I know it took me forever to update this time. Which had partly to do with lack of time….but mostly with my PC mascotte, my dwarf hamster Dropje who was starting to walk difficultly and seemed to lose weight. Two trips to the vet later it seems she has some muscle failure, and possibly is dementing. Which meant she forgot how to do things and every time she wakes up, I help her with things. When this happens during writing, I lose my enthusiasm.
But she is still alive and kicking….
I think I'm ready to move the story towards some new action soon….
Telyra: Thanks for offering me cookies. . Emotions are something I like to write, though it takes me more time than action. That's just telling what I see in my head. I'm hypersensitive, which means I pick up on a lot of emotions and when I write about them, It is not in a distant way….been there, felt that. I feel that there is one thing you need more than physical health, and that's some friends and/or that you can trust and that support you in what you do. Lacking that will make you mentally ill….even if you might not realize it….Of course it is important to be your own friend too, but it helps when someone reminds you that you deserve to be so.
I have not always been my own friend, and when I write about Phyllis, it sometimes feels like a trip to the past…
But right now I'm doing a little joy dance over a newly finished chapter!
Slowly, very slowly Phyllis became aware of where she was. She felt the soft mattress underneath her, the thick blanket wrapped around her, protecting her from the chilly night air. It was still dark outside, and she felt like turning to the other side to sleep some more. She could not remember a time feeling this drowsy…she had gotten used to a light slumber, to wake up at the smallest sound. To be able also to pull yourself from sleep when nightmares invade it. But now she could barely move. One of her arms was sleeping, and when she tried to open her eyes, they felt thick and blurry. Which caused her to remember….
She shivered and pulled the blanket around her. Concentrating, she rubbed her sleeping arm until the feeling started to return to it.
She had told them…it was never a secret that Marcus and Biancus died and why. But she had never told anyone exactly how. Neither had Marcus father, or any of the soldiers that were among them that day. It had been too hard. Bonny had always been there to listen, but she had never forced it out of Phyllis. She had just held Phyllis close when she was dreaming, reliving moments she could not speak about. Phyllis felt a stab of pain as she thought of her former best friend. Bonny had been there, all those years while Phyllis was seeking revenge. Bonny had always been there, even when Phyllis had succeeded in sending even her own mother away. Right until the moment that had separated them forever. That was how it had felt when Bonny left her to fight for herself. At that moment, her defensive powers failed for the first time, and the last thing she saw before everything turned black, was her beloved horse jumping in front of her and Mesmerons burning eyes.
She knew, now, looking back, that Goliath's action caused her defense to kick back in. They would never have survived if they hadn't. But she remembered nothing but the cold, numb feeling that proceeded that moment.
Unforgivable.
It had become a mantra.
Phyllis had repeated this word in her head a thousand times since she had set foot in Asterix' and Obelix' home. Bonny had always had more faith in Phyllis' healing abilities than she had herself. How could she still cure someone when that faith was gone? And yet this village had made it possible again. Asterix and Obelix, their friends….they had made things return she had believed to be lost forever. Her ability to heal, the chance to touch and ride Goliath again….
She turned to her other side, barely surprised to find the little blonde warrior still asleep next to her, his hand nearly touching her head.
Unspeakable.
Unforgivable.
How come all these words just seemed to lose their meaning whenever she looked at him? For the first time since eight years, she felt protected. She knew that no matter what, she would have to meet Mesmeron again. She also knew that no matter what, she would not be alone this time. She faced the ceiling again, breathing deeply. That knowledge, that ability to trust made her powers flare so much that her hands glowed softly in the dark. But deep down in her chest, darker things stirred. She had required other powers because of Mesmeron. They were burning inside her now, urging her to act.
