Thank you to everyone who reviewed my previous two fanfictions (Orbiting and Miserable) - especially Antonia-x and Sergeant Rachel . Here is another one shot for Sam and Dylan lovers, but this time written from Dylan's perspective. It is set post Death and Doughnuts.
"You can have my doughnut Grumpy."
He worried about her in spite of himself. As he walked along the tow path, Dervla by his side as always, his thoughts had yet again drifted to his wife. Initially it had annoyed him that she was invading his mind more and more, but following the events of the preceding day – when he had genuinely thought he might lose her – it was a strange comfort to him.
Yesterday had been one of the longest shifts he could remember and it had felt like time had stood still whilst she had been caught up in accidents, explosions and toxic gas spills. He knew his ex-wife never did anything half-heartedly but her constant determination to throw herself into dangerous situations had always been able to make him sweat. Whilst he had spent the majority of the day annoyed at her for putting him in that position yet again, he had felt nothing but sheer relief when she had returned relatively unscathed.
His sleep last night could be described as disturbed at best and he knew he had woken Dervla by shouting out at least once, having awoken to see sad dog eyes staring at him from by his bedside at 4am. His wife's face, haunted by the day's experiences, kept appearing in his normally peaceful sleep, mixed up with the disquieting image of her putting that patient's erratic son in a headlock.
The day at work hadn't exactly started well, what with the new Doctor talking about death and doughnuts before he had even started work, but this had soon been displaced by bickering with Dr Nicholls over her interference in the fireman's case. Not only was it apparent she had spent all night sleeping by his hospital bed, she now appeared to be spending her time sorting out his family circumstances rather than focus on her own job and patients.
It wasn't that he didn't understand why she was interested in the outcome of the case and she should have known that out of all people he knew what it was like to become involved in a patient's life. However it was his own personal experience and the fact he could see how on edge she was that led him to questioning her motives. To say Dr Nicholls didn't find it easy to deal with emotional cases was an understatement on a good day, but she was clearly still wrung out and being influenced by the intensity of her connection with this fireman from the day before.
He had spent the majority of the morning trying to convince her to leave this particular case alone as it had nothing more to do with them or their department, but looking back he could see the irony in the fact he had then spent most of his time backwards and forwards with her to check on his progress too. If she hadn't been so stressed out she would have called him out on this at some point, but she had only taken her focus away from the fireman for a few minutes here and there to treat someone in the ED.
He had noticed she introduced him as her ex, whereas he had stated his name when he had first met the fireman's wife. He had never defined himself by his relationship to anyone else, her included, but he did wonder if she would always identify herself by their marriage. In ten years' time would she still be calling herself Dr Keogh's wife? This led to a whole series of spin off questions in his mind, including whether technically she would still be his wife in ten years' time, but those were questions they had yet to sit down and answer.
Watching her try to resuscitate her fireman after a whole day trying to re-unite him with his wife was difficult, but she had eventually accepted he was gone and called time of death at just gone 3pm. He had watched this man's wife forgive him and stand by him at this dark moment and despite everything he found that reassuring. He knew instinctively if that was him lying on the hospital bed, Samantha would be there holding his hand and he hoped she knew that this would be reciprocated if that time ever came.
As they all gathered in the staffroom she had looked a mixture of stunned and exhausted, and it saddened him somewhat to see her so distressed. This had been lifted somewhat by the receipt of the flowers, although he had seen the silent speculation in his colleagues' heads as to whether he may be the sender before Dr Nicholls had clarified their origin. The last time they had received flowers together had been at their wedding ceremony several years prior, but he knew how much receiving them had meant to her now just as then.
She had wanted them to share the flowers, but that was neither appropriate nor practical, and he knew they would make her smile the following morning if she took them home. She had commented that she knew him better than he might think, which given everything that had happened over the past two days and how close in their thinking they appeared to be sometimes he had not been able to dispute. She had jokingly offered him her doughnut in return for the flowers, calling him grumpy in the process and he remembered he had graciously taken two doughnuts before he left the room.
His trail of thought finally dissipated and he looked down to his side to find Dervla staring back up at him. They had walked further than they would do normally and found themselves back in town. In fact they found themselves outside of the flat of one Dr Samantha Nicholls. He only knew the address from re-directing her post, post which usually arrived addressed to "Mrs S Keogh".
The lights in the flat were off and he silently hoped she was sound asleep in bed. He stood there for a few moments watching the window and thinking of all the times he'd been the one to comfort her after a difficult shift. Half of him wanted to be in there right now holding her as she drifted off, but the other half of him knew how much things had changed. His earlier comment to her about men in uniform hadn't been meaningless after all and it still hurt that she had been the one to throw it all away.
He turned back down the road and walked off the way he had come, Dervla like a shadow by his side. As they turned the corner at the end of the road he glanced back once more at her window before her flat was out of sight. He would see her tomorrow back at work and every day thereafter, that was a certainty. And whilst he had been annoyed at her for invading his new life at first, now he couldn't imagine Holby ED without her. If she was going to continue to be part of his world they would have to talk properly about their marital status at some point, but for now he was okay with just being there to keep an eye on her and catch her if she fell.
He knew she would do the same for him. Even if she did think he was grumpy.
She had given up her doughnut for him and that had to count for something.