Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
Not Another Very Potter Musical
Chapter Five
Teacher's Pet
Lily had gotten up extra early on Tuesday morning to get ready for class. Potions were first and she was excited to show off her talent as it was her best subject hands down. She fought with Colette about the mirror and time she spent in the bathroom, but it was adamant to her that she looked perfect before leaving their dorm.
And so what if she spent fifteen minutes deciding if her hair should be down or tied up with a white silk ribbon Petunia had given her for a birthday some time long ago? She finally decided on having her hair up and put on her prettiest, white beaded earrings.
Unlike Violet it didn't bother Lily that girls weren't allowed to wear trousers as part of their uniform. She thought the A-line skirt complemented her especially paired with the new Mary-Janes she had bought specifically for school that had just a little bit of heel. They were black patent leather and closed with a little strap around her ankle.
After one last twirl in front of the mirror Lily grabbed her brown leather book bag and headed to breakfast. Her intentions had been to head to the Ravenclaw table and not even spear any of the Gryffindors a look in case James was there, but she had barely entered the Great Hall before the Pink Witches started calling her and waving her over.
Determined not to let James know he'd gotten to her Lily turned on her heel with a smile on her face and moved to join the Gryffindors instead.
"Look it's the virgin Mary." Violet joked when she saw Lily's getup.
"Don't listen to her," Alice kindly said, making room for Lily to sit next to her "I think you look very pretty. Special occasion?"
Thinking she would've been much more comfortable explaining it to the Ravenclaw girls she'd sat with yesterday, Lily told them it was because she was looking forward to Potions and making a good impression.
The Marauders sat across from the Pink Witches and Sirius butted in "Oh old Sluggy will be impressed alright." He raised his eyebrows suggestively. Marlene kicked him under the table, but with her short legs she could barely reach.
"Forget about him," Violet advised as she cleared some space to sit on the table with her feet resting on the bench "Transfiguration is what you should be looking forward to."
"Why?" Lily asked noticing how much shorter Violet's skirt was than her own "Is it a good teacher?"
"McGonagall's alright," Violet waved her hand dismissively "But her apprentice, Jeremy Brown, is divine. Such a fox." She pretended to be fanning herself while Dorcas and Marlene nodded eagerly. The boys were busy seeing how many pieces of bacon they could fit in Sirius' mouth.
Alice hesitated "I don't really see it."
"You would've if you hadn't lost your mind a year ago." Violet commented and she quickly shielded herself when Alice threw a piece of bread at her. Lily kept quiet. She wasn't used to friends attacking each other the way these girls did, and especially that nobody seemed to get offended.
"Violet here is just jealous that I've had a boyfriend for a year and she can't keep one." Alice teased with a smirk.
Rolling her eyes Violet jumped off the table "I don't want a boy, I want a man." she said, closing the discussion before sauntering off. Noticing that the Marauders were about to be done with their bacon competition, Lily jumped up too, saying she'd better get to class, before she could risk James talking to her.
She easily found her way to the Potions room and was surprised to see that the only other student already there was Colette. They stood on each side of the door in awkward silence and it didn't even help when more students started showing up because they didn't know any of them and were both left out of conversations.
They both drew breaths of relief when Professor Slughorn made his way through the groups of people to unlock the classroom "Come now children, to your places." He waved them inside, but stopped Lily and Colette "Ah our newcomers. Pleased to meet you miss?" he looked at Colette first "Rousseau, Colette Rousseau sir."
"Very good and you miss?"
"Lily Evans." Lily nearly curtsied she was that intent on making a good impression. Everyone else had already sat down and Lily and Colette were forced to share a table. Immediately an invisible line was drawn, parting the table in half and they were both cautious not to let anything take the tiniest bit of space from the other.
"Today we are making an aging potion. Yes it's a tricky one, so follow the instructions carefully." Slughorn reminded the class as he wrote them on the board. Lily and Colette worked equally effective and reached the different stages of the potions simultaneously and it annoyed Lily greatly. She was planning to be a healer and therefore she had always focused mostly on Potions and Charms in school.
