"Ziva, you awake?" Tony asked quietly when he saw her fidgeting.
Ziva's eyes fluttered open. "Where's Sienna?" She asked barely able to speak.
Tony took her hand in his. "Ziva Sienna's in surgery." He said quietly.
"Why what's wrong?" Ziva asked immediately awake.
"They… Honey she has a tumor in her pancreas. They're trying to remove it." Tony said sadly.
"You let them do this without my consent!" She asked in disbelief. "What if she doesn't make it through the surgery?"
Tony pulled her into a gentle hug. "Ziva removing the tumor is her only chance to survive. She's been slowly deteriorating all morning."
Ziva shook her head. "She was only three weeks early! How can so much be wrong?"
"Ziva…" Tony said awkwardly. "I don't know what to say or do right now."
"I need to see her." Ziva said quietly.
"Ziva you can't see her right now... She's in surgery." Tony reiterated.
"Tony… I have to see her alive. I don't care if it's in an operating room. I have to see my daughter." Ziva said seriously.
Tony looked at her anxiously. "They said her surgery should be done by five." He protested. "That's in… about forty minutes. Can you wait until then?"
"Will she be alive then?" She asked angrily. "I have to see her. I have to know her…"
Abby came in then accompanied by Gibbs and Tim. "Ziva how are you feeling?"
"Abby I need you to help me with something." Ziva replied immediately.
"Anything."
"I need to see Sienna. Now, while I know she's still alive." Ziva informed her.
"… But that." Abby finished. "Ziva you don't want to go see her in surgery." She promised her. "I went with Caitlin into one of her reconstructive surgeries because she had to be awake during it… It's not something you want to see your child going through."
"Abby… You don't understand! My daughter is dying!" Ziva cried.
"Ziva you probably shouldn't have said…" Tim started.
"DON'T UNDERSTAND?" Abby asked in disbelief. "If anyone here understands… it's me." She said before heading out the door, pulling Tim with her.
Ziva tried to sit up but groaned in pain. "Gibbs…"
"I have to agree with Abby on this one." Gibbs said gently. "Sienna will be out soon and then you can go visit her."
"I want to see her now!" Ziva protested. "She's my daughter and…"
"Ms. David?" A nurse interjected. "Your daughter is out of surgery and is being transported back to the NICU."
"Can I see her?" Ziva asked quietly.
"Yes, but you won't be able to hold her." The nurse said as she pulled over a wheelchair.
"Excuse me?" Ziva asked as she flinched away from Tony's helping hand. "What do you mean I can't hold her?"
"She needs the support of the machines and the temperature controls." The nurse explained gently. "She needs to recover."
"She needs her mother." Ziva retorted as she slowly got into the wheelchair. "I need to see her either way though. Gibbs will you come with us?"
Gibbs shook his head. "Ziva this is something special for you and Tony. I'll go take care of Abby."
Ziva took Tony's outreached hand. "You ready to meet our daughter?" Tony asked quietly. Ziva nodded before the nurse took them to the NICU.
What's wrong with Mom? Anastasia signed to Caitlin in a corner of the waiting room.
Caitlin shrugged. Something's wrong with Ziva and Mom and Dad aren't taking it very well.
Anastasia looked at her fearfully. What do you mean wrong? Like… how wrong?
I think that the baby's sick. Caitlin told her sadly.
Well is the baby going to get better? Anastasia asked looking close to tears.
Girls what's going on? Abby signed and spoke to them.
"Is the baby sick?"Caitlin asked immediately. "Is Ziva okay? What's going on? Why are you crying?"
Slow down Katie! Anastasia signed furiously. Mom what'd she say?
She's just asking about Ziva and I need to talk to both of you girls about what's going on. Abby signed as she sat down next to her daughters.
Is Ziva okay mom? Caitlin questioned again.
Abby gave her a glare. Ziva… is doing fine. Sienna, her daughter, isn't doing quite as fine. She's in the N-I-C-U.
What's the N-I-C-U? Anastasia asked curiously.
Abby looked at her sadly before replying. It's a special place in the hospital where they take care of the sick newborns.
"The baby is sick!" Caitlin shouted out.
"Catlin quiet!" Abby hushed her. "I need to…" Suddenly Abby had a wave of nausea come over her and she ran to the restroom.
Tim quickly went over to his daughters. What happened to mom? He questioned them quickly.
