The following chapters will be split into 3 parts cause they're so damn long... I'm gonna teach the akatsuki a thing or two about the real world!
I wake up groggy and planning the day ahead in my mind, also I couldn't move. Deidara was on my legs, Sasori on my waist, I couldn't move... I move and try to wiggle free, only managing to wake up Sasori. He looks at me with glassy eyes, then rolls off of me ontot the ground. into a groggy sleep. I free my legs from Deidara and stumble arund the room. I head upstairs, but trip on Itachi's body on my way up.
"Guess I'm not the only one who got shot with a tranq..." I get up wobbily and get in the shower. Somewhere in that shower, I forgot I wasn't the only one in the house and spent like in hour in there, when I stepped out, I wrapped a big fluffy towel around my self and put my hair into a sloppy ponytail. I go downstairs and the only people up were Sasori, Deidara, Pein, and Konan, and they were talking to each other in mumbles I couldn't quite hear.
"Good morning... or afternoon, or whatever time of day it is." I call out to get there attention. They don't even look up. I come closer to try and hear what they're saying, but Sasori shoves. me, more hard than he intended to. I flipped over the couch.
"Sorry." He glances at me.
"Meh.." I sit on the couch and get out my journal and start mumbling my plans for the day to myself. "Ok, let's see here... I'll be teaching the Akatsuki a thing or two about the real world, some basic laws they need to follow for there time here, and some rules of my own... I feel like a parent..." I write my list of things to do down and see Itachi finally waking up afetr Tobi tripped on him. "Your finally awake? Think you can go get the others cause you guys have a few things to learn."
It takes an hour to get everyone downstairs, awake, fed, and sat down in the livingroom before I can start.
"Ok, you guys have no clue about the rules of this world and how to survive so, I'm gonna explain some to you... starting with some basic rules of mine."
"What makes you think we'll even follow these rules?" Hidan shoots back.
I glare, "Cause if you break these 3 rules, I'm not gonna help you with it."
"Oh yes you will, your just like that."
I roll my eyes and ignore him, "First rule: I don't do babies. Bring a baby home or some pregnant girl, your on your own... Hidan..."
"What?" He looks up. "Why'd you say me?"
"Knowing you, you'd probaly break the rule on purpose, second rule: Don't get arrested by the police."
"What are police?" Tobi asks.
"The goody two shoes that wanna stop you from doing bad things. I don't have the money to bail you out, and definantly don't have the energy to come up with a plan to bust you outta jail." I sigh. "The final rule is: Don't lead ANUTHING into my house I don't want. Disease, police, wild animals, hobo's, prostitutes, rapists, molesters, and fangirls. Definantly NO FANGIRLS. And fangirls are pretty much girls that love you guys a lot and will do anything to be with you, which from being with you guys, will NOT happen." I look around. "So those are MY rules. The world wide rules are simple: Don't murder... at least not in public, no stealing we've got money, no kidnapping, speeding, fighting with police, causing riots, and you can't carry all your weapons around... those are the ones I remeber..."
"That's a lot of rules, un..."
"Your telling me, it's a wonder we survive..." I shrug."What we did las night was against the law, which was why I said be QUIET... so the police wouldn't come."
"Uh-huh, is that all?" Itachi asks.
"What's this here about teaching us to do normal person things?" Kisame jumps in.
"Uhhhh, like driving, shopping, not geting banned from stores, the basics..." I snatch my notebook from him. "Who wants to learn how to drive first?"
There's an awkward silence, then like 3 of them poof out: Pein, Konan, and Zetsu.
I guess I looked shocked cause Kisame and Itachi disappeared too.
"You GUYS!" I grab Deidara and start tugging him to the car(seems someone got a new one). It was a red convertible. I usher him into the drivers seat and get in the passenger seat before I changed my mind.
"Why do I have to drive first, un?"
"Cause you were the closest that didn't poof out." I shrug and start the car. "Now drive, let's go to McDonalds."
"Where?"
