Some Lovers
A 100 prompts challenge on Fenris/LadyHawke by Marianne Bennet
013: Twisted
As Feynriel disappeared, running through the Fade in a burst of light, the illusion shattered and Hawke felt Kirkwall's first enchanter's guise slip away. Her hands became her own once more and her hair fell loose around her shoulders. She glanced right, watched Isabela and Aveline appear, looked left, saw Fenris again, and sighed with relief. But other realities were not nearly so reassuring.
Before Keeper Marethari had eased her way into the Fade with this ritual, Hawke had never encountered a demon in its natural realm save under Malcolm Hawke's watchful eye. Even then, those creatures had been lesser monsters, weak things of sloth and rage, easily outwitted. As the false Keeper crackled and buckled under the lifting of the illusion, Hawke caught glimpses of the pride demon's true form and had felt her knees begin to tremble as they always did when she was put under pressure. But this creature, this demon, in all of its true glory created what felt like a void, an endless realm of all of things Hawke wanted, the things she admired in others and coveted for her own uses, the places she should be instead of where she was now. Her natural talent in magic –the thing that set her apart from Carver, the usurper of her place in the Hawke family –intensified to a degree where she could get anything she wanted.
Magic is meant to serve man and not rule over him. She could destroy that phrase forever. Already, she could hear that hated revered mother in Lothering's chantry emphasizing that phrase in her Chant of Light, feel her father's grip tighten on her shoulder at the sound. And then the revered mother's voice shifted to her father's and the illusion broke a second time.
"I could have given him power," hissed the demon and yet the whisper seemed to come from within Hawke, from somewhere between her lungs and her ribs, drawn out like an long sigh from her mouth, swirling around her, intoxicating unspoken promises flickering at her ears. "I can still give you power."
Her knees buckled and it was all she could do to draw herself back up to her full height. "I want nothing you have to offer," she declared, trying to look the creature in its eyes but its eyes was everywhere, multiple pairs and they were all focused on her, just like the eyes of Kirkwall, just waiting for the Arishok to run her through with his blade one of these days. She swallowed. "And neither does Feynriel. You saw proof enough of that. He only wants freedom."
"Who are you to speak for him?" the demon growled, its tongue flickering between its teeth. "Who are you to speak for your companions? Do you think this slave would choose you over his own freedom?"
Fenris. She glanced over her shoulder in panic, saw his expression change and then harden. There was nothing in it; there was something in it. There was doubt, even as he said, "Cast your eyes elsewhere, demon. I have my freedom."
"Do you?" the demon replied lazily. "Do you know what freedom feels like or do you feel hunted still?" She saw Fenris take a step back, bite down on the corner of his mouth. "You think of him often, do you not? Wonder what he plans, if he will come within the month, the year. It's only a matter of time, as you know. You are living with a tiger at your back, little wolf. When it finally catches up to you, do you not wish the power to defeat it once and for all?"
Panic leapt in Hawke's throat. She turned toward the elf, her heart racing. "You know that if you accept, you are no better than them."
"And do you think she is superior? Do you think she will be any different, when she is backed against the wall? What it will take for her to show her true colors, you wonder. You already know she consorts with abominations. Apathy is agreement."
"Fenris," the sound of his name made the elf's head snap back toward her. Out of the corner of her eye, Hawke already saw Aveline reaching for her sword as Fenris's stance shifted to be slightly predatory. "The demon is twisting your thoughts, trying to make you turn on me. Don't listen. It isn't what you want. I'm telling you it isn't what you want."
"Who are you to tell me what I want?" Fenris questioned, his eyes narrowing.
"What a good question," the demon commented, its eyes narrowing to slits as well. "Who is she to tell you what to do? She is a mage, little wolf; she is one of them. Have you traded one master for another? You would never have lingered so long in one place otherwise."
"Fenris," she was pleading now. Aveline, unnoticed, already had unsheathed blade in hand. "I am not your master. I am your friend. I care about you. Listen to me. Just days ago," she lowered her voice to a whisper, "you said–"
"What did you say, little wolf? Are you even sure that the thoughts were your own?" The demon paused, letting Fenris consider it and the elf did. Hawke saw the self-doubt running across his face. "The reasons you are still here could be pretense. Whatever you think you feel for her could be a lie. Why do you buckle under her command? You know better than to let anyone too close. There could be blood magic at work here. Did you not see the signs? Has this magister-to-be blinded you so? Would you end her hold over you, end the hold of all magic over you? Would you face her and all other mages as an equal? I can give you that. She could never do so much."
"What," Fenris paused, dragged his eyes from Hawke's face, turned his gaze to the demon. "What would you have me do?"
"Don't do this, Fenris," Hawke snapped, whipping her staff out into one hand. "I'll fight you and you won't win. And we don't know what will happen then."
"With the power that all magisters crave behind you, is there any question of victory?" the demon purred.
"I have to do this, Hawke," he told her, advancing slowly, the pupils dilated in his moss green eyes. "If this is the price I must pay… I am sorry."
Tattoos gleaming in the Fade's hazy light, greatsword in hand, he launched himself forward. Hawke had a barely a moment's notice to throw herself left; for all of his words, for all of the demon's influence, she had never truly thought it would come to this. Bloody demon; she got to her feet and charged the monstrous creature, bringing her staff down and then up in a blazing swathe of fire. The demon howled. Hawke grinned; even under these circumstances she took delight in the victory.
She whipped her weapon back into the ready position and turned back just in time to see Fenris charge her again. Hawke dove out of the way a second time –the demon was dead; it was only a matter of time before Fenris came back to his senses –but Aveline moved forward into the fray, blade drawn to protect her friend. Fenris turned, looking for Hawke, but the mage was out of his reach and Aveline's sword come crashing down into his shoulder.
He stumbled forward; fell onto his knees as he dropped his sword. He stared down at the deep wound in his shoulder. Hawke resisted the urge to run to him; for all she knew, he might attack her again. Fenris touched the gash in his flesh with his fingers; there was no blood but he was mortally wounded all the same and he knew it. He looked up; his eyes met Hawke's for the briefest of moments. He tried to say something and then he was gone.
"What… just happened?" asked Isabela, still staring at the spot where Fenris had been moments before.
"He turned on us; that's what happened," answered Aveline grimly. Her steady gaze turned on Hawke. "He turned on all of us."
Hawke shook her head; not in dissent but as though to clear her mind. "I know that," she replied curtly. "The demon focused on him. Could you have done any better when under the influence of such a being?"
"Hawke, he isn't good for you."
"Who are you to say what's good for me?" she snapped in return. "And who are you to judge him? Whatever those magisters did to him…"
"Whatever those magisters did to him, it has been six years since he escaped and he still cannot bring himself past it. He hates mages, Hawke. Do you think he'll make an exception for you? He's all twisted up inside, Hawke, and you can't do anything about it. This isn't something you can save him from."
"But Aveline," something in Hawke's voice made her friend look at her, truly look at her. "Aveline, if I don't try, who is going to?"
…
A/N: Okay, I'm having a ridiculously downer week but writing always seems to make me feel better. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Please review if you did!