I don't know. Caitlin said quickly. She just… left.
Tim sighed. Alright girls, I need both of you to behave. Ducky will be back in about twenty minutes and he's going to take you home. He instructed. Stay here and wait for him.
Tim quickly headed over to the bathroom Abby was coming out of. "Are you alright Abs?" He asked as he carefully pulled her into her arms.
Abby nodded slowly. "I don't remember this being this bad with Katie or Stace."
Tim rubbed her back. "I don't think it was this bad. It normally was just because of some sort of trigger. You haven't been smelling anything right?"
"No." Abby said as she shook her head. "My stomach just won't settle… and my hormones are all out of whack. It feels like it's about one hundred and five degrees in here and… I don't want to do this again." She broke down into his arms.
"Abs." Tim whispered quietly. "I know it's scary starting over… but we're going to get through this just fine."
It was several minutes later when Gibbs entered the waiting room. "Abby, Ziva wants to see you." Gibbs said gently.
Abby looked at him in disgust. "I'm not talking to her." Abby said angrily.
"Abby you're not that mad." Tim said gently. "It's just your hor…"
"If you say hormones I will kill you and leave no evidence behind." Abby threatened.
Tim backed away slightly. "You should go see Ziva honey." He tried gently. "She needs you right now."
"She doesn't need anything from me and my 'inability to understand what she's going through'" Abby retorted.
"Abby you know that's not true." Gibbs pushed. "She's really hurting right now and you are the only one of us who knows what it's like to be a mother."
Abby sighed. "Just shut up and show me where she's at." She said sounding annoyed.
Abby walked into the NICU after being given gloves, an apron, and a face mask. "Ziva?" She whispered as she slowly walked toward her.
Ziva looked up slowly the tear streaks running down her face. "She's so… small and helpless."
Abby carefully pulled up a chair next to her. "Where's Tony?" She asked gently.
"He went to go eat." Ziva said quietly. "Don't get mad at him… I asked him to." She said looking at her hands. Abby sat silently for several minutes before Ziva spoke again. "Abby can you help me with something?"
Abby looked at the pain in her eyes. "What do you need Ziva?" She asked as she rubbed her arm.
"I want to hold Sienna." Ziva said softly.
"Then hold her…" Abby said sounding confused.
"They don't want to let me take her out of the incubator." Ziva said as she watched her daughter's chest slowly rise up and go down.
Abby shook her head. "They have to let you hold her Ziva…" She said quietly before waving to a nurse. "Excuse me but my friend would like to hold her daughter."
"I'm sorry… I'm under specific instructions from the head of neonatal, not to take baby number seven out of her incubator." The nurse replied quietly.
Abby looked at her in disgust. "Baby number seven…" She asked angrily. "Ziva I'll be back." She said before standing up and storming into the hallway. She went straight up to the neonatal reception desk. "I need to speak to the head of neonatal… now." She demanded.
"I'm sorry… she's out to lunch."
"I work at a federal agency and I'm not hesitant to get a warrant." Abby snapped.
"A warrant? I'm not sure what you're talking about ma'am. I'll let you know as soon as she's available." The receptionist replied looking slightly terrified.
"As soon as better be in the next five minutes." Abby snapped before angrily taking a seat across from the desk.
"Abby there you are!" Tim said exasperatedly. "I've been looking for you…What's wrong?"
"This hospital…It's horrible." Abby said quietly.
Tim looked at her in surprise. "What's going on Abby?"
"Excuse me ma'am." The receptionist said quietly. "Dr. Owens can see you in his office briefly."
"Thank you." Abby said before getting up. "I'm going to be right back Tim." She said before going into the door the receptionist pointed her towards.
"How may I help you?" Dr. Owens asked impatiently.
"Try about how can you help your patients?" Abby said angrily. "What kind of a NICU do you think you're running?"
"One that works ma'am." He replied simply.
Abby shook her head. "Do you realize just how impersonal it is? Baby number seven. My god-daughter was called baby number seven." She said in disbelief. "If her mother weren't so distraught she'd be in here whipping your butt!"
"Excuse me?" He asked in disbelief.
