You looked up at the night sky and started counting the stars as you walked. When you reach 150, you gave up. Letting out a loud sigh, you looked around. You had been walking for over 2 hours straight but you didn't feel tired for some reason. Usually a 5 minute walk was enough to take the breath out of you but strangely tonight you just weren't tired. Maybe it was because you had so much running through your head. Yeah, that's probably it. Too busy thinking to notice any pains or signs of fatigue. You continued walking down the dark street. There was absolutely no other soul in sight. It was simply you and the shadows of the night.
At first you didn't know where to go but after a while, you found yourself heading towards the old wharf. It was another one of your favourite places. This was where you and Carlos first camped out. You had to admit it wasn't exactly the ideal location for a camp night but it was better than nothing. That was the night where you guys had truly become best friends. You guys shared all your secrets that night and everything was perfect. You couldn't remember a time you had ever felt so comfortable with anyone, even with your own parents. It was also that night that you realised you were in love with Carlos. You were only 12 but you knew for certain that what you felt was love and for the next 4 years, you were proven right. Not for a single moment did your feelings ever change for him.
As you made a right turn, you had finally reached the wharf. You could hear the soft splashes of waves as they crashed into the side of the old abandoned platform. The path was lit up by a small number of street lamps that managed to only cover about two-thirds of the ground; however, despite the lack of light, you could tell there was no one else around. Perfect, you thought.
You slowly walked to the end of the wharf and sat on the edge of the wall, with your legs hanging off towards the water. You looked down as the waves moved underneath you and you could see the moon's reflection, glistening in the water ever so slightly. You smiled at the sight.
"Such a beautiful night" you sighed as you looked back up at the sky, talking to no one but yourself.
You loved this wharf so much. That one night you spent here with Carlos was absolutely perfect. Every memory that came with this wharf brought a smile to your face. Which is why you chose to spend your last few moments here.
Tonight's my last night you thought to yourself as a hopeless smile came across your face.
Tonight was going to be your last night, not as a part of a real family, but your last night ever. While you were walking around, you thought about everything. You thought about how happy you were as a kid with you parents, how your friendship with Carlos was and is perfect, how your life was going to be completely ruined from tomorrow onwards and how all this happiness was going to be shattered in a instant as if it were an illusion. You didn't want to lose this sense of freedom and joy. You wanted to savour it forever, which was why you decided to end your life tonight. It came to you as a mutual decision between….well, yourself. You weren't scared nor were you particularly excited about it. You just knew this was the right thing to do in order to preserve all the good memories and feelings. If you ended it all now, you didn't have to feel any more pain and could leave this world a happy girl.
"This is it for me I guess" you whispered, still staring up at the starry sky "there's still so much I want to do…I never got the chance to meet Ellen DeGeneres, haven't been to prom yet, never been asked out, never got to travel the world or meet a hot British guy." You let out a chuckle as you went through your life to-do list. "Never got to have a proper first kiss or learnt how to drive. Never had a chance to have my big dream wedding or ski dive. Never got to finish school or earn a scholarship to London."
You took a long deep breath and let out a sigh. "So much left to do…never got to do any of these things. I really wanted to do it all…but most of all, I wanted…" you felt your eyes begin to water and you smiled, wiping away any tears "so stupid. Why am I crying?...ha of course you know why you're crying….i never got to do the number one thing on my list….to tell Carlos I loved him"
As soon as these words left your mouth, you heard a guitar strumming behind you. The sound scared you and you let out a soft squeal. You turned around to see where the music was coming from and what you saw took you completely by surprise.
There underneath a street light, was your best friend with a guitar in his hands and roses in front of him on the ground. Carlos was staring straight at you as he began to sing.
I've been right there for every minute and this time, its no different. Whatever happens you should knowwwwww….
God he sounded so beautiful. You had never heard Carlos sing before. Heck you didn't even know he had that voice inside of him.
Cause you're not alonneee girll, look over your shouulderr .You don't have to wonder cause you know you know you know, cause you're not alone giirrl, I'll be there to hold ya.
You stood up with tears rolling down your cheeks and walked towards the singing boy.
I'll sit there till it's over and you know you know you know that you're not aloneeeeeeeeeeee. That you're not aloneeeeeeeeee.
You were now right in front of him, watching the love of your life sing to you. Not once did your eye contact ever break. Carlos smiled as he sang the last line.
You're not aloneee.
He then put down the guitar and picked up the roses and gave them to you. You took them into your arms and whispered his name as he grabbed you around the waist and spoke in a low quiet voice.
"You are not alone. You never were. You said that no one loved you. But you're so wrong. I love you. So much. Every since the day we first met in the tunnel and we shared my cupcake, I haven't been able to stop loving you."
You looked at Carlos, seeing if he was telling the truth and not only saying it to make you feel better. You expected to see uncertainty in his eyes but instead found something else. You saw passion, honesty and truth in his eyes and smile. "Carlos…."
"You are not alone in this world. I will be here by your side no matter what happens, protecting you from anything that may ever cause you pain. I never want to see you shed another tear" he continued, wiping away a teardrop from your cheeks with his finger tip. "Please don't ever put yourself in danger like that again. I love you."
You had so much to say to him, so much to confess. Over the past 4 years you have been waiting for this moment and you had a million things to say but all you could manage, the only words that could really describe how you felt were "I love you too Carlos"
After hearing you say those 5 words, the boy's smile grew even bigger and brighter. "Really?"
"Yes, really" You wanted to kiss him so badly, but you were waiting for the right moment.
"I love you" he whispered once again
"I love you too" you both began to lean in to kiss but before your lips touched, Carlos pulled away.
"Are you sureeeeee?" he teased, lightly tapping a finger against your nose. You couldn't help but laugh.
"Yes I'm sure. Now shut up and kiss me."
He put a hand on your cheek and stuck his tongue out "you don't have to tell me twice"
You closed your eyes and felt your lips come in contact with his. At first the kiss was slow and uncertain but as time passed, the nerves went away and it grew more and more passionate. Everything around you simply disappeared as you melted in Carlos' arm. Nothing else mattered except you and him.
He then slowly broke off the kiss and placed a soft kiss on your forehead as he spoke "let's spend the rest of the night here and just forget everything else. Just you and me. We can finally have that very long overdue campout. Whaddya think?"
You smiled at the thought of reliving that childhood memory and nodded yes.