Darren slammed the door and plopped onto the floor, furious. Chris is somewhere out there walking the rainy Chicago streets upset with him, and he can't do a damn thing about it!
Not only was he experiencing the most supernatural occurrence in the world, but it was making things way more complicated than necessary.
In the back of his mind, a small voice squeaked at him, This is probably karma coming back to bite you in the ass, Darren.. "Oh, just shut up!" he grumbled to himself. He threw a pillow across the room, and then buried his face in his hands.
When he started rubbing his temples, he started to feel guilty. He shouldn't be mad at his fellow Starkid. This wasn't her fault. She was his best friend, and in the same exact situation as him. Neither of you asked for any of this. Things just kept happening at really inconvenient times, but were probably inevitable.
Maybe this happened for a reason Darren reasoned with himself. He then shook his head, disbelieving.
He normally doesn't operate under the assumption that karma was real or that the universe is an omni-benevolent force that likes to teach its minuscule beings lessons on life; but look where he is now! He has switched bodies with another person. This was happening. This was real. Or maybe I'm crazy, and having a really vivid drunken dream… Gah! Darren hated this feeling of being out of control of his own life.
As much as he loved what he was doing, it was already hectic enough as it was. He had to fly back to LA in a few days to film so more Glee, and then go all the way back to New York to film Imogene. Your fellow Starkid would probably have no idea what to do. He wouldn't burden her with his lack of sleep and demanding schedule. They had to fix this. Soon.
Meanwhile… let's get out of this hideous sweater… Darren decided with himself. His fellow Starkid was super awesome, but she definitely needed to change her look once in a while. She tended to hide herself in baggy shirts and torn jeans. And if it was nice outside, she'd wear a revealing tank top, but then cover it up with a sweater. Like today. No. Too hot for sweaters. Darren doesn't like sweaters.
Darren removed his clothes, keeping his eyes glued to the wall. Yeah, he was slightly curious about body he was currently in, but he really didn't want to be rude. You know, cross boundaries.
Then like a slap to the face, the image of her (in his body) and Chris laying bed naked flashed into his mind. His astute gentlemen-ness popped like a bubble.
He knew he was letting that chemical process called jealousy cloud his judgment, but at the moment he threw all fucks he gave out of the window.
He walked straight up to the tall full length mirror leaning against the door and just started stripping. He almost had a change a mind, (because he was kind of feeling like a dick) but it was too late. He was stark naked as a woman in front of the mirror, just staring. He felt himself trail his fingers down the soft skin of her stomach. The woman in the mirror looked intrigued.
If he was going to be honest with himself, she was actually quite appealing, and he was surprised he never noticed before. He always noticed she was cute and had a pretty face, with long eyelashes, full lips and colorful eyes; but this was different. She's quite sexy. Once that thought crossed his mind, he saw the woman in the mirror's face flush in embarrassment.
She wasn't thin, but in the good way. The curvy, voluptuous way. She had perky, full breasts that almost perfect in shape and size. Before he realized what he was doing, he let his hand travel up, and he cupped his hand around one of them, caressing it. Firm... wow.
Oh my god! He jerked his hand away, and strode toward the closet without a backward glance. That was probably the most awkward moment of his life, ever.
He looked through her vast collection of clothes, many of which he hasn't seen her wear in a long time, or has never seen her wear ever before. She probably didn't have the heart to throw some of the old stuff away. Darren smiled. She was kind of like him.
He wasn't sure if he left his dignity behind, or he was still feeling leftover shock waves of vindictiveness, but he decided to choose one of the more risqué tops that would definitely show off her figure, and a pair of dark blue skinny jeans that still had the tag on them.
He laughed out loud, wondering how the others will react.
He felt like he was being immature, but hey, might as well. She got to have sex with Chris Colfer. His freaking boyfriend. Well, so… he was going to have the most fun he could as a woman for the time being.
—-
It felt like your heart was sitting in the pit of your stomach. It had been at least an hour, and Chris still hadn't come back. To distract yourself, you made some hot chocolate with an ungodly amount of marshmallows, and positioned a stool to face the door so you would be the first to know when Chris got home.
Moses and Brosenthal pulled up stools at some point, and tried to have "man talk" but it was in vain when they noticed they really weren't eliciting any responses out of you. Later, Julia and Lauren came by and started rubbing your back, offering words of comfort. You were grateful, but none of them could help the overwhelming feeling of guilt. Poor Darren, he already had so much to deal with. You felt like this was your entire fault.
Darren was still in your room. You considered going after him when Chris first left, but you decided against it. You were giving him time. You were giving them both time. Oh, Chris. You wished so bad you could make it up to them. You and Darren just needed to have a talk, probably.
Eventually, you finished your cocoa, and placed your head in your palms, staring into space. You were so out of it, you didn't hear Darren's door creak open. It wasn't until you heard Joey's "Erm…" and AJ's, "Whoa!" and Nick's, "Hubba, Hubba!" you snapped out if it.
You turned to see what the commotion was all about, and to your horror you saw Darren (still obviously in your body) dressed in a green, black and white polka-dot tube top that laced in the back like a corset (that you wore with a Halloween costume one year), which gave everyone a free show of your belly, and those jeans your mom got for your birthday that you thought were too tight. Which were now accenting every curve of your giant ass for all to see. You had to blink rapidly to make sure what you were seeing was real.
