I wake up, eyes lined with pain and face still glowing a bright red. I had woken up many times that night, I lay there just thinking about the short time that I've been here and that although the good has definitely outweighed the bad, there have been some very shitty moments. Maybe it's like the three day (or in this case week) hump where if you can get over that you know you're gonna make it just fine. I reckon that yesterday was the worst, by far, at least it's kinda over now…maybe…not likely…no it's not really over at all just thinking that makes me a little happier and I actually think that I'm not being totally irrational.

Sometimes when I woke up I'd think that I've only known him a week and so it's not really that much of a loss, in reality from watching the show I've known him much longer and he's known me much longer too (as I did in fact ask Kakuzu about the whole spying thing and it actually happened, Sherlock Abi strikes again!). I'm not talking about waking up like Bella from New Moon pure howling into a cushion because someone left me, true that I do feel the 'void' she's going on about but you just get on with it and you can't even say it's because Hidan's not immortal and handsome because he is. If I can handle it, so can she. Do you think she actually realises the fact it's a dream? You think she'd know when she goes to sleep that after the 50th time she has this dream that it is JUST A DREAM!

I try to avoid standing on all of the wrappers which litter the floor in a kind of bizarre flooring design made up of galaxy chocolate, McCoys crisps and crumpled boxes of strawberry flavoured pocky (my favourite). Huge two litre bottles of coke line the bed like sentinals, almost like a little picket fence…but made out of coke bottles with a few Pepsi ones thrown in there as well. T.V. still on the title screen of the last film we watched, Interview With A Vampire which put me in a semi-good mood before I went to sleep. Despite the fact I was in a chocolate coma that sleep did not last for long.

Zetzu shuffles his arms to encapsule me in a warm hug, his hands stroking my face affectionately while he tries to tilt my head to look at him. I don't want him to see how hurt I am, I managed to make sure that he stayed asleep while I was awake in the night so hopefully he thinks I'm all over it now.

"Abi-kawaii?"

"Yeah?"

"Some of the guys wanted me to tell you that they totally understand if you don't want to come to lessons today. Yeah, me being one of them. You're not in the best mental state you know."

"No, I'm going to go and teach, I will not show Hidan that he has affected me so." I punch the air trying to make myself sound a lot more confident and happy than I really am.

Past the façade that I'm attempting to put up my heart still feels like it's shattered into a million pieces and the million pieces have been dipped in acid and are now slowly melting in an infusion of vinegar and aerosols. Which hurts. Giving Zetzu the thumbs up I crawl out from under the duvet and notice for the first time the blue vase on my petite white dresser, hues of purple and green shine from the brightly coloured petals of the daisy's and roses perched in the vase. Turning immediately to Zetzu eyebrows knit together as he shrugs his shoulders before clambering out of the bed and walking over to me.

"I picked them for you. I know how much you like to get flowers so I thought you'd like some."

"Oh I do Zeztu thank you. They really are beautiful."

"I am actually going to kill that b*stard for what he did to you." His black side growls

"It's not that bad Zetzu really, I'm like totally over it now."

"Then why are you still speaking in a dull monotone voice and why are they're tears in your eyes. I'm a spy, I notice things, it's what I do. The rest of the base are going to notice it too so there's no point in you putting up this façade."

"Can't I at least try?"

"Well you could but I severely doubt that anyone will buy it, in fact do it because it will make more people want to kill him which is much much better."

"I can't win can I? Sometimes I wonder why he did it you know, but other times I think , heck I don't want to know."

"He tried to come in again last night but I fended him off, he was trying to feed you some line about how he needed to sacrifice her and he 'will even show you the f*cking c*nt's body' if it means you'll forgive him and take him back."

"It's a good job that you didn't wake me up, I probably would have taken him back if he had said it to me himself. I've heard it now and over breakfast I will be picking tiny little holes in his proposition. By the way, can we go and have some breakfast now? I'm so hungry."

