A bit of a shorter chapter then the rest. Thank you for all the reviews, i'm glad you guys liked the last chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia.

When the sun rose again to start the morning as it has always done so too did Alfred awake. Despite the tiring night his body never forgot when to wake up, he slowly sat in and peered around the room. His eyes held a blank gaze and he kept his stoic expression on as he got up and left the room to get ready for the day. He went down to the cell and finding a bucket of water he cleaned himself off as best he could. He spaced out while he was rinsing off and let out a sigh before putting on some clothes. He then left for the kitchen where he found some bread, taking a small loaf he made his way back to Toris's room where he simply sat down and held his head in thought.

"A-Alfred...you're up? How are you?" Toris asked sitting back up in his bed and eyed the man on the floor eagerly.

Alfred glanced at the man then back to the bread, his face remaining abnormally sullen.

"I'm fine, just want to get to work." He said dryly and took a bite out of the bread.

"Are you sure? Did something happen with you and the captain last night? Did he whip you are hurt you?" Toris asked growing more concerned and noticed Alfred closing his eyes tightly and shaking his head.

"No, Toris don't worry about an stop asking." Alfred said rather sternly, glaring at the half eaten bread in his hand , not wanting to look at Toris at the moment.

Toris shocked by his behavior decided to stay silent for now. Whatever happened last night upset Alfred so much that he suddenly changed personalities. After a few minutes of awkward silence Alfred decided to get up and start his work for the day, leaving Toris alone to his maps and books. From then on Alfred quickly and quietly went to work, he did not smile nor talk to anyone. He only nodded when he was asked to do something, and went to go do it with out a fuss or complaint.

Arthur awoke by noon, his body was tingling and his mind was groggy. He threw off the blankets and looked to see his body was completely naked, he got up the looked back at his bed to notice that their were blood stains. He held his head over his mouth as he was brutally reminded what evil he did the night before. He felt his body convulse and he dry heaved a bit before going to his closet. He leaned on the doors for a moment and inhaled sharply through his nose as he opened them up to get dressed for the day.

Toris came by and delivered his breakfast, which allowed him time to sit and think about the events prior to his treacherous act. He slammed his fist down on his desk as that stupid smirk of Gilbert's popped unpleasantly in his head. The night. The drinking. Being drugged. Seeing Alfred and his brother. Then losing it completely. He remembered bits and pieces of last night, the feelings, the sight of Alfred underneath him, it was still all so blurry, he remembered feeling on top of the world then satisfaction. Now all he feels is remorse and regret.

Sitting on his bed but not touching the blood stains he wondered what Alfred would be feeling right now, maybe he hated him. Arthur felt sick to his stomach thinking about it, he would hate him, if he were Alfred he would hate his guts beyond all imagination. What if he cried in shame and hate because of what he did? He covered his mouth again as his stomach began to feel nauseas. He held it back and tried to remind himself on what plans he had now since he was leaving.

Trying to clear his head he took out a roll of paper and scanned it quickly along with some notes from Toris. The ship was low on food and water, they need to go resupply but the next friendliest port was a weeks worth of sailing away. He bargained if they rationed their food well enough they would be able to make it for a week, a very stressful week. He sat in silence contemplating all that's happened and what needed to be done and just wanted to crawl back into his bed and sleep, but the bed was too good for him. He just wanted to get clean but he knew all the water in the ocean couldn't rid the stain that is his whole body. He let out a sigh in frustration when Toris tapped on the door and walked in.

"Toris...How is he?" Arthur asked softly, timidly as he tried to look casual adorning his red hat on his head.

"He? ...Alfred? Well, he's quiet sir, very unlike himself." Toris said as equally softly and watched his captains expression grow dark with worry.

"I see...anything else?" Arthur asked trying to find some papers on his desk to look at, but couldn't help but look at Toris who eyed him pitifully.

"...If I could put it into words, I'd say...broken, sir." Toris said and took the tea plates and walked out the door to leave his now bewildered captain alone.

