Chapter 12: Just the Beginning
I picked up my guitar as Amanda started talking to the audience, my hands ice cold but but only tremble mildly. I was SO glad Amanda had offered to do the talking.
"Hello everyone, as Kathy said, we are Seattle Sunrise, and the first song we are going to preform for you," Amanda looked at me and winked "was written by our incredible talented and a bit shy vocalist, Bella Swan. It's called These Days" I felt myself blush at that, but Amandas taunting made me feel a bitt less nervous, so I just smiled at her and rolled my eyes a bit to the audince amusement.
I closed my eyes as the Johnny and Amanda started the intro to the song, and I took several deep breaths. Right before I was supposed to start singing I opened my eyes, and I spotted Mr. North in the audience, smiling proudly already. That gave me the strength I needed, and I started to sing.
What's this life anyway?
What's it to you and me...
To my utter surprise, I loved standing on the stage and preforming. Why? Because I could feel the audience responding. The songs I had written had done what they were supposed to do for me, they had helped me heal a bit. Now, I could sing them for the audience too, not just for my own sake. I was amazed to find that I had fun on the stage, playing the guitar and singing. We all had fun, smiling to each other, Jack, Amanda and I rocked out on front stage, and Johnny and Allen controlling everything behind us.
"Ok everyone," Amanda said. "This is our last song, written by our composer-in-the-house and keyboard player Johnny Dean. The song reflects on us, because this concert is just the beginning!"
That was the song name, Just the Beginning. It was a kind of feel-good song, and I hoped with all my heart that Amanda was right as Allen started the song with a crazy drum round. This was the best I had felt in months.
Amanda and I did a little crazy-dancing as I played the guitar at the intro, and I almost forgot to grab the mic to sing. So I just let the guitar fall from my hands, hanging by the strap around my neck, and then I hastily flipped it over my shoulder and grabbed the mic. I think the audience thought it was a trick or something, because they clapped and wolf whistled at me.
Chase that dream down the highway
Don't care where, it's going my way.
Sky on top, rain behind me,
there's no looking back.
I want you to need me, like I need you
Never thought I'd find something so pure.
We thought we'd be somewhere else.
We started a long time ago
We thought we'd be anywhere else.
Don't think that it's over
I know that the world belongs to us
And it's just the beginning
My heart raced a mile a minute
Some days get lost, then you're in it.
Hold my hand, lets jump in and
See what lies ahead
You are the mirror I see myself in
Never though I'd find so much within
We thought we'd be somewhere else.
We started a long time ago
We thought we'd be anywhere else.
Don't think that it's over
I know that the world belongs to us
And it's just the beginning
Oh....
You are the mirror I see myself in
Never though I'd find so much within
We thought we'd be somewhere else.
We started a long time ago
We thought we'd be anywhere else.
We thought we'd be somewhere else.
We started a long time ago
We thought we'd be anywhere else.
Don't think that it's over
I know that the world belongs to us
And it's just the beginning
Just the beginning
"Thank you!" I yelled to the audience as every single one of them stood up to applaud us. I turned around to look at the band, and I could see Johnny with the biggest of grinds on his face, Jack and Amanda high-fiving each other as they put down their instruments. Allen smiled down at me as he took my right hand, Johnny my left, and we all bowed together, hand in hand, all of us smiling like fools. It was such a high!
When we got backstage, we were all just jumping up and down making so much noise that the stressed, backstage model-like woman chased us out the backstage door to a dark, narrow alleyway.
"That was without a question the coolest concert I have ever done!" Amanda exclaimed and then she attacked me with a hug that would have sent me straight into the dirty ground it Jack hadn't stood behind me and saved me from the painful experience. Then he but his arms around my waist from behind again and I laughed that horribly wrong laughter of mine as he started spinning me around
"Blonde, you got some MAD skills on stage!" he said as he finally let go of me, and I had to grab Johnnys shoulder for support.
I just shook my head. I wanted to say that it was them, not me, but I had to catch my breath first.
The backstage door flew up, and everyone went deadly quiet as we saw Christopher standing in the doorway, looking really angry. I felt a chill go down my spine. Oh no, had we screwed up somehow? My mind started to go through our whole performance, looking for things we had done wrong.
" I just got one thing to say to you all," he said sternly. Then his face relaxed, and he got the same crazy smile as we all had wore just seconds ago.
"I love every single one of you right now."
I don't think I've ever felt so relieved in my whole life. Then, without thinking, I did a really un-Bella-like thing. I ran at Christopher and threw my arms around his neck. His arms closed around me and he lifted me a bit of the ground, spinning me around gently. The gentle way he touched me suddenly reminded me of another set of arms, colder and harder, but just as gentle. Pain shot through my chest, and I immediately tore away from Christopher.
