Chapter 10
Author's Note: Thank you so much for the continued support of this story! Reviews, favorites, and alerts make me smile =D
I'm so happy that you like where this story is going. The buildup was slow, I'll admit that, but we're coming to the climax soon. I can't wait to read your thoughts on this chapter as we're moving closer and closer to it.
I saw the promo for season five and while excited at the one with Blair, Chuck, and Dan, it looks like in the longer one Chuck has gone back to his womanizing ways. He does look very hot in the leather jacket though. And his hair, when he was running his fingers through it, I'll stop. You can use your imagination for where my mind is going with that ;) Anyway, I will watch this new season hoping for no royal wedding and some hot Chair loving hoping these new writers are better than the season four ones.
Of Course and The Way We Were have been updated and I posted my new story, Could It Be. It's my twist on Blair being pregnant post 4x22. I hope you check it out and let me know what you think of it with a review. Chapter 2 of that story should be up by the end of the weekend.
Transformersfan214 – Thank you! Looking forward to what you think of this chapter.
Bloomerica – Thanks! I like to think of myself as practical, and I so wish Blair and Chuck acted more so on the show. I know they never will so I retreat to fanfiction and tune into the show to stare at Ed Westwick's perfect bone structure and hope Chair will be endgame. And fluff and romance are always good ;) Can't wait to read your next review.
Iwishiwasabass – Thanks so much! I'll admit, it was a slow buildup because I didn't want to rush things like the show does. That being said, as soon as they were in the same room again things were bound to pick up. So happy you loved the last chapter! I included a snippet of Chuck's journal in this chapter and will include more in the next chapter. What event in particular would you like to read about from his point of view? Let me know and I'll do my best to include it for you. Looking forward to your suggestions and your next review.
JadeWilliams – Thank you so much! Love that you like how they're taking it slow. They really do have a lot to hash out and as painful as it is to go through in the moment, they will be better for it in the long run. Can't wait to read your comments on this chapter.
LeftWriter224 – Thanks so much! The Raina/Louis talk is in this chapter but will probably carry over into the next chapter. Chair also has to discuss their various issues (trust, commitment, forgiveness) and the therapist will have fun with them in regards to those sessions. And the blow-up is imminent so brace yourself for it. Can't wait to read your next review.
Pty – Thank you so much! Things are starting to mend for our favorite couple in this story. Blair's honesty continues and I included some Chuck/Serena as well as Blair/Dan bonding in this chapter. We'll see more of Eleanor as well as Harold and the stepfathers, torturing Chuck with the "in-laws" is always fun =p Can't wait for your next review and more spoilers. Less than a week now =|
Ellibells – Thanks! Happy you picked up on the slight touch, which was huge for them considering they had gone so long without any physical contact. I do love Dan, but just as a friend for Blair and as someone to keep Chuck alert. Blair's breakdown is coming so be on the lookout for it. Can't wait to read your next review.
Butterflydoll56 – Thank you! Soon, they'll be together soon. Looking forward to what you thought of this chapter.
Frenchies – Thanks! Glad you liked Chuck's presents, and you see some of the journal in this chapter and more in the next. Talking about Louis and Raina will be hard and will take time. I also definitely plan of tackling their insecurities in future therapy sessions. Can't wait to read your review of this chapter.
Wrighthangal – Thank you! I totally followed everything you said and I completely agree. Chuck needs to give Blair her space while letting her know he's not going anywhere. The trust needs to be rebuilt between these two and it will be a struggle. I love the feedback and can't wait for more in regards to this chapter.
Maribells – Thank you so much! There will definitely be more therapy sessions addressed at specific issues Chair has, and why they love each other is one of them. They do have a lot of catching up to do with their clothes on (they'll be coming off at some point so let me know if you have any suggestions for when/how that should go down). Blair doesn't get a free pass and Chuck calls her out on that in this chapter so I can't wait to read what you think of that. I also don't want to make her a victim, while the back-stabbing needs to go away, bitchy Blair is always welcome. I'm really looking forward to your review of this chapter and any suggestions you have for future chapters.