After regaining his head, Arthur left to go command the ship in a sort of daze. He went straight to the wheel and steered the ship while observing the lower deck, he would see Alfred walk by once in a while and it could be said that he did not smile nor talk to anyone. His moves were rather robotic in nature and Arthur felt all the guilt accumulate into the pit of his stomach and he began to feel nauseas again. He fought through the feeling and was able to instruct Toris on the new food distribution plans and guiding the ship safely past any dangers.

Still his eyes set out to the sea but he could only think and grind his teeth in remembrance of that night, he had to talk to him, but what should he say? Sorry, he was drugged, drunk and emotionally unstable, it's okay right? Like that would happen.

As the day progressed and not a sound came from the usually bright and cheerful boy, Arthur gripped the wheel and finally came to his conclusion. It hurt so bad to know that Alfred was no longer Alfred and it was his fault. He decided the moment they get to shore he's letting Alfred free, that is if he doesn't just run off. It's been astounding how many times the man had chances to escape and just run but he never did. He was an idiot of man, if he wasn't so dumb he wouldn't have stayed, he wouldn't have changed Arthur and Arthur wouldn't have hurt him. In the end Arthur could smile grimly and think this was all this stupid idiot's fault.

No, it wasn't. Arthur fell for the man the first gentle touch he received from him when he bandaged his side, it felt safe and warm. From then on it was denial and from there a fear of losing him, being pushed away, then obsession. The drugs in his drink didn't help and the fact that Alfred was smiling so happily at someone he probably loved more then Arthur himself let loose the beast.

He wanted to throw up and fall to the ground, then sob till his eyes couldn't produce anymore tears, he wanted to throw a tantrum and be held like a child. He could not, would not do any of it. He held the wheel tightly and kept his face straight ahead to over look the sea, and stared off as his body gave shakes and quivers wishing to relax. Not the whole day, did he let it go, he thought bearing the pain he was feeling now was only a small part of what Alfred was feeling.

Thinking clearly the best situation right now would to just let Alfred go, but a part of Arthur wanted forgiveness. He wanted a re-do but knew that was too childish a dream.

He went to bed that night sullen and cold, he took the sheet off with the blood but found that it blood through to the mattress underneath. Sickened he gather a few clean blankets and a pillow and slept on the floor. A deserving place for him to sleep he thought.

Matthew's Journal, Wednesday 20th.

I honestly cannot fathom the depths of Alfred's stupidity, I have no idea what he's planning. Well, I do in a sense but it's so vague only Alfred himself can figure it out. I talked it over with Francis, I gave him the piece of paper Alfred gave me and he stormed off to radio a navy base stationed a week and a half away from this black market island. Then he came back and I remember clearly him saying:

"That Alfred is crafty but a loyal man, Matthew! It seems he wants the navy to come ambush Arthur when he docks next and from the notes here it seems that the ship is also running low provisions. I had no idea the man had it in him to think so cunningly! Mon cher! This is amazing!"

I absolutely had no idea my brother would be so cunning too and it did make sense but there was one problem, Alfred said over and over to me that he cared for someone on that ship. If he cared for that person allowing for a navy ambush would be the worst possible thing he could do for that person, who ever it may be. The navy has been chasing Arthur's ship for years now and they are determined to have him and his crew hanged, all of them. So I still don't understand? I tried to explain it to Francis and he seemed puzzled too.

"Maybe...he was lying? He can get off because he was just a prisoner not an actual member of the crew but I assure you all of them will be hanged, publicly even."

Now, I'm really confused, Francis already called the navy station and they are heading on their way to get ready for the battle so I can't stop that. Was it supposed to be a secret and I just try to meet him there? And for what reason? It doesn't make sense...He was so earnest and he really looked like a man in love. Real Love. Well, as Alfred would say I would just have to wing it and see what happens, I just hope he doesn't get hurt in the process.

-well one flaw...is that how would Alfred know he was going to meet his brother? I'm just going to bs it and say he had a feeling, like a connection. Another card I could use was that Alfred was looking for an official type person when he was out to give the letter to and just didn't find them and was luckily able to find Matthew. It's weird I have all this stuff planned out perfectly but I forgot to add some common sense, sorry!