It had been some time since I had joined the Akatsuki, three months had passed by and things had settled down into some sort of normality, it seemed as though everyone had some sort of mental break down when I first came here and started to basically make my life a living hell. They didn't mean to of course, but they did. Now I was glad to say that things had calmed down.
I had been going out with Zetzu for the past few months and it had been amazing, and it was still amazing now in fact, we were planning on going out for dinner tomorrow night. The only thing I was sad about changing was that I was no longer teaching the members English, I was in fact being taught by the members about how to become a good ninja. Sad to say that I am doing quite a good job at it, I even have my own form of special ability that means I can stay with Zetzu as my partner. My special ability, a bit like Mystique from the X-Men, is to change my appearance to anybody that I wish to, at any moment I wish to as well.
Right now I sat in my room, playing with the corner of my duvet and waiting for my training to begin, I woke earlier than usual and had been ready for a good half an hour, of course I was excited, I was about to undergo my daily physical training with Kisame, one of the strongest members of the Akatsuki, and even though I suspect he kind of goes easy on me, it's still a really good time to have a talk. Surprisingly.
Suddenly the brief rap on my door interrupted my thoughts and I tightened the bandage around my palms before I opened it with a large smile, seeing Kisame always made my day a little bit better. He had become a really good friend and was there for me when I needed him the most, when one day Siobhan went out on a mission with Deidara and only Deidara came back. As harsh as this sounds, he was probably more upset than I was, after all when Siobhan began to become more and more interested in Itachi we spent less and less time together. We only really saw each other at meal times.
'Hello Abi-kawaii, are you ready for our training session?''Of course! I'm always excited for our sessions; I'm totally going to beat your ass this
time! Don't go easy on me!'
'Sure you will, and I am hurt, I never go easy on you, you're getting really hard to beat now, Leader's very pleased with you.'
I bite my lip, there is always one question that I have never asked, I probably already know the answer to this question but I hope that the answer I have in my head isn't the answer that they are using as an excuse. Leader sent Siobhan off on a mission a month ago, why haven't I had the chance to go out yet? As much as I'm frightened of what might happen, I want to do it, I want to see what it's like out there and it annoys me that I haven't been able to get out and about yet.
Kisame waves a hand in front of my face, it seems as if he has noticed that I seem a little irate today, and I hope that the work out will help me burn off some of the anger, it normally does.
'Hey, Abi-kawaii, are you alright?'
'Huh? Oh yeah, I'm okay, just a little annoyed about something.'
'Do I even want to know what that something might be?' Kisame asked, a hint of tentativeness in his voice almost as if he is worried I might bite his head off or something if he says something wrong.
'I'm just worried about why I haven't been sent out for any missions yet, after all, Siobhan got to go out ages ago…'
'Do you remember what happened to Siobhan? She got blown up?'
'Of course I remember what happened!' I snap
Watching as Kisame slinks away behind me I sigh softly and turn to him, my hair tied up in a high bobble so that it doesn't get in my face while I train, and I smile, a strained smile, but a smile none the less at him. It seemed to appease him for a while and Kisame grins back moving forward and seemingly ignoring the topic, sighing again I frown and make a note to ask someone else about it later. My own thesis about why becoming more and more likely.
Cold tiles lie beneath my feet as I open the door to the training room, smiling lightly I take off my leather jacket and drop it on the floor, shuffling slightly to the middle of the large mat in the center I'm glad that there is nobody else in here using the room today. I still get a little bit self conscious about people watching me, especially while I train. Kisame chuckles lightly, seemingly at my eagerness and he steps up next to me, tilting his head to one side he asks wordlessly who was going first and I motion for him to begin.
There was a strong kick to my chest and I almost stagger backwards but I bring my arms up in a cross, protecting my chest, the best way to fight someone like Kisame is to let them tire themselves out, their chakra although large is not limitless, and if I managed to wait it out long enough he would soon tire then I could make my move to bring him down. While I was thinking Kisame her brought his samhada up and slashed it through the air at me, I jump over it but leave myself open for attacks as I come back down through the air. Growling a little at my own mistakes I let my feet touch the ground then I spin my steel cards out in a rapid attack, flicking my wrist to send them slashing against Kisame's skin. He obviously hadn't been expecting this and grunted a little in surprise but he soon dodges the attacks and comes speeding towards me, slipping my leg forwards I bend under his extended fist and whack him hard in the back with my fist. More luckily than anything it connects with his spine and he shivers, staying still for a moment as he is stunned by the contact, then I leap and give him a high kick to the head, which sends Kisame to the floor.
I stand there momentarily. Looking at Kisame and just blinking. Did I actually just win?
'Kisame? Are you okay?'