TriGemini – Thank you so much! Season five worries me, I'm in agreement that I don't want to see that circus with Chuck-Blair-random whore triangle again. Fingers crossed for happy and smutty Chair! Blair is pushing herself too much and Chuck isn't the only one to notice it. Trust is probably their biggest hurdle to jump at this point and it needs to be present before they can start healing. As always, really looking forward to your next review.
A fan – Thanks so much! I'm so glad you find Chair's progression in this story realistic. The show will never do that but that's another rant I'll spare you ;) I agree, if this weren't a fictional romance I'd tell Blair to kick Chuck to the curb and run to the safety of Louis. But, this is fiction and Chair is epic. Chuck really needs to prove to Blair that he will fight this time and won't be deterred by any roadblocks that pop up. His financial standing is also tenuous and we'll see that play out in the next few chapters. Blair doesn't know how to pace and my reasoning behind that is that, for her, as long as she has too much on her plate, she won't be able to focus on her fractured relationship with Chuck. But she does anyway, of course. Can't wait for your next review and I love hearing others go on and on about Chair like I do, LOL!
Mikki Larentis – Thank you! You're too sweet, I do my best to write them as realistically as I can while bringing them OOC and into the future. Can't wait to read your next review.
Trosev – Thanks! The journal will play a big role in their reconciliation so keep an eye out for excerpts. Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.
Classicsaretimeless – Thanks so much! Being a frustrated Chair fan is what prompted me to write these therapy sessions so I'm glad you're finding them enjoyable to read. I always thought Chuck was a true romantic at heart but just scared of being that emotionally exposed so I love when he shows that side to Blair. And I did spend quite some time figuring out what Chuck would give Blair. Let me know what your thoughts are on the Eva/Raina/Dan/Louis talk because it will continue into the next chapter and I love reading feedback. Can't wait to read your review of this chapter.
Chairfanforever – Thank you so much! Your sentiments are spot on and discussed in this chapter. Can't wait to read your reactions to how they are in this chapter.
GGfan73104 – Thanks! They did take a very big step in moving forward and it will be a struggle for them not to fall back as they continue to talk about the others in their lives. Looking forward to your thoughts on this chapter.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or Ed Westwick – sigh.
November 14, 2011
"I will never regret driving that French tart away," Blair told with more emotion in her voice than he'd heard from her since their sessions began. "As much as Little J and Raina hurt, Eva was different to you."
"Blair, I already told you what a mistake she was," Chuck sighed. "I don't know what else to say."
"You gave her five million dollars in for a charity at her discretion," she exclaimed. "And on top of that you told all of Manhattan how she made you this new and wonderful person. Doing that you put her at the same level we were at, maybe even higher."
"So you're upset that I went public with her?" he asked, trying to figure out why she was so emotional. "Everyone knows how I feel for you, do you want it announced in some grand way? You know I'd do anything for you. Just say the word and it's done."
"I don't want you to do something with me that you did with one of your whores," she told him venomously. "The gesture would feel cheap and it would mean nothing."
She went to say something else but closed her mouth soon after, not saying a word. That's when the therapist interjected and said, "What would make you feel better? The past is the past, we've discussed that, but Chuck is trying now and there needs to be some give and take from both of you."
"No, all I've done is give during my relationship with Chuck," Blair stated as she stared at the doctor while she felt Chuck's eyes on her. "Even now, I didn't want to see him outside of therapy until I was ready. But, I gave in on that. There is a lot that I will give in on but I need to stand firm on some things."
"Harping on a past that can't be changed is a waste of time, Blair," Chuck said. "You need to move on from it."
"That's easy for you to say," she snapped. "You have very little to harp on, as you put it, with my past. And what bothers me with Eva is that while she may have fell in love with you, she didn't know who you were, She never saw how dark and tormented you really are. You hid that from her and she never got to know the real you."
"But I didn't love her," Chuck exclaimed with frustration. "What does it matter to you how she felt about me?"
"It matters because I knew all that and I loved you anyway," she told him. "It's why I fell in love with you."
"I'm sorry," he said. "I know you don't want me to apologize but I don't know what else to do. She was a mistake and I've admitted that. What more do you want? Do want me to get on my knees and grovel?"
