I've smelt, I've tasted, I've loved your darkness

But watching you fall apart is the hardest

I'll be there to pick you up when you break

I'll risk my happiness if that's what it takes

At eight o'clock there's not really anyone at the Lima Bean so Blaine was able to grab a nice, private table in the corner where he's sure they won't be overheard by any of the potentially nosy employees. He ordered himself his usual Medium Drip and a Non-Fat Mocha for Kurt because he knew that was his favourite.

When Kurt finally arrived Blaine raised an arm to catch his attention. Kurt spotted him quickly and a small smile spread over his lips, making Blaine's heart melted just a little bit. He looked beautiful in a simple (well, simple for Kurt) pair of black jeans and matching vest over pale cream Henley. As much as Blaine loved his clothes, the ridiculous pieces that only he could make gorgeous, the skin tight pants, the knee high boots; this was the Kurt he liked best. Just him, and no big façade of extravagance. Just simple beauty.

"Hi," Kurt said lightly, taking the seat opposite him. Blaine attempted a weak smile.

"Hey," he returned, playing with the cardboard holder around his cup to control his shaking hands. "Thanks for meeting me."

Kurt just nodded, taking a sip of his coffee. Blaine took that as a gesture for him to start.

"I'm sorry… about last night. How I… I missed your grad dinner," he began quietly. Kurt swallowed and put his coffee down, nodding.

"Why, though?" Kurt asked and Blaine's chest sunk. He had hoping to avoid that…

"Because I was angry," Blaine said finally. "And I shouldn't be around people when I'm angry… it's not fair to you."

"No," Kurt contradicted sharply, "it wasn't fair of you to leave me alone there."

Blaine frowned. "Alone? You had your parents, your friends-"

Kurt shook his head. "It's not the same," he whispered. "None of them were you."

Blaine closed his eyes, unable to take the watery glasz of Kurt's sad stare any longer. His stomach clenched painfully as he anticipated his next words.

"Where were you last night, Blaine?"

Blaine didn't answer.

"Were you drinking?"

"Yes."

"Blaine!"

Blaine groaned at the sound of the last person he wanted to hear approaching. He gave Kurt an apologetic look.

"Sebastian," he greeted the boy civilly as he took a seat beside them. Kurt frowned back at him with confusion.

"So crazy," Sebastian laughed, "I'm sitting over there checking out this guy and all of a sudden I'm like, wait a second… I know that hair! Blaine, how're doing buddy?"

"Errr," Blaine cleared his throat, feeling his face heat up as Kurt looked at him expectantly. "Kurt, this is Sebastian – Sebastian, this is Kurt… my… my best friend."

"And Sebastian is?" Kurt challenged coldly. Sebastian opened his mouth to answer but Blaine cut across him.

"We met last night," Blaine elaborated. Kurt lifted his chin slightly, his stance defensive as he gave Sebastian a fake smile.

"Pleasure," he said shortly, his tone indicating the contrary. Sebastian smirked in reply.

"Any friend of Blaine's is a friend of mine," he drawled. Kurt wrinkled his nose slightly in disain and took a sip of his coffee.

Blaine shot him a weak smile over his coffee, taking deep drags of the still scalding liquid, wondering dimly if it would be possible to drown himself in it.

"So what I want to know," Sebastian went on with a grin, looking rather oblivious to the tension that had long since set over the table, "is when we're going drinking again."

Blaine nearly choked on his coffee. "Well-I-err-I-" he spluttered without thinking. Sebastian raised an eyebrow in amusement and to Blaine's immense surprise Kurt simply smiled coolly, answering for him.

"Tomorrow night sounds good," he said. "Unless you have other plans, Blaine?"

Blaine managed to swallow down the disgusting wash of coffee, saliva and incompetent words gathering in his throat, trying to ignore the uncomfortable heat that burned down his oesophagus. What the hell was Kurt thinking?

"Sure," he found himself saying. Kurt knew what he was doing. He could trust him.

Right?

"Excellent," Sebastian beamed, looking delighted. "I ask for one, I get two. I'll see you two," he gestured between them with a wink, "tomorrow night."

