I want to give a big shout out to everyone that has read the story so far. I want to send a special 'Thank You' to KimmieCena, AngelsDestiny22, lookitsria. Randy4rkocenahardy, Xandman216, xDarlingNikki, adb226, Sarah A and ElleEnein. You guys rock! \m/ (^.^) \m/ Here's chapter 9. Enjoy!
I turned my head towards the sound of the deep breathing beside me. Cody. Sleeping next to me, just like he had been every night since the surgery. He hadn't left my side, except one time, right before I was released from the hospital. He disappeared for a couple hours but returned with some clothes for me to wear home.
I opened my eyes to see Cody's face relaxed in sleep. He was lying on his side facing me. Close by, just in case I needed him. He had been like this since I came home. He was sacrificing his sacred time off to take care of me and I was too much of a chicken shit to tell him everything that happened. Yeah, he knew about my tube bursting but he didn't know that I was pregnant. He also didn't know that now I couldn't have children. I couldn't seem to make myself tell him about the baby. I just knew that he would hate me for what happened. I couldn't bear to see him look at me that way. I didn't think I could take it. I knew it would destroy him.
I gently rolled to my side to face him, careful of my movements so as not to tear open the two small incisions just below my belly button. I didn't want a repeat trip back to the ER. I felt so bad for everything that happened and scaring the life out of everyone. I was so grateful to have them though. Fallon and Randy, once they recovered from the shock of learning about Cody and me, had stayed as long as they could. The two of them took it better than I expected. I'm sure, if I hadn't been fresh out of surgry, I would have gotten a lecture from Fallon about keeping secrets this big from her. I'm pretty sure that at some point while I was asleep Cody got the 'you hurt her, I'll kill you' talk from Randy.
Cody's mom, Michelle, had been coming by every day to make sure that Cody was taking proper care of me and we were eating. Hell, I had either talked to or seen Cody's whole family. Even his sister, who I had only met a couple of times, called to check on me. The word had even gotten to Ted and Rebecca, who volunteered to come stay with me while I was recovering. Of course, I told her no, she didn't have to do that.
I blinked back tears as I gently traced Cody's eyebrows and down his nose with my fingertips, trying not to wake him up. I just wanted to watch him sleep. I let the tears creep silently down my cheek as I came to the conclusion that I didn't deserve him. He was completely perfect. No one in my life, minus Fallon and back when we talked more, my mom and dad, had ever cared about me or loved me the way Cody did. No matter what stupid shit happened or restriction I put on our relationship, he was right there, loving me through all of it. I was completely unworthy. I was pretty sure once he found out about the baby, all that would change. Regardless, I still knew I needed to tell him.
I quickly wiped away the tears as Cody started to wake up. I didn't want him to know I had been crying. Not that he didn't know that I had been off and on for the last couple of days. No matter how many times he asked, which would have been the perfect time to mention the baby, I couldn't seem to tell him why. After about the 10th time, he stopped asking what was wrong.
"Morning Em." Cody said, smiling sleepily at me. He cupped my cheek, moving in and kissing my nose. "How are you feeling, princess?" Now would be the perfect time...
"Better, I guess." What the hell was wrong with me? Why couldn't I tell him? I could tell Cody anything.
"That's good." I closed my eyes as he stroked my cheekbone with his thumb and kissed my forehead. "You need to take something?" He thought my closed eyes indicated that I was in pain. I had refused to take the pain medication the doctor gave me. I deserved to feel every bit of this pain. I shook my head.
"No. You know you don't have to take care of me like this Cody." He grinned at me.
"Yeah I do." He kissed me. "I want to." He stretched and crawled out of bed. He came around to my side. "You think I'm bad now, wait until you get pregnant." He placed a hand on either side of my body and leaned in, pressing a couple of kisses on my cheek by my ear. "I'm not gonna let you lift a finger. I'm gonna pamper you every single day. Just like you deserve." I bit my lip, trying to keep the tears at bay until Cody got out of earshot. I held out until I heard the shower come on.
I couldn't tell him, ever. He could never know. I couldn't do this to him anymore. He didn't deserve it. While Cody showered, I cried and made my plan. This might hurt him a little but he would be okay in the end. Me, my heart would be irreversibly destroyed, but that was what I deserve.