"Chuck," Blair said as she could feel her voice cracking, "I'm not looking for you to grovel. I just want to understand why. Why did you feel such a connection to her but not to me?"
"You told me you didn't love me anymore," he said. "Eva wanted me, can you blame me for not wanting to be alone?"
"Yes, I can," she told him as she fought back her tears from forming. "I wanted you to fight for me, and you never did."
"I'm fighting now," he said.
"That doesn't mean I won't feel angry," she said. "And I'm not so much angry as incredibly sad."
"But we can move past that for now," Blair declared as she wiped at her eyes, getting rid of the few tears that escaped before they could run down her face and be more noticeable.
"Good, let's talk about Humpty Dumpty and the prince now," Chuck said with a heated look in his eyes.
"No," she said, "We'll talk about Raina first. You were with her before I was with Louis. And Dan is nothing more than a friend so I'm not discussing him further."
"That's not fair," Chuck told her. "You and Humphrey got close, don't try to deny it."
"I won't, but it's not the same. Dan and I became friends, platonic friends. We shared a brief kiss but felt nothing. You, on the other hand, It was so easy for you to open up to Raina and Eva. And they were never your friends, they were lovers," Blair stated. "Neither of them ever saw the real you, the tortured and twisted you. I did and still loved you. It's why I love you, because I could see the good in you despite all that. You're the only one who couldn't see that."
"What about you?" he asked. "You're not exactly light and airy."
"No, I'm not," she said, closing her eyes and wringing her hands in her lap. "But that's why we fit so well."
"You're infuriating," he cried out. "Why do you insist on keeping this wall between us? I'm finally fighting for you, let me in."
"And I fought for you, hard, for so long. Your idea of fighting for me has always giving up because you don't think you're good enough," she told him. "Forgive me if I'm hesitant to fully trust you again."
"But I'm not going anywhere," he told her. "I'll keep fighting for you this time."
"That's good to know," she said. "But you always moved on so fast. Why do you think I keep telling you I love you and still want you? It's because I'm terrified if I don't give you that reassurance you'll find someone else. You have this terrible fear of being alone but for now I need to be Blair Waldorf, not Chuck Bass' girlfriend."
"Blair," the therapist said before Chuck could add more fuel to the fire, "It would help Chuck to understand where you're coming from if you explained your feelings in more detail."
She sighed before turning to face Chuck, "I want you, I always have. That doesn't mean I'm not exhausted. But I'm still here, and I'm fighting for what I had with you. And there's no denying we're both damaged. But I'm trying to change so there can be no more games. As it is, we're in the most dangerous round of Russian roulette there is."
"It's a good thing neither of us are feeling trigger happy," he smirked as she smiled slightly at the reference to his letter from the summer.
"Let's end here for today," the therapist said as he put his notes on the table.
"Before someone gets shot," Blair said sarcastically as she glanced sideways at Chuck.
"Before the progress we made hits another setback," he told them. "We'll end here and pick up next week."
XOXO
Blair was under the covers reading from Chuck's journal again. Ever since he gave it to her on Saturday, she couldn't put it down. She read everything he wrote but found herself rereading his first entry. The raw emotion and vulnerability he allowed to be put into writing made her see him in a new light.
From the time he told her they were inevitable in high school, she knew he was the one she'd build her life with. Despite all their detours and numerous crashes, here they were, finally fighting equally for what they had and desperately wanted back.
Rehab was the last place I ever thought I'd go willingly. But after the year I had, nothing else seemed like an option for me anymore. I'm sitting here in this awful room thinking back to the last time I spoke with Blair. I was drunk beyond belief but I can still see the smile on her face when she told me she wasn't engaged. Even with everything I've done, she still wants me. How? I don't know, but I'm not going to question it.
She found it hard to read his accounts of Jenny, Eva, Raina, their time together after her birthday party last year. But, she also found it comforting to know that he saw how he hurt her and that he was so willing to change.
Before she could read more, she put the journal on the nightstand and gave into her exhaustion. It would probably be the only night that week that she would get a full seven hours of sleep.
