be a much better lover than Stan." Suddenly, his lips were on mine. I quickly pulled away.
"Kenny, I…I can't," I gasped, reaching for breath. "Stan is my boyfriend. Even if he isn't being the greatest right now, he still means the world to me?" I realized the last part had slipped out as more of a question.
"Sure about that?" Kenny grinned. He took both of his hands and cupped them upon my cheeks. We kissed again, each one becoming more and more passionate. I tried to fight at first, but found I couldn't help myself. I gave in. It felt too good. Clothes started coming off. Flesh started to mingle. Before I knew it, I was falling down onto the bed, Kenny following suit.
After it was all through, I looked over at my new lover. He looked back over and smiled. "That was nice," he purred softly into my ear. "How about we go for round two?"
I smiled back and nodded. The damage was already done. I might as well enjoy it.
Chapter 7
I continued to see Stan. However, I couldn't stay away from Kenny. He offered everything that was lacking from being with Stan. With Kenny, there was more passion. It was just more exciting with him. Still, I had feelings for Stan. I didn't have the guts to end either relationship. I guess that made me a total chicken shit, not to mention a cheater. So why didn't I regret it more than I did?
"You think I don't know what's going on?" Stan chuckled, his hand squeezing mine rather tighter than usual.
I looked over at him, wide-eyed. "What do you mean?"
"Well, you obviously are seeing another guy," Stan continued to chuckle a bit more than what seemed natural. "Hell, I can smell him on you."
Damn Kenny and his cologne, I thought bitterly. I sighed. "Yeah, it's true. I couldn't help myself. I'm sorry, Stan."
"Sorry? What is there to be sorry about?" Stan stopped chuckling and stared at me intensely. "It's only natural to be curious."
I couldn't believe my ears. Was Stan actually accepting of this? No, something was wrong. I was soon to find out how very right I was.
"Oh, hell, who am I kidding?" Stan sighed and looked down, the tears starting to fall. "I try to accept it but I can't. I've known for a while. I kept waiting for you to confess but it never happened. I keep trying to think of a reason for why you would do this but I can only come to the conclusion that there must be something wrong with me. I suppose I haven't been the best boyfriend and I am sorry for that. Maybe it's time we take a break from each other."
"WHAT?" I exclaimed, "Stan, I still love you! I am the one who should be sorry. I'm the one who cheated! You did nothing wrong!"
"I must have for you to run into the arms of another," Stan let go of my hand. "I am willing to admit I have faults. Now it's your turn. Take some time and decide what you want. I can't promise I'll wait for you, but this is for the best."
With that, I watched Stan walked away. I then fell to my knees and cried.
Chapter 8
Dear Diary,
I am so mixed up right now. I've lost Stan. After all those years of pining for him, I had to go and ruin it. The ironic thing is that to numb this pain, I keep running back to the one person with whom I destroyed my dreams. It doesn't help though that he's great in the sack.
"What are you writing now?" Kenny asked. He was wearing nothing more than a pair of thin boxers. "Nothing bad, I hope."
"Not really," I sighed and closed my diary.
"Come get into bed with me," Kenny begged, "I can take your mind off of things." I lied down next to him and he started to caress my hair. I myself was wearing a t-shirt and briefs. We didn't wear much clothing when we were around each other. Before long his hand moved from my hair to my neck, then slowly down my chest and then further still.
I began to moan at his touch. "Oh, Stan…."
"Damn, I knew it!" Kenny yelled and took his hand away from me, "You were writing about him again, weren't you?"
"Look, I'm sorry, Kenny!" I snapped, "He's only the guy I was in love with for many years!"
Kenny grabbed me by the shirt collar and lifted me up. "This needs to stop now, do you understand? Stan broke up with you! I am your boyfriend now!"
"Kenny, please let me go!" I gasped, "It won't happen again, I swear!"
"It better not," he growled and let go. I landed back on the bed…hard. What had just happened here? I was confused. Kenny had never had an outburst like that before. I watched him as he put his clothes back on and walked to the door. After it slammed behind him, I found myself staring at the door for longer than usual. Maybe he's just having a bad day, I thought. Yeah, that must be it.
The next day, I was walking in the woods again. It helped me think, but it also clouded my mind with memories of me and Stan. I knew I needed to get over it. I had done Stan wrong and I had to pay the consequences. Still, he hadn't said that he was giving up on me for good. Yes, I still had a chance, but what would I do about Kenny? He would be furious with me. He thought he was my boyfriend now. Even after all we had done, the label just didn't seem to fit.
I knew the only thing I could do was end it with Kenny. Hopefully he wouldn't take it the wrong way.
Chapter 9
Dear Diary,
I text Kenny to come over. I told him we needed to talk. Even if Stan doesn't take me back, it isn't right that I am letting Kenny think it's more than it is between us. It's more than a fling, but it's still not enough. My heart belongs to someone else...
"Oh, does it really?" I cringed. Why did Kenny always have to sneak up like that?
"Guess you got my message," I said.
"Yes…yes, I did," Kenny snarled, "Guess there's not much to talk about now. Your diary seems to do enough of the talking for you. Why do you even keep that girly thing around?"