Blaine gave a short nod, hoping that as Sebastian walked out of the coffee shop, by some miracle, he'd walk out of their lives entirely and leave them alone, letting Blaine fix the broken mess that he had created.

No such luck.

The next night Blaine managed to pull together an outfit and Kurt picked him up at the door. His mom gave him a weary look when he told her he was going out but she seemed grateful that he had told her and even more relieved when she saw that Kurt was going with him.

If only she knew…

Kurt insisted on taking the car and the entire ride was tense. Blaine longed to say something, anything to fill the awful silence that had fallen between them. But he felt like Kurt had put up some invisible wall between him and his stance was distance and cold.

It broke Blaine's heart.

When they finally arrived at the bar, Kurt hopped out promptly, slamming the door behind him. Blaine sighed wistfully, clambering out to follow him, pulling out their fake ID's and handing one to Kurt.

Kurt sniffed and took it off him, still not meeting his eyes. Blaine felt another sad pang in his heart as Kurt quickened his pace, making Blaine hurry to keep up.

They showed their ID's to the doorman who barely gave them a second glance, gesturing for them to forward in. Blaine shuddered as he entered the familiar space, all the horrible memories from the night before last flooding back. He didn't miss the way Kurt wrinkled his nose in disgust as he took in the dingy space.

"Do you regret coming?" he couldn't help but ask. Kurt glared at him.

"Not a bit," he said shortly, heading over to the bar where Sebastian was waiting for them.

Blaine gulped as he watch the short exchange between Kurt and Sebastian, Sebastian handing Kurt a glass of something clear. He then passed a beer to Blaine and Blaine was quick to take a deep dreg. Sebastian said something of unimportance but Blaine didn't even care.

And once more, he would drink the night away. Drink the pain away.

Because it solved fucking nothing, but it made him feel better than not being able to do anything about it.

Kurt felt the endless ache in his chest burn relentlessly throughout the night as he watched Blaine fall apart. He had smelt alcohol on him, he had tasted the cigarettes. He had seen him angry, he had seen him sad. But he had never seen him like this.

His eyes were dark and cloudy, his head droopy as he swayed to a beat that wasn't the one echoing off the grimy walls of the old pub. Kurt sighed wistfully, clutching his drink tightly in his hands as he watched Sebastian with him, grinning as if nothing was wrong.

The familiar burn of someone's eyes on him seeped over him and he looked up on instinct, his breath catching at the sight of the unsettling familiar face.

"Karofsky," he breathed, his eyes widening in shock as he took in the boy that had once seemed to terrifying, but now…

But now he just looked sad.

He had thinned out a bit, not quite as sturdy as he had once been, although that could have been the illusion provided by not only a terrifying attitude, but the bulky Letterman jacket, too. A light jean wash cap hung over his eyes, rendering him almost unrecognisable. But greatest change was in his face, softened out into not sympathy but sorrow, his eyes wide and almost blank. Kurt never thought he'd feel anything close to remourse if he was faced with his tormentor once more and yet… he felt sorry for him.

Karofsky flinched a little. "Could you… can you call me Dave?"

Kurt nodded lightly. "Okay," he said slowly, "just… as long as you don't call me Hummel."

A light ghost of a smile flickered on Dave's lips but he managed to control it. "How have you been?" he asked at last.

"Fine," he managed, although that was further from the truth in recent days with all the Blaine drama… "I'm-I'm leaving for New York in two weeks." It was true. They had finally gotten rights to the apartment and they were heading up early to settle into the new city, hopefully get a part time job to help cover expenses.

"Kurt," Dave said suddenly and Kurt was shocked at the anguish in his voice. "I'm sorry."

Kurt felt his lips part involuntarily and if possible his eyes widened even further. Those were the last words he ever expected to hear from David Karofsky.

A slow smile spilled across his lips.

"Dave," he breathed incredulously, "I put you in a coma."

And after a moment Dave finally cracked a smile and they were both laughing over the ridiculous situation until they stopped, realising that there had been nothing really funny about it at all.

