It wasn't until forty-five minutes later that Pansy and Blaise, with some unwanted help from Harry, had managed to get Hermione off Draco without waking her up. Ron was also trying to get Draco from underneath Hermione while hurting him as much as possible, but surprisingly, he didn't wake her either.
Blaise, Harry and Pansy then managed to pry Draco and Ron off each other as they wrestled on the floor, shouting obscenities at each other. This resulted with Draco karate chopping Ron on the head and singing: "WAR! Huh? What is it good for? Absolutely nothing!", getting up to dance in the redhead's face.
Now that that was finally over, Pansy could sit worrying about why the Mudblood was in his bed in the first place. She was sitting on Draco's bed in the Slytherin dormitories, waiting for him to get out the shower so she could take him to breakfast. She was fearing if he was to go anywhere on his own, it would cause disaster.
She rolled her eyes at the sound of him singing in the shower, something she had never heard him do before and wouldn't have believed it if she wasn't hearing it. But it was unmistakable that he was singing 'The Phantom of the Opera' in the shower while singing both Christine's and the Phantom's parts.
"He's there, the Phantom on the Opera... Beware the Phantom of the Opera... In all your fantasies, you always knew that man and mystery…"
Pansy would be horrified if she knew he was acting this out melodramatically with a back scrubber and a sponge, while using the shower curtain as the stage curtains and the side of the bath as the stage.
Meanwhile, completely oblivious to her friend's insanity, Pansy sat and pondered the whole situation. Okay, Draco HAD been asleep at midnight; she had walked up to the hospital wing to check. So between then and 6 am, he and Granger had managed to get into bed together and had done Merlin-knows-what. That was 6 hours of missing time; she didn't even want to imagine the possibilities.
She was to have to talk with Draco about how one minute he hated the Mudblood and the next he was waking up with her on his chest. It was just… weird. This potion was changing Draco, and she didn't like it.
Half an hour later, at quarter past eight, Draco was sitting his four best friends at the Slytherin table. Pansy was moaning at him about Granger while Crabbe and Goyle randomly laughing at him . Blaise was reading the paper, but soon sighed and closed the Daily Prophet.
"What's up Blaise?" Draco asked, flicking through his own paper, looking for what might have upset his friend.
"It is women these days; you can't get a decent one." Of course, this statement started Pansy off.
"Women? It's men that are the problem!"
"Pansy let him finish," Draco snapped to his outspoken friend. "Go on, Blaise." Draco nodded at his friend, interested.
"If I talk, you won't start singing will you? I mean, last time we had 'The great marriage debate' you started singing on the table, " he questioned. Draco smiled and shook his head. "Well, I was just reading the Prophet, the old bint who's married to Wadsworth… You know they just got divorced; she drained him of every penny, the manor and the lot. What if that happens to one of us?"
"It won't," Draco affirmed automatically.
"You would think that though, after all, who would do that to a Malfoy?" Blaise mocked.
"Exactly." Draco said, smirking at his friend.
"It's not women who are the problem, it's the men." Pansy muttered. "I mean, look at all the guys around here. They're all pigs." Draco and Blaise grinned as she glared at Goyle. Crabbe was oblivious, as usual. "Everyone in Hogwarts is a minger(1) and they just don't know how to act classy or impress a girl. The only thing boys want these days is quick shag. I can't have a decent boyfriend without getting molested, but I need my virginity to get into my marriage!" she sighed. "Are we the only ones in the school who have our futures sorted? Times are changing, but I feel like I'm in the Dark Ages." She finished with a dramatic breath.
"I know what you mean." Blaise and Draco said at the same time. They smiled at each other briefly when they said it.
"I'm never gonna get a decent guy," Pansy complained. "And I don't feel like waiting until I'm eighteen for my first boyfriend!"
"There are decent guys, look at me and Draco, we're decent!"
"Yeah, you both are. But I mean, other people! It is hard to get a man with the money and the looks. It's either one or the other. It sucks."
Draco pouted from across the table.
"Well, apart from you Draco, you've got money and you've definitely got the looks." Draco grinned and stood up, flicking his hat on his head as he began to sing.
"I'm bringing sexy back! Yep, those other boys dunno how to act, yep! Let me make up for the things they lack. 'Cause im burning up babe and that's a fact! YEP YEP!" Pansy banged her head on the table. Why did she say that? His ego was bigger than this school. She did not need to fuel it! And Merlin, he was singing… again.
"Dirty babe? You see these shackles baby, I'm your slave." Draco sang seductively to Pansy as he pointed to his feet then smacked his hip, while licking his lips. Pansy just rolled her eyes as he sang to her.
"Draco," she said calmly. "Do you want everyone to think you've gone completely mental?"
"I'll let you whip me if I misbehave," he said innocently.
"Draco! Do not ignore me. Stop it!" Draco was already doing the moonwalk and starting to body pop as he sang, so Pansy shook her head, embarrassed more than anything else. Girls were giggling at him from around the hall, boys rolling their eyes.
"It's just that no one makes me…" And just like that, he stopped and straightened up. "I'm done now." He said, plopping back down into his seat.
"How did you do that? Just stop! I though you couldn't!" Pansy fumed. "Is this all a joke to wind me up?"
"Pansy, what are you an about?" Draco said, looking confused.