Phyllis got up silently. Outside it was still dark; she guessed it would be so for a few more hours. They would have to prepare for a confrontation with Mesmeron starting today. How much time would those Romans need to recover? She was not planning on flying solo anymore. It had always been so easy to deceive people, but she wasn't sure she would succeed with Asterix. And she did not want to. But there was one thing she could do that would protect him, without facing Mesmeron directly. She put on a black skirt and top, and with the light of a candle, applied black make-up to her eyes. They were slightly red still, and she looked even paler than usual. Which was perfect. Her black travelling cloak and Goliath were all she needed. She was not going to fight.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Asterix woke up with the timid sound of the rooster sounding faintly in his ears. As if it was afraid to draw attention. It did not feel like morning. The sun was shielded by heavy clouds, and his windows were clapping, making Obelix shift in his sleep. Asterix felt slightly awkward as he sat up. He had fallen asleep next to Phyllis, who was bound to have noticed, because she was no longer there...just where was she then? He heard no sounds downstairs. He got up to secure the windows, and shook Obelix' shoulder on his way. Obelix did not need as much time to wake up as usual. They dressed quickly.
"Seems like a storm is brewing," Asterix said. Even as the words left his mouth, a streak of lightning illuminated the sky, making them both jump in surprise. Thunder followed moments later. Obelix gave him an alarmed look. Asterix did not share his fellow villagers fear of thunderstorms, and normally neither did Obelix. But this felt weird, thunderstorms rarely happened in the morning and it had not been warm either. They carefully stepped outside. Other people were doing the same, crossing the village quickly to go to their chief's house. It was a habit to assemble there if there was a heavy storm. This one was not even that heavy, but it sure came unexpected. Asterix motioned for Obelix to follow. Suddenly, the closed village gates flew open, and a horse and rider entered. Asterix was surprised to feel his own hand fly to his sword immediately. But he did not draw it, because he recognized Phyllis and Goliath, the gates closing behind them in another rush of wind. She stared at him from underneath her cape.
"Where did you go?" He asked, sounding more irritated than he meant to. She motioned towards Vitalstatistix' hut, and turned to bring Goliath to her stable. Which left Asterix and Obelix alone to face the worrying villagers.
"Where is Phyllis?" Even that first question was hard to answer. But Getafix suddenly stepped forward to their leader and told him she would join them soon. Asterix addressed Getafix: "This is quite a strange time to have a thunderstorm, isn't it?" Getafix nodded. "But since Phyllis' powers seem to influence the atmosphere, this one is probably caused by her earlier activities," he added.
"What earlier activities?" Asterix asked, feeling increasingly irritated for having to ask. Apparently Phyllis opening up had not caused her to become more informative. At least not to him.
"I chased the legions of Petibonum and Babaorum,"Phyllis answered, lowering the hat of her cape as she entered. She turned to Vitalstatistix: "They could have been recruited by Mesmeron, it would have been bad for us and for them, but I got to them first." She sounded a little satisfied over her last comment.
"Look Miss," Vitalstatistix started, "Usually we consult the village chief béfore the action, not after."
"You were asleep." Phyllis said simply. "I informed Getafix. It was better to go alone anyway," she glanced at Asterix. "I could not have the risk of them return willingly, and since they could face the lions for not doing so….I had to give them quite a scare." Getafix stepped forward, stopping right next to her, facing Vitalstatistix: "I agreed with her going alone. She's the only one who can really sense Mesmerons' presence, and it was necessary to do this fast. At least he will have just one army, and it needs to recover. It bought us time.
"And if he goes recruiting elsewhere?" Vitalstatistix asked.
"He'll have to go pretty far then," Phyllis said. "Word about the haunted forest will spread with the Romans that fled it." Again, Asterix noticed her grim satisfaction. As she continued her conversation with Vitalstatistix, Asterix studied her. Something was different. The white of her eyes was still slightly red, making her green eyes shine bright. The black makeup around them intensified that effect. He had seen these eyes change color before and after she used her powers. Getafix had just blamed a thunderstorm on those powers. But her eyes did not betray that. They were clear and focused. On him. Suddenly he realized that everybody was looking at him, waiting for an answer on a question he had missed. Getafix saved him: "before we decide what to do next, it might be good have Manilla and Bonny here as well," he said. Asterix glanced at Phyllis, but she did not react.
"I'll go and get them," Impedimenta offered, still looking at Asterix. He nodded, feeling slightly confused. "Uhm, Phyllis, can I have a word with you?" She followed him outside. They walked aimlessly for a minute.
