29. Something for the Girls

Word Count: 1613

In which the Guardians and a select several more are genderswapped.

"Have you ever wondered what it would be like if we were guys?"

Tsuna didn't bother looking from her gaming magazine when she felt her friend's inquiring hazel eyes on her small form.

"Um, what brought this on again?"

Tsuna held back a sigh on her account, 'cause it was her fault a pleasant conversation about music and anime had turned. She rolled on to her back, taking the baseball shaped pillow she was laying on with her and hugged it to her chest, still not looking at her friend in favor of staring at the ceiling.

Tsuna responded simply.

"It's a lot of things really…"

And it was.

Her whole life was what brought this on, and it manifested into a thought that she accidently blurted out.

Tsuna honestly hated being a girl.

She knew that being a guy had its definite ups and downs, going by what Chrome would sometimes slip of his previous life, but really, being a girl sucked. It wasn't even just limited to menstrual cycles and its pains.

Tsuna never saw what benefitted girls.

They always got knocked down by the men, the 'superior' sex. The mafia wasn't merciful to her just simply because she was a girl, never mind she was to be the Vongola Tenth. (Though she still told them she wasn't.)

Even in her own gender, they knocked down the smaller, different one, not necessarily by physical means, though Tsuna has had enough experience to attest to that, but they cut each other down by words and by the mind.

Tsuna's scars on her body were from the man-ridden Mafia. The deeper scars, the ones in her mind and soul, were from her female peers.

Tsuna sunk her face in the pillow she still kept to her chest, eyes swimming in the memories that weren't before her, but in her mind. She didn't realize her friend had moved until there was suddenly a flash of black, light tan and hazel in her vision. Tsuna squeaked, startled. Laughter danced in hazel eyes as a laugh bubbled from her lips.

"There's Tsuna! I was worried she wouldn't come back down to Namimori from wherever her mind took her!"

A furious blush swept Tsuna's face in embarrassment at their close proximity and for being caught reminiscing and she tried to hide it with the baseball pillow. "Y-Yamamoto…!"

Yamamoto grinned down at her before moving back and lifted Tsuna's head into her lap. Tsuna's flush grew indignantly but Yamamoto only grinned at her.

"Maa, mind telling me what's in that cute little head of yours?" Yamamoto tapped Tsuna's forehead, accentuating her question and Tsuna looked away, indignant blush only reddening.

"I-I'm not cute…"

"Haha! If you say so!"

Tsuna groaned in frustration and fought the habit of tugging her hair in favor of holding the pillow closer.

"…I just don't like being a girl, Yamamoto."

Yamamoto tilted her head, short black hair only slightly moving along. Tsuna hesitantly met Yamamoto's eyes.

"It's just based on my personal experience but…girls are looked down upon by guys and girls don't like other girls that aren't like them." Tsuna nuzzled in the pillow. "I mean, do you know how many times I was teased for just being plain? For not being into the latest fashions and make-up? Girls are catty and will use any little thing they can manipulate to hurt you. They don't do it on guys but their own gender, girls. If they don't think that being into anime and gaming is cool, they'll break you down."

Tsuna paused and then grinned up cheekily at Yamamoto. "I'm sorry. I must not be making much sense."

"Nah. I definitely get what you're saying." Yamamoto leaned back, eyes distant despite the blissful smile on her face. "Before we entered middle school, I was pretty much an outcast."

Tsuna's jaw dropped. "Y-you? Namimori's softball ace? Yamamoto Takeshiko? A-an outcast?"

Yamamoto blinked. "Yes…?"

Tsuna knew her surprise might have come off a little insensitive and maybe a little rude but really? "But… But how? I mean," Tsuna waved her arms, gesturing to Yamamoto in a grandiose manner, but it really only came off as flailing, "I mean, look at you! You're you! Yamamoto Takeshiko! The girl that can wipe the floor with any of the members on the kendo club, the girl who's on the softball team only because her gender requires it, the most popular girl in school, the girl with the body all the girls dream of and rivals celebrities, and the girl all the guys dream about dating!"

There was only a blink from the girl in question before she burst into laughter, "Maa maa! I'm not so sure about all that," here Tsuna whimpered disbelievingly, "but honestly, nobody really liked me! I was the girl the girls thought was weird for trying to be like the guys and the girl the guys thought was trying to ruin their fun."

