New Year's Resolutions from Dragon Ball Universe!

- a Dragon Ball Z Collection -

Resolution Three: Master Roshi

Disclaimer: Dragon Ball, the glorious franchise it is, is not in any way a property I control. I can only wish to supplement its mystique with stories such as the one herein. The same is in regards to related characters, symbols, plot elements, etc.

With that said, I hope you enjoy the story!

I think this is the year that I'll finally do it.

I should have done this a lot sooner, and maybe if I had, I wouldn't have missed out on so many lovely ladies!

My new year's resolution, at long last, is to use the Dragon Balls to wish for eternal youth so that all the hot young gals can truly realize, once again, how awesome I am!

Even though I'm more than 300 years old, I've still got that feisty spirit, heh heh! Also, I've got experience too, if you know what I'm sayin'.

I mean, it ain't that selfish of a wish, in the bigger picture. Goku once told me that there was a little clown guy who wanted to take over the world using the Dragon Balls, and that's definitely more selfish than what I'd like to do.

And Hell, if that dastardly asshole King Piccolo could wish for eternal youth, then I should be able to do it too!

With all the selfless wishes we've made over the years, and especially with the ones that were used to bring innocent people back to life, I think it will be totally acceptable for me to get my youth back!

Truth be told, I guess I want to wish for this because my students have made me so jealous! Goku's wife is a gorgeous gal, and I know, thanks to that one time in which she got angry at Krillin's former girlfriend Maron, how truly awesome Chi-Chi happens to be, heh heh! And speaking of Krillin, … well, I mean, it's just not fair! How the Hell did Krillin end up with his amazingly hot wife when I, the Lovemaster, am still trying to score it big with the babes? Eighteen lives on my own damn island, for crying out loud, and it torments me to no end that I'm constantly seeing her around, and that I'm not in a relationship with an awesome lady myself!

And, … wait a minute … Maron was Krillin's former girlfriend, after all … how the Hell does Krillin, of all people, hook up with so many hot women? It really is not fair!

But all I'll need to do, once the Earth's Dragon Balls become active again, is find Bulma's Dragon Radar and get my hands on the seven of them. If I tell her the real reason why I want to find them, she'd probably never let me get away with it. Bulma, … now she's a girl I'd like to get to know better, although I know a lot about her already, heh heh! It's a damn shame Vegeta's around and would not be too happy if I tried hitting on Bulma after regaining my youth, otherwise, I'd be making the moves on that hot, smokin' gal in a heartbeat!

Goodbye, magazines! Hello, fun!

Look out, ladies! Here I come!

Master Roshi

Thanks so much for reading Master Roshi's New Year's Resolution!

Up next: Yamcha!

In fun and fanfiction,

American Vigor