AN: shjt up prepz ok! PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

McGonagall: Wait...there's 44 chapters, so that means this actually got good reviews?

Snape: The little faith I had for the human race has been lost.

The next day I woke up in my coffin.

Draco: The one the PINK interior?

I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end

Hermione: It really isn't possible to wear a ripped up mini skirt without showing your ass to the world.

and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

Sirius: Pretty sure thats a health hazard.

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula

Ron: Surprise, sur-friggin-prise, she's eating vamipire cereal.

Dumbledore: Who would have guessed?

cereal with blood

Draco: With blood. It's not a complete breakfast without blood.

Voldemort: Unicorn blood.

Dumbledore: Will you stop with the unicorns? You're gonna make me cry...

instead of milk, and a glass of red blood. Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily.

Snape: I have a potion for stains. It's an empty bottle that says "GO TO THE F*CKING LAUDROMAT" on the side.

I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it. He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick.

Harry: I wonder who that is...he sounds hideous.

He didn't have glasses anymore

Draco: HA!

Harry: That could be anyone.

and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.

Harry: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! HELL NO!

Draco: HELL YEAH!

He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent.

Snape: Well...It couldn't possibly be because this all takes place in the UK. That's just absurd.

He looked exactly like Joel Madden.

Harry: HOW CAN I LOOK LIKE JOEL MADDEN? I LOOK NOTHING LIKE HIM, TARA! YOU CAN'T JUST GO F*CKING WITH JK ROWLING'S IDEAS LIKE THAT!

Sirius: Looks like she can.

He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

Snape: No you're not. You're a boy. See? You're not the only one that can f*ck up canon.

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

Snape: I'm sorry I turned you into a boy...No, wait. I'm not.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

"My name's Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

Harry: (slams head on desk)

Draco: Vampire? HA HA HA Oh my God...

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

Voldemort: I love the taste of-

Dumbledore: Don't you dare...

Voldemort: -unicorns.

Dumbledore: (sob sob)

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

Snape: No shouting in the Great Hall. 50 points from Gryfinndor.

Harry: SHE'S IN SLYTHERIN

Snape: I know. Correct me again and I'll kick your ass.

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him.