~A/N – Fast update time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, grasshoppa


Bella's List

Bella and Edward trudged into the living room and collapsed onto the couch. Edward sighed loudly and looked at Bella.

"Who in the hell gave Kevin my phone number?" he asked jadedly.

"Don't look at me. Go ask Alice."

"I can't believe he left me 53 messages on my phone!" Edward wailed.

"Yeah," Bella agreed. "I almost threw your phone out the window."

Bella sat up on the couch just as Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle walked down the stairs. Bella couldn't help but notice how strained Emmett and Rosalie looked next to each other.

"Oh, come on!" Bella threw her hands up in frustration. "You two can't possibly be that mad at each other!"

Emmett sighed and sat next to Bella. "You have no idea… how mad I am…"

Rosalie flinched and leaned against the wall. "I'm sorry, Emmett! I let the game get to my head."

"So you tried to score extra points?" Emmett huffed.

"Enough," Esme snapped, "this has got to stop! You guys should save the arguments for when the game is done. As of right now, however, no arguing is allowed."

"Listen to your mother," Carlisle agreed. Although, Bella noticed how strained he looked too.

"What's wrong, Carlisle?" she asked.

He put his face in his hands and shook his head. "I can still taste that damn nicotine. Ugh."

Jasper, Alice, and Reneesme walked through the door and joined them in the living room. "Aloha, amigos!" Alice beamed.

"Sweetheart," Jasper snickered, "those are two different languages."

"Whatever!" Alice said, unruffled.

"Why are you so happy?" Edward asked suspiciously.

"Because my challenge is over." Alice said innocently. However, Edward continued staring at her, clearly not buying it.

"Anyways," Bella said getting up, "time for my challenges!"

"Oh dear God," Edward whimpered.

"May I begin?" Bella asked happily.

"Be my guest." Carlisle said hesitantly.

"Okay!" she squealed happily while turning to Edward. "Edward, I want you to wear ass-length short shorts and bend down as much as possible in public!"

"Ha!" Emmett laughed, falling to the floor.

"You can't be serious!" Edward wailed. "Oh, come on!"

"Sucks to be you," Reneesme snickered.

"Reneesme," Bella laughed, "you have to eat nothing but vegetables all day long─"

"Ew!" Reneesme grimaced. "But why?"

"Because I said so." Bella said simply. "Carlisle, you have to run up to every pack member naked!"

Edward and Rosalie started cracking up laughing as Carlisle's jaw dropped. "You mother─"

"Esme," Bella ignored Carlisle, "you have to smoke as many cigarettes as possible in one day."

Esme growled loudly and glared at Bella. "You are the bane of my existence. Why cigarettes?!"

"Well, it looks like you and Carlisle are going to be smelling like tobacco for a long time!" Emmett laughed loudly.

"Emmett, I wouldn't be laughing, if I were you." Bella said evilly. "You have to lick a banana like a pervert in public."

Emmett stopped laughing and glared at Bella. "You Cullens are just trying to turn all of us gay, aren't you? I'm gonna get molested!"

"Heh, man oh man, Emmett." Jasper laughed. "You better make that banana feel loved. Make it feel sexy─"

"Shut the hell up, Jasper," Emmett growled.

"Rosalie," Bella gasped between guffaws, "you have to remain in the same room as a clown for as long as you can."

Rosalie's eyes widened in horror. "NO!!! Bella, please! I hate clowns! They freak me out!"

"If you don't do it, Rose," Bella warned, "then I'll make you go to Wal-Mart and dress up like a clown."

"I hate you!" Rosalie sobbed.

"Jasper," Bella said, trying, but failing, to keep a straight face. "You have to run around Forks singing the Circle of Life, from the Lion King."

"OhmyGod, can I sing back-up harmonies?" Edward laughed loudly.

"Grrr." Jasper growled.

"Alice," Bella continued, "you have to eat nothing but fast food for 24 hours!"

"Oh, Lord have mercy! You can't be serious!" Alice moaned.

"I better see you eat some McDonalds, Alice." Bella laughed. "And Burger King. And Taco Bell. And KFC. Need I go on?"

Alice groaned as Jasper joined Emmett on the floor laughing.

"Oh man, this is gonna be fun!" Bella beamed.