Chapter 5: Free Falling
It was a weird feeling, being in a small, box-like room. I was standing in the middle, facing a glass window in one of the walls, giant head phones in my head, a microphone hanging from the sealing in front of me and the text to Free Falling in my hands.
Of all the songs in the whole world, why did they have to pick a song with vampires in it! I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself. We had chanced some of the lyrics to fit a girl singing, and I had do concentrate on the text. Stupid, always everywhere vampire.
"Ok Bells, you can do it," I muttered to myself.
On the other side of the window, Mr. North and Christopher sat behind a massive sound mixing table. They were making the final adjustments, and I could feel myself getting more and more nervous by the second. The band had recorded this song a week ago, and now it was my turn. I felt like a test, would I pas?
"Ok, are you ready Bella?" Christopher said into a microphone on his side of the window, his voice sounding a little twisted inside my head phones. I looked up, and nodded. The music started, and the sound was amazing. I counted the beat in side my head, then started to sing:
He´s a good boy, loves his dad a
Loves jesus and america too
He´s a good boy, crazy bout living
Loves football, and his girlfriend too.
Its a long day living in Reseda
There´s a freeway running through the yard
And Im a bad girl cause I don´t even miss him
Im a bad girl for breaking his heart.
And Im free, free falling
Yeah Im free, free falling
All the vampires walking through the valley
Move west down Ventura boulevard
And all the bad girls are standing in the shadows
All the good boys are home with broken hearts
And Im free, free falling
Yeah Im free, free falling
Free falling, now Im free falling, now I´m
Free falling, now Im free falling, now I´m
I wanna glide down over Mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothing
Gonna leave this world for a while
And Im free, free falling
Yeah Im free, free falling
The music ended, and I felt the adrenalin pumping through my body, making me feel alive again. I didn´t know how the whole song went, so some places in the song, I had just improvised. I hoped that Mr. North and Christopher didn´t mind...
Oh my god. I felt myself blush furiously. I had completely forgotten that someone was watching me. I had just lived in the music! I looked up, and I could see Mr. North smiling like a child on his birthday, and Christopher shaking his head. He looked up at me and made a motion for me get into the soundbooth.
"So, how was I?" I asked shyly as I opened the door to the soundbooth.
"Listen and judge for yourself," Christopher said and hit a button.
I was socked. The voice flowing from the speakers, was so soft and full of emotions. It was a low voice, with a "hoarse" sound to it, and it was beautiful. And it was my voice. Something about me was beautiful. I couldn´t help it, I started to cry. It was Jake that had led me to this, to show me that I was beautiful, and I had hurt him and left him. I didn´t deserve this.
"What´s wrong Bella?" Mr. North asked, looking worried. I just shook my head, listening as my voice wove into the band, making the song complete.
Then, the song ended, and there was silence. I felt to sets of eyes on me.
"I never thought I could be good at anything. I never..." My voice broke and shook my head again, unable to continue. Mr. North got up from his chair, walked over to me and lead me to it so I could sit down.
"Bella, that´s the most wonderful thing about you. You are extremely talented, but that´s not why you wrote that song you sung last night, or why you sung this song in a way I have never heard it before. You do it because you need music. I may be old, but I´m not stupid. You have been hurt really bad in the past, and music is your way to heal."
He lifted his hand and brushed away a tear from my cheek.
"You are beautiful in so many ways Bella, and even more so because you think you´re not. You have an amazing talent, your voice contains that little something. And, you have heart in your music."
Mr. North put his hand on my shoulder, and his black eyes looked straight into mine.
"And that, Bella, that is what Chriss and I want. People that love and need music. Never loose that Bella, never. If you decide to stay with us, we will help you keep that part of your music."
I felt a warmth spreading through my body, just like the adrenalin had done a moment ago. I smiled at him, and dried away the last of my tears with the back of my hand. He understood me. More so than I even understood myself right now. Me was right, I needed music to heal. And I really loved it, the feeling I got when the music took control of me and I felt like I could do anything.
