A/N Hey! Meli here! I'm surprised I came up with something to say in these for the first two chapters. But, alas, I have run out. So yeah. Read on, and stuff!
WARNINGS: Language warning! I curse, deal with it. The rating is T for a reason. Yaoi warning! This fic might contain yaoi in later chapters, but this is a definite maybe. I love yaoi, but I might not put it in here so it will appeal to a larger group. Still internally debating on it. Leave a review on whether I should add yaoi or not.
DISCLAIMER: I only own my stuffed dragon (Doug), an excessive amount of wallets, and thirty-two cents. Was Yu-Gi-Oh! on that list? I think not.
Chapter 3: Another Day in the Life of Seto Kaiba.
The first day on the ship involved loads of sleeping and dominos. They took off during the night, and the technical first day didn't really count as a day, for they have eight more after it. The next day, however, is where our heroes are currently reside.
"Wakey, wakey, eggs and bac-y!" Layla's effervescent voice rhymed over the loudspeaker, jolting all the cruise-goers out of their dream lands and into the harsh universe called reality. "Today is our first sea day, so every single one of you should rise and shine and prepare to have fun!" the peppy voice cheered, with a slightly devious grin on the owner's face that none could see.
She clicked off the speaker system and skipped down to the Pools—which are situated on the Lido Deck, which is the ninth deck—and began to set up her first activity with a devilish flourish on her every motion. "This is going to be entertaining," she whispered to herself, and then began whistling while she worked like those annoying dwarves from Snow White.
:-:-:
After about an hour, all of the teens whom this story is based upon were bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. This—in retrospect—makes no sense because they aren't squirrels. Also, they are tired as sloths because they spent all of the previous night playing hard-core dominos with a bunch of old Cubans who were chilling in the library.
They all stumbled their ways down to the Lido Deck, which contains the buffet tables along with the pools. Once they made it to the ninth floor, the small crowd ambled over to a table, plopping down dejectedly and slamming their heads down onto the table in aggravation. This apparent irritation was due to one or more of the following: cramps, sleepiness, PMS, annoyance, and actually being asleep. Assume at your own risk.
"So… Where are the servers?" Seto asked after he had raised his head.
Mai decided she wanted to answer, "It's a buffet, rich-boy. You have to actually get up."
"THAT'S the best you came up with? Not even anything witty? You are such a failure…" Bakura laughed, taunting Mai's attempt at humor. Malik and Marik nodded in agreement, whilst snickering as well. Female amethyst eyes were narrowed and three teens were clocked in the head with an assortment of utensils. "Damn it, Mai! Now there is a fork stuck in my hair!" Marik lamented, while crossing his arms with an out-of-character pout.
Bakura smirked in response and turned on his BFFL, "Shut it, Goldilocks. That's what you get for that gel-over-dose."
"Shut up! You know full well this is somehow natural! And what about you, Chicken Wings? Why do you have fuckin' ANTLERS?"
The pair of best friends continued to bicker while the rest of their group chose to ignore them and went about obtaining food. Katsuya and Hiroto ran over to the tables, piling mountains of food-stuffs onto their plates and racing back to the table. Anzu rolled her sapphire eyes and followed them. But, unlike the two idiots whose paths she followed, she did not fall flat on her face into her plate of food. She just giggled and placed her female rear into the seat she had previously occupied, Mai following suit and plopping down next to her friend. Seto had just sent his brother to fetch him something "suitable for consumption" as the CEO delicately worded it. Malik and Ryou were attaining nutrients for their yamis, the tanned one of the two bitching the entire time about how heavy his dark's food is. Yami was busy laughing like a schoolboy at the antics of his fellow dark sides. Well, one dark side and one crazy-ass split-personality.
Yuugi flicked Yami's ear, "Idiot! Why are you laughing? It was YOUR shadow-magic-gone-wrong that gave those two trouble-makers their own bodies! Do you see the result of trying to fuse the two of them together in their sleep? What did this teach you?"
"The lesson?" the Pharaoh replied, "Never to lift Marik again! My arms still hurt from that! Marik is a heavy bastard!" His hikari just smacked his own forehead and followed Ryou and Malik on their "quest to acquire food".
"Yeah, well, your hikari looks like a girl!" Marik vociferated, probably in response to something his best friend had said.
"I resent that!" Ryou called from a few tables away.
Bakura, not wanting to be outdone, retorted, "Just go back to playing with your phallic symbol, you pixie!"
"Oh I'M the pixie. Right. Because I'M clearly the one with the long white hair and the floral, pink shirt!" Came the response, accompanied by an enraged growl.
"You two should stop arguing. It can't be good for you," the Pharaoh decided to intrude on their conversation.
"Quiet, Señor Lightning-Hair!" the tanned yami snapped.
