Face sat in his regular seat. He knew where he was, he knew Murdock was beside him and Hannibal was in the seat in front of him. And he knew BA was behind the wheel. He pictured it all in his head, wondering if he would ever forget the images that were so much a part of his world. He hoped not.
He thought of the man beside him, his best friend and *brother*. He could smell Murdock's after shave and formed a picture in his mind. *I know he's wearing his old brown jacket and cap, he's probably worried right now. Deep brown eyes staring out the window...like he always does when he's worried. Maybe unconsciously bouncing up and down or squirming in his seat.*.
Face's thoughts went to the older man that he knew was in the seat in front of him. He could smell the familiar stench of cigar smoke, which comforted him. If he couldn't find Hannibal any other way, he could always follow his nose. He smiled to himself at this.
He could *see* Hannibal setting in the front seat, expression calm, but the pale blue eyes were always aware, looking for trouble. The Colonel always took care of his team and Face knew now wouldn't be any different. He knew Hannibal would be chewing on the cigar, thinking about the next move.
The Lieutenant heard BA grunt from the driver's seat "Which way, Hannibal?". BA always sounded like this, and Face could picture the customary snarl on the big black man's face. But BA's snarl didn't mean anything, Face knew it was an act. He heard the gold around the muscular neck banging together and this comforted him the same way that the odor of Hannibal's cigars did. He could picture the Sergeant s beefy hands gripped tightly around the wheel, his *big brother* was trying to get them to the safety of the cabin as quickly as possible.
This was his team, his family, the people that he spent every day with for the last several years. He knew their faces, their smells, their unique expressions, quirks. He knew he could never forgot the sight of the heavy bulk of jewelry around BA's neck, the piercing blue of Hannibal's eyes, or the openness of Murdock's smile. He just had to keep remembering, forming pictures in his head. He didn't want to forget what they looked like.
He also knew they would never leave him, he wasn't worried about that. The team's support and unconditional love kept him grounded.
Face was worried about other things and he admitted to himself that he was afraid of what lay in store for him. He didn't know what it was like to be blind. How was he going to learn to do anything for himself. He couldn't cook for himself, couldn't read,
couldn't even walk across a street. Heck, he had yet to even dress himself. He didn't want to be a burden to the guys.
The van continued to speed along, they were on a country road now and they roughly hit a bump. Face was so deep into his own thoughts that the bump startled him and he let out a little yelp, reaching blindly for a handhold.
He felt a hand squeeze his shoulder. "It's okay Face, it was just a pothole. We took the back roads."
Face recalled his earlier thoughts and reached out and touched the worn leather jacket that Murdock always wore. "That's your jacket."
"Yes it is, you didn't think I would leave it did you? I'd feel naked without my old friend, Muchacho."
"I just want to remember everything about you, I don't want to forget what you guys look like"
Hannibal spoke from the front seat, removing the cigar. "You won't forgot, kid. Don't worry about that. And if you do forgot, we'll remind you."
This made sense to Face, so he decided to try to get a mental picture of the road they were on. He had to begin to learn how to do this.
"What does it look like outside? Where are we?"
Murdock took back over while Hannibal listened.
"We're on a two lane country road in Iowa. We are surrounded by trees and woods. I've seen a few deer and several smaller animals. It's real pretty, Face. Every so often we pass a pasture and a farmhouse. There was a dog that tried to chase us a while back, the big guy showed how soft he is when he almost slowed to a stop because he thought the dog was going to run under the van. He made me and Billy proud."
Face heard BA give a low warning growl and the lieutenant grinned in Murdock's direction.
Hannibal laughed from his position up front, giving BA a pat on the back. "Calm down, Sergeant."
BA growled again, but Hannibal could see the smile try to break out on his face.
He grinned and put the cigar back between his teeth, thinking to himself that this almost seemed like a regular day.
About 30 minutes later, the van pulled over at the next gas station. Murdock went in to pay while BA pumped.
Hannibal was out of the van and at Face's side before he knew it.
"Come on Face, let's hit the John before we get on the road again, then we'll go in and get some snacks."
"Let me try to do it, please, Hannibal. I've been thinking. I have to learn to do some things by myself, I don't want to be a huge burden on you guys, it will be like having an infant to drag along behind you."
"Don't start this with me right now, kid. We are helping you because we want to, not because we have to. Therefore, you are not now, nor will you ever be a burden to us. I know you want to learn how to do some things for yourself, and you will. We'll work on that and you'll learn. But, please, let's not do this now, Face. You are still weak and this just isn't the time or place. It's too dangerous, kid. We are in a crowded parking lot."
"I can do it though, Hannibal."
Seeing the jaw set, Hannibal sighed and helped Face out of the van. He let go but stood within hands reach of him and told him to go for it.
Face was still a moment, then decided on a direction. He felt the Colonels hands go around his arm and pull him back.
"Five more steps and you would have been in front of the car pulling from the pump beside us. The restrooms are the other way, clear across the parking lot. Please Face, I know how hard this is for you, but please just let me help you."
Face, looking beaten and humiliated, simply nodded his acceptance.
Pulling gently on his arm, Hannibal began to lead the way to the restroom.
"That wasn't a test or a game, Face. I wasn't trying to belittle or humiliate you. I was trying to show you how dangerous it is."
"I know, Hannibal. I just thought I could tell by the noise of the cars or something. Then at least I could say I made it to the bathroom by myself."
"We'll get there, kid. Sure, you'll always need our help with some things, and we're more than happy to give it. But, we'll all help you learn how to do some things by yourself. Just hang in there."
They reached the bathroom and Hannibal led Face to a urinal, then went to one of his own. He remembered Maggie's instruction of monitoring urine output and noted that Face was doing well in that respect. Once, they were both finished, Hannibal again took Face's arm and led him to the sink to wash his hands. Hannibal had let him tend to his private business himself, noticing with some humor that not all the urine went where it was supposed to. He figured it was worth the mess to give Face a little dignity.
The Colonel decided to turn the water on himself though, he didn't want his lieutenant to burn himself.
Finally, they made it out the restroom and Face asked if Hannibal could bring him back to the Van before he went inside the store. Hannibal could see his charge was tiring, so he agreed. The walk back was slower and the older man could feel the extra weight of Face against him as they neared the van.
BA was already back in the driver's seat, so after Hannibal settled Face, he went into the store to help Murdock stock up on snacks and soda before they headed back out onto the road.
They weren't even close to their destination yet and after seeing how weak and tired Face looked, he knew they weren't going to be able to go as long as they usually did before finding a motel for the night.