Disclaimer: Skins is not mine, and will never be. :(

It had been ten months, three weeks and six days. He didn't mind that it was freezing cold outside and looked like rain soon. It smelled like freedom to him. He carried all his possessions in a bag and wore what didn't fit in it. The parole hearing had gone swimmingly, he thought. A year previous he'd never have thought he could stay out of trouble for that long, and it certainly had been hard. The last few months of his sentence he'd even picked up extra community service hours to make sure he was in the warden's good books, because he needed to get out. He used his other few days earned out of prison to do some cash in hand work at Keith's pub which Cook figured he'd need since his dad had fucked off altogether and his mother wasn't talking to him again. He was starting to go crazy in gaol, and, more importantly, Effy was still alone and he worried she might regress if she was left to her own dark thoughts. Her mother had no plans of returning to England any time soon, she had told Cook in a letter.

Effy's letters kept him motivated to pick up rubbish on highways. They came randomly, only when she had something interesting to say. She told him how she fixed up the house, about parties she went to with Katie, how she learned to sew a button when Pato's eye fell off, that Amy said she could start working a day or two a week if she felt up to it, and how she didn't like her grumpy, old manager at her new workplace. One time she mentioned that she was scared to sleep in the big house alone, but that was as much as she ever let on. She never called in case she said something she'd regret. At least when she wrote letters she could erase what she didn't want to say and what she needed to take back. Cook read and reread the letters several times and always found himself grinning at the words she wrote. He even loved the way she crossed the T's differently to the F's. Prison had been tolerable the last few months.

When he stepped across the threshold of the gate to the complex he turned, flipped the gaol the bird and pulled his two cardigans across his chest. He felt oddly triumphant. Cook walked to the train station in the freezing afternoon drizzle not giving a shit about anything and feeling on top of the world.

Going with his usual don't give a fuck about anything philosophy, he knocked on the door three times. When she opened the door and saw Cook grinning happily at her, her eyes almost fell out of her head. He hadn't told her his parole had been granted.

'Hey peachy, how goes it?' She was silent. His smile faltered. Maybe he shouldn't have come. 'You gonna make me stand in the rain all day?' More silence. But she stepped out of the doorway and he took it as a signal to proceed. Dumping his stuff in the hallway, they went upstairs to her room. Like a few months before, they sat on her bed together. They were silent for a long while and Cook was waiting for Effy to hit him or kick him in the bollocks or maybe even put out her cigarette on his arm, but she didn't do anything. That made him worried. Finally, she spoke instead. 'You didn't tell me your parole was granted.'

'Well, surprise!' He snatched the smoke from between her fingers as it travelled to her mouth. He inhaled deeply and she growled at him. She needed that cigarette. Her mind was in a complete spin. Why didn't he tell me? What am I doing sitting here with him?

'Cook, give it back!'

'No way, no how, babe. This spliff represents my fuckin' freedom. First one since I got out... Besides, I don't have much money for spliff these days, do I?'

'So you think you can knick mine?' He shrugged. 'You show up on my fucking doorstep, steal my spliff and I'm meant to be celebrating with you?' She reached to her bedside table and took her red pill with a swig of vodka, the nearest drink. What would Freddie have said if he knew Cook had started hanging round the girl he died to protect? Wouldn't he have been happy that the two people he loved most were happy together? I'm sorry Freddie. I know it's wrong. I just can't help it. I love him. She apologised in her head to her boyfriend who had been dead almost a year. He was still haunting her. God, she missed him.

'Fuck's sake, Eff, take it.' He rolled his eyes and handed it back. She was always so dramatic, but he loved that about her anyway.

'Why didn't you tell me your parole was granted, Cook? I could've come and picked you up. Mum left the car when she moved to France.'

He shrugged again. 'Dunno, babe. Nice surprise, though, innit?' He tried to make it sound like a joke, but she could see the wariness written all over his face. No one could read Cook like she could. She couldn't believe Cook was worrying about whether she'd want to see him. Actually, she could believe it. He wasn't as tough as people thought.

Effy bit her lip to keep from smiling. 'Fuck off; now I have to clean up after you, too. You better not destroy this house,' she said seriously. 'It took me bloody ages to get it this decent.'

'Effy Stonem, have you gone all house-wife on me?' He nudged his arm against hers. 'You gonna start popping babies out now and make me roast dinners and that?' They both laughed a little nervously. 'But really, Eff, is it okay if I stay here?'