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay, princess? I can call Stephanie and tell her I'm sick." Cody asked me. I was sitting up against the headboard, watching him pack. He was flying out in a couple of hours.
"No, sugar. I'll be okay." He glanced over at me.
"Want me to take you over to Mom and Dad's..." I shook my head.
"No, Cody. I think I'll be fine." 'After awhile', I added silently.
"Okay." He zipped up his bag and placed it on the floor. I threw off the blankets and carefully swung my feet onto the floor. "What are you doing, Em?" I waved off his hands as he reached to help me. I stood up. I was still sore but the pain wasn't too bad.
"I wanted to hug you before you left." I let a couple of tears fall. Cody misinterpreted my tears. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me close.
"Awe, Emmy. Don't cry, princess. I'll be back Wednesday morning. I promise." I nodded, pressing my face against his neck, taking a deep breath, memorizing his scent. He ran his fingers through my hair, moving it back away from my face when I lifted my head.
"Thank you, Cody." I said softly.
"For what princess?"
"For...everything." He grinned at me, not knowing I meant our entire relationship and life together.
"You're welcome, Em. You know I'd do anything for you." He kissed my forehead. The tears were silently streaming down my face. I didn't want this moment to end. Cody and I were standing in each other's arms in the middle of our bedroom. I wanted to stay here forever. The moment was destroyed by the honking of the taxi that had pulled up in front of our house to take Cody to the airport.
"I love you, Cody. I love you so much." I kissed him. Again, he hit me with his beautiful lopsided grin.
"I love you too, Emmy. More than anything." He kissed me this time. I wanted to cling to him, keep him with me, but it was time to let him go. I stepped back away from him as the horn sounded again.
"Goodbye Cody." I said, breaking my heart in the process.
"Bye Em." He grabbed his bag. "See you in a couple of days." He kissed me quickly and wheeled his bag out the door. I wrapped my arms around myself to keep from running after him. I made myself stand in that spot till I heard the door shut behind him.
"No, Cody, you won't see me again." I said to the empty room.
I waited until later that night, after Cody called to tell me he had had made it to the hotel in Miami after RAW, which I couldn't bring myself to watch, before I loaded my bags in the trunk of my car.
I knew it was late but I called Stephanie anyway. She was the last professional link I had to sever. She picked up on the second ring.
"Hello?"
"Ms. McMahon, this is Emery Harper."
"Oh, Emery. Hey, how are you? I heard you weren't feeling well." I didn't want to have small talk with her. It would just make it harder. I just jumped right in with it.
"Ms. McMahon, I have to confess something. I've broken the conditions of my contract. I was in a relationship with one of your Superstars. And no, before you ask, I won't tell you who it is. He and I aren't together anymore. He doesn't deserve to be in trouble. Because I broke my contract, I'm resigning my position, effective immediately." Stephanine didn't say anything. I kept going before I started to cry on the phone. "I only ask one thing."
"Oh...uh...okay." Going by the tone of her voice, she was clearly taken aback by what I had just told her.
"Can you please not tell Fallon, Randy, Ted or Cody that we talked? Just tell them that I resigned and I wish them well. I'm sorry, Ms. McMahon. I'm so sorry."
"Emery...wait..."
"I can't. Thank you for everything, Ms. McMahon. I really enjoyed working for you. I'm sorry." I hung up before she could say anything else.
I looked around the bedroom one last time. Before I could stop myself, I laid my phone down on Cody's pillow beside the note I had written him and turned away. Just as I was about to walk out the door, I saw his shirt draped over the back of the chair. I couldn't help but reach out and grab it. I brought it up to my nose. Oh God. It smelled like him. I tucked the shirt against my chest and slowly made my way to my car.
I took one more look at the home that Cody and I had shared for the last two years, before backing out of the driveway and driving away. I had thought long and hard about someplace that I could go where no one would ever think to look for me. I drove about an hour outside of Atlanta before I stopped. I found one of the few remaining pay phones and dialed the very familiar number.
"Hello?" The voice that I didn't realize until that moment that I missed so much, answered. I took a deep breath. Here goes nothing.
"Hi, Momma, it's Emery. Can I come home?"
