AN: Apparently I offended someone with the Ginger comment. I just want you all to know that thats a well known joke from the show "South Park, and thats why I put it in. I was aware that it was offensive, but I didn't think anyone would be offended, if that makes any sense. After all, it is off of "South Park", one of the most offensive tv shows ever. Why would you take it seriously? Anyway, sorry if it bothered anyone who happens to be a redhead out there. I would never make fun of something as insignificant as a hair color and mean it.

AN: stup it u gay fags

Snape: Now thats offensive.

Hermione: Why is she calling people cigarrettes?

Dumbledore: They don't use that word in the United States as a term for a cigarette. They use it as an offensive term for a homosexual person.

Hermione: Oh. I didn't know that.

Snape: It's about time you didn't know something.

if u donot likma story den fukk off! ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

Snape: If I could change houses I'd go to Gryfinndor.

Ron: Why?

Snape: So I could ruin your lives.

Dobby: Dobby would go to Hufflepuff because Hufflepuff sounds like a cute cuddly animal.

Voldemort: Hufflepuff is for p*ssies.

Sirius: I used to eat Hufflepuffs for breakfast in prison. Literally.

Everyone except Voldemort: :0

Voldemort: Tee hee

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day.

Voldemort: Hell yeah, son I'll f*ck you 't you forget it.

Snape: Oh I won't.

Harry: Yeah. Don't make that mistake a second time.

I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.

I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar. People say that we sound like a crossbetween GC, Slipknot and MCR.

Hermione: I'm positive that would sound awful.

Snape: And there she goes, knowing things again.

Hermione: Do you people see how horrible he is to me? I can't believe you all think it's a good idea to pair us in Fanfiction.

The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.)

Ron: Aww, Come on!

and Hargrid.

Harry: Hargrid?

Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead. I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists

Sirius: Well, alright. As long as you know where he is.

(he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that)or a steak)

Draco: Thank goodness. I wouldn't want you to PLEASE KILL OFF MY CHARACTER.

McGonagall: Did she say steak? You cannot kill a vampire with a steak, Ebony/Enoby. You get an F-.

Snape: Looks like somebody didn't f*cking study.

and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride. I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

McGonagall: than Pansy Parkinson.

Dumbledore: Professor Mcgonagall!

McGonagall: I know I'm not supposed to speak of students in such a manner, but DAMN. Have you seen the girl?

Snape: Yeah I think everyone's life would have been at least 20x better if she had just died.

Draco: You do realize she was my girlfriend at one point right?

McGonagall: I rest my case.

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

Voldemort: If I didn't know Enoby better I'd say that there was something wrong.

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

Draco: What the f*ck do you think?

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily.

Draco: AHHHHHHHHHH! SHE'S IN MY MIND!

And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry! But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco. But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears.

Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

Sirius: Just like a muthaf*ckin' ninja.

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted. "How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

Ron: Umm...Yeah. It is.

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive. Then he ran out crying.

Draco: DRACO MALFOY DOES NOT CRY!

Snape: What about that time Harry put on his invisibility cloak and walked up to you with a stick and said, pretending to be a ghost, "oooh, I am the ugly stick! I have come to beat you! Opps, never mind."and I proceded to laugh and give Gryfinndor 10 points, something I've never done, because it was funny.

Draco: YOU PROMISED TO NEVER SPEAK OF THAT!

We practiced for one more hour. Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily!

Dobby: Why the exclamation point?

His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely. (c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y)

Voldemort: He cried...wisely?

Snape: "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU MOTHERF*CKERS!"

"Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

Draco: THANK YOU!

Snape: She said he couldn't die by slitting his wrists? See? She's even f*cking with the canon in her own story.

Harry: Maybe if I'm lucky I'll die in this story too.

Snape: Maybe if I'm lucky you'll die in real life.

Harry: ...

Snape: Just kidding :)

Harry: ha ha I thought you were serious.

Ron: No. He's Snape.

Sirius: I wish people would stop f*cking with me.

Ron: That wasn't a joke.

Sirius: Oh. Ok, so I'm telling you this as a friend: You should definatly consider special ed.

Ron: Thank you, so much!

Hermione: (sigh)