"Thank you," I whispered, and seeing Christopher´s worried face, quickly added: "Sorry, I didn´t mean to go all weepy on you. I usually have a better grip on myself. It has just been... a lot this last months." Mr. North grinned at me.
"No worries Bella. You did an phenomenal job in there," he said, looking at Christopher. "Wouldn´t you agree Chriss?" Christopher shook his head, like a dog thad had gotten water in it´s face. It looked like he had been in some kind of trance.
"You are just perfect!" he blurted out, then he looked a bit shocked at his own outburst. Mr. North laughed out loud, as both Christopher and I blushed.
"That´s what I like about you Chriss, you know how to say things, and you always think before you speak," Mr. North said and smacked Chriss playfully at the back of his head.
"I´m sorry, that was a little bit, spontaneous," Christopher muttered. Then he raised his voice a bit. "But never the less thru, ow, that hurt! That was unnecessary Mr. N" He rubbed the back of his head with one hand, and then looked at me with a little smile. He had one dimple on his right cheek.
"So now that we all understand that you are a brilliant musician, no one is crying and Mr. N is finished abusing his employees in front of potential future employees..." Christopher leaned closer to me. "Did you like it? Recording I mean."
I laughed at him and gave him a thumbs up. "Funniest thing I´v ever done, excepts singing on stage last night." I said, trying not to think of the mythical creatures that had at different points made my life much better. But they were gone, I had to live in the future now, not the past. I wasn´t going to get any of that back, so singing would be the best thing I could hope for.
"Excellent!" Christopher smiled and punched his fist in the air above his head. "Because you will spend a lot of time in this record studio, believe me!"
"Chriss," Mr. North protested. "She hasn´t even signed it yet!"
I coughed, and they both looked at me.
"Actually..." I said, taking the signed contract out of my handbag, and handed it to Mr. North. "I kind of signed it when I went to the ladies room." I smiled sheepishly as Mr. North shook his head in disbelief and Christopher howled with laughter.
"I have to give it to you Mr. N, you know how to pick ´em," Christopher said and dried away some tears that was forming in his eyes because he laughed so hard. Mr. North tried to smack him again, put Christopher was prepared this time, and dogged it easily. I liked the way the two of them seemed to get along, like Christopher was Mr. North younger brother in a way, even if they didn´t look the same at all.
"Well Bella, then I guess there is noting more to say on that matter. Welcome to North Star Records," Mr. North said and we formally shook hands.
"So, to a more practical matter, Chriss here will be your producer, and you two will work together. I don´t care when you work, or how, as long as things get done. You´ll meet with your band tomorrow, so you can get to know each other. If you absolutely hate them, we will find a new band for you, but I really hope you won´t..."
"You won´t" Christopher assured me.
"Anyway, that´s tomorrow. No offense, but you look dead tired. Do you have anywhere to stay in Seattle? Or are you going home."
"Definitely not going home," I thought, "That would be a nightmare."
"I was going to check in on a motel close by tonight. I haven´t thought much about where I was going to live to be honest," I said, thinking about the little money I had left. A hundred dollar really wasn´t that much in the real world.
Mr. North smiled, he seemed to do that a lot.
"Then I have the perfect solution. This is a three storage building. On the second flour, there is a stage and a party area, for promotion ad such. But on the third flour, there is a pretty large apartment. It´s actually a penthouse. My grandparents lived there when they owned the place. I have my own place, and I like to separate home and work, at least in theory. So it´s up there, no one using it, so if you need a place to stay for free..."
I couldn´t believe my luck. A penthouse in Seattle for free! About three seconds away from where I worked, I was SO never going to be late ever. And next door, a book shop. I didn´t deserve any of this, but I was going to take it anyway. I needed this, all of this, to start living again. Right there and then, I decided that that I would no longer put myself down. I was going to face up to my fears and my mistakes, deal with them and move on. And I would do it through music.
Yey, another chapter =)
Next chapter is going to be a little sad.
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