November 17, 2011
"Why do I feel like we're sneaking around?" Dan asked as she took the coffee from him and resumed her place on the chaise with her textbook while he sat at her desk.
"There's no sneaking around," Blair told him as she tucked her feet under her. "You brought me coffee."
"Which I still feel weird about, it's almost nine at night," he said.
"So? I'll be up all night to write this paper," she said as she leaned back with the book in her lap to take a sip of the hot liquid.
"What is this?" Dan asked when he spotted Chuck's journal on the desk.
"Put that down," Blair exclaimed as she shot up and grabbed it from him.
"Relax," he laughed as she sat back down with the journal in her lap. "I wasn't going to read your diary."
"It's not mine," she told him.
"Who's is it then?" he wanted to know. "Is it Chuck's? No, he'd never," he stopped when he saw her biting her lip. "Chuck Bass gave you his diary?"
"Journal, and yes he did," Blair said. "Now drop it or I'm kicking you out."
"So touchy, the both of you," he grinned as she tilted her head. "Chuck and I had a nice little chat at your birthday party."
"Why?" she asked, "You two hate each other."
"Hate is a strong word, Waldorf," he told her. "I was just seeing if he was serious about making it work with you this time. I don't want to see you get hurt again."
"Oh," she said quietly, not knowing what else to say.
"For what it's worth, I think he is," Dan said. "A few months ago, he wouldn't have thought twice about hitting me for what I said."
Blair just nodded tiredly as she reached for her textbook once more.
"You sure you're okay?" he asked. "Because you look exhausted."
"I'm fine," she assured him. "I have a lot on my plate but I can catch up on my sleep when the semester is over."
"Don't think I buy that for a minute," Dan said. "And is it safe for me to ask about the therapy or should I leave now?"
"You can ask," she told him with a small smirk, "Whether or not I'll tell you is another matter entirely."
"What happened?" he inquired.
"We're making progress," Blair said. "It's messy but I'm genuinely surprised with his determination."
"Have you slept with him yet?" he asked. "Don't look so shocked, it's a legitimate question based on your history together. And we're friends now so I feel comfortable asking."
"No, I have not slept with Chuck," she said exasperatedly. "I want to, but I'm not. Now that I think about it, I'd be much more relaxed if I were."
It was now Dan's turn to be shocked as she smirked and said, "Before you ask, I'm trying not to sleep with him until our therapy sessions are over. Things between us are complicated enough to begin with that I don't need sex clouding our progress."
"How's that working for you?" he asked as the color slowly came back to his face.
"For now, good," she told him. "The no touching rule helps as well as limiting our interactions to therapy and public places to keep things appropriate."
"Do Nate and I need to keep an eye on you two?" he asked her with suspicion.
"We don't need a babysitter," she said. "And if we sleep together, it's because we want to. But for now, I'm fighting it. Why? I don't know, but I am."
She yawned as she stood up with her coffee in one hand and her textbook and Chuck's journal in the other. "Go home," she told him as she motioned for him to get up. "I need my desk and this paper won't write itself."
"Call me if you need to talk," Dan told her as he pushed back and stood next to her. "And please, get some rest."
November 21, 2011
"You only started fighting for me when your life fell to bits," she exclaimed. "Where were you when my life was falling apart? You were screwing Raina Thorpe, that's where you were."
"I already explained that she meant nothing to me," Chuck said as even he got uncomfortable with his own reasoning. He knew what he did was wrong but there was no way to change it, all that could be done was to explain and hope for forgiveness.
"I was ready to take you back with open arms when you had to meddle with getting me that photoshoot job," she told him sadly. "I wanted to be my own woman on my own terms. That job meant nothing because I only got it because you made a call."
"Calling Epperly was only to help you," he told her. "There was never any malice in my intentions. I even had that dress made for you."
"Again, I regret not taking that picture with you," she said. "But my life felt so out of control then and the only thing I could control was turning you down. Yet again, fate stepped in and kept us apart."
"You kept us apart," Chuck said. "Besides, you had Brooklyn to comfort you. I had no one."
"And whose fault is that. I've told you before, Dan is my friend," she told him. "Whether you like it or not he's in my life and you need to accept that."