"You can't run a NICU the way you're running it. The families that are there are already going through enough with a baby there, but making it as impersonal as you are isn't doing any good. The mother's should be able to hold their babies if they want to. You shouldn't have any right to tell them they can't!" Abby began to rant as Tim gently opened the door. "My god-daughter's name is Sienna not baby number seven. If I ever hear you or your staff call her that again I will personally rip…"
"ABBY!" Tim shouted over her. "Don't make a scene!"
"Too late Tim… I'm in full scene mode." Abby replied angrily. "You will let Ziva hold her daughter… and any other mother's that want to hold their babies. I know you have the wrong parts so you won't ever understand exactly how excruciatingly painful childbirth is, but the most rewarding part of it all is when you hold that little baby in your arms. That's when you know it was all worth it. Taking that away from a mother just because her baby is sick… isn't going to help her at all."
Dr. Owens sat staring at her in disbelief. "I'm not sure what you want…"
"You're going to start treating your patients like people." Abby informed him. "Just because they're infants doesn't mean they're not people. They have names, each and every one of them. Each and every one of them has a great potential to become someone great."
"I'm… I'm sorry?"
"You bet you are." Abby said before turning out of the room.
"I'm really sorry about this…" Tim said before quickly following her into the hallway. "ABBY WHAT THE…" He began before he realized that she was sitting on the floor with her face buried in her knees. "Abby are you alright?" He asked as she squatted down to her level.
Abby nodded gently. "I'm sorry… I had to help Ziva…"
"Abby… you were almost in tears in there…" Tim said gently. "What's going on?"
"Not all of the babies in there are going to become someone amazing Timmy!" She admitted. "Some of them aren't going to make it…"
"Abby…" Tim said gently as he pulled her into his arms. "What's hurting you Abs?"
Abby looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "I've never… I've never told anyone here Tim. You would see me differently…"
"Abby it's eating you inside…" Tim said as he rubbed her back. "It's not good to have this stress with the baby.
"Tim… I shouldn't be alive." Abby admitted quietly. "I had a four percent chance of survival when I was born."
"Abby?" He looked at her in disbelief. "You were… you were a preemie?" He asked in disbelief.
"Shut up Mcgee!" She said angrily as she stood up. "I was born at 31 weeks, but I'm alive. I'm smart, I don't have anything wrong with me. But once someone associates me with that it's like they want to be careful with me. It's like they expect me to suddenly have some sort of a disability!"
Tim looked at her in disbelief. "Abby… I don't think that… who would think that?"
"Kids can be mean Tim." Abby admitted. "It shouldn't bother me… not anymore."
Tim pulled her into his arms. "Let it out Abs."
"This stupid kid." Abby said sounding extremely angry. "His sister… was a preemie and she had some sort of a disability because of it." She explained. "When he told the class about it, I told them I was a preemie. Suddenly… I was his sister… no one treated me the same."
"Abs… That was a group of mean kids who were leeching on the suffering of others." Tim said gently. "None of us, not your family or the team would ever see you negatively because of that."
Abby looked up at him and wiped her eyes. "Really?"
"Abby I think you're even more amazing." Tim admitted.
Abby smiled before she felt her stomach jolt. "Tim…" She said as she closed her eyes.
"Shhh… It's okay Abs." He said as he rubbed her arm. "You're amazing Abs." He said pressing his lips to her cheek.
"Tim what are we going to do?" She asked quietly once the nausea passed.
Tim smiled at her and cupped her chin in his hand so she was looking at him. "We're gonna have a baby."
Abby walked back into the NICU around an hour later and was surprised at what she saw. "Ziva?" She asked in surprise when she saw the smile on her friend's face.
"Abs come here." Tony said an equally as happy smile on his face. "Sienna's doing great."
Abby smiled as she crossed the room. "What happened?" She asked as she saw the girl's alert blue eyes.
"We can't figure it out." The same nurse she had spoken to earlier said with a smile. "As soon as Ziva held Sienna her vitals skyrocketed up to amazing levels."
"She needed her mom." Abby said softly. "I needed my mom." She said even softer.
"What was that Abs?" Tony asked not taking his eyes off his daughter.
Abby shook her head. "Don't worry about it." She said quietly as she trapped it all inside once again.
Author's Note: Sorry it took so long! I got writer's block… until I was watching dog tags earlier… (Did you see my quote teehee… love it so much) So I know I've talked to a lot of my reviewers about the team dynamics changing and I PROMISE… I'm about to get there! PLEASE REVIEW!