(A/N: Been busy with school and figuring out what to do after graduation. But I had a really great interview for a law clerk internship today! It might work out that I don't have to go home after graduation after all! YAY! Warning: femslash in this chapter.)
Somehow, Prentiss, JJ, and the others had managed to finish their finals. Prentiss found herself, once again, piling her bags into the back of JJ's parents car late that night, December 22nd. Still, it hurt that she hadn't heard from her father. She'd hoped to have a Christmas with at least one member of her family. And JJ's, no matter how nice they were, could never replace that.
The two of them sat together in the back seat, not saying anything, exhausted for most of the ride to JJ's. Prentiss fell asleep on JJ's shoulder, snoring slightly and not even waking up when they stopped for gas. JJ got a blanket out of the trunk and leaned her friend against the window, because her arm was starting to go numb. The dark-haired girl didn't wake up.
JJ's family ordered pizza when they got home, but both of the girls were falling asleep over their plates. They were so tired that they didn't even mind sleeping in separate beds. Just as Prentiss was about to fall asleep, she thought of JJ, her tenderness, her love. As she rolled over and closed her eyes, she promised herself she'd have the courage to give the blond everything. Maybe as a Christmas present.
It was noon before the girls woke up the next day. Prentiss, up first, changed and went to the kitchen, hoping there was leftover pizza. No dice. The fridge was full to bursting with Christmas dinner trimmings, but there was nothing that would be easy to make. Then she saw a note on the counter.
JJ, your father and I are finishing our Christmas shopping today. We'll be gone until tonight. Could you polish the table settings for the dinner tomorrow night? Please behave yourselves.
Prentiss decided to go back upstairs and wake JJ. It felt like it was going to be a good day- one of the best days she'd had in ages. Outside, it was beginning to snow, a shiny white coat forming over ice and slush. She opened JJ's blinds and kissed her forehead as she began to stir sleepily. "Will you fix us something? I'm starving."
JJ smiled and poked her playfully. "Sure. Looks like you're having a good day."
"Your parents left a note saying they're shopping and will be back tonight. We have to polish some silver, and we're supposed to behave- but I don't feel like that today," she said mischievously.
They went back down to the kitchen together, and in no time, JJ was cracking eggs dug out from the back of the fridge as Christmas carols played on the stereo. As they scarfed them down, JJ mumbled, "I feel like having a lazy day. Do you want to just eat and go back to bed? Um…together?"
Prentiss thought for a minute, then nodded. She knew where this might lead. She hated the idea of exposing herself that came with any affection, intimacy, but knew deep down, JJ would never judge her. The blond washed their dishes, and Prentiss dried them, then hand in hand, they went back up the stairs to JJ's room. They cuddled, propped on several pillows, for a few minutes, then Prentiss placed her lips over JJ's in a deep and passionate kiss, hard yet yielding, probing. JJ shivered as she ran her hands up her spine and along her collarbone.
JJ gently pushed Prentiss far enough off her to look her in the eye. "Em, what…? Do you want to…um…"
Heat was rising from the dark-haired girl's chest, a warm glow that seemed to grow and spread out into her whole body.
"Yes, JJ. We'll take it slow, but I want this. I want you."
"Are you sure?"
"I love you, I'm finally ready to…I know you…don't care about my scars. You love me anyway."
JJ nodded and returned the kiss. "You're beautiful. No matter what."
The tops were the first thing to go. Unhesitatingly, JJ slid out of her tank top, so she was down to a bra and sweatpants. It was harder for Prentiss. She slowly slipped out of her sweater, glancing carefully at JJ to gauge her reaction. She had never even gotten down to a tank top in front of her before.
"It's okay, sweetie," the blond said quietly. "All I see is you, who I love."
"Whom I love," Prentiss laughed. "You are talking to an English major, after all!"
"Regardless, it's true," she said, running her hands over the girl's arms, shoulders, collarbone, and neck. Shivers of ecstasy ran through them both, but for Prentiss, it was mixed with shame. I can do this, she told herself. I want to. The next thing to come off were her jeans. After several more minutes of cuddling and assurances, she took them off, kicking them further under the covers. JJ eagerly got out of hers too.
"Can I…help you? Is it okay if I take this off?" JJ said, fingering the edge of Prentiss's tank top. "I promise you, I'm not judging you."
Prentiss lay back and let the blond take that, and eventually, after about another hour, they both were taking off their last bits of clothing.
"Are you still okay with this?" JJ asked.
She nodded. "I really want this, I just, let's take some time and relax, there's no hurry."
"Okay, Emily. Lie down and I'll rub your back, if you like." JJ worked her warm hands over every inch of Prentiss's back, working the knots out, reassuring her. After maybe twenty more minutes, the dark-haired girl suddenly grabbed JJ's hand and moved it to her own breasts.
That was the catalyst. Prentiss's mind was empty, unworried as long as they were in motion. Their hands were soft on each others' chests, then she abruptly moved so her body covered JJ's, grinding gently at first, then harder. They cried out against each other, and Prentiss grabbed JJ's long hair as they climaxed, panting.
"My turn," JJ said as their breathing returned to normal. "I'm going to blow your mind."
She started to rub Prentiss's breasts, adding an occasional unexpected tug or twist. Once she was satisfied she was sufficiently aroused, JJ suddenly asked, "Can I take these sheets off for a little bit? I have a really good idea,"
Prentiss looked at her, unsure. "Um, JJ, I'm naked. If you saw it all, you'd think I was hideous and leave."
"No, Em, I just wanted to do this," she said quietly, kissing a scar on the dark-haired girl's wrist. "I want to kiss them all. I don't care if there are a lot."
"All right," Prentiss agreed. She lay next to JJ on the large, now-bare bed, and for the first time, as JJ's lips touched all the pain she'd gone through, she gradually stopped thinking about how ugly she was and instead was overwhelmed by the sense of how much JJ loved her. She started crying, tears sliding sideways out of her eyes.
"Are you okay? Do you want me to stop? What's wrong?" JJ interrogated.
"No, don't stop. Please. I'm not crying because I'm ashamed, but because I've never had someone love me like this before. I'm amazed and happy and…"
Prentiss hadn't expected her first time to happen with her nose still running, but it did. It was very gentle, quiet, and instead of feeling pressured or made disgusting by what she'd done, the only feeling that remained was that of being loved.
Later that day, when she had a moment alone, she took her razor blades out of her bag and just looked at them, considering. Deep down, she knew she couldn't be loyal to both them and to JJ, her human love. But giving up was harder than she thought. Then it hit her. New Year's Day. I could maybe throw them out then. I don't feel ready, but I don't want to let JJ down.
Christmas with JJ's family went better than she thought; Prentiss always felt included, not pitied, and she even got a few gifts from them. Time passed quickly until their December 26 th celebration with all of their friends.
They were sitting in Garcia's apartment that cold afternoon, all drinking hot chocolate. Prentiss and JJ had to laugh; Garcia had gone Christmas-crazy, it looked as if the North Pole had thrown up in there. "I made a whole Christmas dinner, too! Reid helped, his cooking skills are improving," she squealed.
After dinner, they all exchanged gifts. Reid crowed over the books and poster Prentiss had gotten him, and JJ and Prentiss gave each other just small gifts. JJ had changed her plan. She now knew the perfect time for the rings. Prentiss also got another pair of Converse, custom colored, from Morgan, a new scarf and earrings from Garcia, a poster from Hotchner, and a self-help book and journal from Reid. She rolled her eyes, but knew the nerd meant well.
The way out was never easy, but Prentiss knew now that she was never going to have to be alone again.