They just had time to finish the potion before class ended and Lily felt a surge of panic when she and Colette were standing in line to present their work to Slughorn and she knew for sure Colette's potion was just as good as her own. She was used to being the shining star in Potions and needed that bit of comfort after the chaos of the day before and adjusting to a new school. So before she had thought it through she discreetly stuck her leg out and made Colette trip over her, dropping her cauldron so the potion spilled everywhere.
Lily was too shocked at the fact that she had actually just done that to offer Colette any help, but luckily all around her people were reacting, helping her up and making sure no one had gotten the potion on them and were suddenly spouting grey hairs. Slughorn took a look at the mess on the floor and sighed, saying it was regrettable as the potion looked perfect.
Colette's cheeks were flushed, her eyes were darkening and Lily couldn't bring herself to look at her because of the shame she felt. When the commotion had died down a little Lily presented her potion to Slughorn who gushed over it, declared it the best of the day and whispered an invitation to join his Slug Club.
After that he dismissed the class and Lily noticed a Hufflepuff girl stayed behind to help Colette clean up. She wanted to offer her help as well to start making up for her cowardice act, but couldn't bear it if Colette actually guessed that she had tripped her on purpose.
She walked with some Ravenclaw girls to the Transfiguration classroom so she wouldn't get lost, again, but ditched them as soon as she saw the Pink Witches. Violet was combing her hair and undid an extra button on her shirt.
"There he is." Marlene whispered to Lily when some of the other girls started giggling a bit louder and playing with their hair.
"Wow," Lily breathed when she finally saw Jeremy Brown as he unlocked the classroom "he looks like brunette John Travolta."
Violet and Marlene, who were also half-blood and familiar with the Muggle world sighed dreamily "I know!"
Jeremy got them all seated and most of the chatter stopped "Professor McGonagall won't be able to teach this class, but I expect the same respect from you that you would've given her as we work together through the assignment today."
The Marauders smirked meaningfully at each other.
Waving a delicate, manicured finger Violet asked "What is our assignment, Mr. Brown?"
Teacher's pet,
I want to be teacher's pet,
I want to be huddled and cuddled as close to you as I can get,
"You will be trying to transfigure water into something solid. Manipulation of the elements is one of the hardest things you'll learn in this class." He passed out bowls to the class and used Aguamenti to fill them.
Dorcas blushed after Jeremy had passed their tables and Violet looked at him with a hungry expression "I'd like to make something of his solid." she winked and the girls tittered.
The Marauders overheard them and leaned close together "That's the lesson we're guessin' you're best in." they laughed crudely, but Violet wasn't fazed. She knew what she wanted and wasn't scared to admit it, and no matter how much there could be to dislike about Violet, Lily couldn't help but respect her a little for that.
Everyone struggled with the task at hand and Lily got frustrated, every time she felt like she was close to having something she lost her concentration and water splashed back in the bowl. Alice took a sip of her water and declared that she'd already given up.
"Well I refuse to." Lily said and started again.
Teacher's pride,
I want to be teacher's pride,
I want to be dated, paraded, the one most likely at your side,
James was impressed by Lily's dedication to her school work "Ya got a burnin' yearnin' to learn.", but she didn't even let him know she'd heard his comment and Sirius encouraged him to forget about her.
Violet was waving her finger again "Excuse me, Mr. Brown, can we please get some help?"
She leaned forward when he was at their table so it was evident how open her shirt was and barely heard his instructions because she was so absorbed in watching his mouth move around the words.
I want to learn all your lips can teach me,
One kiss will do at the start,
I'm sure with a little homework,
I'll graduate to your heart,
Marlene shook Violet gently after Jeremy left to go help someone else "Forget about him Vi! He teaches here, it's not allowed. And he's way older than us."
"Exactly." Violet pointed out, ignoring her assignment to have a muted discussion with Marlene instead. Alice commented from time to time while Dorcas and Lily sat by each other to actually work.