The albino smirked cockily, "Yeah! What did you do, get stuck in the electric chair?" Both snickered and high-fived, beaming when their mutual enemy's facial expression shifted from apathetic to pissed off. They continued to taunt the poor half-soul while they ate the food their hikaris had dropped in front of them, their previous feud completely forgotten.
:-:-:
"Oooooooh! We should do the water games! It starts in twenty minutes. We should make it in time," Yuugi suggested, a wide smile dominating his impish face as he looked from the 'Fun Times' itinerary. Yami nodded fiercely, glancing at his fellow spiky-headed idiots.
"I challenge you both to a little game! Whoever wins these "water games" is truly the ultimate yami!" the Pharaoh challenged, pointing at the Egyptian and the albino.
Marik smirked, "Hell yeah! Let's do this!"
Bakura nodded vigorously in agreement, which sent colorless locks catapulting through the warm air.
"Hey! I want in on this," Mai intruded, her lips curved into a devious smile.
Ryuuji decided he wanted to join in on the fun, "Well, no way in dice games is this shit going down without me."
:-:-:
So, currently, the five of them are going to compete. They all wagered something on the outcome of this competition. The items bet were: Marik's earrings, Bakura's boxers, Yami's leather shirt, Mai's "expensive" nail polish she bought at the dollar store, and Ryuuji borrowed a box of condoms from Seto to bet. Only Ra knows how many that man still has.
"Oh my Ra. Malik! Come check out this condom!" the sun-kissed yami called over his hikari.
The shorter of the duo strolled over, "Hmn? What is it?"
"Look at the wrapper! It's AMAZING!" Marik grinned. On the wrapper, it showed a chibi Darth Vader with the caption, "I will not be your father".
Malik's eyes widened, "Marik! … THIS IS SO FANTASTIC! YOU BETTER WIN THIS DAMN THING!"
"I know, I know."
:-:-:
"Okay! Are you all here for the pool games?" Layla asked cheerfully, a grin creeping its way across her thin face.
"No. We are clearly just standing around in our bathing suits attempting to set our hair on fire," Bakura spat sarcastically.
The cruise director rolled her hazel eyes, "Shut it, Handlebars."
"Oh no she didn't!" Marik laughed, whilst sticking his tongue out at Bakura.
"Anyhow, let's get this show on the road! Who are our contestants for today's competition?" Layla ignored the tanned yami and asked the crowd that had gathered while she was distracted totally owning Bakura.
"I am!" Mai squealed, waving her arm around her head wildly.
"Okay, Blondie. Anyone else man enough?" The employee responded, gazing at the group of cruise-goers.
"Me, too!" all three of the yamis called out simultaneously.
Layla smirked, "Alright! So we got Blondie, the creampuff, Starfish-head, and the hair-gel happy bleach-head. Any more victims?"
Otogi debated even raising his hand after she had mentioned the word "victims", but his hand shot up of its own accord. "Alright! Fruity-boy is joining in on the fun! C'mon! We need one more person to make it an even number. Any bids?" the cruise director tried to rally up more participants.
"This could be interesting. I'm in," a random fat guy waddled up and stated.
"Kay! Now, everyone in the pool!" Layla commanded, waving her arm over the vast expanse of water.
Marik and Bakura thought it would be just hilarious to do cannon-balls into the pool. And it was. They had completely drenched some sunbathing women and a group of small children who were crying their eyeballs out because the random fat guy—now referred to as RFG—stole the ice cream that they had paid so much money for. Well, it was free, but still!
Anyhow, the contestants were now lazily lounging in the hole full of water, loafing around until Layla decided to actually start the damn thing.
"Alright maggots, listen up! The first challenge is a simple race! Two laps back and forth, bow to aft. The monkey that comes in last is the one kicked out this round. Any questions?" the aforementioned cruise director smirked at the group in the salty water.
"Wait… So this is like America's Next Top Model?" Malik inquired from his perch on a deck chair. Every head in the vicinity turned to him, looks of horror etched onto their faces.
"What?" he looked around with a confused expression on his tanned face, "I like that show."
"Just… Swim to that end of the pool," Layla told the "victims" while pointing towards of front end of the basin filled with H₂O. They nodded excitedly, all swimming hastily towards the bow end of the ditch filled with sea water. The short woman with the charcoal hair bounced over the aft end of the pool and pulled a bright yellow whistle out of nowhere.
"Ha! Is that a rape whistle or something?" Bakura called from his spot sitting on the side of the pool deck.
Hazel eyes were narrowed, "Clearly. Just like how you look like a rabid ferret on steroids." That shut him up.
"Alright! On your mark… get set…" the cruise director finished the count-off with a high-pitched shriek from her neon whistle. This sent the people in the pool swimming, each struggling due to the salt content of the water they were splashing around in. Somehow, the one who was eliminated was Ryuuji. His earring had fallen off mid-dive, so he had to fall back to find it. He did. Attached to the grates on the floor of the pool. Took three trips to get the damn thing undone. The poor bastard.
