AN: Hey pple(oh Christ Tara's rubbing off on me)! Here's the next chapter! Ok, so from now on I'm gonna repsond to reviews in author's notes because I saw someone do that and I like the idea.
Review Responses:
Lady Icicle- Just wait. lol. You haven't seen the worst parts of this story yet.
SokkasFirstFangirl- I love the way she just destroys canon almost as much as the english language. Almost. lol.
- Yup because Dobby=Win. :)
AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo 2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu!
Harry: American school children think Hagrid is a pedo?
Hermione: He most certainly is may be the equivalent of one of those extremist PETA animal rights activists, but not a pedo.
how du u no snap iant kristian plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!
McGonagall: You said nothing about Cedric. You said and I qoute "Hargirid."
Snape: And what was that about me being Christian? I didn't catch that. Seriously, I couldn't figure out what she was trying to say. I think she may have been under the influence of illegal substances.
I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago
Dobby: Did ex master Draco change his name to Drago? Could Dobby be so bold as to say that it does not suit him at all?
Draco: How do you spell "Draco" wrong?HOW?
had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy but I knew that we must both go together.
"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire. He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.
Snape: What, dare I ask, is a red white?
I stopped. "How did u know?"
Harry: How did I know what? I'm confused.
"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"
"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.
"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagramfor me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me! then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"
Draco: BONDAGE? I'M BEING SEXUALLY TORTURED BY VOLDEMORT? OH, WONDERFUL! THAT IS JUST F*CKING BRILLIANT.
Voldmeort: I DO NOT HAVE KINKY SEX WITH PRISONERS.
Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists. Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too. They were going to St. Mango's after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz.
Snape: Ok. So Lupin and I are pedos. I get that. But she said that Hagrid/Cedric is a student, so therefore he is not a pedo. This Tara girl just totally setS the concept of continuity ablaze and pisses on it.
Sirius: In Azkaban they chop pedo's wee wees off. Just a fun fact.
Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera they took of me naked. I put up my middle finger at them.
Dobby: Dobby was constipated last night. Not fun...
McGonagall: How lovely.
Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.
"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.
"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway, and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.
Snape: When was Hagrid mean to her? Honestly, she's just making this up as she goes along.
"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."
"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.
"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily. "No you didn't I replied." "You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower sceneand being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong) to it he added silently.
Snape: Again with "Snap". And yes. It is spelled hilariously wrong.
"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.
He pointed his wand at the pink roses. "These aren't roses."
Dumbledore: Well then what are they?
He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .
"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.
"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes."Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"
Ron: Since when do you do vocal warm ups before doing a spell?
And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the it was black. Now I knew he wasn't a prep.
Dumbledore: That does not answer my question nor does it prove that he is not a "prep".
Dobby: Dobby is still unclear on what makes you a "prep" in the first place.
Hermione: We all are.
"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"
Draco: SHE DID IT AGAIN.
Hairgrid rolled his eyes.
Harry: Hairgrid? (snicker)
I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.
Ron: Balls...(snicker)
Hermione: (rolls eyes)
Snape: Really, Weasley?
McGonagall: How inapropiate.
Dumbledore: (thinks a moment) Oh! I get it! (giggle)
Ron: See? Its funneh(giggle)
Dumbledore: Yes it is funneh(giggle)
Snape: ...
McGonagall: ...
Hermione: ...
"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT)
Sirius: THAT'S NOT FUNNY.
u mst find urslf 1st, k?"
Dumbledore: I do not talk like that!
Draco: You must find yourself? That is the corniest thing I've ever heard.
Hermione: Hey Tara, this is Harry Potter! Not The Karate Kid.
"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!"Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.
Harry: Wow.
Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"
McGonagall: He did not lie! All he said was "You must find yourself." He was being cryptic.
Anyway when I got better I went upstairs nd put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuffon the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them. put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!)
Snape: Who is Samara?
Hernione: (googles it and shows him)
Snape: WTF IS IT? HOW IS IT COMING OUT OF THAT ORDINARY TV SET? IS IT MAGICAL? DAMN WE SHOULD HAVE USED THAT TO GUARD THE SORCERER'S STONE, NOT FLUFFY. FLUFFY WAS AN ASSHOLE! FLUFFY TRIED TO EAT ME NUMEROUS TIMES AND OMG WTF IS IT? IT'S HIDEOUS BUT I CANT LOOK AWAY KINDA LIKE DELORES UMBRIDGE AND HER PUKE PINK OUTFITS!
Voldemort: Can Voldy see?
Hermione: (shows him)
Voldemort: AHHHHHHHHH! EW EW EW EW IT'S SO SCARY AND EEEEVILLLL! AVERT THINE EYES, FAIR MAIDEN!(chucks iphone at the wall)
Everyone: 0.0
Voldemort: M'kay...I'm back now.
nd I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.
"You look kawai, girl." B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset.
Sirius: THAT WASN'T FUNNY EITHER.
I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood. I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time.I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco. He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.
Harry: Why do people diss Hufflepuffs so badly?
Draco: Because Hufflepuffs are homosexual.
Snape: Like Harry's dad.
Harry: WTF Snape? I thought we were cool?
Snape: I'm sorry it was just too easy.
"Hi." he said in a depressed way.
"Hi back." I said in an wqually said way.
We both looked at each other for some timearry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos. Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.
McGonagall: 0.0
Dobby: That is against the school rules if Dobby is correct.
Snape: Wow...You two do not waste time, do you?
Harry: Oh...My...God...
Draco: HA HA IT'S YOUR TURN.
"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.
Sirius: HA HA HA HA HA PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL SAID HORNY! HA HA HA HA
McGonagall: ...
"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me.
Voldemort: Excuse me? From what I recall you jumped on eachother. You tried to screw him as much as he tried to screw you, honey.
You know I loved Draco!" I shouted and then I ran away angrily.
Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.
"NO!" I ran up closer.
"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.
"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"
Snape: What in the hell? This already happened!
Sirius: (singing)Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again! It's just a jump to the left, and then a step to the right. With your hands on your hips! You bring your knees in tight! But it's the pelvic thrust, That really drives you insane! Let's do the Time Warp again! Let's do the Time Warp again!
SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111
Ron: She's supposed to write your story?
Snape: I'm confused. So, who's ass do I Crucio on behalf of this story's existance?
HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I
McGonagall: You don't use authors notes to ask your friends if they've seen your sweater!
Voldemort: That is just unprofessional.