Humiliation
At the break of the 20th century, China was in turmoil. The old Confucian conservatives were in struggle against the reformers, ending with Empress Dowager Cixi dominating the Chinese court. In order to gain popular support and drive out foreign powers, she allowed a group called the Boxers to attack foreigners. This was the Boxer Rebellion.
Wang Yao, or China, was a man who had seen much blood in his life as a nation. After all, China always had blood spilt in its countless rebellions. But this time, it was a different sort of rebellion. He was fighting against foreign devils, barbaric beasts that dared pollute his Chinese ways.
He was doing this not in his capacity as a nation, but one as a Chinese and on his own accord. Yao was among his people, the Boxers, and they were fighting foreigners and Christians with only their kung fu and traditional weapons. Yao needed no weapons, just his hands would do.
"You took everything away from me!" Yao cried, punching into a businessman, "you robbed my people and poisoned them with opium!"
Yao turned around and kicked into the gut of a fellow Chinese lady. However, Yao knew better as that one carried a cross rosary on her neck.
"Your mind has been defiled by those Christians," Yao said, "May you find peace in your next life."
Yao quickly pulled out his sword and slashed into another foreign man in his way. However, a bullet had grazed and narrowly missed him. Yao turned around and found England standing before him. Next to England, there was the British Army to carry the Union Jack. It was only then he realised that his fellow Boxers had died and their corpses laid all over him.
"Japan and Germany are quite disturbed by how their politicians had died in these attacks, but to think that you the nation would be involved," England said, "you claim we are barbaric, yet you're no different yourself."
"You…you polluted my lands with your opium," China snapped, "You have no right to say I'm barbaric! You forced me into this!"
"Give it up, China," England said, "or me taking Hong Kong and Weihai Garrison wasn't enough for you."
"Get out of my home now!" China yelled back, "I just want things to be like before, where I did not need to deal you lands of Europe!"
"Sadly, times have changed…" England replied, "I am not alone in this."
Suddenly, footsteps were heard marching in. There were a vast amount of men marching in, all carrying various flags. France, Russia, America, the Italy brothers, Germany (with Prussia), Austria (with Hungary) and Japan were leading these armies, with their respective banners flying proudly in the air.
"Normally we would be fighting, but our collective interests are threatened," England said.
"And so forth we joined forces as the Eight-Nation Alliance," America continued, "and the hero will end your chaos-making!"
"Seriously, this bout is uncalled for," Austria said, "but you must be dealt with, I guess."
"China, why must you do this?" Italy voiced out.
"China, you can live with me if you don't like them," Russia spoke.
"NO way, you barbarian!" snapped China.
Japan then stepped out from his army and walked towards China. China tried to dash to Japan, but Japan quickly pulled out his katana to fight China.
"I've given you Korea and Taiwan, what else you wanted!" China yelled, "I should've let you rot in your islands back then!"
"Chugoku-san, it is your weakness not being able to adapt to the changing times, however you are still blind to it," Japan spoke calmly, "and that is why you…"
With one strike, China lost his grip of his only weapon and knelt down in pain. Japan's katana was brought down at his chin, forcing him not to stand up. By then, the feeling of a rapier almost stung his back along with a bayonet. Even the other nations had their weapons out and aiming at China.
"…You have lost since the Opium War," Japan said, "you've been slacking since the Mongol conquest."
"But I held off the Mongols for you…" China said weakly.
Suddenly, France threw China around and tossed him such that the two nations faced each other.
"French Empire…" China muttered.
"Bonjour Chine, I am now the Third Republic of France after a little joke from God," France introduced, while staring at Prussia, "but I am still he who took Annam and Cochinchina under my rule. And I am glad I did that too, away from a barbarian like you."
"You…" China muttered.
"Everybody, I think we should carry on our discussion indoors," Russia said, "We should really discuss how we are to divide the loot."
"Okay, but I have keeps in Yunnan Province," France cheerfully claimed, "and I think I'll start now."
France kept away his rapier and began to rip open China's mandarin shirt.
