"Students, please be sure you picked up a brochure on your way inside the gymnasium!" The principal of Park High School said into the mike. Half the students were sprawled on the bleachers, the other half catching up with their friends after their summer break.
"And that's it? You texted Kyle this vacation and helped out at the animal shelter?" Kenny asked Stan, the two on the top row of the bleacher, their feet up on the row ahead of them.
"Pretty much. South Park sucks, man, you know that better than anyone. That's why you skipped out of town the last two months. Anyway, what were you doing? Look at you, you're so damn brown." Stan whipped Kenny's hood off his head, revealing his blonde hair bleached even lighter. "What the fuck did you do to your hair?"
"I didn't do it on purpose. I just spent a long time in the sun this summer." Kenny shrugged Stan's hand off and pulled his hood back on.
"Yeah, doing what?"
"It doesn't matter right now. We need to talk about this more importantly. Remember when you were diagnosed as being a cynic or whatever back in 4th grade? You don't want to relapse, do you? You need social interaction." Kenny preached.
"Don't be such a fucktard, I just told you I've been talking to Kyle."
"I meant human face-to-face interaction."
"Kyle is human. And we do talk face-to-face. You ever hear of a thing called Skype?"
"Dude, it's not the same. You need to get out there more."
"What's the difference? As soon as I can, I'm ditching this hellhole to live with Stan."
"Live with Stan?" Kenny scoffed. "With his Mama Bear and little Ike?"
"No, man, I don't know yet. You know Stan got a scholarship for high school?"
"I didn't know such a thing even existed. I mean, it's supposed to be free, right? It's free for us."
"He's in some fancy prep school. But they gave him a job on school campus, at their bookstore-café thing. So he's got some good money stuff going on. We think in a year or two, he'll have enough for an apartment and we can move in together." Stan sounded proud, a smile spreading across his face as he spoke of Kyle.
Kenny observed him for a while, considered interrupting that goofy smile, and eventually decided against it. At least let someone in this godforsaken town be happy. He instead looked around the auditorium, his eyes seeking out that blue jacket and black hair he had grown familiar to avoid in the past year.
"Hey, fellers! How ya doin'?" Butters voice cut into both boys thoughts.
"Hey, Butters. What's up, my man?" Kenny greeted him heartily.
"Uh, nothing. You guy's seen Eric?"
"Cartman? Why are you looking for him?" Kenny tried to give Stan a discreet look; Stan was texting on his phone though. "Stan!" Kenny loudly brought Stan into the conversation.
"Oh, what? Sorry, I was just telling Kyle to keep an eye on New York real estate."
"Well, I'm looking for Eric." Butters repeated.
"WHY?" Kenny and Stan asked simultaneously.
"He's my best friend, ain't he? And, uh, I got a right to know where my best friend is."
"Why don't you just text him?" Stan asked.
"I would, but he was over my place last week and accidentally broke it." Butters looked down, his expression sad, that ridiculous hair cut he had falling over his face.
This time Stan turned to look at Kenny. Both boys had been with Cartman for a long time; they knew about his mean streak. "Seriously, Butters, you shouldn't hang out with Cartman so much. He's not really a good kid, you know?" Kenny started slowly, but Butters immediately snapped.
"He's my friend! If the two of you can't respect that and are gonna keep hollering like my parents do, I'm not gonna talk to you!" Butters crossed his arms and turned away. It was like the boy hadn't changed at all since elementary school. He still had that juvenile innocence. Kenny felt his childhood pities for the boy returning.
"We need to stage an intervention. Like we did with that schizo hobo who thought he was a towel. Remember?" Kenny whispered to Stan.
Stan nodded and said, "Butters, we're sorry. Just hang out with us for a while, okay? Or at least until you see Cartman again. From our vantage point, you can see everything in the gym." He patted the empty spot next to him on the bleacher.
"You fellers ain't gonna be mean about my friend, are you?"
"Nope, word of honor." Stan promised.
So Butters gingerly sat down. He glanced at Stan's phone, buzzing and lighting up with (undoubtedly) a text from Kyle. Then he started talking, "You won't believe how much fun it is finally having a best friend. I've always wanted one, you know. We do all sorts of stuff together." He said happily.
"Yeah? You spent all of your summer with him?" Kenny inquired.
"Pretty much! What'd you do?"
"Volunteering." Stan absent-mindedly told him.
"Like a low-life." Kenny added.
"What?" Stan looked up. "Dude, that's not cool. It's a good thing to do. Besides, some of those animals really needed my help."
"Newsflash, bro! You need a little bit of help, too!"
"At least I did something instead of sitting out in the sun like a lazy hobo and getting progressively darker- or lighter!" Stan whipped Kenny's hood off again.
"I was actually working my fucking ass off in the sun, thank you very much dickhead!" Kenny exploded, pulling his hood swiftly up again, defensively tightening it with the strings.
"Working?" Stan asked, taken aback.
With Butters nervously watching the boys, Kenny explained in quiet tenors, "Yeah, well, Kevin knows someone in Mexico. We went to work in his fields this summer and he gave us some free plants. Um, marijuana plants."
"Dude. This right here is pretty fucked up. Your brother made you slave in Mexico for drugs?" Stan demanded. "I mean, surely even you see why this is a problem."
"It's not that bad. We kinda have a deal with the Mexican dude. He gets 30% off the profits Kevin gets from selling the weed around these parts." Kenny shrugged.
"I see Cartman!" Butters unexpectedly and swiftly rose, hightailing off the bleachers, taking the steps two at a time.
"You see the fatass?" Stan asked the blonde, momentarily distracted.
"Nope." Kenny and Stan's eyes followed Butters as he pushed open the double doors and left the gym, Cartman still not in sight. "So. Apparently, Talk of drugs makes him uncomfortable. And yet this kid spent his entire summer with Cartman? What the fuck?"
"Don't ask me." Stan replied.
The boys did see Cartman later, in the only class all high school freshmen shared: PE. He was sitting with Wendy. And from their distance, it actually looked like he was flirting with her. Butters, of course the shadow, sat behind him, casually twiddling his thumbs and looking perpetually uncomfortable.
"Stan? Is that your ex-girlfriend with my ex-best friend?" Kenny implored, squinting his eyes from across the gym where the boys were sitting in the same place as that morning.
"Yeah, I think so." Stan was studying them too, an eyebrow raised into the red border of his cap. "Is he wearing a football jersey?" He asked, even more incredulous then Kenny's previous tone. "How the fuck did he make it on the team? They wouldn't have taken him in anything other than the defensive line."
They both watched with eager interest as Wendy crumpled up the piece of paper Cartman had handed her, threw it in his face, and walked off. A moment later, Bebe rose as well, in a short JV cheerleading outfit, and followed Wendy to the girl's locker room.
"Yup, she's still got it." Stan said, seeming a bit satisfied in spite of himself as the dark-haired student body president disappeared from view.
"Those tits? And that ass?" Kenny asked, in turn studying Bebe as she swung her indeed ample ass into the locker room. The door closed shut behind them and Kenny found Stan staring at him.
"Dude, get your mind out of the gutter."
"It's not there anymore. It's in the lockers now. Imagining Bebe. In the shower."
Stan hit Kenny in the shoulder, but both boys were laughing. For a moment, everything was good and right and Stan didn't care that the love of his life was thousands of miles away and Kenny didn't care that he was all alone in a world where his future was shit.
A/N: Hey, everyone! Hope you're enjoying the story so far! Please leave reviews!