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
Cody's POV
I flipped the top on the little velvet box open and closed repeatedly as I called Emery again. I'd been calling her all day. She had left me a message late, late last night, telling me not to worry about calling her today. She was gonna sleep most of the day. I had waited till lunchtime then I called. I couldn't stand not talking to her and knowing how she was doing. I knew something had to be wrong. It was just a feeling I couldn't seem to shake. Em had sounded like she was upset or crying when she ended her message with 'I love you'.
I flicked the little box open and closed again. So what was in the box? It was a 2.5 carat, barely purple emerald cut diamond with a half carat white baguette diamond on either side, set in platinum. Yeah...an engagement ring. Before everything happened, I had a whole romantic night planned out and the cherry on the sundae of the night, I was going to ask her to marry me.
I had been working on this for a good three months. But her getting sick just pushed it back a little bit. Emery was perfect for me in every way, so waiting a few more days to ask her wasn't going to hurt me one way or the other. I smiled to myself at the thought of me giving her my name, having children with her and us spending the rest of our lives together.
I sighed when her phone went to voicemail again. I left the same message I had been leaving all day. "Where are you Em? I was just checking on you. Call me when you get this. I love you, princess." I hung up again as the worry started to take a deep hold on me. Something was wrong. This wasn't like Emery. She was attached to that phone. She'd never not answer. I was just about to call her again when I got an idea. Instead, I called my Mom and Dad's house.
"'Ello?" My Dad's typical way to answer the phone.
"Hey Dad."
"Cody! Saw the show last night, son. You and Jr. are working well together. Your characters are coming along good. So, how's my Em feeling? She up and about yet?" His normal conversation. Jumping straight from one subject into a completely unrelated one.
"That's actually what I was calling about. I've been trying to get in touch with her all day but she's not answering the phone. I know it's kinda late but do you think you and Mom could ride over to our house and check on her? She said she was gonna sleep all day but..."
"Don't worry Code. Me and your Mother are heading over right now."
"Thanks Dad. Tell her to call me. I've been worried about her." He agreed that he would and we hung up.
I paced around my hotel room for a good hour and a half before I couldn't take it anymore. I dialed Emery's phone. I let out a deep pent up breath as the line clicked, letting me know she answered. I didn't even give her a chance to speak.
"Emery! Thank God! Where have you been all day? I've been worried out of my mind about you princess. How are..."
"Cody." I stopped mid-sentence as my Dad's voice came on the line.
"Dad? What are you doing answering Emery's phone? Where is she?"
"Cody, son, I need you to listen to me. I need you to go to the airport and see if you can get a flight out tonight." Oh Christ! My heart stopped. Something WAS wrong!
"Dad, is Emery okay? Let me talk to her. Dad, please..." The panic was creeping up quick. If I didn't talk to her soon, I was going to lose it. "Dad?"
"Son...you need to come home."
Fate must have been on my side. When I got to the airport, I was still in the time frame to catch the fight leaving with in the hour. I don't even remember going through all of security or even boarding the plane. The next thing I knew, we were taxing down the runway. That flight was the longest two hours of my entire life.
Normally, the drive from the airport, home took 20 minutes or more. I made it to our house in 10. The driver got a hundred dollar tip for that. He set out my bags beside Dad's truck. I left them there as he pulled off and I ran into the house. I threw open the front door, instantly calling out for her.
"Emery? Em, where are you?" I searched the kitchen, living room, den and every room on the first floor. She wasn't there. I ran to the stairs when I heard a noise there. "Emery?" I looked up, finding Dad standing at the head of the stairs. "Dad, where is she?" He didn't answer, just looked at me. My heart started a quick decent towards my feet. "What's going on?" He sighed deeply.
"You should come upstairs, son." He turned and walked back towards me and Emery's bedroom. I quickly followed. I walked in the room. It looked exactly like the rest of the house. Neat as a pin, the way Emery liked it and empty as hell. She wasn't there either.
"Where is..."
"She's gone, baby." Mom said, standing up from where she was sitting on the foot of the bed.
"What? What do you mean she's gone?" A thought hit me, turning my stomach to a pit of ice. "Oh God. Is she..." I couldn't even bring myself to ask. Mom shook her head.
"Cody, baby, she left and I don't think she's coming back." I shook my head, still not grasping what they were trying to tell me.
"She left you a note, son." Dad pointed to my side of the bed and to my pillow. I walked over. Her cell phone was laying there beside a folded piece of paper with my name written on it, in Emery's handwriting. I had to sit down on the bed, my knees giving out on me as I started to read.