"Has no one told him? Doesn't he know yet?" She looked around the table at her friends and refrained from screaming in frustration. "Draco, you've got a Soul Expression on you!" she whispered to him.
"Oh, right, that makes sense," he replied, shrugging.
"Do you not want me to explain?" she said, panicking.
"No, I'm not stupid. Oh, and the "just stopping" thing, I can answer you now. I was singing Justin Timberlake's 'Sexy back', yeah? Well, I tried to sing 'it's just that no one makes me feel this way' and that would be a lie, wouldn't it? So I couldn't sing it, because it wouldn't be a soul expression."
"Oh, thanks," she scoffed.
"Oh, sorry Pansy, for not being in love with you!" He tutted. "Anyway, I'm going to Potions, don't wanna be late."
"Draco. How are so calm? You've got a soul expression on you!"
"Eh," was all he said as he shrugged and walked out of the hall, leaving his friends behind.
Unbeknownst to him, as Draco walked out the hall, someone followed him.
Hermione was sitting at Gryffindor table, scribbling furiously at a piece of parchment. She was furious, fuming, mad, completely livid, infuriated and more than anything, upset! That... that FERRET! She knew she had not got into his bed last night and god knows he had probably taken advantage of her. Ron and Harry were watching her worried, seeing as they hadn't dared question why she was so mad or even why she was in bed with Malfoy. She denied the entire incident over and over, and they wanted to survive at least until the end of the year.
Quite a few people from the Slytherin table were staring at Malfoy. She HATED HIM!
She glanced up and Crabbe laughed, looking between her and Malfoy and wiping away a tear. This was humiliating and people were laughing at her! When she had woke up this morning she was in shock to find Ron and Malfoy fighting on the floor and yelling at each other.
"MALFOY! If you've touched her I'll kill you!" Ron had yelled as he got the upper hand in the situation.
"Aww, do you not like me touching her? What a shame, because she did!"
Of course, that statement there, that was a lie. Deep down, she knew nothing had happened. But Ron and Harry didn't know that. Malfoy was lying! Why did he do that? And no matter how much she denied that lie, she was sure Ron and Harry did not believe her, because after all, she couldn't explain why she was in bed with him in the first place. She couldn't even remember being in bed with him. Had this whole world gone mad? Thinking about it alternatively, did that actually happen? Was everything that happened this morning a figment of her imagination? She tried not to think about it.
Hermione was ignoring all the strange looks she was getting. She simply scribbled away, her hand twitching madly and her stomach swirling. Was she still ill? She couldn't understand why she kept feeling so weird in her stomach.
After a while, when she had calmed down, she looked in shock at her paper. Had she actually wrote that? She didn't even realise she was forming words on the paper.
"Why do you do this?
Why is everything my fault?
How come I'm the bad one?
When you're the one in the wrong.
How come all my truth,
Gets turned into lies by you.
And how come everyone laughs,
When I walk in the room.
I'm asking why you do this?
Why you cause me pain?
But you just smirk and laugh in my face,
Then turn on me again.…"
Okay… she was officially freaked out. She turned to Ron sitting beside her.
"I didn't write that," she said, holding up the paper to Ron, looking stressed and nodded in an attempt to be sure.
"Erm, yeah you did 'Mione, we just watched you." He looked at Harry across from him with a worried expression. "Erm, are you okay Herm?" he asked, putting an arm around her and holding her protectively, a gesture that should have shown comfort, but she didn't feel it.
"Oh yeah… I'm fine," she said, her voice very high and a huge scary smile on her face right before she broke down into tears on Ron's shoulder. Ron looked petrified at this; she had never acted like this before. She was acting completely mental.
"Herm, why don't you go and have a lie down, maybe you shouldn't go to classes today…" Hermione just sobbed harder into his shoulder.
"I n-n-need to, g-go to potions first, g-g-got essay and need homework," she mumbled, words muffled and stuttered. People on the Gryffindor table looked at her sympathetically.
Lavender muttered to Parvati, "Probably stressed… Poor thing, she works so hard."
Harry and Ron looked at each other with knowing looks as they heard this. This must be what was wrong. Lately, she was obsessed with work. They had told her it would catch up with her, in an attempt to get her to stop. Who knew they would be right for once?
The three friends walked out of the hall, Ron carrying Hermione in his arms They walked all the way to Gryffindor tower, not caring they were five minutes late for Potions by the time they reached the tower. They were both talking about how Hermione and Malfoy had gone completely mental; staying with Hermione in the common room until they were sure she was going to be okay.
Meanwhile, down in Potions odd things were happening, things that really would confirm the suspicions the two boys had…
By the time they walked into the Potions classroom, all they saw was the class in hysterics, people laughing so hard they were clutching their stomachs as Malfoy was giving a very angry Snape a lap dance…
There was something desperately wrong with that boy.
(1) Minger (British Slang, offensive) An unattractive person (of either sex).
"War" is a soul song written by Norman Whitfield and Barrett Strong for the Motown label in 1969. Edwin Starr's version is most known. "The Phantom of the Opera" (original title: Le Fantôme de l'Opéra) is a novel by French writer Gaston Leroux, it was made into a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. "SexyBack" is a song by American singer–songwriter Justin Timberlake from his second studio album, FutureSex/LoveSounds (2006).
Fanfiction by Faith Valconbridge. This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.