"So, why did you not…" "Wake you up…?" "I just realized that we should have taken Mesmeron's possibility to recruit more people away long before now. But he would have seen it as a provocation, which is probably why I didn't think of it sooner. It does not matter anymore now."
"Ok, but that is not the answer to my question."
"I've gotten used to doing things on my own. Especially things that scare the shit out of people."
"You've told me that already. But it is not that easy to scare me. Or Obelix."
"It wouldn't have been the three of us. Did you not notice how everybody was clinging to you yesterday? You are not the only one trying to protect people." Her eyes softened. "I've never lived in a village before. It feels ….comfy. The forest house was the closest I ever got to that. But before Mesmeron came along, it was a coming and going of people, and for me it was still a school. I was born in Rome, and I lived in Athens until we travelled to the Forest House."
"You can't get much further from a village than that."
Phyllis nodded. "I loved Athens though. But my dad is a doctor. An exceptionally good one. It helps that his wife is a healer….we never had much to fear. It was not like that for others. You know everyone here. We didn't. And Rome values Athens, but it is not a free city. It has the scars to prove it. My dad can't walk past them without having his eyes darkening." It was strange to hear her talk about a past that had nothing to do with their current situation…But it was a welcome change of topic.
"And yet he went to Rome when illness struck there. That does make him a true doctor. Like Getafix, who would probably cure Brutus if he came asking for it…" Asterix said.
They looked at each other. "I would not," Phyllis said. "Guess that makes me a lousy healer."
"Maybe that is not what you are meant to be then."
They arrived at the stables, and Phyllis let Goliath out. They sat down to see the horse run around, chase a dog and returning to nip at some grass near their feet. She looked totally different from the horse Asterix had taken from Philip. Her fur was shiny, and her ears were no longer fixed in her neck.
"You said Brutus…." Asterix looked up. Phyllis was eyeing him, curious. "Why not Julius? I mean, he's the one who placed those camps around your village…."
He realized what she meant. Julius Caesar was supposed to be their number one enemy. And back when the Roman emperor had threatened to take over Notax' village, that had still been unquestionable. In fact, his cousin would probably have asked him the same thing Phyllis just asked, and he would not have been too satisfied with the answer he was going to give.
"Jules has history with us." Asterix said. Phyllis snickered, and he raised an eyebrow. "Jules…" she said, smiling. "If I ever meet him again, I'm soooo going to call him that."
Because Asterix looked confused, she clarified: "My dad went to the palace once, and he took us along…" She hesitated. "Julius Caesar loves his position, and he has a flawed conscience to say the least...but he's a man of his word…I think…" She looked apologetic, "but that's just a first impression…"
"A truthful one…As to why I said Brutus, he burned down our village….that puts him quite low on my list of people worth saving."
It was Phyllis' turn to look surprised. "Burned….but..when?"
"Almost two years ago, because he was trying to get hold of Cleopatra's son, and we were not exactly willing to comply."
"So I guess he was not ordered to do so then." Phyllis guessed. Asterix shook his head.
"Jules had the whole village rebuilt...he had little choice with Cleopatra fuming in his neck, but even if she hadn't been, I think he would have done so."
"That's history, indeed." Phyllis was silent for a while. "So Cleopatra….you must have quite a reputation if she decided to hide her son here."
"We helped to build her a palace once." Phyllis stared at him. Asterix smiled. "I guess that sounds…" Phyllis cut him off. "No, no….Palace, of course. Not weird at all."
"Getafix is friends with an Egyptian architect…who had to build her a palace in three months or serve as dinner for some crocodiles."
"Charming lady." Phyllis remarked.
"It was good motivation," Asterix shrugged.
They continued to chat for a while. Obelix interrupted them to announce Manilla and Bonny's arrival. This time, Phyllis did react, because she barely spoke as they returned the Vitalstatistix' hut. But Asterix' had caught more than a glimpse of how she used to be this time. Talkative…playful even. Someone he felt comfortable with. Someone who would have become a friend. For the first time, he was completely convinced that that person was not lost forever.
I know in some movies (the live action ones), Obelix seems afraid of lightning as well. But if you read the Asterix and the Soothsayer, Obelix looks just as unfazed by it as Asterix. So no comments about the sky falling down in this story, because I think the villagers will have other things to worry about….