"Oi, I thought we agreed to not harass China right now!" Germany exclaimed.
"Ja, he's still the same after all these years," Austria lamented.
"I should take a picture of this…" thought Hungary, while staring at France's 'conquest' of China.
"This is very indecent," Japan lamented.
"You frog, stop snatching away all the good parts for yourself!" yelled England.
"I am not, my hands are just moving on their own!" France claimed, "Oh, I found Hainan!"
"The Europeans are so hard to understand…" Japan thought.
"Bruder, we should be getting to the countryside now," Germany said, "the other Boxers are still out there and they must be stopped."
It was later on that the Boxer Rebellion was quelled in all of China. All settlements were to be settled in the following Boxer Protocol.
China was hurt, if not devastated, by his failed rebellion. As he wrapped his legs in gauze bandages, he shuddered to think what punishments the Alliance would make on him.
"These foreigners… they took Annam, Cochinchina, Hong Kong, Macau, Korea, Joseon, and Taiwan already…" China told himself, "They couldn't possibly want more… will I be partitioned?"
China looked at his hand and realised that they were shaking in fear; he quickly pulled a stripe of bandage to fasten those on his arms. China then turned to a basin and washed off the bloodstain from his face.
"I must stay calm even at defeat, this is not the first time after all," China said, "maybe I am really slacking in my years."
He doused the water on his face and looked up to his mirror, tying his hair back in a ponytail.
"Maybe it's the dynastic changes, Japan's Emperors had been in the same household for centuries," China noted, "but those barbarians still possess the better stuff. Like that time in the Opium Wars…"
China was then on board one of his junks, massive Chinese ships highlighted by her mighty sails. It was during the Opium War, where in China wanted England to stop the opium trade. To this end, he was out at sea to face the British Navy.
"It's been a long time since I let out these big boys," China said, "英国，你死定了!"
Suddenly, a barrage of cannonballs struck into the hull of China's entire fleet and sank their Treasure Fleets. Over the horizon to the west, he saw several ships and they held the Union Jack high on their masts.
Later, China found himself on the shores of his homeland. Standing astride in front of the Chinese Empire, it was England in his red pirate coat. He grabbed China by the collar of his mandarin shirt and placed his sword near his throat. At close view, China could see the thick eyebrows – demonic features befitting a foreign devil.
"英国…" China muttered.
"Remember me, old man," England gloated, "I made all the trouble to sail to your house, and you rejected my warm arrival as if I was another bloody barbarian. Then you droned in on how my King should pay tribute to your fucking Emperor, I don't see why I should pay tribute to a loser now."
"No fair… you launched a surprise attack on me…" China claimed.
"Excuses excuses, open up the opium trade now!" England demanded, "Also, I will be taking Hong Kong as well!"
Suddenly, both France and Portugal had arrived by England's side. France went on to poke China profusely with a stick.
"You frog, what are you doing?" England shouted.
"Angleterre, I heard you were fighting Chine," France said, "so I thought that as a good neighbour, I should come and help you too."
"I kind of finished off his fleet of junks rather quickly," England replied, "the Spanish Armada is more of a challenge for me."
"I heard you gave England little Hong Kong," Portugal said, "So does that mean I can take Macau too?"
"Aiyaa, that was a tragic moment indeed," Chian lamented, "must I adopt their… No, I had learnt my lesson in the Taiping Rebellion."
During the Taiping Rebellion, there were a group trying to convert the Chinese into Christianity. This had forced the country into turmoil of a civil war, and China himself managed to meet Hong Xuiquan, the leader of those Christians and self-proclaimed Heavenly King of Taiping Heavenly Kingdom.
The meeting was like any other he would make with would-be rulers, to talk with them of their claims to him. Those who succeeded received China's blessings and a major advantage in coming battles against other warring competitors for the throne. However, this time was slightly different.
"So you are the one causing all this racket in Nanjing lately," China stated calmly, "under what assumption of Heaven do you act?"
"Heaven? You must be misled by the Confucians," Hong said, "I am the younger brother of Jesus Christ, the Son of the Heavenly Father God."