"Will you finally tell me about the prince?" he asked when she stayed silent and the therapist continued taking notes of them, wanting to move away from their talk of the photoshoot and Dan Humphrey. "I've waited long enough."
"Tell your prince where your heart truly lies, tell me. I couldn't say it then but I can say it now," Blair told him. "You have my heart, Chuck, but you've broken it so many times I'm amazed I've been able to put it back together as often as I have."
"Louis put me first, without question," she said as he stared at his hands. "For the first time in months, I felt wanted. He's a sweet and gentle man that I no right to string along."
"Why were you with him then?" he asked.
"You're really asking me that?" she countered with raised eyebrows. He nodded and she rolled her eyes before saying, "I was with him because he flew three thousand miles to be with me. Louis didn't care if his parents disowned him for being with me, I was what was important to him. I liked that feeling."
"And you were with him in every sense of the word," he said.
"Yes, I slept with him and I feel awful that I did," she reaffirmed. "And not for the reasons you think. I feel awful because I knew it meant more to him than it ever would to me. As hard as I tried to tell myself he was who I should be with, it wasn't happening."
"That's why you turned down his proposal?" Chuck asked.
"I didn't even have to do that," she told him with a sad smile as she thought about the prince. "When he asked me, words failed me. I couldn't say yes and we both knew why. He left, telling me to follow my heart and that he hoped I'd find the happiness I was looking for. That's when I left to find you."
"I was in no condition to see you, or anyone," he said. "I never should have gone to that party."
"No, but you were drunk," she said. "You humiliated the both of us that night. Even then I had to know you were okay. The state you were in as you stumbled out, I didn't know if you'd be breathing when I got to you."
"It took me ten days to leave the suite after that," Chuck said. "I knew I needed rehab and finding you gone was the wake-up call to push me to do it."
"I know, I read all about it," she revealed as she looked down.
"You read it?" he asked, surprised that she didn't let him know until just now.
"Every word of it," she said. "I read it the night you gave it to me and stayed up all night until I finished it."
"What are you talking about?" the doctor asked.
"My journal, I gave it to Blair for her birthday," Chuck told him. "I wanted her to have it."
"Interesting," the doctor noted. "What made you do that?"
"I started writing it with her in mind," Chuck disclosed to them. "I don't think I could voice everything I wrote. This way she's able to know it all on her own time."
"You seem to be the one making concessions," the therapist said. "How do you feel about that?"
"It's my turn, and it's not like I haven't pushed Blair more out of her comfort level with this than she wanted," he said. "Let it go, she is."
"Alright, I like the progress we've made," the therapist said while Blair tried to hide her smile.
"What I want you both to do is to meet up outside of our sessions," the doctor told them. "And when you do that, don't discuss the past. Learn about each other's lives, find out what the other does on a daily basis."
"Lunch was nice," Chuck said.
"It was," Blair agreed. "However, I'm not able to meet with you again this week. The semester is almost over, I have papers to write and exams to study for. Maybe we could talk on the phone one night?"
"Yes," he smirked as she reached for her purse and left with a backward glance to him that left them both feeling that familiar flutter in the pit of their stomachs.
November 22, 2011
"How are things at work?" Serena asked him as they sat in the living room of his apartment.
"Fine," he told her. Chuck was still stressed over the deal with the Dubai hotel but didn't want Lily to know and try to interfere. He needed to make this work on his own, without help from anyone.
"And things with Blair?" she inquired further.
"Good, better," he said, still not wanting to divulge too much of their sessions to anyone. It was the only thing he had with Blair and he wanted to keep it to himself. "She said you two ran into each other at Columbia."
"We did," the blonde said. "She's so busy though, I don't think she's slept in weeks. I'm nervous, you know how Blair gets when she pushes herself."
"I've noticed," Chuck told her. "There's nothing we can do except brace ourselves for the fallout and hope one of us is there to pick up the pieces."
"Do you think it'll come to that?" Serena asked worriedly.
"It could, let's hope it doesn't," he said as his phone went off, it was his lawyer. "I need to take this, can you see yourself out?" he asked as he stood.
