Tony's revenge

Spoiler: The scene on the roof from Iron Man 2.

"It wasn't a question," Rhodey retorted, his faceplate shutting down immediately afterwards. War Machine looked up to the sky, ready for departure; "I'm ready," he said for good measure, and then-

Nothing happened.

A second went by, then another… Finally, Rhodey looked down. He tentatively raised one foot and then the other. "I'm ready," he said again, to no avail. The suit stayed put.

His faceplate slid back, revealing a very confused-looking man.

"Well, Colonel?"

Rhodey looked around and saw Tony pointing at him with his left hand, palm extended upwards. This in itself wasn't a bad sign; nor the fact that Tony's glove was glowing green. It was only when he looked into Tony's face that his heart sank: Tony was smiling placidly.

Tony Stark only smiled like this when he was about to pull a nasty trick on someone.

Suddenly, the War Machine suit lit up.

"What the hell?" Rhodey looked down in alarm. The suit was shaking violently now, causing every bolt and pin that held it together to fall off. "Oh, no! No, no, no-" Rhodey desperately grabbed at the falling bolts, but it was a lost cause; the suit was falling apart before his -and Tony's and Pepper's- very eyes. One minute it was holding up nicely, then the next it lay in pieces on the floor.

Tony pretended to share Rhodey's disbelief.

"Huh! Vanko didn't discover my secret device. Can you believe that?" He looked at Rhodey and then did a double take: Colonel Rhodes was wearing green shorts and nothing else.

"Gee, Colonel, ever heard of body suits?"

"Oh, my God," Pepper muttered, discreetly glancing away.

"Tony!" Rhodey had finally found his voice. "What the hell did you do?"

"I'm sorry, pal; I just can't let you take the suit with you."

"But why?"

Tony gave him a look. "After what your army pals did, d'you still have to ask?"

"Come on Tony; we didn't know what Hammer was going to do!"

"Uh, huh."

"It wasn't even Hammer! It was that guy Vanko, who -"

"Yeah, well. All the same, I'd rather you didn't take the suit back to base."

"What are you gonna do? You're not gonna destroy it, are you?"

"Maybe I will. Or maybe I won't." Tony paused as if he were still considering the situation. "It depends."

"It depends on what?"

"It depends on you, actually. Next time you use the suit, you better remember who the boss is. Deal?"

"Well, that depends too," Rhodey retorted. "Are you gonna be on top of your game next time?"

"Absolutely."

"Ok, then."

"Great," Tony said. "You can have the suit… But not tonight." He turned to Pepper. "Let's go, honey; the Colonel suggested we found our own roof, so -"

Rhodey looked up in alarm. "Are you nuts? You can't just leave! I'm half-naked, here!"

Tony glanced over his shoulder. "Oh, yeah," he said vaguely. "We'll get you a cab." He looked back at Pepper. "D'you have a cell phone?"

Pepper instinctively reached into a pocket, then stopped as if struck by a sudden thought. "Wait a minute. Rhodey? Did you know Tony was dying?"

"I -" Rhodey started, then paused. "Well... Not exactly."

Pepper walked up to him, eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'not exactly'?"

"Well… I..." He took a step back. "I knew the Palladium was, huh, causing some trouble in his system, but -"

"But you didn't think I should know."

"Hey, I didn't know it was serious! I mean, you know Tony; he always bounces back, no matter what! And besides -"

"Save it, Colonel," she said curtly. She turned to Tony. "I'm sure we'll find him a cab –eventually." Tony took this as a sign to reach for her again, but instead found himself held at arm's length by Pepper. He tried to sneak around her but couldn't manage it, hindered as he was by the suit. Vanko's drones were definitely easier to handle than a slender woman determined to thwart him. "I'm not finished with you, either," she warned.

"Oh, we've only just begun, all right," Tony said pleasantly, "Just say the word and I'll strip, too."

"I mean you've got a lot to explain!"

"Sure. I promise I'll explain everything –after I strip. Better yet," he added huskily, "I'll explain everything after you and me strip. Just choose the roof and I'll fly us there."

He was openly flirting, and Pepper's determination started to waiver.

"Don't change the subject," she said, trying to recover, "You were dying and you didn't tell me!"

"Ok, look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's just... It's a guy thing," he shrugged. "We don't like to appear vulnerable, right, Rhodey?"

"Don't get me into this," his friend muttered morosely.

Looking at the shivering, green-short clad Cnel. Rhodes, Tony realized that he might not be the right man to appeal for support right now.

"Anyway," he said, looking back at Pepper, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. But I learned my lesson. Next time I'm in trouble, I'll tell you all about it." He took a tentative step closer and met no resistance this time. "Like right now, for instance."

"What is it?" she said, looking at him with concern.

"I'm dying, Pepper," he said pitifully. "Only a smooch from you can save me."

"Oh, really," Pepper said, holding back a smirk.

"Yes, really." He took another step closer, his eyes unashamedly zeroing on her mouth."I got a taste early on, and now I'm hooked."

"Hooked?" she said, her hand starting a slow journey from his chest to his jaw.

"Yup. I need it, Pepper. I need it badly. I'm talking withdrawal, here."

"Oh, that's so romantic, Mr. Stark," she said, caressing his face, "Please tell me more."

"I will, but first there's something I wanna find out: who kept that grape we were fighting over?"

"You did."

"No. You did."

"Prove it," she replied, flashing him the tip of her tongue.

"There it is," Tony said breathlessly, and he quickly crushed his mouth on hers.

Rhodey, who'd been listening (and looking) all along, had had enough.

"Oh, you two make me sick!" He turned and stomped to the nearest fire escape.

Tony pulled back with some difficulty.

"Those ladders are rusty, pal!"

"I'll take my chances!"

Pepper was concerned, too. "Rhodey, you'll break your neck!"

"I HOPE SO!"

She was sincerely surprised by Rhodey's attitude. She glanced at Tony.

"Are we really that disgusting?"

"Does it matter?"

She paused for a couple of seconds. "No."

the end ...