Kiss the Bride

Inspired by an Elton John song.

Pepper would never marry a man she didn't love... Or so Tony thought. He also thought she'd stay by his side forever. Fortunately, Rhodey's there to help him face the facts.

Well she looked a peach in the dress she made
When she was still her mama's little girl
And when she walked down the aisle everybody smiled
At her innocence and curls
And when the preacher said is there anyone here
Got a reason why they shouldn't wed
I should have stuck up my hand
I should have got up to stand
And this is what I should have said

I wanna kiss the bride yeah!
I wanna kiss the bride yeah!
Long before she met him
She was mine, mine, mine
Don't say I do
Say bye, bye, bye
And let me kiss the bride yeah!

Tony Stark put down his solder gun. He took a deep breath, shrugged one shoulder to ease the tension, then picked his gun again. He readjusted his goggles, leant forward, tried to focus on the tiny pieces he was fusing...

And when she slipped on the ring I knew everything
Would never be the same again
But if the groom would have known he'd have had a fit
About his wife and the things we did
And what I planned to say
Yeah on her wedding day
Well I thought it but I kept it hid

... but there was no use: his concentration was bust.

He glared; first at the CD player resting on the workbench, then at the owner. Jim Rhodes was lying on a couch on the opposite side, a magazine in one hand, a remote in the other. His right leg was propped on a cushion, the blue cast a reminder of a recent mishap; he had a twisted ankle, and he he'd been using a crutch for days now.

Seeing him like this should have elicited some sympathy from Tony, but it didn't.

"Hey, Tiny Tim," he said uncharitably; "Play something else, will ya?"

Rhodes looked up. "You don't like pop rock?" he asked innocently.

"Not when I have to hear the same song twice. And since when do you like Elton John, anyway?"

Rhodey shrugged.

"I don't."

"Then why are you playing his music?"

"Oh, I'm glad you asked. " Rhodey said, and he smiled placidly. "You see, Elton doesn't really bother me. You, on the other hand, can't concentrate with this kind of music. I figured, if I was gonna be miserable, you might as well be miserable too. I mean, I shouldn't even be here, Tony."

"Here we go," Tony muttered.

"I should be out there doing cool things," Jim continued; "I should be working. Instead, I've got to take it easy for a week-and-a-half. And why do I have to take it easy for a week-and-a-half?" He didn't wait for a reply; "I've got a busted ankle; that's why. As for whose fault it is -"

Tony raised a hand.

"Ok, ok, I get it. It's payback time. Can you at least replay a different song? That one's stupid."

Rhodes frowned. "You think so?"

"Hell, yeah. I mean, 'Kiss the bride?' Come on!"

"Well -"

"I mean, that's not what you do in that kind of situation."

"Really?" Rhodey looked up with interest. "What would you do?"

"Well, I wouldn't let her plan a wedding, that's for sure," Tony said sarcastically. "I mean, was this guy comatose, or what?"

"I don't know, Tony;" Rhodes said slowly; "Maybe he was in some sort of confinement. Jail, for instance. Or a workshop."

"Whatever," Tony muttered. "If he let things go that far, then he deserves to lose her." He picked his gun and pointedly looked at Rhodey, who responded by turning off the CD player. Tony smiled. "Thanks, pal."

Jim watched Tony work for a moment, then asked off-handedly. "Hey, Tone? Where's Pepper?"

Tony didn't immediately reply, and when he did, he merely said, "Huh?"

"Not that Mrs. Rennie isn't pleasant and all," Rhodes continued, "But I miss our lovely Miss Potts."

"Pepper? She's on vacation. I told you, didn't I?"

Rhodes shook his head. "Tony, a week is a vacation. Two weeks is a vacation. But a month-and-a half? That's a desertion."

"Actually, it's called a leave of absence, Colonel. She said she needed some time off, and I agreed."

"Oh, I agree she needed the time off, but a month and a half -"

"A month and one week," Tony cut in. "It's important to be accurate, here."

Rhodey was silent for a moment.

"Did she say when she's coming back?"

Tony's response was barely audible.

"She'll be back when she's ready."

"Ready? What does that mean?"

Tony didn't reply.

Rhodes sighed. "Listen, Tony. I didn't wanna broach the subject, but -"

"Then don't broach it."

"-but I've got a busted ankle," Jim finished. "And do you know how I got my ankle bust, Tony?"

Tony reluctantly removed his goggles. "Look -"

Jim raised a hand. "No, wait," he said calmly: "It's a funny story, actually," he added, as if he were about to share the greatest joke; "You see, I've got a busted ankle because the guy who built my armor fucked up the design and didn't know he'd fucked up till I crashed and BUSTED MY ANKLE!"

"Now, wait a minute," Tony said indignantly. "There was nothing wrong with my design!" He paused for a couple of seconds, then added, sheepishly. "One of the pieces I used was defective."

"And you didn't notice this because…?" Rhodes paused, but got no reply. "Because you were too preoccupied to focus on my suit. Come on, Tone; why don't you just admit it? It'd be easier if you did."

"I wasn't preoccupied' -"

"Well, I am, Tony;" Rhodes replied, "'Cause as long as Pepper's gone, your mind isn't a 100% on your job. And that's scary." Those last words seemed to have an effect on Tony; the man removed his goggles and put them on the table. For once, he didn't have a snappy come back. "Now, look; if there's anything I can do... I'm here, pal."

