Me: Guess what? We have a new friend joining us next chapter!
Snape: Last time it was Voldemort. This time is it gonna be the entire Azkaban Prison?
Sirius: I resent that! The inmates at Azkaban are very nice, polite people. When they aren't raping you.
Snape: :0
Me: It's Dobby!
Sirius: Why would you invite him? He can't even use proper English, so what makes you think he can read?
Harry: DON'T TALK SH*T ABOUT DOBBY.
Sirius: Shut up Vampire.
Harry: ...
Harry: We are no longer friends. Snape is my new friend. Right Snape?
Snape: (glare)
Harry: See? We get along fine.
Chapter 7. Bring me 2 life
Sirius: What, she writes 6 nameless chapters and then gives the 7th a name? I'm not sure how, but I think that's racist.
AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws.n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons!
Snape: I think "tin god vons" is German for this sucks.
STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U! Evony isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS! n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!
Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish as we went upstairs.I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish (AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?).
Dumbledore: I can't see how that proves to us that she's not a Mary Sue.
I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess I he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco. Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…
We started frenching passively
Voldemort: Not again...
Sirius: Yes! More poorly written sex!
Draco: No! This has to be some form of rape!
and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically. He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather braand he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mineand we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)
Voldemort: Yes. It's very stupid.
Sirius: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
Snape: Why did she capitalize "had sex." Is she trying to sound pissed off?
"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm.
Sirius: OH MY GOD! HA HA HA "Oh Draco! Oh, Draco!"
Draco: I hate you.
It was a black heart with an arrow through it. On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!
Snape: Damn...I did not see that coming...
McGonagall: O...M...G...
Dumbledore: :/
Voldemort: Sweet. I love slash.
Ron: Oh, snap!
Hermione: No way...
Draco and Harry: (Home Alone style scream) ! THIS IS SO OUT OF CHARACTER!
Sirius: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
I was so angry.
"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.
"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.
"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"
Voldemort: TARA, YOU BITCH! THAT'S A STEREOTYPE!
I put on my clothes all huffily and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care. I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.
"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled.
Snape: And that would be where I would yell, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERF*CKERS!"
Sirius: HA HA HA HA HA DRACO HA HA HA HA HA BIG-YOU-KNOW-WHAT-HA HA HA HA HA RAN OUT NAKED HA HA HA HA HA AIDS
McGonagall: Sirius...I do think you are having a bit too much fun with this.
Harry and Draco: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HARRY/DRACO SLASH!(rocking back and forth) ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST...
Voldemort: There are no words to describe how much I love this.