* I love teasing, I guess this will be the hint for this chapter. Thank you so much for the reviews! I hope you enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.
Matthew's Journal, Thursday 14th.
After our stay fixing up the towns we heard news of a great pirate gathering, for some reason all three left without affecting the city in any way. There was a battle between two, it is assumed between Arthur and Antonio of Spain. A third party joined, a craze maniac by the name of Gilbert who may have fought with both, my resource is un-clear. I wonder if Alfred was on the ship and knows what happened? I hope he didn't get captured by another pirate that would be the worst. I still believe he is holding on, no matter what, I know Alfred wouldn't give up and heck he may have even made friends knowing his usual chipper personality. It would be my luck when I meet him and they make him first mate or something of the likes but that means he's alive so it wouldn't be too bad.
We're finally after Arthur's ship, I could tell Francis was uneasy about it and was worried about me, I'm sorry but this is something I need to do. He's family. I have come to the realization that I do care very much for Francis...what that means in itself is a mystery to me too but I can't help it. I will continue to grow and get to know this man, I will also grow stronger so I can get my brother back.
Francis's Captains Journal, Thursday 14th.
In the end we are going after Arthur, Matthew will be put in harms way and I fear for the worse but I will be strong. I want to get his brother back, I want Matthew to be the happiest person in the world, I will protect him to the best of my ability, plans will need to be made for the fated confrontation. I hope we will be prepared. All this seriousness is a bit too much...I think I'll go relax with a glass of wine. Then off to bed for some sleep, I don't want dark circles! Non!
Alfred's Journal away from Journal, Thursday 14th.
I've been talking to Toris lately, about things...feelings and stuff. It's weird! It's really weird! I asked what it meant when you are kissed by someone, he seemed confused by my question and stared for a while. The he finally told me that when you're kissed by someone using your tongues it means you really care for that person. It's a deep kiss that only lovers should do. I asked what it meant if they weren't lovers, again he seemed too confused to answer and I hope to God, he wasn't eyeing my slightly swollen lip. After my time with Arthur I kind of ran to Toris's room as quickly as possible then went to bed right away. I had a lot to think about.
Back to the question, he answered softly... that maybe it's an attempt to be lovers, because it's a one-sided love affair or that they are just lustful. He asked me why I was asking these questions but I played it off really well! Still, I asked what it meant to like it...you know kissing...even if the person isn't your lover. He said that those kind of acts are exhilarating but even more so when you care about the person. When you actually like the person back you feel warm and all you think about is them and their being with you. He was getting so embarrassed talking about it! Haha his face was so red!
After I got all I could out of Toris I thought back at to what I was feeling, it was weird...someone else's tongue in your mouth moving around, it's really weird. I was in shock because Artie is usually so stiff and mean that him trying to eat my face really throw me off guard. I wasn't sure what to do either, but it didn't feel bad, I felt closer to him...more then physically I mean. I could feel him, I could feel him needing and desperately trying to get something from me. Almost like he was clinging to me desperately alone, I guess when I felt that, somewhere in me wanted to comfort him, to...kiss him back...to hold him and never let go.
Did I really just write that?
Damn it! I'm so confused! Okay list time!
Arthur Kirkland: Pirate Captain.
1) He's a pirate, he's done bad things but doesn't over kill like others. He has standards.
2) Has A LOT of pride. He thinks he's so classy. Drinks tea a lot.
3) Control freak, runs a tight ship.
4) Huge eyebrows! Massive! That should be number one.
5) A fierce fighter, strong, powerful but really talented and skillful. Un-afraid to fight but unlike me can control himself. I guess that's a plus.
6) Older then me, not sure but he was surprised when I said 17. Probably in his 20s.
7) Kind of skinny, he should eat more!
8) Smart and sarcastic. Can be really mean sometimes. I think he means well though.
9) Messy hair all the time...it goes with his eyebrows in a nice way, I guess.
10) Really amazing green eyes and I guess what really gets me about the man is that spark he has. Of course there are other times when he looks cold, threatening...when we kissed his eyes also showed how lonely he is. Just writing it hurts, I don't want him to be lonely, no way!
I just don't know...even after all this, I'm still confused. I care for the man I just...well...I've never been in love before so I don't know.
Alfred's Journal away from Journal, Friday 15th.
It's messed up! It's all messed up now! He's changed back to a cold heartless freak! I tried talking to him today, just nicely, I tried to take his hand in mine just to let him know that I still do care and I want to help him. He freaked out and pushed me away. He pulled his sword out and ordered Berwald and Ivan to tie me up to the mast again. I fought as best I could and I couldn't help but stare into those pools of cold hardened green eyes. He looked at me like some horse to be broken! Like hell I will break!
