~I do not own these characters

Author's Note: Okay, so I was chewing gum while making this chapter, and I almost choked because I was laughing so hard. So I advise you, do not eat anything while reading this because there is a possible death risk (Lol)

Carlisle's List

The Cullens all came together, each one of them nickering secretly, and sat on the couch. Bella blocked out Edwards mind reading abilities, and Alice tried her best not to look into the future. Everyone sat in the living room and looked at each other with smiles. Emmett was already on the brink of laughter. Finally Alice cleared her throat:

"Okay, everyone! Even though I'm dying to see people do my list, I think we should start with Carlisle's list, seeing that he's the oldest. And then he'll choose who goes after him. Any problems?" No one said anything. "Okay! Carlisle, why don't you tell each of us what we have to do?"

With that, Carlisle stood up with a humongous grin on his face. "Be ready, okay? Esme?" Esme looked up, suddenly nervous.

"Yes?"

"You're gonna drink a large carton of spoiled milk." Carlisle chuckled. Esme's mouth dropped open, while Emmett fell to the floor practically in tears.

"Carlisle! You know how much I hate the smell of spoiled dairy! Now, you want me to drink it?!" Esme was on the verge of punching Carlisle. She had a serious phobia of spoiled dairy, and he knew that.

"Now, now Esme," Alice chuckled. "Rules are rules. Keep going Carlisle."

Carlisle nodded and continued down his list. "Edward, you're gonna have to let Alice put make-up on you." Alice cheered happily, while Edward groaned. "Bella, you're gonna have to wear a mini-skirt and a skimpy top, and then flirt with random old men."

"What the hell?!" Bella shouted. Edward was now joining Emmett in the rolling on the floor session.

"Jasper," Carlisle laughed, hardly able to keep a straight face, "you're gonna have to talk like a bubbly homosexual for 24 hours." Jasper glared at Carlisle while Alice tried not to laugh (but failed miserably).

"Alice, you can't talk at all for 24 hours." Carlisle laughed.

"Burn!" Emmett chortled, but yelped when Alice punched him in the stomach.

"Emmett," Carlisle choked out between laughing fits. "Emmett, you have to watch at least 3 yaoi movies without closing your eyes." Emmet stopped laughing immediately.

"Aw, what the hell, Carlisle? That's sick!" Emmett growled. Carlisle had to catch his breath before he could continue.

"Um, Rosalie?" Carlisle asked, already on the verge of laughing again.

"Yes…?" Rosalie asked, anxiously.

"You have to go into public with visibly dirty hair─"

"Aw, hell no!" Rosalie shouted, jumping out of her seat.

"And Reneesme," Carlisle finished. "You have to drink baby formula all day."

Reneesme, whom was laughing harder than she ever has, groaned in remorse. "Do I have to? That stuff tastes worse than Jacob's attempt at homemade pizza."

Carlisle went to tears rolling on the floor while everyone glared at him.

"I hate you." They all chorused in irritation.

I will have the action chapter in tomorrow, I swear! Don't get your panties in a bunch