Thanks for the lovely birthday wishes, all! I'm touched.

More angst. If you continuously read my fics, you've heard me say this before - It's gotta get worse before it can get better.

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor am I in any way affiliated with ABC or Castle

Enjoy!

Alexis arrived home and shut the door behind her, letting out a long breath. The past few days had been hard. Everything was changing around her, and she didn't like it at all. Now, she had entered the days of no Beckett, an almost quiet version of her father, and a school in mourning after the loss of one of their own. It was like she had entered an alternate universe, and the world she had known and loved was just a dream.

She leaned back against the door for a few moments, eyes closed, before her father's voice floated towards her from the couch.

"You alright, Pumpkin?"

Alexis opened her eyes and swallowed hard, "Yeah," she said unconvincingly.

"You don't sound like it," Castle told her, looking concerned. "What's wrong?"

Alexis dropped her book bag on the floor along with her coat, and walked over to the couch. She plopped down beside her father and cuddled into him, wrapping her arms around him. "Just a rough day at school," she told him, her voice raw. It wasn't necessarily a lie. The detectives walking around asking students questions had put everyone on edge – just as it was meant to.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Castle asked, stroking his daughter's hair.

Alexis shook her head, and fell silent.

Castle didn't press, but was concerned. He laid a kiss on top of Alexis's hair, and hugged her tightly. He had been at this long enough to know that right then was the time for comforting, and not questions.

After a while, Alexis said, "I love you, Daddy, you know that, right?"

"Of course I do, I love you too," Castle leaned back slightly to look at her, brows furrowed. "Alexis, is there something I should know about?"

The teen shook her head and locked eyes with him, her ice blue ones bright with unshed tears. "No," She laid her head back down on Castle's shoulder and managed to get out, "You're my best friend."

"You're mine too, kiddo," Castle said softly, "You're mine too."

Castle was up entirely too late.

He knew that being up at 4:30 in the morning was beyond the point of reason. It was a time when some people woke up. Not a decent time to still be awake.

But he couldn't help it. Late night to early morning was quickly becoming his favorite part of the day. He could just sit in his study and think. He didn't have to pretend to be "getting over" Beckett, or have to be a functioning member of a family.

But Castle had promised himself he was going to get some sleep tonight.

He had gone through all the motions. He got changed, washed his face, brushed his teeth, and climbed into his bed, now foreign to him. He slid between the cold sheets, got comfortable, and then proceeded to stare at the ceiling of his bedroom.

He tried several times to close his eyes, but to no avail. Sleep didn't come to bring any kind of a respite. Didn't even have the kindness to numb his ever-active brain.

Exhausted in a way he hadn't been before lying down, he got up and padded into his study.

The room late at night had never been unfamiliar to him, for he had spent many a night there over the years, typing away at his latest best seller, but it was even more familiar now. Now, he regarded the room as an old friend. It was there he could face the demons he attempted to keep at bay during the day for his family's benefit. It was there that he could either try to make himself feel better, or sink lower into his misery.

Tonight, Castle chose the latter. Grabbing a leather bound photo album from the shelf, he walked over to his desk and took a seat. The photo album had been an accident, really. It started with a photo. Just one measly picture he had taken of his Kate at a crime scene when they first started working together. He hadn't been able to help himself. It was all so new, and he was so fascinated, and she was so…pretty.

So, he kept it. Printed it out on photo paper, and kept it at his desk. Not framed, just laying there. He had told his family it was for his novels. That was the first time he had ever used that excuse.

The photos gradually built over the years. A snapshot of them at the Metropolitan American Dance Theater event. A picture of them at his Halloween party. A silly picture he had taken of them on his phone around Christmastime. The collection had grown until there was a neat stack of images on his desk. All for the same reason of course – reference photos for Nikki Heat.

Castle had bought the album just a few months back when the stack had begun to look like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, and spent a rainy, murder-less afternoon putting them all in. He hadn't told her about the album yet, of course. There hadn't really been a need to. He had the real thing. He got to see her almost everyday. Why would he need to look at photos too?

Recently though, he couldn't put it down. He had flipped through it so many times over the past 16 days that he had memorized the order.

27 photos. That was all Castle had left of 3 years of partnership.

Just 27 photos.

He sighed, and closed the album. He had seen them all before, but it took all of his willpower to once more cover up her face. Whenever he looked through the photos, his eyes drank in that face. He heard her laugh. Felt her next to him.

But it wasn't real.

Just like their relationship.

"It was all a lie," Castle whispered hoarsely to the cover of the album.

He felt so damn stupid. Lord knows, Beckett had told him Nikki Heat was more fiction than fact. But he didn't listen. He took it as her just maintaining her oh-so-cool cover. He had heard what he wanted to.

But there had been moments when he had been 100 percent convinced she felt something too. Convinced there was something more to them than partnership. There was a spark. There was friendship.

She had told him she liked having him around.

She lied.

She had told him "always".

She lied.

Castle reopened the photo album in true masochistic fashion, and stared at the first picture. It was his favorite. Beckett was laughing. The sun was shining. Times had been good.

"You're a liar," he told the picture. He shook his head and sighed, and then whispered, "I love you."

He didn't give a shit about Nikki Heat anymore.

He just missed his Kate.

Castle blinked in surprise when his phone chirped beside him, alerting him to a new message on his phone. He glanced at the ID, and furrowed his eyebrows.

Esposito?

Quickly opening the message, he read:

Bro. Grabbing a beer after work tomorrow. You in?

Castle frowned. The invitation wouldn't have been half as odd if it hadn't been for the time.

Don't think so. He typed back. Thanks.

He only had to wait a few moments before his phone beeped again.

You don't really have a choice. On the early shift, so Ryan and I will be off around 5. We go to the bar by the precinct. Be there.

What did you like? What didn't you? What is Espo and Ryan's plan?

Review!

I'll include more advancement of the case in the next chapter.