I was whipped, hard. My back was open and bleeding but Toris fixed it up for me afterwards. It hurt like hell, I could feel in every whip he was trying to push me down lower, trying to make me submit. I will never do that, as long as I live. He could whip me to death and I will still stand tall. I do...feel sorry I shouldn't have left him that time, I should have stayed and tried to talk to him but what's done is done. I pity him, where ever he looks he seems so conflicted so angry, so weak. Yeah, he looks really weak this may be his way to feel like he's not. If he can whip me and control me, he probably feels he's not as weak.
I guess I really hurt him.
Alfred's Journal away from Journal, Saturday 16th.
He wont look at me and if he turns his head my direction I look away. I feel so stupid doing this trying to ignore him but I need to talk to him to set him straight without him freaking out and whipping me. I'm going to talk to Toris about this...I hope he can help.
P.s. My back hurts! Wahh!
Francis's Captains Log, Saturday 16th.
I have a plan, it will be tricky and require some careful planning but I think it can be done. I know for a fact that Arthur's favorite black market port will be having a tremendous influx of goods. It's usually around this time of year and from the past he always goes no matter what. This year should be no different. I'm thinking that we'll dock up and switch ships over to a non-navel ship to a regular sailing ship, one designed for speed. If I'm correct, which I usually am, Arthur likes to stay for a couple days, he also likes to haggle with merchants personally with a few good men at his side. He'll probably leave Alfred behind. If we sneak up we can get the boy and leave quickly. Though I did always enjoy that market myself~
Anyway, we can switch to a faster ship and catch up to Arthur in no time especially if we get some high class rowers down below. Also I do want to get to a town soon, Matthew is struggling with seeing things lately, just reading signs and what not, I'm concerned the poor thing will go blind! My love!
(Normal Point of View)
It was time Alfred finally confronted the other man, with what exactly, he wasn't sure but he knew it had to be done and for Alfred the sooner the better. He didn't bother knocking and the lock that was placed was torn out of the wall by his forceful enter. The other man turned around quickly to see the intruder, his face darkened as he recognized the blonde hair and dashing blue eyes, that held such unwavering determination. Arthur then took note that he was at the moment only wearing some dark blue pants, he was in the middle of changing and he looked around for shirt but was quickly gripped by the other.
"We need to talk." Alfred said, his more serious side showing as he closing the door.
"Like hell we do, get out! I will be lashing you for breaking my lock and touching your captain without permission." He stated while yanking his wrist free from the bruising grip.
"Arthur...what's with you?" Alfred took a step closer.
"Me? What does it matter? Leave my sights at once!" Arthur snarled.
"No!Listen, about last time!"
"I don't want to here it!" Arthur said and turned away.
"Stubborn old man! I don't care!" Alfred said and turned the other around forcefully.
"Git! How dare you! Leave I have no patience for you or what you have to say!" Arthur snapped and punched him in the jaw making the taller man take a step back in surprise.
"Th-That's a good punch, but you have to hear me out!" Alfred said and began his approach again, he looked into Arthur green eyes to not only see rage but was it fear?
"I will not! Anything you say is complete trash to me!" Arthur said making his glare grow cold.
"I know, I know...but Artie, I'm sorry. I want to apologize for hurting you." Alfred said and brought his hands up to show he means no harm as he advances closer, slowly and softly.
"Hurt me? Don't make me laugh! I was drunk, I don't even remember what happened!" Arthur explained trying to smile wickedly but it faltered with sadness .
"You're lying, you're always lying...Artie. I remember that time you were drunk you came out to see me, gave me a blanket and told me you wanted to keep me. I remember a few nights ago when we were talking in this room, happily...you were not drunk and kissed me." Alfred now had his hands on the others shoulders weighing down on him with his sharp cerulean eyes.
"Idiot! You're making it up! I would never do any of that! Now un-hand me!" Arthur yelled, his face becoming red as the memories flooded back and the pool of regret and shame filled his body.
"You did!" Now Alfred was becoming aggravated so he grabbed the smaller man by the shoulders and pushed him against the wall. "Artie, look I'm an idiot...I know that...I don't understand other people real well unless they get straight to the point. I have no idea what's it like to fall in love and I'm useless at explaining my own feelings. Still for the love of God, I cannot stand it when you have that lonely expression."
Alfred calmed down when he was explaining himself to Arthur and gazed into lost green orbs, who seemed to push him away. Arthur gritted his teeth and spit in the other man's face, hitting the boy on the cheek.
"You think being an idiot is an excuse? And what's this talk about a lonely expression are you just pitying me?" Arthur seethed.
