Phantom sense

An hour later, I staggered out of the danger room. In the course of that hour I had been beheaded, skewered, sliced, diced, and torn to ribbons.

"That was fun. We should do that again sometime."

"We'll see." Wolverine started to walk away. "Bub."

I rolled my eyes.

Then I realized that in my hurry to get to the Danger Room, I had neglected to find out where my room was. I'd have to find McCoy or the professor.

My tracking skill were a bit rusty. It took me almost two minutes to locate the professor.

"Would you care to take a seat, Eternal? I'm sure that a chair would be much more comfortable than the ceiling."

I shook my head. "No point. I'm only staying long enough for you to tell me where my room is."

"I have a better idea."

He closed his eyes for a moment.

A second later a young teenage girl walked through the door. Literally.

"Ah, Kitty. Could you escort out guest to his room?"

"Sure professor. Where is it?"

Xavier told her.

"OK, I can do that. Come on."

I dropped to the floor and followed her out of the room.

"So, you don't ever die? Wow! You're like, invincible!"

I smiled. "Not true, actually. My power only activates when I die. I can no more heal a paper cut than you can. Wolverine is more invincible than I am."

"Oh. Really?"

"Yes."

We turned a corner.

By the smell we must be near the compost heap.

"Oh, I was baking muffins earlier. Do you want one?"

Or that. This was challenge that I had never expected. I had single-handedly defeated armies, monsters, raging seas, and political upheaval. But this was one thing that I could not beat: a smiling girl with a tray of muffins.

"Thanks you kindly, but no. I've heard horror stories about those muffins."

"I know! How could anyone hate these muffins? They're really good!"

I grinned. "You have a point. Alright, I'll try one. It's not like it can kill me, now is is?"

Kitty chuckled as I took one of her muffins and bit in.

It was like biting into molten lead.

I managed to swallow.

"How was it?" Kitty asked breathlessly.

"If you come over here I can show you." I rasped through scorched vocal cords. "You owe me a new throat."

Kitty winced. "They can't be that bad!"

I realized that desperate measures were called for. "They aren't. I just really don't like hot food."

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't know."

"That's OK. Now, are we going to my room or not?"

As we were walking out of the kitchen, I noticed something strange. The metal handles on the cabinets were vibrating furiously.

Idly I wondered who of the X-men could be responsible for this phenomenon. The answer came to me in a flash, and I dropped to the ground, pulling Kitty down with me, just as the wall behind us was ripped free from the rest of the wall to reveal Magneto and his four acolytes.

I jumped to my feet. "Kitty, if this is attack about your muffins, I will kill you."