Christopher shot me a confused look, but before he could say anything, the door opened again and there was Mr. North, his eyes twinkling in the dim light. I wrapped my arms casually around myself and tired to hold my chest together. Damn it, I thought I had gotten better. Well, guess one couldn't heal completely in only five days. It didn't look like anyone else had noticed my little freak out as they all started talking at once.
"What did the audience think?
"What did you think?"
"Did anyone ask about us afterwards?"
"Wow, hold your horses!" he laughed merrily and put his arms in front of him like he was shielding himself from an attack. "I don't think I have to tell you that you did the best debut anyone can ever hope for, and you got noticed, thats for sure!"
"Blonde, are you OK?" Johnny suddenly asked out of nowhere. He had noticed me clutching my chest for dear life.
"Yeah, just a bit cold," I lied, hoping he would believe me. Mr. North said that we should probably get inside, so Christopher held the door open for us as Mr. North led the way in. He tried to catch my eye as I walked past him, but I pretended I didn't see it and followed Amanda inside. Wanting to get some alone-time to collect myself, I said I needed to use the bathroom. As soon as I had locked the door behind me, I fell down on my knees and started to hyperventilate.
"Calm down, breath slowly," I told myself. The key was to keep breathing, and in under a minute, the hole in my chest had stopped tearing at me, and I could breath easier, thanks to the memories of standing on the stage. I focused on that happy memory, pushing all other thoughts aside, and after another minute, I was back to normal, or as normal as a person with two giant holes in their chest can be. I arose from the bathroom floor and looked at myself again in the mirror above the sink.
"Right now, you have to be blond, musician-Bella, not the broken-Bella," I told myself sternly, but it wasn't easy. That touch had awoken so many memories, and most of all the longing and the pain. I missed him, I realized. Him and Jake. Oh what I would have done to have Jake here, celebrating with me. I pressed my head against the sink and I felt one single tear fall down my check.
"I suppose I will always feel alone and abandoned," I whispered to no one in particular. "No matter how much I like the band, Christopher and Mr. North." They could never fill the holes in my chest. Music could fill some part of them, but I would never be absolutely fine.
"Blonde!" Johnny was banging at my door. "Get out here, there we are going celebrating."
I turned on the water and splashed some in my face.
"OK, I'm coming," I called back and straightened my cloths. I was ready to face the world again. So I plastered a big smile on my face and walked out of the bathroom.
"So where are we going?"
***
We went this big restaurant in the middle of Seattle, and we toasted for Seattle Sirens, the band that was going to rock the world. Everyone drank champaign, except Amanda and I, and we ate so much food that I felt like a stuffed turkey when we had finished. It was fun and easy hanging out with the band, Mr. North and Christopher, even though Christopher kept sending me strange glances now and than, like he was trying to figure me out. I hoped he would stop doing that before he got too deep and saw that I was broken through and through.
Mr. North told us that a number of music magazines and some news papers had taken pictures of our performance and that we shouldn't be too surprised if there stood something about us in magazines like Hard Core (Washington states own music magazine) and the Seattle Times.
"They got some good shots of you throwing your guitar around Bella," Mr. North smiled and winked at me. I was a bit confused then. I hadn't been throwing my guitar around, had I?
"Yeah Blonde, where did you learn to do that?" Jack said, his eyes shining with something that looked like admiration. Wait, Jack was admiring something I had done with a guitar. Can anyone say backwards?
"I´m sorry, but I don't know what you're all talking about," I said confused, but it seamed like the others thought I was just playing modest or something, so Johnny and Jack just punched my arm and then they all continued talking. I shrugged. Well, I'd have to wait for the pictures tomorrow then to see what they had meant.
We sat until the restaurant closed, talking away and the others drinking. Jack and Johnny got a bit tipsy, so Christopher said he would drive them home, Jack and Johnny are room mates. A sleek, black convertible rolled up and picked up Allen, it was Rebecca driving it of course. She didn't even say so much as a little "hi" to Amanda and me, just nodded politely to Christopher and Mr. North. I understood why Amanda didn't like her now, Rebecca was sickly jealous. I also had the distinct feeling that Amanda had some kind feelings for Allen. I hoped this whole thing wouldn't turn ugly.
Amanda wasn't staying this night, she had to get home. The thought of being alone scared me a bit, and after my "relapse", I was sure I would have a bad night. Perhaps it was for the best that I was alone tonight, I didn't want Amanda to see who screwed-up I really was.