The Ravenclaw girls Lily had talked to for a bit were the only ones who'd managed to perfectly transfigure their water into solid water bottles by the time they were dismissed. They were some of the smartest students in school and obnoxiously virtuous and dedicated to their studies, even by Lily's standards.
Lily walked with the Pink Witches to lunch where Violet's infatuation with Jeremy Brown was still the topic.
"Shouldn't you work harder in Transfiguration then? I doubt he'll be very impressed if you fail his subject." Alice pointed out. She and Violet seemed to make the harshest remarks to, or about, each other, but this time Violet thoughtfully chewed on a piece of carrot "You might be right."
Teacher's pet,
I want to be teacher's pet,
I want to take home a diploma and show Ma that you love me too,
So I can be teacher's pet long after school is through
When they were done with classes for the day and most of the students were outside or studying for their already large amount of homework in the library, the Marauders were hiding out near the teachers' entrance to the Great Hall by their table, planning the first prank of the year. On the other side of the door was the teachers lounge and they'd had to be quiet to pull something off.
"Guys," Sirius remorsefully pointed out "this is our last first prank!" it was as if they hadn't realized things would change for them soon until they heard that and, unwilling to deal with it, they tried to decide if they should go bigger than ever before or save it for graduation.
"I think we should go with the classics instead," Remus suggested "even teachers have humour."
James was skeptical "We'll have to go back to the great classics to get our professors to laugh, they're old."
Make 'em laugh,
Make 'em laugh,
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
My dad said "Be an actor my son,
But be a comical one,
They'll be standing in linse,
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines."
"That's actually a great idea. An homage to the earliest pranksters." Sirius said with a sense of having great history behind him while Peter nodded eagerly.
Now you could study Shakespeare and be quite elite,
And you can charm the critics and have nothing to eat,
Just slip on a banana peel,
The worlds at your feet,
Make 'em laugh,
Make 'em laugh,
Make 'em laugh,
"Okay," Remus whispered "so when the first professor comes out he'll slip on a banana peel and slide down to … to what?"
Make 'em laugh,
Don't you know everyone wants to laugh?
My grandpa said go out and tell 'em a joke,
But give it plenty of hoke,
Using the corner of a piece of parchment James drew where they'd put the banana peel and how they'd oil up the floor so the professor would slide further and trip on a prank wand.
Make 'em roar,
Make 'em scream,
Take a fall,
But a wall,
Split a seam,
"And using a non-verbal spell we'll make the seam of their robe split!" Sirius suggested excitedly and the other Marauders hushed him.
"We should use the prank wand that releases marbles, they'll be flailing about." James pointed out and while Sirius and Peter laughed at the thought Remus was having second thoughts. But it was after all their last first prank.
So he added another suggestion "And when the professor finally stands up he'll get a custard pie in his face as the finale."
"We'll be legends." Peter said, wide-eyed at the thought of the Great Hall in stitches because of them. Because of him.
Sirius rolled up the parchment and hit him over the head with it "We're already legends Pete! Let's hope it's Slughorn, he won't be angry about the pie, he loves desserts."
You start off by pretending,
You're a dancer with grace,
You wiggle till they're
Giggling all over the place,
And then you get a great big custard in the face,
Make 'em laugh,
Make 'em laugh,
Make 'em laugh,
They agreed to meet back there in an hour with everything they'd need and Peter immediately volunteered to eat the banana.
"Bad idea," Sirius commented as he left the Great Hall "he'd eat the peel as well."
An hour later everything was ready and the Marauders were hiding under the Hufflepuff table to keep watch until dinner began. They had troubles controlling their snickering so they wouldn't be heard and so they didn't hear Lily walking across the Great Hall, looking for Professor Slughorn talk to him about what the Slug Club was.
She'd caught up with him after lunch and he'd asked her to meet him here so she called out "Professor Slughorn?"
