AN: Hello, my lovlies! I cant believe it's been 14 chapters and I'm not dead yet.I must be stronger than I thought... How's everyone else?

Harry: We're doing fine, but I don't think Dumblydore is doing so well...

Dumbledore: (vomits "Excorcist" style)

Snape: Really, now? I think he looks peachy keen!

McGonagall: How many chapters of this are left?

Ron: I don't know. What's 44 minus 14?

McGonagall: Ugh...

Draco:Is this God's way of punishing me for being mean?

Voldemort: If it is, I think this is rather cruel and unusual punishment.

AN: fuk off PREPZ ok!

Sirius: Tara, why don't you "fuk" off for a change.

Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.

Snape: I didn't think it was possible, but I hate her more than I did 5 minutes ago.

PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!

WARNING: SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION ADVISD.

Draco: I'm required to shit myself to read this story? Ok, if you say so...

We ran to where Volcemort was. It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was.

Snape: You mean Wormtail?

Draco was there crying tears of blood.

Draco: Oh my god...

Voldemort: Don't these people ever cry normal tears?

Snaketail was torturing him.

Snape: Wormtail.

Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

Snape: It's Wormtail.

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!" he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes.

McGonagall: Surprise, surprise. Wormtail is in love with Ebony/Enoby too! This story is just full of incredible plot twists!

"EbonyIloveyouwiluhavesexwitme." he said. (in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

McGonagall: WHY MUST SHE KEEP CHANGING CHARACTER'S AGES SO DRASTAICLLY? IF SHE WAS GOING TO CHANGE THEM SO, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY SHE DIDN'T JUST WRITE HER OWN STORY FROM SCRATCH, BECAUSE REALLY, THE CHARACTERS DO NOT EVEN RESEMBLE OR ACT REMOTELY LIKE THEIR ORIGINAL SELVES.

"Huh?" I asked.
"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail.

Dobby: Well, that's quite rude. He didn't even bother to ask her to dinner at Wizard Garden.

Hermione: Don't you mean Olive Garden?

Dobby: What's that?

I started laughing crudely. "What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

Snape: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH THAT IS FUNNY AS HELL.

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around. Then he fell down and died.

Snape: THAT'S EVEN FUNNIER.

I brust into tears sadly.

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort.

Voldemort: She still has me talking like an asshat?

Then… he started coming! We could hear his high heelsclacking to us.

Everyone: (laughs their tits off)

Voldemort:DID I JUST READ THAT RIGHT? HIGH HEELS? FUCK THIS. I'M DONE.

So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts. We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

Sirus: Hey, what the fuck? No fight scene? Lame.

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw.

Draco: I was just crying tears of blood and Ebony is crying, and I'm still ready to do it? I WAS BEING HELD BONDAGE BY VOLDEMORT FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! YOU DON'T JUST GET OVE SOMETHING LIKE THAT!

He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah)

Draco: Damn right I am.

Harry: Oh, look it's opposite day.

Snape: 10 points to Gryfinndor.

Draco: What?

and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

Hermione: Yeah right.

Draco: How would you know, Granger?

Hermione: Pansy told all the girls.

Draco: THAT BITCH.

"Its so unfair!" I yielded. "Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway. They are such fucking sluts."answered Draco.

McGonagall: What and Ebony isn't?

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked.

Snape: Just to get one thing straight. I think my character and Lupin's just wanted to sleep with Ebony, not marry her or have any kind of long term relationship with her. You know, hence the "masticating" to her.

Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me!

Sirius: Yeah, 'till you killed his ass dead with your awesome gangster knife skills.

I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?" I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty) "Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!" I shouted and then I ran away.