She nodded as he turned to go to his office. "Are you sure?" Chuck asked him. "Because if we go forward and everything isn't in order irreparable damage will be done and the plans may as well be scrapped."
"Okay, send it to me at home and I'll have it back to you within the hour," Chuck told him.
The final pieces of red tape had finally been cut for the renovations to begin on the Dubai hotel. He had everything riding on this project and needed to ensure it went out without a hitch. He'd probably have to go over in January to oversee that it was all going according to his specifications and to meet the key people over there.
Hopefully by then, he'd be in a better place with Blair and they'd be moving towards the reconciliation they both needed. As it was, when he wasn't consumed with work his mind always wandered to her. She was running herself ragged and he knew it was going to catch up with her. He also knew that she didn't like to be reminded of that fact so he remained quiet but alert, braced to help her pick up the pieces when she did.
November 28, 2011
The therapist took a passive approach to this session as he followed the back and forth between Chuck and Blair. He tried to intervene to get them to lower their voices but they ignored him as they continued their verbal barrage at each other.
"Tricking me into kissing that guy so you could give some stupid speech," he said. "Or what about going behind my back to Jack to get that liquor license for the Empire. And then there are the times you chose Nate and Marcus over me. You even chose Humphrey over me at the photoshoot."
"I can't believe you're going there," she cried. "You forgave me for that kiss over the speech. And do you really want to compare what we've done with Jack for the Empire. You made a deal with him, knowing that I would have sex with him, again, just so you could keep your precious Empire."
Blair was seething with rage as his words replayed themselves in her mind. "Nate and Marcus were mistakes and I told you that," she said. "Dan is my friend, end of story. I have no romantic feelings for him whatsoever. And I kissed him, once, a kiss that meant nothing."
"But since you're bringing up the past, what about the time you sent in that blast to Gossip Girl about me sleeping with you and Nate in the same week?" she exclaimed. "Or the time my life was crashing and burning because of that stunt with Miss Carr? You only cared once it was too late, I was never a priority for you."
"What I did was worse, yes," he yelled. "But what you did still hurt me."
"And I'm sorry," she yelled back. "I'm no saint, trust me, I know that. Why are you reaching so far back? I hurt you and I'm so sorry for that. But after I broke up with you over that deal with Jack and the Empire, you damaged us in ways I never did. And I'm still here, wanting you and fighting for what we had. Can we please just talk about this past year and leave the rest where it belongs?"
"Fine," Chuck said as he got angrier by the second, "What about your engagement to Louis? I know you slept with him, was it everything you imagined it would be like? Bedding a prince?"
"Don't you dare judge me for sleeping with Louis," she exclaimed. "He was the only man I was with this year. How many whores were you with? Or have there been so many that you've lost track?"
"I don't know," he told her, "Maybe twenty, thirty or so including Raina."
"You have sex with thirty women, most of whom you probably don't even remember their name and you judge me for sleeping with the one man that I was in a relationship with this past year," Blair raged. "You have some nerve."
"It wasn't just that you slept with him, you told me you made love with him," Chuck said with pain etched on his face.
"You're arguing semantics with me?" she exclaimed. "It's sex no matter the words you use to describe it."
"No, it's not just sex," he asserted. "I've only ever made love with you. There is a huge difference."
"And what's that?" she asked, not realizing how much of a difference the words meant to him.
"I love you, and being with you wasn't just physical," he told her, his voice thick with emotion. "It was more, it was everything, and I've only ever felt that with you."
"You cared for Eva and Raina, you probably even said those three words to them while in the throes," she spat as she rolled her eyes.
"I never said those words to anyone but you. And I had sex with Eva and Raina, it was nothing special," he told her. "And the whores and hookers, I fucked them."
"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" Blair asked.
"That's not why I'm telling you this," he said. "I'm telling you that you are the only woman I ever fell in love with and made love to. Being with you means more to me than anything. I gave you my heart that night in the limo, it's always been yours."
"Bullshit," she said evenly. "If that were true you never would have moved on so quickly."
"They never came close to the feelings I had for you," he told her.