"D-Duhh… Um," You nearly tripped out of your stool in attempt to run toward him. You grabbed his arm, and glared. "What are you doing? More importantly, what are you wearing?" you say through gritted teeth.
He just laughed, his eyes sparkling with amusement. "I just thought to change it up, you know," he replied in an innocent voice. A baby-like voice you never used and it made you cringe.
Walker strolled over giving Darren a once over. "You look like… Sookie Stackhouse."
"Well, I definitely approve," Brolden claimed, wiggling his eyebrows.
Oh, God.
Darren started laughing joyously at the look on your face, a shrill and high pitched sound that echoed across the kitchen. You would have missed the soft knocking if you hadn't been waiting for it for the past hour. You dashed to the door and nearly threw it open on its hinges.
"DARREN!"
Before you could register what was happening, a body flew at you almost knocking you to the floor. A wild Lea Michele had appeared out of nowhere, squeezing you in a tight embrace. You looked up, and to your immense relief you saw Chris standing with a crowd of familiar faces, looking amused.
It was EVERYONE. Cory, Harry, Jenna, Heather, Amber, Ashley, Kevin, Naya, Mark, Chord, and Dianna; all of which were dressed very sharp. The whole lot! You couldn't believe it, so you just stared at them, open-mouthed in wonder. Lea dashed inside and started hugging everyone else. You heard Lauren squeal with excitement.
"I meant to tell you I didn't come into town alone, but I swear they followed me here, this wasn't my idea," he admitted, smiling sheepishly, yet still dimpling. You could have swept him up into your arms in that moment because of how precious he was tilting his head and looking at you with innocent eyes.
Darren strutted toward the door, grinning eagerly. "Hey guys, what's going on?" he said in his best laid back manner, but it sounded weird coming from your voice.
The Glee cast eyed him curiously as he hammed it up, placing a hand on his hip, leaning against you and flailing his hand. There was a brief moment of silence.
"... We haven't been introduced, I'm Cory!" he towered above the rest, leaning over offering a hand to Darren, a ridiculously stupid look on his face.
Ugh. Darren was sorta making you look like a skank. You rolled your eyes to the ceiling groaning in displeasure.
"Hey, I'm Mark.. I've met the other Starkids, but not you," he was wiggling his eyebrows and was now elbowing Cory in the ribs so he could also hold out his hand. Darren graciously shook their hands like he had never seen them before and introduced your name properly, but he was smiling way too flirtatiously than was necessary.
"Yes, I'm the newest and coolest member of Starkid. I'm Darren's BFF. I can't believe he never mentioned me before," Darren gasped in mock surprise.
"Well, nobody mentioned how gorgeous you were," Heather said, eyeing Darren interestedly. "I mean, damn!" Naya seconded. You felt color rise to your face. You tugged at your collar and coughed nervously.
"So...," you trailed off, standing there very awkwardly. Probably something Darren never did.
Kevin noticed and looked questioningly at you. Man there were way too many awesome people in one space that you can handle. But you shook your limbs out and started to laugh a bit. There was no room to be a fangirl. Not today.
"Don't you guys have more important things to do besides showing up at Starkid residence," Joey joked, coming up from behind you and started to bro-fist a few of the boys, kissed the girls on the cheeks and gave them playful side-hugs. The rest of the Starkids peeked their heads curiously, then spoke out greetings and recognition.
"We're here, on brief hiatus from Glee, to kidnap you all to have an awesome, fun-filled night out on the town," Lea declared brightly, fingers twined with Lauren and Jaime, swinging their hands.
"As long as there's tequila, I'm in," Brolden amended.
"You would! You dirty slut," you sneered.
"Yo, Darren! Why all the hate?" he returned. You chuckle in reply.
Ashley and Amber grinned at Chris knowingly. "Chris likes some tequila. So Darren, you change and then let's go!" Naya slapped your butt. You looked down and noticed you were still in a rumpled thin t-shirt a few day old jeans.
Heather reached out toward Darren's (well technically your) arm and said, "Meanwhile, I'll escort this lovely lady out to the limo,"
"Feel free to not take your sweet ass time, chop chop!" Ashley snapped her fingers, and then in a rush a few Starkids dashed to freshen up, while the rest joined the Glee gang out into the now extremely crowded hallway. Joey grabbed a beanie and immediately fell into step beside Mark and Chord, jabbering cheerfuly. You wished they wouldn't be so loud, because your tenants already probably hated you; but you couldn't burst the giddy atmosphere.
Harry hooted, "Let's fucking do this!"
Your eyes lingered on Chris a few moments before he locked gazes with you, and he smiled assuringly. He then turned his back because Amber was tugging on him.
You ran a hand through your curls, sighing deeply and made your way to Darren's bedroom. You noticed Julia came out of the bathroom wearing a lovely purple dress shirt and black slacks, so you waved at her. She didn't quite look you in the eye, which you thought was strange because her smile looked uncomfortable, not quite reaching her eyes.
She walked passed you, and once your hand was on the doorknob she spoke up.
"Hey, Darren?"
You turned. "Yeah?"
"Put on a black shirt. Actually, red. No green. It'll make your eyes stand out. Chris will love it," she said softly, affectionately.
"Okay. Thanks," although still slightly confused, you flash her one of Darren's eye-crinkling smiles.
This was definitely going to be an interesting night.