A small groan coming from him suggests that I did in fact win, and I feel a large smile tugging on my cheeks! They had to send me out now they just had to! It took a lot to beat Kisame but I had done it…maybe I had just gotten lucky, but I had done it and there was no taking away the pride that I felt growing in my chest. Unbeknownst to me my chest had actually swelled with pride but I make my way over to Kisame and kneel down next to him, stroking his hair softly.
'Did I hurt you really badly anywhere?'
'No, I just can't believe it…you're finally ready to go out with Zetzu…'
Then, I don't feel so happy any more. The way that Kisame says that I am able to go out with Zetzu now makes me think that there's something wrong with it, that there's something that I don't know about the missions that the members go on that would make them even more dangerous than I had first thought. Kisame looked tumultuous. A different mix of emotions swirled around his face, he was proud, that much I could tell, but he was also upset…and I think that there might even be a hint of fright mixed in with his eyes that shakes me.
'Well…what's wrong with that, isn't this the moment that you've been preparing me for? Shouldn't you like, be happy or something? Or is there something that you're not telling me…'
'No no, I am happy for you, I know you've been frustrated, you've wanted to leave the base and I don't blame you…I just…'
'What is it? Come on you can tell me anything.' I smile softly at him, as he shifts to stand up next to me instead of lying down on the floor
'Zetzu isn't strong enough to protect you if anything goes wrong. We don't want you to leave, you could get hurt, or even worse, get blown up like your friend, then where would we be?'
There it is. That's the reason. I know that you guys have come to like me, even get a little bit too attached to me than you really should but this is what you brought me here for, if I wasn't going to be able to do this job then why did you bring me here in the first place? If I don't go out and do this I might as well just be a girl who sits around and eats your food! This is what I have been waiting for, and I was going to get out of this base and do what it was I was brought here to do, and make all of the members proud of me.
Clicking onto what Kisame had also said about Zetzu I frown and move to lean against one of the walls, my muscles are aching a bit but it's nothing a warm shower wouldn't fix. How could he say that? Strength isn't everything and even though he might not be high up in the ranks of the Akatsuki he knew how to take care of himself, and he, more than anyone here, would protect me above anything and anyone else, even himself. Once again my expression gives me away and Kisame holds his hands up, smiling softly, it is sweet the way that he cares so much about me, and about what might happen to me. But I'm almost 17 now; I don't need to be babied.
'You'll be fine Kisame, the Akatsuki can find another girl like me no problem and then you will be exactly where you were before I got hurt, or died.'
'How can you say something like that?'
Kisame this time looks more angry than upset and I blink a little, startled, this only increases when he gets up and he moves towards me to stand directly in front of my line of vision. I know instantly that I have said something really wrong, and that it had upset Kisame, I didn't quite know what though, everything I had said had been true, there were millions of girls in this world and mine who would love to be in my position, it wouldn't be hard to find a replacement.
'What? What did I say wrong?'
'You know damn well that I care about you, now just because you're going out with Zetzu that hasn't gone away, none of our feelings have, and you're my close friend Abi-kawaii, so if you…if you…if you don't come back from a mission I will never get you back. None of us will. We don't want you to go because we don't want you to be hurt, and more selfishly, we don't want to lose you.'
I blink a little bit more and I look at Kisame, he seems to be struggling to restrain himself from hitting the wall and I think about what I had just said, it did in fact seem to be a little bit harsh, a bit too harsh in fact and now that it had been pointed out to me a large stabbing feeling of guilt creeps into my stomach and I bite my lip softly. It is something I try not to think about, I try not to think about the other members, my friends, having to cover their feelings for me, I just assume, like usual, that if they weren't there on display they weren't there.
Descending into my thoughts even more I think about all the times that I could have hurt someone because of what I said to them, or joking about the way they used to feel about me. Totally oblivious that they still might feel that way.
My work as a spy must be in serious jeopardy as Kisame came over and hugged me tight, he seemed to be annoyed at himself, maybe for ruining my momentary happiness about being able to go out on the field, maybe because he had instantly made my life more complicated, and maybe he had realised that now I was feeling guilty for everything I might have carelessly said to other members, especially him and Deidara, about my relationship with Zetzu, and their 'old' feelings for me.
'So…at least now you know why it's taken you so long, compared to Siobhan. So, please don't be angry at us any more.'
'I'm sorry Kisame…I really am…'
'Don't be sorry, it's not your fault, Zetzu's a good guy…plant…whatever you call him he's a good one, will you just promise me one thing?'
'What's that?' I sniffle
'Promise me that you'll be safe, please.' He asks, his voice cracking a little bit, which causes a lump to come to my throat and I gulp softly to get rid of it, before nodding my head into his chest.
"I promise Kisame. I promise.'