"Then why did you have sex with them?" she asked as she willed the tears not to form. "It's so easy for you to have sex with random women. You say they never came close to how I made you feel. How could you go back to random fucking after making love with me? How could you do that to me?"
"Because I was afraid to be alone," Chuck said.
"That's no excuse," she told him. "Nobody likes to be alone but you don't see me fucking every man I see."
"How do you explain Jack?" he retorted. "Were you not lonely and missing me?"
"I had sex with your skeezy uncle because it was the only way he would bring you out of that hole you crawled into after Bart's death," Blair exclaimed, blanching when it hit her that she finally revealed her real reason for being with Jack to Chuck. She continued now that she had that can of worms already open. "He taunted me by saying how easy it would be for him to get you but that he had no incentive to do so. You can follow the rest on your own without me completely reliving that."
Chuck felt himself losing oxygen as his insides felt like they were on fire. "That's why you were with Jack?" he asked with quiet realization. "Why didn't you ever tell me? Knowing this would have changed everything."
"It would have made you never want to touch me again," Blair said as she stared straight in front of her. "As it is, I doubt you'll be back next week now."
Her eyes were closed when he took her hand in his, "Thank you. I'm so sorry you felt you couldn't tell me that before but I'm not going anywhere, Blair."
"Prove it," she said as she pulled her hand away from his and commanded herself not to give into the sobs she so desperately wanted to.
"Nothing has changed," he said quietly. "You've been with five men, I can't even give you a number for how many women I've been with. We don't have any secrets anymore, at least I don't think we do."
"You know everything now. But we've been here so many times before, Chuck," she said. "If we want a future we need to take a different route. We both made mistakes and I don't want us to make them again."
"If I may," the doctor cut in, "We've spent these past two months going over what's happened between you two. The hurt you feel, Blair, is real, and won't go away. And Chuck, you're hurt as well, not only by Blair's actions but also your own. My proposal at this time is to look in your hearts and see if you can forgive each other. Once you can do that, the past needs to be boxed up and discussed no more. No good will come from talking about it further."
"We can talk about this more next week," he told them. "Think about what I said and let me know your thoughts when we meet again."
They nodded as they stood up in silence. It wasn't until they were at the door that they realized it was the first time leaving one of their sessions together.
"Thank you," he said as he held the door open for her before stopping on the sidewalk.
"For what?" she asked
"Continuing to fight for us," he told her. "I don't make it easy."
"Neither do I. We still have a lot of issues to sort out," she said as she stifled a yawn. "I need to get back to school, I'll see you soon."
"When was the last time you slept?" he asked.
"Last night," she told him, leaving out the fact that it was only for three hours before she woke up early to study. "I have to go."
"I'll call you tonight," he called as she stopped in front of her towncar. She turned and nodded before stepping in as her driver closed the door behind her.
Please review if you'd like me to continue. And if I haven't heard from you yet, leave a review. Lots of you have favorited or alerted this story but have yet to leave a comment. I'd love to hear your thoughts and it's very easy to do, not to mention it would really make me smile =D
This chapter included the explosive sessions I wanted to cover because I do want to start to mend things with them more. Blair's breakdown is now imminent but she's trying desperately to keep that knowledge from anyone. Chuck is finally aware of everything between them and is on alert that Blair is at an extremely fragile place and wants to make sure he's there to help her pick up the pieces. Their dynamic is changing, it's about time he takes care of her, don't you think?
I did some foreshadowing with this chapter, could you pick up on where I'm taking them? I'd love to hear your guesses. More of Chuck's journal will be included in future chapters so you'll be able to read his thoughts on what's happened.
They will probably revisit their talk of Raina and Louis but I'm leaving it ambiguous for now. Chuck and Blair also have to discuss their summers and get caught up with the present. As always, please let me know what you wish you read so that I can incorporate it into future chapters =)
Also, what are your thoughts on them having sex again? I'm in the process of sketching out the rest of this story and I would love your feedback on this. Should it be planned and really romantic or spontaneous and in the heat of the moment? And how long do you think they should wait?
Remember, more reviews = more love = faster update =) And I love detailed reviews, the longer the better.