"...Arthur." Alfred mumbled then pulled the other into a warm embrace, acting oddly mature from his usual self. It surprised the shorter greatly and he thrashed till he heard his name murmured a few more times.
"L-Let go." Arthur gasped as the hug grew more restricted.
"No, not till you understand..." Alfred said reverting to his childish tactics, Arthur tried to get his arms free but were strongly wrapped and pressed to his body.
"Understand what? That you're a git? That I'm the biggest bloody fool for letting myself-!" He stopped himself and bit his lip.
"Arthur...when I was little I lost my family...but I had my brother and I lived for him and he for me." Alfred said softly and felt Arthur tense.
"What-" Arthur was about to retort on the irrelevance of the statement when the other continued.
"I was still lonely...I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, I see it in you but so much stronger." Alfred said, still trying to keep calm and his firm hold on the other.
"So you see y-yourself in me and pity me? Great, Alfred, just great." Arthur snarked.
"N-No! I can tell you are dealing with so much more! You're so lonely! I think you're amazing for staying so strong for making something of yourself and not giving up. It made me look up to you, admire you, care for you, want to support you. Even when you have a sour attitude, you're cute...when you laughed a genuine laugh... I was actually really happy. I wanted to hear more." Alfred said trying not to become hysterical, when he felt that Arthur was no longer struggling he slowly loosened to see the smaller man in a look of awe.
"Y-You..." Arthur started but was cut off by a bittersweet smile from the other.
"Like we both know...I'm an idiot who's never experienced love before so...when I have all these feelings I don't know where to place them. Would these feelings be considered love? I thought I'd be best to ask the person himself." Alfred said and smiled at the shorter blonde this time a little more cheerily.
Arthur felt something catch in the back of his throat and his face become hotter, he pushed the other roughly and pointing to the door yelled at the other to leave at once. Alfred blinked in confusion but slowly backed away then turned and left the room. Arthur finally let his body collapse to the ground and he gritted his teeth as tears pooled down his cheeks. He hated every second of it. He hated how in the end he couldn't break Alfred, how the spark in his eyes never faded and how no matter what he did he knew how to worm his way into the others heart.
He couldn't trust people not now after only being left all his life, Alfred was like the others he may care for him now but he'll grow to hate him eventually right? How many times has he whipped the boy? How many times has he made him bleed and shake under his whip? He chained the man down and tied him up, yet the idiot blonde still smiled at him like that?
The day after was quiet for the two, but Alfred couldn't help but stare at his captain every once in a while, he couldn't read the defensive atmosphere around the other. Alfred grumbled when he didn't get his way and continued to work on the ship with the others. That day he challenged Ivan to another spare, Alfred had to release some stress and Ivan was always up for punching the smug man.
The went for hours, hitting each other a few times, landing equally damaging blows to the body. They try to catch the other and bend their arms back or fling the other across the deck, mercilessly they tried to crush the other but to the others watching they looked as if they were buddies enjoying a brawl, the two had smirks on their faces as they battled it out, Ivan's being more sadistic in nature. Alfred loved the feeling, the rush, he needed to to sweat and move and fight with all his might till he couldn't anymore. He respected Ivan in this regards.
"You are slow today comrade." Ivan mention and with quick blow to the gut that sent Alfred to his butt.
Alfred got up quickly and went in close to battle the Russian who caught his fist in mid-air. Alfred tried to jerk it back but decided to jump up ignoring his fist palmed in Ivan's hand and use his legs to land a solid hit to the others jaw. The impact made Ivan let go of him and stumble back, but Ivan was a tough man, it was going to take more then some ariel moves to take him down. The two continued to fight till the sun was setting, both drenched in sweat, arms hanging low, panting heavily trying to gauge how much energy the other had left.
After a moment of silence, Alfred stood up straighter with a smirk, he walked over to the Russian who eyed him suspiciously. Alfred brought his hand out for a hand shake and gave a nod.
"I think that's enough for today? Don't you think?" Alfred asked still trying to catch his breath.
Ivan scoffed at the other but took his hand, both gripped the other tightly. "Till next time." Ivan said with a sickeningly sweet smile and left to his bunk.
"What a freak."Alfred said then held onto his now sore stomach; what was he supposed to sleep on tonight with his back so sensitive and now his stomach sore? He chuckled to himself knowing he'd figure something out and went to the cell to quickly wash then join Toris for dinner. He looked to his captain's cabin and let out a sigh of irritation. He wondered if things would ever be fixed between them, he really wanted them to talk again, like before.
Drama, sexual tension...sorry it's for the big moment later on. Anyway, thanks for reading and reviewing, more to come.
Besides Toris, Ivan is probably his only friend, when I think about it. Ivan helps him relieve stress and for the most part they respect each other.