James knew how it would look if Slughorn came out from the teachers lounge and Lily had been the one to get him to walk straight into their prank so he jumped out from under the table, startling Lily, but it was too late.
Slughorn had opened the door and sadly everything went off perfectly. Even though no one had cast the spell his seams actually even ripped when he fell forward.
The few Professors that were also in the teachers lounge rushed out when they heard the commotion and helped the poor man up. Ignoring James' protest, both Lily and James got detention. After dinner they had to clean cauldrons in the Potions classroom. Without using magic.
Lily refused to sit with the Pink Witches, but glared daggers at James from the Ravencalw table during dinner and when they walked to detention together. She was sure he'd done it on purpose to further embarrass her after yesterday.
After getting them started with the cauldrons, Slughorn left to go rest. After an hour they were only halfway through and James couldn't stand the complete silence "Maybe I should scrub and you can dry." he carefully suggested.
"Maybe you should shut up." Lily cruelly mocked him and James was surprised to hear her be so crude, he'd never heard her swear before.
Oddly it spurred him on "Maybe instead of shutting up I should invite you dancing this weekend."
Setting her cauldron down Lily rolled her eyes at him "Potter! I don't have time for dancing, that's just gonna have to wait a while."
Running a hand through his already unruly hair James winked at her "We can skip the dancing." This was how he usually was with girls and it was fun being like this with Lily, instead of being careful around her like he'd been all summer. She didn't appreciate it though.
"Ain't got time for messing around, and it's not my style. This old town can slow you down, people taking the easy way, but I know exactly where I'm going, getting closer and closer every day."
Relieved that she was at least talking to him, even though she was rejecting him, James asked her why she didn't have time.
"I'm going to be a healer, and studying usually takes up all of my time." Lily explained and James shook his head, not understanding how she could be so focused all the time.
"And I'm almost there, I'm almost there, people down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care, trials and tribulations, I've had my share, there ain't nothing gonna stop me now, 'cause I'm almost there." Lily got a far off look in her eyes "Only one more year to go before I can get an internship."
"How long have you known you wanted to be a healer?" James wanted to know.
"Ever since I was little," Lily reminisced "I remember daddy told me "Fairytales can come true, you gotta make 'em happen, it all depends on you." So I work real hard each and every day, now things for sure are going my way, just doing what I do, look out boys, I'm coming through."
"I hope to open up my own practice one day," she shared "and I'm almost there, I'm almost there. People gonna come here from everywhere, and I'm almost there, I'm almost there."
They picked up their work while talking and were nearly done, without even really noticing it. Talking about her dream, James was glued to her lips, praying to hear her tell more and wondering why she hadn't confided any of this to him this summer instead of now, stuck in detention.
"Every sickle, knut og galleon I've ever made I've saved for this project." Lily walked dogs or babysat in her summer vacations to earn money "There's been trials and tribulations, you know I had my share, but I've climbed every mountain, I've crossed the river, and I'm almost there, almost there!"
Finally she was done with the last cauldron and so was James. Lily took a step back when he determinedly walked straight to her. Grabbing her wrist he tugged her closer to kiss her, a move that always worked, but Lily shoved him away "You deceived me all summer and purposely got me in detention. What did you expect?" she shouted, before turning on her heel and leaving with her dignity intact while James felt like his had just been shattered to pieces.
Filling up with rage and stomping her way to the Gryffindor common room Lily berated herself for already forgetting who James really was and treating him as if she was still head over heels for him. She reminded herself she didn't have time for any boyfriend and certainly not to suffer from more heartbreak over a cad like James.
A nice sixth year Gryffindor girl named Annette met Lily by the Fat Lady's portrait helped her inside, telling her the Pink Witches were up in their dormitory.
Lily burst in without knocking, needing to unload how unfair it was that she had gotten detention in the first place and she give them play-by-play what had happened with James.
Violet and Dorcas were sharing a cigarette and nearly fell of their beds in attempt to hide it because they thought it was a professor instead of Lily that had made an entrance like that.