"It's no big deal," Tony muttered. "She…"

"- quit."

"She didn't quit! She just needed some time to find herself!"

"Find herself," Rhodes snorted. "Yeah, right. She found herself a boyfriend; that's what she did."

"He's not her boyfriend!" Tony said it as if this wasn't the first time he'd tried to convince someone. "He's just a childhood friend; a sickly kid she used to be protective of!"

"Oh, so you did know about the guy."

"Mrs. Rennie mentioned him a couple of weeks ago," Tony muttered reluctantly.

"Uh, huh. And did she also mention this 'sickly 'kid' is now a 6'3 architect who often models clothes for GQ?"

There. Rhodes had touched a raw nerve; Tony's pain showed in his eyes for the first time. It was gone almost instantly, but his friend knew him too well not to notice.

Jim softened his tone. "Ok, look; I don't mean to be nasty here. I just want you to face facts: She's obviously been in touch with this guy for years; they got together again, and things got serious."

Tony looked up.

"So, she's got a boyfriend," he said quietly. "It doesn't mean she's not coming back."

Jim rolled his eyes in disbelief.

"She belongs with me," Tony said stubbornly. "She knows that."

"Then why did she take this leave of absence in the first place? And don't try selling me that crap about her 'trying to find herself'. Something happened between you two, right? Something big. I mean, apart from the obvious," he added snidely. "You two were doing it, weren't you."

Tony smiled, but only briefly.

"Yeah," he said. "We were."

"I thought so; I noticed how flushed and rumpled she looked after each 'meeting.' And you looked more smug than usual too." He leant forward. "So, what the hell happened? Spill man; did she wanna get serious and you didn't?"

"It wasn't -"

"Did she catch you fooling around with some other chic?"

"No!"

"Then what?" Smiling, he asked, "Did you, ahem, fail to perform?"

Tony shot him a look but didn't deign to reply.

"Ok, then what did you do?"

"Why do you assume I did anything?"

"I don't know; past history? Come on, whatever it was, it had to be pretty serious for her to pick up and leave. Oh, man," he groaned suddenly. "You asked her to sign a prenup, didn't you."

Tony glared. "No, I didn't ask her to sign a prenup! It wasn't any of those things, ok? She just -" He stopped himself on time. "She wanted something I couldn't give her."

"Like what? Money? No, not money," Rhodey added to himself. "Did she ask you to stop wearing the Iron Man armor?" Tony scoffed softly, as if the idea was too ludicrous to consider. "So, what the hell happened?"

Tony shook his head. "Let it go, Rhodey; there's nothing you can do. But don't worry; she'll be back. She just needs time."

"Time? She's been gone for more than a month, and you think time is all she needs?"

"She'll come around," Tony said reassuringly. "There's no way she's gonna stay with this guy."

Jim threw the remote. "God, you're such an idiot! Don't you know what day is today?"

"Friday?"

"Yeah, Tony; today's Friday. And do you know where she's gonna be at four today? St. Martin's Cathedral!"

"St. Martin's Cathedral?" Tony frowned. "Why would she need to be at -" He froze, in sudden realization. "You don't mean -"

"Yes."

"No way."

"I'm afraid it's true, man."

"No way," Tony said mechanically; "She'd never marry a man she didn't love."

"How do you know? Women are kinda funny when it comes to love, Tone. If she still feels protective of him, well, that might be enough for her."

"Not Pepper. She'd never do that." But he'd started to sound like he was trying to convince himself.

"Fine," Rhodey said. "Have it your way." He leant back on the couch. "All I know is that she's scheduled to be at St. Martin's at four. I got an invite, by the way," he added casually. "I would have gone, but, like I said, I've got a busted ankle."

Tony looked up incredulously.

"You got an invite? And you didn't tell me until now?"

"She asked me not to. And frankly, I didn't think you'd give a fuck. I mean, you didn't even blink when she left. You knew she was seeing this guy and you still didn't do anything!"

"I didn't think it was serious!"

"Well, it is, you moron! She probably got tired of waiting for you to change your mind about –well, whatever it is that you didn't make up your mind about." He paused. "So, Mr. Stark; the question now is, are you gonna let her go through with this, or are you gonna do something about it?"

Tony's response was swift.

"JARVIS? Get me the Mark X suit, will ya?" And he turned in that armor's direction.

Rhodes half-rose in alarm.

"Not that, you ass! You can't wear armor in church! What's wrong with you?"

"But this is the fastest way to get there!"

"You can't go in as Iron Man! You'll scare the crap out of people there! And it's a bad PR move, too. If word gets around that Iron Man visited a Christian church, people from all over the world will accuse you of religious bias! They'll demand that you visit each and every one of their temples!"

"I can do that," Tony said confidently; "I'll program a dozen armors to do the job."

"Fine," Jim said. "Do that." Off-handedly, he added. "I don't think Pepper will be thrilled to see Iron Man busting into St. Martins's, though."

Tony didn't hesitate.

"JARVIS? Forget about the Mark X. I'll drive instead."

"A wise decision, Mr. Stark. And please convey my best wishes to Miss Potts on this happy occasion."

"Traitor," Tony muttered.

TBC