Seattle was beautiful at night. I looked at my cell, and the numbers on the display told me that it was well over midnight. The studio was just a twenty minutes walk away, so I said goodbye to Mr. North and Amanda, plugged in my iTouch and walked into the night.
It was peaceful, just walking. There was some people in the streets, but as I walked further and further away from all the major pubs and night clubs, I suddenly found myself alone, walking under the full moon. I didn't want to go inside, to face the nightmare I was sure would come, so when I came to my street, I just continued walking. I walked and walked, not knowing where I was going, thinking as little as I could, concentrating on the low music in my ears.
The sun started to rise in the horizon before I finally locked myself into the record label, took the elevator to the third floor, looked myself into my apartment, and collapsed on my bed. Blissfully, all I dreamt about was stars. Stars and endless streets, just walking and walking, moving through space and time.
I was dragged out of my disturbing dream by someone trying to break my door. I sat up groggily, hearing the intensely annoying banging on my front door.
"Ok, I am awake!" I yelled, still sleepy. I thought Mr. North had given us the day of today. Who could it be molesting my door, and why? Dragging myself out of ht bed, still dressed in the clothes I had wore the night before, I walked to the door and opened.
"Christopher, I.." Christophers face was so filled with pure happiness, I had to take a step back to look at him. He was almost vibrating with joy.
"Blonde," he said. "Meet me in band studio D in ten minutes." Then he just turned his back on me and skipped, no I am NOT kidding, skipped down the hallway and into the elevator. I closed the door and turned around slowly.
"This better not be some kind of stupid joke," I muttered as I started to peal of my now wrinkled clothes on my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower, hoping it would wake me up.
Getting out of the shower, I just tossed my hair up in a messy bun, put on a pair of black, short harem pants and the SPERO t-shirt I had bought the first day. For the first time, I bothered to glance at the watch on the microwave. 10.06 in the morning!? Oh, this better be good, or I'd be really irritated.
It was actually really good. When I walked into band studio D, I was met by a double paged-sized picture of me, tossing my guitar over my shoulder in a really impressive way, my hair blowing away from my face. I looked really cool, and I looked complete. I didn't look broken or nuts, or like I had puked only twenty minutes before that picture was taken. Amanda stood beside me on the picture, looking like she was having the time of her life, Jack was looking at me to, smiling. Allen looked like he was in his own, little drum-world and Johnny was looking at him, a crazy look in his eyes.
"We got two pages. TWO pages in the Hard Core!" Jack was jumping up and down while I looked at the picture, stunned. It was me in the picture, but not me at all. It was the blond-Bella, the one that could do anything. Amanda tore the magazine out of my hands and started to read out loud, her voice almost an octave higher that usual.
"The Music Box has always offered a variety of new bands and artists that wants to put there name out there, but it's been a long time since something like Seattle Sunrise has rocked that little stage.
Looking pretty normal and low-key, the band surprises the audience when the hauntingly beautiful voice of Isabella "Bella" Swan makes the room go quiet, and captivates the audience from the first note. It is clear that Swan has written the lyrics to the songs, as she shears her thoughts of life, love and loss with the audience, singing with the intensity and feeling that so many main-stream artists have lost, or don't ever bother to find anymore.
Bass player Amanda Philips and guitar player Jack Carter are, like Swan, natural and hones in their performance, and not to mention good musicians. Drummer Allen Promfry is as steady as a train behind the drums, but still looking like what he's playing is the easiest thing in the world. Johnny Dean is the composer and plays the keyboard, and it's easy to see that he's the leader of the band as he keeps everyone in line, and playing just as beautiful as Swan sings.
Will Seattle Sunrise soon be the band on everyones lips? Well, only time will show, but one thing is for sure. Like Swan sings in their las song for the evening, this is just he beginning. Seattle Sunrise is a fresh breeze in the music scene of Seattle."
I stared at the magazine, not comprehending what Amanda had just read.
"It's a little article about us in the Seattle Times that''s just as good, and the video clip we posted on youtube has been sean by more than five thousand people, just in a couple of hour," Christopher said, still glowing with that same happiness. Some part of me was a bit upset about being on youtube, but the shock of the great press we had gotten was taking up more space in my mind and drowning out everything else.
"But that's not all," Mr. North said, I hadn't even seen him before now. He was smiling too, just like everyone else. I looked up at him. How could it get better than this.
His smile widened.
"We got a job, and it's a really good one."
Song: Just the Beginning by Damhnait Doyle
Yey, another chapter! Than you all so much for reading my story, please review!
Also, a lot of people ask me if there is going to be something between Bella and Christopher, and all I can tell you, is that he's a bit in love with her. Next chapter, I think, will be six months forward in time, when the job is done. Can anyone guess what kind if job it is?
~B4E