"Thank Merlin." Dorcas sighed and offered the cigarette to Lily who passed.
"Come on, have one, it won't kill you." Violet insisted, but Lily pointed out that actually it could. Besides it being common knowledge, she had the luxury of being a walking encyclopedia of Muggle and wizarding diseases.
"How did detention go?" Marlene asked, while she was concentrating on painting her toenails a bold Gryffindor red.
"James tried to kiss me!" Lily fumed and told them everything, insisting they should back her up in how ridiculous it was of him to expect her to let him. Dorcas and Marlene immediately agreed, but Violet simply shook Marlene's nail polish a little and painted her pinkie fingernail "I say you should've jumped him."
Lily flushed bright red, the girls snickered and Violet smiled satisfied. She couldn't help but provoke.
"I'm a virgin." Lily stated timidly, but not entirely without pride. She wouldn't give herself away to just anybody.
"Good for you," Marlene gave her the thumbs up. She was sitting on Dorcas' bed now, insisting she should let her pierce her ears "It's totally easy and it's not so bad. Even Lily has pierced ears."
"Actually I had them pierced when I was a baby, so I don't remember how bad it was." Lily told Dorcas who looked doubtfully at Marlene's needle and the sliced apple she was holding. But she finally agreed and Lily stood up "I think I'll wait in your common room, I'm not so good with blood."
As soon as she left Violet sighed "That girl! No one is that pure."
"Stop it Violet, just because she knows what she wants and doesn't sleep around." Marlene defended Lily. She didn't agree with Violet at all, but she was a little worried that Lily had found an image she was comfortable with and maybe it held her back.
Using a spell Violet's hair turned blonde "Look at me I'm Sandra Dee, lousy with virginity, won't go to bed till I'm legally wed, I can't! I'm Sandra Dee."
Dorcas and Alice laughed, but Marlene tugged at Violet to get her to sit down and be quiet so Lily wouldn't hear her, but Violet continued undeterred "Watch it! Hey, I'm Doris Day, I was not brought up that way. Won't come across, even Rock Hudson lost his heart to Doris Day."
Changing their hair as well and jumped around with Violet, continuing the parody "I don't drink, or swear, I don't rat my hair. I get ill from one cigarette," the girls faked a cough while Violet grabbed Dorcas' teddy bear and danced around with it "Keep your filthy paws off my silky drawers, would you pull that crap with Annette?"
Marlene already had bouncy, blonde curls and she couldn't resist any longer, Violet had a natural gift for entertaining. She was on Marlene's bed now, near all the posters and pictures on her wall "As for you Troy Donahue, I know what you wanna do, you got your crust, I'm not object of lust, I'm just plain Sandra Dee."
Exploiting her good mood Marlene finally pierced Dorcas' ears and maybe her shrieks was what told Lily that it was over, because soon after she stood by the door, but didn't go in because she could hear Violet "Elvis, Elvis! Let me be, keep that pelvis far from me, just keep your cool, now you're starting to drool, hey fongool, I'm Sandra Dee."
"Are you making fun of me Violet?" Lily demanded and the girls hurried to change their hair back while Marlene blushed, ashamed she'd not supported her friend more.
Even Violet had the tact to look embarrassed although she defended herself "Some people are so touchy!"
Lily stayed for a bit longer, but the atmosphere was changed, she was tired, upset and prayed that Colette was already asleep when she got to their dorm. Luckily she was, but Lily couldn't fall asleep. She kept tossing and turning and didn't find rest until she'd decided to make a change. She would no longer be somebody that guys could take advantage of and girls could parody.
A/N: Just to be clear there is not a complete Sandy-at-the-school-fair-in-tight-pants change coming, it's a slow transformation. The songs I used in this chapter were Teachers Pet from Teachers Pet, Make 'Em Laugh from Singin' In The Rain, Almost There from Princess and the Frog and Look At Me I'm Sandra Dee from Grease. Please review.