I glared at him. "It's not the only thing I wonder why I keep around."
Kenny's eyebrow rose up. "Well, is that so? Heh, you didn't seem to have any complaints when we were in bed together. I guess that's all I am to you though, just something to have fun with when things aren't going right."
"It wasn't like that….not at first," I tried to explain. "I shouldn't have led you on like that. I really am sorry."
"No, Kyle, I'm the one who's sorry," Kenny's eyes sparked with anger, "Sorry for what I have to do to you." He grabbed my arm. I struggled to get out of his grip, but he was far too strong for me. He spun me around and held my arm behind my back. Grabbing my hair with his free hand, he brought my head up and whispered in my ear, "Since you enjoyed me being your sex toy all this time, I think it's my turn now…don't you?"
One thing I learned from that experience: Kenny did not treat his toys well at all.
Chapter 10
The next day at school, I made it a point not to make eye contact with anyone. I was still too shaken up by what had happened. After it was all done, Kenny apologized and said it would never happen again. He said he was just so scared of losing me and that he had simply acted out of anger. Part of me wanted to believe him. The other part of me was hurting too bad from it all, emotionally and physically.
"Hey, Jew," Cartman gave me his usual greeting as he approached my locker, "What goes on?"
"Nothing," I closed the locker and headed over to class.
"Oh, I see how it is!" Cartman huffed, "Fine, I didn't want to talk to your stupid Jew ass anyway!" He went off to his own class. I didn't care. He was the last person I would ever want to talk to anyway, especially now.
That's when I got the surprise of my life. Stan was coming up to me. We hadn't spoken since he'd broken things up between us. "Hi, Kyle," Stan smiled.
"Hi," I replied. I could feel my cheeks starting to burn. "How have you been?"
"Good," Stan said, "Just school, home, back to school….the usual."
"Pretty boring, huh?" I tried to chuckled, but it came out more like a stammered cough.
"You okay there?" Stan asked. "You don't sound well."
"Just coming down with something, I'm sure," I lied.
"Well, I hope you get to feeling better," Stan gave me a pat on the shoulder, "See you around, buddy."
I watched as he ran off to class. "Yeah…see you around, pal."
Chapter 11
After school, I was walking home. I suddenly noticed petals littering the ground. They were pink, silky petals that seemed to make a path. I followed the path, which led into the woods. Ah, the ever present woods. How much time had I ended up spending there? I then realized the trail of petals had ended. I looked up to see Kenny holding an arrangement of flowers. "For you, my love," he handed them to me.
"Kenny, what is this about?" I asked him.
"I still love you, Kyle!" Kenny had tears streaming down his face. "I am sick with regret for what I did. No one deserves that."
"Yeah, no kidding, Kenny!" I threw the flowers down, "You raped me, for crying out loud! You're lucky I don't call the police on you!"
"Look, I said I am sorry," Kyle stammered, "It won't happen again. Just please come back to me. I need you!"
"But he doesn't need you," a voice said. I turned to see that it was Stan. "I heard everything. Kenny, you're sick!"
"I know I am," Kenny cried, "I didn't mean to do what I did. Please, Kyle, give me another chance!"
"Kenny….I can't…not after what you did. Sorry." I then noticed Stan's arm was around me. Kenny stared at us with rage in his eyes.
"Fine, take the cheater back," he growled at Stan, "but it'll have to be over my dead body!" With that, he jumped Stan. I gasped as I watched Kenny punch Stan over and over, blood coming from his head and mouth. Then Stan managed to get the upper hand, landing a few blows before Kenny got him in a headlock.
"No, Stan!" I ran to help him, but Kenny pushed me back hard. I hit my head on a tree. The world became a blur. I struggled to regain focus. What I hadn't realized was that I had hit the tree that Stan and I used to have our club at and where he had confessed his love. I heard a cracking noise. I looked up and saw the big branch we used to sit on start to give way. It was hanging right over Stan and Kenny.
"Guys, look out!" I cried, but they were too busy fighting to hear. I got up, ran over to them, and pushed them both out of the way.
"What the hell are you doing, Kyle?" Stan exclaimed, "I almost had him!"
"Yeah, right, loser!" Kenny laughed and got up, "As if a runt like you could beat me! Come on! Are you ready for more?" He moved back to their original fighting position. "Well, what are you waiting for?"
"Kenny, I wouldn't do that if I were you," I told him.
"Why, are you both going to take me on?" Kenny laughed even harder, "Now that I'd like to see."
"That's not what I meant," I pointed up. Kenny looked up in horror to see the huge branch give one final, agonizing crack before snapping away from the tree and falling. I saw Kenny running for his life, but the branch was simply falling too fast. I looked away as I heard it hit, knowing my former friend was no more.
"Oh my god, it killed Kenny!" Stan cried.
"Damn bastard!" I felt the tears running down, "I tried to warn him."
"Come on, Kyle," Stan put his arm around me once more and led me away from the scene. "There's nothing more we can do. Let's go to my house, make some hot cocoa, and talk things out, okay?"
"Yeah, that sounds good, Stan," I smiled at him, "That sounds good."