Dear Cody,
I'm sorry that I had to do it this way, but I knew if I tried to say any of this to you, it would never have come out the way I wanted it to. Besides, if I had to look into your eyes again, I never would have been able to leave. My leaving is for the best. You deserve the best out of life and I can't give that to you. I can't give you what you really need or want, so I'm bowing out. You deserve to find someone better than me. Someone that can give you everything I can't.
You are the most amazing person I have ever known. You loved me through all the drama and shit that I had and you never blamed me for any of it. I will forever be grateful. But today, that ends. As much as it breaks my heart, I'm letting you go.
I can't hold you back anymore. There is someone out there that is exactly what you need and deserve. We both know, that's not me.
I want you to know that the last three years with you have been the best, most amazing time of my life. I wouldn't trade the time we spent together for anything in the world. I love you with every ounce of my being and will love you for the rest of my life. I never meant to hold you back the way I did and I will forever regret that.
I realize now that our entire relationship was just a beautiful lie. What we had was perfect and wonderful while we had it but it was never meant for us to be. And I'd be lying to both of us if I thought that I was good enough or evn deserving of your love.
It's time for you to move on. You're life will be so much happier and more peaceful without me dragging you down every step of the way. And all I will ever want in this world is for you to be happy. Now, you're finally free.
Cody, you will forever and always have all of my love. No matter how many years pass, no one, NO ONE will ever come close to taking your place in my heart. Don't worry, this is the last you will hear from me. I won't ever bother you again. I'm sorry for everything. This is my goodbye.
Always,
Your Emery
I couldn't breathe. She was gone. She just left in the middle of the night, taking my life and heart with her. Why would she do this? What had I done to make her leave? Was it because I hurt her?
"Cody, son..." I waved Dad off. I was on the verge of breaking down and I didn't want them to be here when it happened.
"You guys should go home." I said quietly.
"Baby..." Mom started.
"Damn it! Just go!" I instantly regretted yelling at them. I dropped the letter beside me on the bed, putting my head in my hands. "I'm sorry but I just want to be by myself. Please...just go." They tried to say something about calling them. I eventually heard someone bring my bags inside and Dad's truck start as they drove away.
This couldn't be happening. I dug into my pocket and pulled out the velvet box, flipping it open and looking at the ring I had made for her. It was perfect for her and would look so right on her hand, showing everyone that she was with me. I snapped the lid shut and tossed it on the nightstand. I couldn't look at it right now.
This was wrong. This was SO wrong. Emery and I were doing fine. Hell, we barely ever fought. I couldn't figure out what she was saying in her letter. How could she not know that she was everything I wanted and needed?
Emery was my entire world, the reason I breathed. And right now, at this moment, my world was shattering around me.
/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\
I drove straight for nine hours only stopping once, right inside of North Carolina for gas. It was nearly 8am when I finally pulled into my parent's drive-way. The house looked exactly the same as it had nearly five years ago when Fallon and I left here for the last time. The only thing that had changed were the flowers in the front flowerbed.
The front door opened. They must have heard me pull up. My Mom stepped out first, wiping her hands on a dish towel. She looked just like I remembered. She had a little more gray mixed in her blonde hair but she still looked wonderful. My Dad stepped out behind her, taking off his reading glasses. He had that gray creeping up on him too. It was taking over at his temples and fading into his nearly black hair. Nathan and Caroline Harper. They looked...like home.
I gathered up my courage and climbed stiffly out of the car. I could feel the break down coming. I just prayed it didn't happen in front of them. I walked to the foot of the steps leading up to the front porch and looked up at them.
"Hi Momma. Hi Daddy." I said softly. I could feel my eyes flooding from the on slot of tears I couldn't seem to stop from coming.
"Emery, I don't know why you're here or what happened to bring you here and I don't think I really care. We're just so happy to see you." Mom held her arms open for me. "Welcome home sweetheart." I nearly ran up the stairs as the tears overflowed and ran down my cheeks. She wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight as I cried on her shoulder, Dad rubbed my back gently. "You're okay, Emmy. You're home now." I cried harder when she called me 'Emmy'. It instantly reminded me of what I had left behind. I shook my head.
"I don't know, Momma. I don't know if I'm ever gonna be okay."
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