Chapter nine
Gwen sighed softly in her sleep before waking up the next morning.
Jack opened her eyes after hearing her breathing change and he looked at her smiling. "Morning."
"Morning." she smiled up at him
He kissed her forehead softly.
"I meant what I said last night. I love you."
"I love you too, Gwen. I mean it."
"I should have listened to you… when you said he wasn't right for me…"
"But you loved him then, it didn't matter."
"You were still trying to be a friend…" she said, lightly drawing patterns on his chest with her finger.
He smiled and ran his hand through her hair.
"What time is it?" she asked.
He looked around. "Dunno." he shrugged lightly.
"Ianto might be in soon." she giggled.
He laughed. "Oh, come on, we'd better get up."
"You have to first. You're still on top of me. In more ways than one from what I can feel." she smirked. "And I have to get home, shower… change of clothes…"
He smirked, leaned down and kissed her and then got up off her, grabbing his clothes up off the floor.
Gwen got up, picked up her clothes and they both got dressed. She turned to him and kissed him.
He smirked and kissed back.
She pulled back just as the alarm blared, signalling the door opening.
He grinned at her and walked up to his office, making it look like he was doing some work.
Gwen smiled and walked to her desk, checking the rift monitors, then looked over at Ianto who'd gone into the kitchen area.
Jack stood by the office door and looked over at Gwen.
"Are you going to tell him?" she mouthed silently.
Jack pulled a face and looked at her pleadingly. "Can't you?" he mouthed back.
"No, you're the one shagging him. You do it." she mouthed back.
"Well I'm not anymore." he mouthed back.
"Go on." she looked over at Ianto again.
He followed her eye line, but his expression never changed.
"Fine I'll do it…" she muttered, walking over to Ianto.
"Ianto?" Gwen said, forcing a smile. She felt guilty for doing this… she was hurting her friend for what? Her own selfish reasons. She bit her lip, not knowing what to say next.
"What is it Gwen?" Ianto asked.
"It's about me and Jack…"
"What about it?" Ianto looked at her.
'Oh, God Gwen stop… right now…' she thought. "We're kind of… well I dunno what we are but…"
"It's fine, Gwen." Ianto shrugged. "Don't be too surprised though. Between me and him was purely physical, despite what I feel."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It just means don't be surprised. Our captain isn't one for settling down is he."
"I know… I wasn't expecting much anyway…" she lied.
"So don't worry about me, I'll be fine." he smiled at her.
She really wanted him to shout at her… tell her everything was her fault like she knew it was. She walked back to Jack feeling worse than she had before she told Ianto. "He says he's fine bit I don't believe him…"
Jack nodded at her. "Hell have to get over it. I know how bad that sounds." he shrugged.
She sighed. "He's still our friend." she said. 'I'm guessing he's just gonna have his fun then drop me just like he did with Ianto.' she thought and she went back to her desk sorting out her work. 'He says he loves you, but last night could all be a mistake to him.' the annoying, spiteful voice in the back of her head said. She drew a shaky breath, trying to block out the voice. 'But it could be. Ianto's right. We've never known him once to stay in one place or with one person for too long.'
Jack looked over at Gwen and Ianto, and then shifted his gaze to the pile of papers on his desk, he sighed and started on with the paperwork. He didn't need to be a mind reader to know what Gwen was thinking about.
Gwen drew another shaky breath, calming herself, making sure she wouldn't cry and she stood up, walking over to him.
He looked up as she approached. "Are you okay?" he asked her.
"Did you mean it last night? I mean REALLY?" she burted out before she could stop herself.
"Yeah, course I meant it why?"
"I was just… just thinking…"
"Thinking what? That I didn't mean it? That I would just say it because I say it to everyone? That I don't care?" he snapped and he stood up. "I wonder if you meant it too. I wonder if you still love Rhys." he shouted and stormed out.
Gwen closed her eyes and she let her tears fall. She curled her arms around her stomach. "I'm sorry…" she whispered, Rhys' words still ringing in her ears about how useless, worthless and unwanted she was. They were from another argument, one Jack hadn't overheard. Her legs failed to keep her up and she crashed to the floor where she curled up, crying softly. Why, after everything Jack had seen and heard him say and do to her, why would he say she still loved him?
Jack went outside for some air. He stood leaning against the railings for support, immediately feeling guilty about what he'd said to her.
Gwen closed her eyes, biting down hard on her bottom lip, and she wiped her eyes, she slowly stood up and she slowly walked out, keeping her head low as she started to make her way back home.