"McDonalds, the building with the yellow arches."
He looks at me confused as ever then starts driving off. He runs something over. He dosen't look at me until we get out the woods, "Which way Miss instructer, un." He teases.
"I think it's that way." I point to the left.
He slams on the gas and zooms down the street. I was focused on which way to turn. "Left again and slow down!"
"Meh," He turns into the McDonalds drive-thru and slams on the brake. "How was that, un?"
"...Scary..." I sink down into the seat.
"So why don't YOU drive?"
"Cause I'm only 14. It's a law that I can't drive. It's a law you guys can't draw eiteh cause you don't have a lisence... thank god." I crawl over his lap to get near the window.
"Are you ready to order?"
"Yeah, uh. Can I get... how many are there of us... 6 Angus Bacon burgers, 6 large fries, uhhh... 7 normal Angus burgers, and 7 medium fries, 10 barbeque sauces, Deidara, what do you want?"
"Angus Bacon burger, Large Fries, and a ten piece chicken nugget, un."
"Also can I get 20 piece chicken McNugget, 15 Pepsi's, 4 Apple Dippers, and a cheeses burger happy meal with a boy toy." I add.
"Ok..." The person types in all our orders on the screen. "That'll be... $35.50."
"Damn, really? Ok." I jump down to the glove compartment to get a $50. "You guys take 50's?" I yell.
"Yes, ye we do."
"Drive forward, Deidara." I say getting the money out. He stops by the first window. The lady was a bit surprised to see only two of us.
"Here's the money." I hand her a fifty.
"Are you guys having a party or something?" She asks getting our change.
"No, there's only 9 other people back at the house, un."
"Yeah, you guys'll eat me outta house and home if I don' get enough."
"Aren't house and home the same thing, un?"
"...Shut up." I get out change and sit back down in my seat. "Drive to the second window and we can go."
He does so and starts claiming the truckload of food and drinks we(or i) ordered. We shove it all in the back seat.
"We really don't eat that much, un..."
"Oh yes you do." I catch the barbeque sauce as i comes flying through the window and we drive off again. We end up crashing through the park, making a wrong turn, and almost hitting a little kid before i take over the wheel. I drive us home semi-safe and pull into the forest.
"Deidara..."
"Yeah?"
"You aren't gonna drive unless we're causing destruction..." I mumble, stepping out the car to get some of the McDonalds. Deidara tries tp walk off,
"Get your ass over here and HELP me!" I yell grabbing half the bags, "Now."
He rolls his eyes and gets the rest of the food and carries it with me to the house. When we enter, no one is to be seen. I drop the food in the kitchen and call out a few of there names, "Sasori, Tobi, Konan!"
The sun starts setting, "Man, we spent a lot of time doing nothing... guess this is dinner."
I was expecting a comment about my obviousness from Deidara, but get none. I turn around and see him gone. "If you guys are trying to scare me, it's not working." I call out again. I pick up the fire poker just in case. I hear a scream, a GIRLS scream.
"I'd recognize that scream from anywhere..." I dash upstairs. "COAL!"
Another scream, some yells of pain. Yeah, definantly Coal.
"Guys, don't hurt her..." I drop the poker and walk into the room calmly. I see Coal tied up in the middle of the room. "She's my friend!"
"Hey Uke, you know these weirdo's? They claim to be the real Akatsuki but-"
"They are real. I just came back from McDonalds with Deidara, soo..." I explain sheepishly.
"WHAT!" She yells. "Why didn't you tell me before, I just told Carly to come over!"
"You didn't!"
"I did!"
"...That's actually a good thing, I was starting to get lonely."
"LONELY! You are with the Akatsuki!"
"Yeah, but there all guys except Konan and all older than me." I shrug and untie her.
A voice comes from downstairs, "Uke? Coal? You guys there?"
"Hey Scarlet!" Me and Coal call down.
"I've gotta surprise for joo!" I yell running down after her, Coal follows trying to shove me out the way, racing me.