"'Course."

A little bit of adrenelin rises in my system as I realise that Hidan could be in the living room so feeling like a bit of an idiot I tell Zetzu to go and scout ahead for me, waiting in the corridor was the longest waiting period of my life (well apart from waiting to be born, that took ages!). All the while my blood pressure kept going up and up until it was nearly sky high, Zetzu came back and told me that he wasn't there and that Leader is speaking to him in his little creepy mausoliem thing. Now all I have to contend with is everyone else, which is equally as hard.

Meandering into the living room I look at the floor and only the floor, focusing on finding little things to amuse my brain until Zetzu returns with a bowl of alphabet cereal, I hear Tobi run after him into the kitchen and begin very loudly to talk to him about me, whether I'm ok and if he can come and talk to me or not and if I needed a hug. I do need a hug I think to myself. Slyly I glance upwards to see who's here and I'm met with what seems like millions of eyes staring back at me, I think practically the whole base is here apart from Konan who is still off on her mission, Leader and Hidan who are having private cahoots.

Kisame and Dei-Dei seem to be discussing the possibility of coming over to say hello, I really do want someone to come over but I really don't want them to see how beat up I am about what's happened, probably because they'd murder Hidan and more likely that I look a complete state and I don't want them seeing my face messed up. Yeah, both of those are pretty good reasons. Much to my happiness they do decide to come over, Dei-Dei perches next to me on green cordroy, cushions on the sofa bending beneath his weight and Kisame sits on the worn coffee table in front of me.

"Hey Abi-kawaii un." Dei-Dei coos taking my hand in his own

"Hey." I croak

"You sound awful, no surprise really since we heard you crying from three in the morning to about five. Seriously Abi-kawaii he's not worth it, he's a little s*it and he knows that he was lucky to even have the prospect of having you as a girlfriend." Kisame states matter of factly running his hand through a shock of blue hair, standing up on it's end like it's been electrified.

"Thanks Kisame, I thought that I sounded better after a couple of hours sleep."

"I'm sorry Abi-kawaii, if I hadn't fought with Hidan yesterday he wouldn't have been so pissed to go and sleep with someone un."

"It's not your fault Dei-Dei, Hidan chose to do what Hidan chose to do, it's his fault and no-one elses. I just hope that he's coping o.k. with it." I contemplate what Leader may be talking to him about and conclude that it could be nothing good

"That's a load of crap and you know it." Itachi purrs, slipping into the conversation like date rape drugs into a glass of southern comfort, something unwanted and unpleasant.

"Itachi how about you just leave her alone, you know she's been through a rough time." Kisame warns

"No it's fine Kisame, if Itachi wants to voice his opinions let him doesn't mean I have to listen and doesn't mean I agree with you. Oh, by the way Itachi, if you're planning on saying something clever I'd stop right about now."

"Why?"

"You know whatever you say I will not be able to take you seriously when you are dressed in pink bunny rabbit pyjama's, where the hell did you get those from? You're MOM?" I giggle as

Watching as his face turns from a cocky self loving expression into one of sheer horror as he turns to everyone in the room, growls then storms out slamming the door behind him. I hear Sasori and Dei-Dei do an air high five while the rest of the group just kind of sit there in silence, not knowing whether to take what they just saw as reality or as a weird kind of dream that we were all having. I ask Sasori how he did it but he just tapped his nose knowingly causing a little echo from inside his hollow body to echo around the room. Sooner or later everyone has a laugh about it, even Zeztu who has returned with my bowl of cereal.

I sit there and devour the whole bowl wondering many wonders but top wonder on my list of wonderous wonders is the wonder of 'I wonder who is going to be my Romeo now?' and the wonder on my list of wonderous wonders is answered by the simple word which flowing out of my brain like something that…well flows out of your brain, something on the tip of your tongue…something that seems totally second nature to you that you didn't even have to wonder about it for too lond and that word is 'un'.