Shattered Soul

Chapter 5- How about… Leonard?

When Lenny was born, I had just turned five. Almost five years of being my parents' boy, the favorite, the only one, the center of all their attention. Suddenly, everything changed. And it changed months before his arrival. Since the day my mom returned home with the result of those analysis which said positive, everything home began to spin around that very event. The room next to mine, which was being reserved for a special occasion, changed completely: fish cloth over there, new curtains and tapestry, plush dolls, dark blue crib, berry-colored bathtub, cake-colored lamps, and I was forbidden from going in there. When I managed to sneak into that room, the murmur of words: don' touch it, don't get it dirty, don't go in there, get out of there, haunted me.

Mom no longer spoke with me as often, when Pop had the day off he spent it with Mom and the baby inside her womb. Actually, I didn't mind at first, but that began to change after some time. All the time, my parents, Luca, and the members of the mob only spoke of diets and exercises for my mom and names for the future baby.

"Say hi to your little brother," my mom would take my fin, put in on her tummy, expected a movement and hugged me tightly.

But I did not share that happiness. What I really wanted was my mom saying she had been wrong, that she was not pregnant and that she was getting fat just because she wanted to.

I became quieter and grouchier than before. In only spoke with my friend Jack, the son of one of the members of the mob, although sometimes I wished I hadn't:

"When the baby is born, they won't love me anymore," I complained

"Yeah," he told me, "babies are always preferred over the older ones. Like Aaron, since his little sister was born they don't love him anymore and scold him for everything,"

"You think when the baby is born my parents will forget about me?"

"Don't exaggerate. They love him, although very little,"

I imagined that when the baby was born, Mom and Pop would no longer care about me. I was filled with terror.

Nobody spoke to me anymore. They only spoke about the baby my mother had inside her womb. I looked for my maternal grandmother's company, but it was no use. She spent her time sewing and making hats and scarves for her future grandson. She no longer sewed anything for me. Besides, I didn't dare to tell anyone what I felt. I thought everyone would think of me like a bad and jealous boy. My only comfort was to speak with my grandfather Vitor. I called him secretly, because, since it was long distance, my parents didn't allow me. he, as good as he is, came wherever he could.

"My boy," he told me, "it's normal that everyone is looking after your mother and the baby she'll have. Don't you see that expecting mothers and the babies in their tummies need a lot of care?"

"I don't need care anymore because I'm big?"

"It's not like that, child. You too need cares because, although you're big, you still have need of the elders. But since you're smart and good, you also can help your mommy and daddy and understand them, instead of being mad at them because they can't be with you as much as before. You'll see, Frankie, when your little brother is born you'll take care of him… and when he's a little older, you're going to play with him…"

I closed my eyes and sighed, back in the present. All of this remembering made me feel sad, for some reason… perhaps remembering the time when I was completely ignored opened up a wound that I thought had healed long ago…

"Are you alright?" Sonia asked me

"Yeah, it's just that…" I looked at the ground, "that time… I felt as if I was a…"

I couldn't bring myself to say it.

"…like a ghost?" Sonia finished for me.

I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

"Yes…" I whispered in an almost inaudible tone

"Do you want to stop?"

"No, no… I'm okay,"

Then I continued with the story

Lenny was a VERY expected baby. I perfectly remember the day he was born.

It was Saturday. And like all Saturdays, my maternal grandparents had come since early, and my grandpa Vitor had arrived since Thursday from Italy to expect childbirth. The pains had started in mom but she didn't say anything until two o' clock, when we had just sat down to eat.

"It's time," she said, putting her fins behind on her waist and making a pain gesture.

Pop quickly got up in alarm and dropped the salt with his fin. The salt poured over the table.

"Oh, no!" Luca yelled as he began to try and wipe the salt with his tentacles, "its bad luck for seven years!"

Pop shot him an angry glare. Sometimes Luca's superstitions were funny to him, but right then… In the hospital, we waited and waited to get news from my mother. Pop was with her in delivery…

Lenny was born at eight o' clock.