It turns out as a tie as we crash into the floor at Scarlet's feet.
"Dude. What's with all the McDonalds?" Scarlet helps us both up.
"It's our dinner, un." Deidara comes downstairs. "...Who is this..."
"Friends, which I guess they're stuck with us now that they know of yo guys." I shrug.
"Huh? Why is there a Deidara cosplayer here?" Scarlet asks.
"Huh, there not cosplayers. There real. Really real, they got here from there weird portal thing. It broke down here and now there gonna fix it!" I explain.
She SCREAMS. I cover my ears as she lets it all out. She calms down, but by then everyone had come downstairs to the smell of McDonalds. I go to the table and start tossing food to Coal and Scarlet. More than enough for the both of us. I grab 4 Soda's and 2 fries and walk off, "The rest is yours!" I smile.
Me, Coal, and Scarlet take up the whole couch and the Akatsuki take up the floor around us unwillingly. Like hell if I was getting up and losing my spot.
"So wait, explain this to me, what the hell happened?"
"Well actually, it was a normal day for me, I went to sleep and when I woke up, they were there. Before i figured that out I attacked them with fruit!" I explain. "Then I found out they were the Akatsuki. They got here from there weird protal thingy, am I getting this right?"
"Gimme your spot and I'll tell you, un."
"Nice try, but no." I smirk and lean back to enjoy me soda, then shot back up. I turn to Coal, "Coal... come with me real quick."
"But what about our spots?" She says back.
"This is MUCH more important..." I drag her up the stairs to the extra room in the far back no one new about. It was a bit scary and I forget that it's there. We enter it and a immediatly scream when I see a spider. I dash past it and turn on the light. The room was a mess. I get a duster and remove the cobwebs, Coal gets a vacum finally catching on, and starts vacuming up spiders and other gross things.
"So whoes room will this be?"
"Hidan and kakuzu's. The only room that I don't CARE if it gets destroyed."
"And why?"
"Cause you two will hav to stay with me, then come back with me and the Akatsuki to there world cause they don't-"
"EEEEEP! YAAAAAAYY!" She squeals. I cover my ears annoyed.
We pull out the bed and walk out the room. When we get to the stairs I see mine and Coal's spots taken by Hidan and Deidara.
"Hidan, Kakuzu. You guys got a new room! It's at the end of the hall!" Coal calls out as we come down the stairs.
"WHY?" Hidan questions.
"Cause it's my house, and we've got 2 new guest." I roll my eyes. "Also, we get the big room-"
"We're sharing with TOBI!" Scarlet interupts.
"WHAT!" I question. "Oh no he isn't!"
"Yes he is!" Scarlet wraps her arms aorund Tobi.
"Urgh... fine."
"Hey, I was perfectly fine with the big room, un!"
"You get the big room, you get Tobi."
"Nevermind, un."
"Thought so. Work the rest out yourselves, I'm all outta food and my head hurts..."
"How much was all this food?" Kakuzu asks.
"Like $35.50, why?"
"..."
"Not a word Kakuzu." I shrug and flop down on the couch, laying on Deidara and Hidan. Coal lays with her feet on Deidara, me with my feet on Hidan.
"Fatasses..." Hidan mumbles.
"Says the guy who just ate for two people!" I gesture to his leftover wrappers.
"Shut up."
"You first, Jashin Bitch."
'You gonna let her get away with that Hidan?" Coal teases rolling off of him.
I sit up some as he gets a weird look on his face.
"I hate you sometimes, Coal. and now is one of those times." I grumble jumping off of Deidara and running out the room, Hdian chasing afetr me. He easily catches up. I glance at him, then hide behind Pein, like a human sheild.
"You little pansy..."
"..." I peek from behind Pein as Hidan stalks off. "Thanks..." I run at Coal and tackle her to the floor, "You bitch, are your TRYING to get me killed!"
"No!" She laughed. "Just some payback for leaving me with those ghetto ass kids down the street! Which I'm still plannign!"
"MEAN!"