I AM NOT FIXATED ON DEATH! You guys need to remember, I was suffering from major depression when I was writing this story, and I still am. Sure, I want to strangle everyone who smiles at me, because they're happy and pretty, while I'm fat and tired! …yes, I am losing my mind.
To: Ima DinoSauR so RawR n StuFF, Heeheehee, msjei09 (Oh dear goodness, that experience had to be bad…sorry my story did that to you! I'm still glad you like it though, lol), mymymy, Bat4Life, xXxBlueRainbowxXx, 2munchkin2, Songbird341 (my son's name is going to be Nathaniel Fredrick – it was going to be Fredrick Andrews, but I fell in love with the name Nathaniel.), Cprizzle, lankyafricankid, Girlygirl17, Livewritelove01, and Llama: THANK YOU GUYS FOR REVIEWING! You're wonderful!
Live Free or Let Me Die
Digidestend Angel
Chapter 4
Dead Inside
Take my life
Save me from this death inside
-Skillet
Beck came out of the bedroom in a t-shirt and jeans, with his hair still damp from the shower. He looked into his only son's bedroom and saw Cat sitting on the rocking chair, with a sleeping Julian in her arms. She was staring out the large window in an emotionless daze. He leaned against the doorway. "Morning." He said.
Cat didn't look to him. "Morning, Beck." She whispered, despair in her tone. It gave Beck a broken heart.
"I…I was thinking…we could maybe go out for breakfast with Julian this morning?" Beck suggested in a nervous tone.
Cat blinked, but didn't move otherwise. "I don't want to go anywhere."
Beck growled and stepped into the room. "Cat, I am going to eff-ing lose my mind if you won't talk to me!"
Cat looked at him with a glare. "Knock it off, Beck, you'll wake Julian." She said in a threatening voice.
"What does it matter?" Beck lowered his voice, but kept trying to pick a fight with his wife. "He won't talk to me anyways!"
"He's not talking to me either." Cat said, attempting to keep her cool as she kept rocking the chair. Beck suddenly leaned in and gripped the chair's handles to stop it rocking. Cat gasped. "Beck, what are you doing?"
"We need to talk." He growled out, and then let go harshly, walking out of the room.
Cat sighed deeply, annoyed with her husband's actions. She gently picked Julian up in her arms and put him in his small bed with the railings around it. She kissed his head and kept the door open as she went downstairs. She walked into the kitchen, where Beck was leaning over the sink. "What was that all about?" She snapped.
Beck looked to her in disbelief. "You're really going to ask me that question?"
"You're not exactly giving me straight answers here, Beck." She responded, crossing her arms over her chest.
"CAT, YOU HAVE NOT SAID ONE EFF-ING WORD TO ME SINCE THE FUNERAL!" Beck yelled bloody murder. "NEITHER HAS JULIAN!"
"We're mourning, Beck!" Cat yelled back at him, tears leaving her eyes.
"You think you're the only one who lost a son here? You think you're the only one suffering from the reality my only living son is blind for the rest of his life?" Beck asked, gripping his hair in his hands. "I'm upset too!"
Cat's hands flew into the air in exasperation. "What do you want from me?"
Beck grabbed her arms and looked her in the eyes. "I want my wife to talk to me! I want to vent to my wife!" Tears left Beck's eyes unwillingly. "I want to know how I can help you, or heal you!"
Cat shook her head, in a daze again. "You can't help me. No one can." She made Beck release her and walked out, back upstairs.
Beck rubbed his lips together and grabbed his truck keys, slamming the front door open and shut. He jumped into the truck and drove to the place that took his marriage and life away from him. He pulled over to the side of the road, and surprisingly no one was around. Who were you? Who are you? Beck wondered as he headed to the side of the hill that he once went down and the hill that killed his son. "Why did you do this to us?" Beck whispered to no one. "Why did you just in front of my car like that? Why didn't you turn yourself in? Why did you take my son from me?"
An idea suddenly came to Beck's head and he gave himself a small smile as he drove back home. "Sorry, Cat, but our family is dying out anytime soon." He muttered to himself as he drove over the speed limit, excited to get home suddenly.
Beck stopped at a floral shop, first, to pick up some red roses. He ran inside the house, glad his wife and son were in the kitchen. Cat was pouring orange juice into Julian's sippy cup. Beck gave his wife a million dollar smile, and she gave him a small one when she saw the flowers. "Oh, Beck." She whispered as she walked over to him. She wrapped her arms around his upper torso, and he did the same. He handed over the flowers and Cat took them to put them in water.
Beck walked over to Julian, who was picking at his bowl of Cheeros. "Good morning, sport." He told the 2 year old, kissing the top of his head.
Julian replied with no words.
Cat frowned as she set the roses in the window sill. "He still hasn't said anything to me either."
Beck stared at the boy for a minute. "You'll be okay, Julian." He whispered, running his fingers through Julian's bushy brown hair. "Brother loves you." Beck left Julian to his thoughts again and walked over to Cat, who was staring out the window. "Pack your bags." He said into her ear.
Cat blinked and turned to him. "What?"
Beck shrugged. "You heard me."
Cat gave him a tiny smile. "Where are we going?"
"Disneyworld." Beck said in an obvious tone. "Nathaniel would've wanted us to go still."
Cat sighed. "Yeah…yeah, he would've." She glanced to her emotionless son and nodded. "Okay." She smiled up at Beck. "Let's go."
Alright, the next chapter and so on has all the ACTION we've been waiting for! (…well, since chapter 2…)
So let's get 10 reviews again, huh? If we keep this up, I might actually have to make the story longer… No flames still. I'm so moody, depressed, happy, bubbly, and pissed all in one, and not to mention I have to pee every 6 minutes, so if you talk crap about my writing or story, it would not be pretty for me. Trust me. (See? I'm losing my eff-ing mind.)
-Digidestend Angel-
PREVIEW FOR CHAPTER 5: Gasoline
Beck took her arm with a bruising grip and tried to lead her to the front door, but the 2nd floor suddenly collapsed right in front of them and Beck covered Cat and his son, debris fell on his back, but he didn't care. Cat is NOT dying tonight! I'm not losing three sons and a wife! Beck screamed in his head as he practically dragged Cat towards the backyard.
Cat was coughing up a lung, while trying to cover Julian's mouth and nose so he wouldn't breathe in the smoky hair too much. "Beck, do something!" She screamed.
Beck growled. "Working on it!" He grabbed a chair and slammed it on the back glass door, shattering it to the ground.