After games of volleyball, Marco Polo, and water basketball; Marik, Mai, and RFG—whose name was discovered to be Albert—had been eliminated.
Marik lost the volleyball game because the ball was punctured on one of the multitude of spikes erupting from his tan head, therefore getting him disqualified.
Albert got his fat ass handed to him in Marco Polo because he took up more than a third of the possible pool-space. This made him an easy target, so Yami easily tagged him first.
Mai had a disadvantage in water basketball; due to the fact that she doesn't play sports, let alone basketball. Which she justified by telling her friends, "It's such a black sport."
This left Yami and Bakura as the two finalists. Layla decided that the only appropriate challenge for the both of them was a breath-holding contest. Secretly, she hoped one or both of them would drown. They irritated her out of her cheerful nature and into her evil personality.
Anyhow, they were now preparing to go down for as long as their lungs would allow.
"C'mon, 'Kura! Beat this asstard!" Marik cheered from the edge of the pool, finally done sulking after his unfortunate loss. Said albino just bared his sharp canines and nodded, his eyes gleaming mischievously with a hint of insanity thrown in for good measure. The unearthly and demented expression sent chills down the third yami's spine, yet convinced him of his need to win the utterly pointless competition.
"Kay, Knuckleheads. Time to start!" the petite cruise director told the yamis in the pool. Both pairs of eyes below her hardened then disappeared beneath the surface of the salty water. All of the humans—and the one split personality—looked on with a veil of silence coming to rest around the scene. Every soul was anticipating the time when one yami would pierce the water's crystal-clear face. After about three minutes of tense reticence, a few spikes began to sprout from the exterior of the halcyon liquid.
A ghostly pale face followed, gasping and panting for oxygen. The regal head of the ex-pharaoh appeared soon after, his expression victorious.
"Ra damn you, Pharaoh… That was completely unfair! I would have won if you didn't tickle my foot at the last second!" the sore loser accused with a sour expression gracing his beautifully pale features.
The yami in question just smiled, "All's fair in love and war."
"… Yeah, well, your mom," was the best the thief was capable of coming up with.
A short, dark-haired figure skipped up to yami at this point. "Well, Smedley, you win. Here's you prize! A twenty-four karat plastic piece of ship on a stick!" She handed Yami a golden cruise ship-shaped trophy.
He just grinned and hugged her.
She bit him on the shoulder.
Bakura and Marik found this to be downright hilarious, and made it apparent by laughing their asses off.
:-:-:
Dinner that night was peaceful and serene. Well, besides the food fight. That was a completely different story altogether. Food was being flung in every direction imaginable and landing on every poor, unfortunate soul in the Seasick Dining Room.
The maître was bitch-slapped by a lobster tail, Yuugi now has butter in his hair, Malik is busy choking on corn, 'Kura and Marik are pouring barbeque sauce down Yami's pants, Ryou is in a fetal position under the table, Jonouchi is out on the deck puking what little brains he has out, Honda is in the bathroom—getting the ice cream out of his clothing, Anzu is spouting random nonsense about friendship and pudding, and Mai and Ryuuji had enough sense to get out when Marik and Bakura had began flicking peas at Yami.
Everyone else in the room was either protecting themselves or actively chucking food around the large area.
"Just another day in the life of Seto Kaiba…" the brunette CEO thought irritably, whilst shielding his brother from the flying steaks.
:-:-:-:-:-:
A/N Bwahahaha! That was fun to write. Sorry it took so long, but I have been so busy this week. What with Encore, EOCs, field trips, Disney, my ass-backwards love life, and other crap. *Sigh* Anyhow, I don't own the phrase, "All's fair in love and war", "A twenty-four karat plastic piece of ship on a stick", or the 'Fun Times'. The first one is owned by Francis Smedley (hence Layla calling Yami Smedley) and the other two belong to Carnival Cruise Lines. Also, my friend named RFG. Thanks Paige! :D The condom thing is based on a picture I saw of a condom wrapper that had that design. It was so beautiful… So, please review! It makes me happy. :3 And remember to review or message me with your vote on yaoi or not. To yaoi or not to yaoi… The old Cubans would be my family. That's what we Cubans did on our last family cruise. We played Dominos in the library for like seven hours. Also, I'm not even sure if that's how America's Next Top Model works. I don't watch that show… Bow= front of boat Aft= back of boat. Simple enough. The salt water thing is true on Carnival ships, by the way. It's actually salty and stings like a bitch. I don't own Snow White. Jeez, how long is this Author's Note going to be? Jesus… Sweet baby Jesus! :DD
"ESTA BAILANDO~!"
~ My friends Stacey and Paige and Me.It was from a Quack! Spanish video we had watched in second hour.