Kurt sighed, catching a glimpse of Blaine shooting him eyes across the room. His heart stuttered something crazy in his chest before he caught his emotions, telling himself that it was only because he was drunk…

He turned back to Dave and mustered up a brave smile.

"Why don't we just call it even?" he suggested, sticking out a hand.

Dave shook his head, that same disbelieving look still haunting the dark of his eyes.

"You're…" he whispered, "a better man than I was. I know why I did those things know, Kurt…" he swallowed.

"You're-?" Kurt raised an eyebrow in shock. He was finally ready to admit it? Dave gave a short nod.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. Kurt slowly retracted his hand, taking another sip of his drink.

"Even, remember?" he quipped. A relieved smile fell over Dave's lips and Kurt smiled back, putting his drink down with a parting nod before turning on his heel.

If Dave could be brave, then so could he.

The world was a blur of heavy bass and flurried movements around him, colour whirling around in his vision. As the song moved around him, he tried to flow with it but slowly felt himself being pulled under. He had no need to resist.

But then there were hands around him, warm and steady and he blinked up at Kurt in surprise. He simply smiled back and began to dance. Something warm and happy sparked in his chest and he tried his hardest to keep up, moving with him, wanting to smile too and just live here in the simplistic world of Kurt.

After his feet grew sore and a check on Blaine's watch informed him that it was past late, he decided it was time for them both to leave. Sebastian had long since gone so he pulled Blaine gently by the hand and he came with him surprisingly easy.

Of course, with Blaine, nothing was ever easy and he practically had to carry him out. He couldn't even walk in a straight line.

He was already weighing up his options of where to take Blaine (he could take care of him at his place but there was his dad and Finn and they would ask questions but he didn't want Blaine's mom to be mad – or worried – and he didn't want to leave him alone…) when they reached the car.

"Hey," Blaine said suddenly.

"What?" Kurt answered, opening the door to help Blaine into the car. He turned around to reach for him but Blaine was right there, pushing up into his personal space, his voice low and husky; inviting in a way that made Kurt shiver.

"Kiss me."

Fuck.

"Oh, no," Kurt said, his voice more shaky than he would like it as he tried to push Blaine off. But Blaine was insistent; his hands running possessively up his sides, his lips desperately trying to take hold along the crook of his neck. "No, no, no."

But it felt… wrong. Because it was wrong.

"Come on," Kurt said, pulling him off, "you're riding in the back."

"Alright," Blaine nodded, looking like he was about to comply but as he sat down, he pulled Kurt in with him, or more specifically, on top of him.

And once again his hands were everywhere, running up and over his back and sides and Kurt was pulling back as hard as he could, aching with the force of the resistance.

"Please, Kurt," Blaine moaned, nosing up his neck once more, "I want you so bad, please, I know you want me too-"

"No," Kurt said sharply, pulling away with a sudden yank, looking up with wide eyed surprise at his answer, Blaine finally stopped, looking helpless as Kurt pulled back completely, climbing out of the car, Blaine hot on his heels.

"I'm not doing this," Kurt sobbed, surprised at himself as hot tears ebbed against his eyelids. He took a deep breath, trying to calm the hysterics that bubbled in his chest. "Not tonight, Blaine, not tonight."

"Look into my eyes," Blaine said darkly, "and tell me you don't want this."

"Of course I want it!" Kurt shouted, throwing his hands up in frustration. "I've wanted this for so long and you," he sniffed, his voice quietening, "you either didn't notice or you just didn't care."

Blaine's mouth parted and words were on the tip of his tongue. Kurt waited expectantly for a moment but they never came and Blaine pushed past him angrily.

"Where are you going?" Kurt asked fearfully. No, it wasn't safe; he couldn't leave… no matter what had happened.

"I can't be around you right now," Blaine practically growled, whirling around to face him, anger and hurt written all over his face. He huffed. "I would say goodbye, but I wouldn't want to make you angry."

"Blaine!" Kurt called after him. "Please… you can't walk home."

"I'll catch a cab if I have to," Blaine said. He gave Kurt one final, hard look before turning again. "Please… just let me go."