I don't know why I'm frightened
I know my way around here
The cardboard trees, the painted seas
The sound here
He re-slipped back into the patterns of McKinley High far too easily.
With Karofsky gone, the bullying wasn't completely gone, but it was better.
The hockey kids didn't really have a lot against him and they seemed to prefer the verbal form of bullying to the physical, so thankfully he avoided the old locker shoves and slushie tosses. He was only just getting re-acquainted with his wardrobe and he liked being back in his nice clothes, his old skin.
He felt like himself again.
But there was still that hollowness in his chest that had never been there before.
It was the gape created by the loss of Blaine's presence.
He had been a part of him at Dalton, and now at McKinley he was gone.
Yes, a world to rediscover
But I'm not in any hurry
And I need a moment
But he felt like he was finding his way back at McKinley. His friends had welcomed him back with open arms (quite literally) and he had received perhaps, more hugs in his first few days than he had in a lifetime.
But he wasn't complaining.
At Dalton he felt… scared. He had tried to avoid contact with everybody, limiting himself to the occasional high five.
It was odd that although he was safer there than he had ever been at McKinley, here he was able to walk arm and arm with his friends down the hall, arms slung with warm camaraderie around each other.
The whispered conversations in over crowded hallways
The atmosphere is thrilling here as always
Feel the early morning madness
Feel the magic in the making
Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye
But the best part of his return was being back at New Directions.
Somehow, even without the expensive acoustics and leather couches, his old, cramped choir room was his heaven. He smiled at his friends across the room as he sang to them, his happiness bursting through the lyrics, his smile radiant.
He was home again.
And this time will be bigger!
And brighter than we knew it
So watch me fly
We all know I can do it
His eyes traced over them, taking in their shining eyes and sweet smiles. Brittany, nestled with her boyfriend Artie, Puck, grinning at him next to his girl Mercedes who was beaming for him. Rachel, tears in her eyes as she clutched at her heart dramatically. Santana as she tried to hide her emotions behind a small smile. Finn, his smile proud and large as he clasped at his girlfriend's hand. Mike and Tina, both deeply moved.
Even Mr Schuester who was nodding along enthusiastically with the performance…
Could I stop my hands from shaking?
Has there ever been a moment
With so much to live for?
They were his family.
His heart swelled as he came down from the height of his performance high, closing the song softly.
The whispered conversations in over crowded hallways
The atmosphere is thrilling here as always
Feel the early morning madness
Feel the magic in the making
Why, everything's as if we never said goodbye
He blinked back tears in the bask of their enthusiastic standing ovation. His hands shook beside him as he accepted their warm embraces.
But as good as it felt to be home, he couldn't ignore that pang in his heart.
There was still something missing – and that something was Blaine.
The old patterns of the old times resumed. Just as the song said, everything was still the same. The same old boring lesson plans, the same ridiculous glee club drama, the same crazy Sue Sylvester, the same cruel cheerleaders, the same stupid jocks and the same silly but wonderful friends.
But as the weeks drifted by, Kurt felt the dull ache in his heart intensify. He couldn't get Blaine out of his head anymore than Finn could multiply fractions.
He had consumed him; his mind, his thoughts, his heart.
And then one sunny summer morning, everything changed. The dull ache was replaced by an odd nervousness, the butterflies in his stomach almost like an omen.
Something was happening.
He was sitting in the courtyard, wincing under the harsh sunny light when he heard Puck crow above him.
"It looks like our little Hummel has visitors!"
Kurt felt his eyebrows fly up in surprise as he whirled around expectantly, his heart catching in his throat at the sight of the traditional Dalton blazers and one singular black leather jacket that made his stomach flutter nervously.
"Kurt," Blaine smiled, looking rather smug at the look of surprise on Kurt's face, "you said goodbye to the Warblers, but you didn't give us a chance to pay our due respects… and I know it's a little late, but these guys…" he sighed, frowning a little to himself, "-I- we all missed you."
Kurt felt a pang in his heart at the admission. How he had missed them…
"So we came up with this little something for you…" Wes chimed in, shooting Kurt a quick wink.
Kurt shook his head, disbelief washing over him as the Warblers assumed their positions, formal lines across the stone steps, their smiles bright as they began to harmonise behind their lead who stood front and centre, a sad expression melting behind his playful eyes as he began to sing.
I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete
Behind him, he briefly registered the chime of a piano as the school band joined in on accompaniment; but his eyes stayed on Blaine, his heart welling at the sincerity in his voice.
Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're going to let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin
Rushing past him, Blaine dashed down the stone steps, taking the pianist's spot at the brilliant instrument, his fingers practiced as they danced across the keys.
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
One by one, the Warblers slowly approached him, circling him with hugs and handshakes. Kurt felt briefly overwhelmed. He'd never thought he'd ever get to see these guys again…
And yet, here they were.
And here was Blaine, singing his heart out to him, bearing his soul in the same way Kurt had done for him just last week.
And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
As the last of the Warblers said their final goodbyes, walking back up the stone steps, Blaine remained, his voice poignant and heart breaking as he held the last notes of the beautiful song.
And suddenly, Blaine was in his arms, clutching onto him tightly, head buried in his shoulder. Kurt stroked his back soothingly, feeling tears spring to his eyes as he held on for dear life.
"I don't want to say goodbye," Blaine choked out, his voice breaking slightly.
Kurt shook his head fiercely, refusing to loosen his hold on him. "I'm never saying goodbye to you."