Yamamoto smiled down at Tsuna, a blithe smile, but her eyes weren't staring at Tsuna; the faraway look in them reminded Tsuna of the look in her eyes just before Yamamoto interrupted her.

…Guess it's time to return the favor.

"Um… Hey, Yamamoto?" Tsuna reached up and gently cupped Yamamoto's face, briefly marveling the softness of her cheeks (Yamamoto always seemed strong and tough; such softness was…surprising), and smiled uncertainly when Yamamoto's eyes cleared.

Yamamoto blinked rapidly, obviously trying to remember the situation. Her smile became strained as realization flooded her eyes. Tsuna's smile widened, though still uncertain.

"I'm sorry…"

Confusion filled Yamamoto's features. "Huh? For what?"

"Um…" Tsuna wasn't quite sure either. "W-well, for bringing it up and…making you remember stuff you didn't want to, I-I guess."

Yamamoto waved off the apology with a laugh, "No need to apologize! It's stuff that happened in the past! And I'd be lying if I said that it still doesn't bother me, but," her eyes became determined, "it's something that made me stronger as a female." She beamed at Tsuna, "Don't cha think?"

Tsuna only flushed with a small, shy, happy smile. It made Yamamoto's expression soften.

"'Sides, I think you make a pretty cute girl."

Tsuna groaned, "I-I'm not cute!" When Yamamoto only laughed, Tsuna muttered, "And I think I should have been born as a guy…"

"Eh? You think so?"

"Just look at my name! My parents were so convinced I was going to be a guy so they only thought up one name! They just gave me the name because they didn't know what to think of when I turned out to be a girl!"

Yamamoto laughed, "How about my name? Obviously my parents thought I was going to be a boy too! They just added the 'ko' kanji to my name to make it feminine!" Her expression became playfully thoughtful, "I think your parents did you a favor by not doing what they did to mine! Sawada Tsunayoshiko…"

Yamamoto and Tsuna made a face at that.

"I think you're right…"

"Haha! You see?"

Tsuna looked up at Yamamoto, face still strained, "But still…! I'm as flat as a billboard on both ends, my hair is untamable and that's unacceptable for girls! I can't cook to save my life, I can only clean and even then that's moderate! I fight in battles that girls are supposed to be standing on the side at and-"

"Tsuna."

Tsuna stopped and stared into Yamamoto's patient, but hardened face.

"What's wrong with being strong?"

Tsuna felt her frustration drain away but her words still flowed, "Girls don't like other girls who are strong like that. Girls are supposed to be trained to be like housewives."

The hands cupping Tsuna's cheeks twitched and stiffened. "Do you want to be like that? Seriously."

Tsuna couldn't respond. Being strong is what she needed to be and, for her friends, wanted to be. But it had been ingrained into her head, those girls' words, insults, jeers, mockery, and it wasn't something that she could let go and let be forgotten.

"Those girls are weak."

Tsuna looked up at her, only helplessness filling her eyes, "Are they really? Because they tore me down so easily."

Yamamoto gave a small smile, "Those girls are weak because they think their strength in found by bringing other people down. They see somebody blooming in their own way, becoming the beautiful flower they'll never be, so they run you down as if your defeat makes them stronger.

"And you know what else?"

Tsuna's eyes widened and Yamamoto grinned.

"I think girls are stronger than guys."

The scoff came out before Tsuna could stop it, "Having the ability to carry a baby in your womb never counts."

"But see, Tsuna? We shoulder not only power, but the feelings guys never bothered shouldering." Tsuna looked confused and disbelieving; Yamamoto continued, "Guys think it's all muscle and raw power. We girls know that having a lot of power means more is at stake. We learn to carry the responsibility and the power and not get swept away by the promise it seems to give us."

Silence befell the two as they stared at one another, one trying to understand, the other willing her to. Tsuna sighed, her wide eyes sliding to a close and Yamamoto began to stroke her cheek with the pad of her thumb.

"I don't think I can accept that. Not just yet," Tsuna whispered.

Yamamoto chuckled quietly, "I don't think I expected you to this moment. But at least you will."

Tsuna's lips spread in a slow smile.

"Yeah. I know I will."