'Course, Cook. For as long as you want. Just try not to be a prick. And put the toilet seat down. Then everything will be cool.' They lapsed into laughter.

'Sure thing, peachy. Deal.'

Cook unpacked all his things in the room that had once been Effy's before she moved into Tony's room. She had painted the walls a plain white- a blank canvas. He felt a strange sense of comfort and belonging, like he had finally come home, even though he had never lived there. Maybe it was because Effy did.

Cook blu-tacked his favourite picture of Freddie, JJ and himself above the bedhead. The one of them dressed in costume. He touched his finger to Freddie's smiling face. 'She misses you, man... I hope it's okay that I'm staying here, Freds. But Cookie needs the love, too, eh?' He usually told him about his day in his head. He thought Freddie could probably hear it wherever he was. He didn't often speak to Freddie out loud, so it must have been important. He smiled, not caring in the slightest that he was talking to a picture. 'I'll take care of her, man. I love her.' He walked over to the window and looked up at the sky forlornly, as if Freddie might be out there. Talking to the clouds, he whispered 'I miss you,' and tried to put missing Freddie out of his mind for a little while to enjoy being a free man. He heard Effy's footsteps as he was getting changed. Cook looked to the picture again. 'I really fucking love you, you bastard.'

Effy felt a little odd, like Cook should be unpacking those things into her room, his shirts folded alongside hers. She had once been so used to sharing a bed with him, sharing someone else's cupboard with him, sharing a motel or a back seat of a car…always with him. She remembered their outlaw tour of Britain. They went to one small, shitty town after another, they weren't even heading anywhere, and they were fucked off their faces most of the time. All she had wanted to do was go home and be with Freddie and once she was, she realised that it had been the best time ever. And she'd thrown it away.

She walked into his new room, not caring to knock. He was halfway through taking off some of the superfluous layers of clothes, now that he had a set of draws. Effy was taken aback to see him half naked for the first time in, what seemed to her, eons. Too long, it had been, she thought. He had definitely put on some more muscle. She felt a pang of need and a whole lot of desire that she had tried to supress for too long. The almost year he spent in prison, and even those looks they exchanged when she was with Freddie; she'd always wanted him back. But then he'd stopped chasing her, he'd given up. She recalled his parting words last time they were together: 'I missed you, Effy.' She thought maybe that meant he loved her after all, that he'd loved her all along even when he'd stopped trying to win her. She hoped, anyway. She really didn't know anymore.

Cook looked a little like a stunned mullet when he noticed Effy standing just inside the doorway, eyeing him off, but quickly recovered. 'Being employed has its perks, you know, Cook.'

'Yeah? What's that, babe?'

'Money .'

'What are you gettin' at?'

'You might not have any money.' She took a few tentative steps towards him. 'But I get paid every week. So let's celebrate tonight. My shout. How do you feel about getting monumentally fucked up?'

'What you got? Pills?'

'Pills, weed, booze and MDMA.'

He leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. 'You are my fucking hero, Effy Stonem. Did you know that?' She laughed at his words, not realising how genuine they were.

'So…do you want to go out tonight? Katie wants to go clubbing. Maybe you could ask JJ to come, too.'

'Effy, please, babe. Do you even need to ask? It's been too fucking long since a party has had the pleasure of my presence.' He forgot about putting on a shirt and she led him to her drug stash. There was at least £40 of weed, four bottles of vodka, one of whiskey, seven pills and six MDMA caps. She must have spent half her money on collecting drugs for a rainy day…or for Cook's homecoming.

They started off with some vodka and by smoking a few joints. Cook felt great. They lay on her bed smoking and everything was right. 'This is nice. I'm glad you're home,' she said.

'Yeah, home…' They were quiet, listening to the music on the stereo and breathing in their release from their fucked up lives. 'Fucking great stash you got here, Eff,' he spoke lazily. His mind was cloudy and it was so good. Her eyes were shut and all she said was 'Only I can get such a cheap deal for quality stuff like this.' His eyes were shut, too, and he wasn't really thinking by then.

'Ah, Eff, one of the many reasons I love you.' Her eyes snapped open.

A/N I decided to continue due to some kind reviews that spurred me on! I really struggled with this chapter, to spit out the words how they sounded in my head. It was tricky but I got there in the end. Please let me know what you love and hate, and if you think all that effort spent on the chapter gave a good result. I'm still unsure how I feel about this one.