A nurse shark went to tell us it had been a boy and in a moment, when he was taken to the cribs, we would be called so that we could see him. after about an hour, the same nurse announced we could go to see the baby. I had tried to glance at my baby brother, but the adults were blocking the view. After some time, we went to see Mom. She was still weak from childbirth, but she had enough strength to stay awake. When we entered the room, Pop was next to her holding her fin.

"Are you sure you're okay, honey?" he was smiling at her

"I'm alright, sweetie…" she was smiling back at him.

"Hey, the baby's beautiful!" my maternal grandmother, Ana, got closer to my mother and congratulated her.

"Congratulations, boss!" Luca swam towards Pop, "it's a healthy boy!"

"Thanks, Luca…"

While the others congratulated my parents, I swam out of the room into the corridor and sat down in one of the benches. I thought that they wouldn't notice, anyway

"Is something wrong, son?" I heard Pop's voice. I looked up and saw him swimming closer to me and sat next to me.

"I'm okay, Pop…" I lied, "really…"

I felt his fin over my back

"Franklin," he called me by my full name, "I know my kid enough to know that something is bothering him,"

I couldn't take it any longer, as hard as I tried. I sniffed and started to cry, hugging my Pop tightly and nuzzling against his chest. I felt Pop's fins wrap around me.

"Shh," he soothed me, "don't cry, it's okay…"

I rested my head against his chest.

"Do you and mom still love me?" I asked him with a broken voice

Pop looked down at me, confused.

"What do you mean?" he inquired

"Do you still love me? Aren't you going to forget about me?"

"Don't ever say that, Frankie… you're our first son. Just because we had another baby doesn't mean we will love you less… No one will ever replace you," Pop assured me with a grin

I smiled and rested my head on his chest once again. Suddenly, Luca swam towards us in a hurry.

"Boss, the baby's here!" he announced to us in excitement

"I'll be right there," Pop replied before looking at me, "are you ready to meet your little brother?"

I nodded eagerly.

When we swam into the room, we noticed Mom was holding a small bundle in her fins. It moved slightly, Mom cooed at it. Pop and I swam closer.

"Lino, there's someone here who wants to meet you," she smiled at Pop as she handled him the bundle.

Pop looked down at my baby brother and smiled at him.

"Hi, son," he whispered

I swam up to Pop's shoulder and took a glance at my little brother. He looked so cute when sleeping… he was resting his head against Pop's chest and every now and then struggled slightly. I couldn't help but smile at him.

"And how will you l him?" Luca inquired

"How about Angello?" my grandma Ana suggested

"Come on, dear! Let Jasmine and her husband pick the name of their pup, would ya?" my grandpa Mario told her

Suddenly, the baby sneezed. Then he opened his eyes slightly, which turned out to be of a cheerful shade of green, just like Mom's eyes. When the pup saw me, he laughed and held his little fins up to me.

"Aww. Frankie, your little brother loves you already," Mom smiled at me

Pop cooed at the pup and cradled him in his fins softly; my brother yawned, showing his lack of teeth, and snuggled deeper into Pop's embrace before falling asleep again.

"How about… Leonard?" I suggested in an almost inaudible tone.

However, Mom and Pop heard me.

"Leonard… I like it," Mom commented

"Sounds nice…" Pop caressed my newly-named brother's cheek affectionately, "Leonard…"

Leonard struggled slightly and hid his face in Pop's chest.

Back to the present, I could not contain a tear that rolled down my cheek. This was the first time in years since the death of my grandpa Vitor that I had cried; I hoped Sonia had fallen asleep…

"Hey, are yo crying?" she spoke out of nowhere

Damn it! had she seen me? I quickly wiped the tear away and looked away

"What? No… I never cry…" I replied indignantly, but my voice was shaky, I felt something touch my shoulder, I turned my head around and saw Sonia had indeed placed her fin on my shoulder.

"Look I know how you are feeling…" she whispered to me

"It's just that…" I took a glance at Lenny; he still looked cute when he slept, "… I wish there was some way to stay… with Lenny."

Sonia looked at the ground for a few seconds and then sighed. Then she looked back at me.

"Look, I'm going to tell you strictly secret information… but I like you, so I'll tell you,"

I looked at her in confusion; what was she talking about?

"… There's a way to bring you back to life,"