Tony Jr.'s birthday, part two

I once read some poor soul's comment about how Iron Man was a copy of Robocop! First, I thought, 'what a stupid ass' and then I thought, 'Um... I think there's a fanfic there...'

It took me a while, but I finally finished the story.

A day before Tony Jr.'s birthday, Rhodey went down to the workshop and found, to his surprise, a giant Robocop birthday cake standing in a corner.

It made sense, in a way, since Tony's workshop was the one place his son had no access to, but it had to be tough on Tony, having to share his space with a rival, so to speak.

Tony seemed resigned. He was sitting at his workbench, putting candy and mementoes in dozens of gift bags for Tony Jr.'s friends.

The Coronel loyally set out to help his friend.

"So," he said, "I take one piece of candy from each of these bags, and then -"

"Yeah. But don't just take candy from any bag!"

Rhodey instantly withdrew his hand.

Tony pointed at a bag of lemon drops.

"You start with one of those, then go around like in a spiral." He methodically took pieces of candy and little gifts from each bag, finishing with a Hershey's kiss. "See? Once we get all the bags filled, we pass them to Dummy for sealing and tagging."

Rhodey looked bewildered. "You're kidding me," was all he said.

His reaction put Tony on the defensive.

"Hey, I'm only making sure that every kid gets the same number of things in their bags. It's called quality control."

"It's called being a control freak," Rhodey retorted. "Just chill, will ya? This isn't the assembly line at Stark Industries, Tony; it's a birthday party. You can't control everything at a birthday party –take my word for it."

"Look, are you gonna help or not?"

Rhodes's response was to reach for a lemon drop, but he didn't take it.

"Wait. Didn't Pepper say you were not to put any candy in the bags?"

"Yep."

"And yet you're -"

"It's a kids' party, Rhodey. They've got to get some candy. I mean, what's the point of being a kid if you can't eat candy?" and he pointedly unwrapped a Tootsie Roll and tossed it into his mouth.

Rhodes noticed the paper wraps littering the floor for the first time.

"If you keep gobbling those there won't be any left for the kids."

Tony pushed a bag in Rhodey's direction. "Want one?"

"Oh, yeah. What's the point of being an adult if you can have candy now and then?"

"We'll just have to spend a few extra hours at the gym."

"And a few more hours at the dentist."

"Stark Industries' got a great dental package," Tony said smugly.

They worked in silence for a while, with Rhodes throwing covert glances at the cake. He was wondering how to broach the subject when, to his surprise, Tony mentioned it first.

"Yes, Rhodey," he said, without looking up. "I know there's a Robocop cake in the room."

"So. You gave in, huh?"

Tony shrugged.

"What can I say. It's my kid's birthday."

"Yeah, but… Still. I'm surprised you haven't accidentally tripped over it or something."

"I did, last night. But Pepper had already ordered a second cake."

"Damn."

Tony sighed. "She knows me too well, Rhodey," he said. "I can't take her by surprise anymore."

"Get her some flowers. That will surprise her."

"Nah. If I get her flowers she'll only get suspicious -think that I'm trying to atone for something I did." He paused for a moment, then added, almost to himself. "She could be allergic to them for all I know."

"You're gonna leave this cake alone, then."

"Well, yeah. I don't wanna cause my kid any grief. And I don't want my wife to be pissed at me either."

"She chewed you off, huh?"

"Actually, she was very calm; she only looked at me and said, 'Are you proud of what you did?' you know, as if I were a little kid. She knows I hate it when she does that. I like it better when she gets angry and flushed and -"

"It turns you on, you mean."

"Oooh, yeah."

"So, you're ok with the Robocop cake, and the Robocop decorations, and the rest." Tony shrugged again. "I'm surprised," Rhodey said. "Not just by this," he said, nodding at the bags in front of them. "I would have thought you'd rent Disneyland or some shit like that for your kid. Holding an old-fashioned party at your own home doesn't sound like something a billionaire would do."

"Yeah, well. We thought we'd keep it simple. To keep the kid grounded, I mean."

"You mean Pepper decided what to do and you just went along."

"Exactly. I bow to her superior wisdom in these things. Besides, it's not like I'm gonna be at the party, so -"

"You're not?"

"Hey, I love my son. I don't wanna deal with little mons -" He didn't finish. Rhodey's nephews were coming over, after all.

"Go ahead," Rhodey said good-naturedly. "They're monsters, all right."

"You think so too? Huh. Then maybe I should warn you; Pepper's gonna ask you to lend her a hand at the party."

"Uh. Oh."

"It would only be for a couple of hours," Tony said. "Besides, you're Tony Jr.'s godfather, so technically it'd be your duty to be there for him."

"My duty? But what about -"

"But hey, if you can't help, then that's ok," Tony continued. "I'm sure you'll have a valid excuse to give her. She'll be disappointed, though." He paused. "Not to mention how sad Tony Jr., will be not to see his honorary uncle at his party. Ah, well."

Rhodey looked at him in disbelief.

"You're a manipulative son of a bitch, d'you know that?"

Tony merely offered him another Tootsie Roll.

TBC