"So you claim to be related to the Jade Emperor," China exclaimed, "and I know not this Jesus Christ? Is he some new deity of the pantheon?"
"No no, I am a faithful Christian and have no ties to these old pagan thoughts," Hong said, "God has sent me on a mission to deliver you into His Grace. He wishes for the expulsion of the Manchu devils and bring you into Paradise."
"I don't understand you one bit. Let's talk about your policies instead," China said, "I heard you allowed women into civil service, right?"
"Yes, one of the needs to create an equal society befitting the Christian ways," Hong explained.
"That's a problem. Take advice from me, I had seen a female boss once," China spoke, "she was cruel and ruthless and…"
"But I will lead you and guide you, and so shall my son and his son," Hong claimed.
"Women must be controlled or chaos ensures, it was like when all the women were trying to claim power from their husbands, even resorting to murder at times," Chian said, "this goes against the Ways of Confucius."
"He is a lowly deceiver, lower than the prostitutes!" Hong yelled, "I urge you to abandon the devil's lies and join me!"
China had no reaction to Hong's rage. Instead, he sipped his tea and took out a Bible from his sleeves.
"This book… I was told that this would be the new material for the imperial exams," China said, "but it's so difficult to understand what it is saying."
"I can guide you along in the Holy Bible, where you can understand and appreciate His Grace," Hong said, "join me and be baptised. I will grant you your rebirth, you shall be named Taiping."
Suddenly, there was a slight explosion in the chamber. Behind the smoke, both England and France came in. England was sitting on a cannon and France appeared to have pushed it.
"Chine, don't listen to that liar!" France said, "The Pope of the Vatican has condemned him as a deceiver of Man. His lies have polluted the purity of the Orient."
"Don't worry, we are behind you all the way," England added, "if you really wanted to experience Christianity, you should have asked me to baptise you in the Church of England."
"Angleterre, I believe that Chine needs to learn the goods of Catholic virtues!" France exclaimed, "I can teach you those virtues…"
"No no, their customs are too bizarre. Even their Christianity is split into so many parts!" China cried, "Japan need not to have their religion. No, I'm using Japan as a guide. He bullied me so much…"
Then, his whining over the past soon ended with a knock on the door.
"中国大人，您准备好吗?" asked the servant, "八国联军已经非常不满意了."
"好，我好了," China replied.
Soon, China was at the negotiation table with the Eight-Nation Alliance. Normally, he preferred to speak in a round table. However, China opted for a long table for the Eight Nations to sit on one end and China on the other side.
"I don't want to be near any of them… especially after what France did to me…" China thought, taking his seat, "wait, is that…"
By then, China realised that there was another guest… someone he did not expect. Taiwan was there, and seated next to Japan. However, she was dressed in a pink kimono…a Japanese national clothing.
"Japan, are you humiliating me even more?" China thought.
"Now that our host have arrived and all of us done crushing those stupid Boxers, we can begin the diplomacy," England said, "I give any one of you a chance to voice your grievances… starting now."
"You shit; we lost so many Italians because of you!" Romano shouted, "You better give us compensation for this!"
"I will be taking custody of Manchuria now," Russia said, "while I'm at it, I should take Mongolia and Xinjiang, da?"
"But that's nearly all of my northern territories!" China exclaimed.
"Since Russia wants the north, there's no conflict to me adding Guangzhou Bay into my French Indochina," France proclaimed, "and I fell in love with Hainan, so I think I will take it too."
"So China, how does it feel to be stripped of your regions?" Prussia mocked, "Better be prepared, because we are taking Shandong."
"And the Huang He Valley will be property of the German Empire," Germany said bluntly, "never again will the Chinese look askance at the Germans."
"Austria," Hungary whispered, "we should be getting some pieces of the pie. Quickly, before Prussia takes all the good parts like last time."
"Eh, eh… I believe you should apologise to the affected powers whose diplomats had been murdered," Austria said.
"Sissy demands," Prussia scoffed.
"Austria, I actually wanted you to claim something like Fujian region," Hungary voiced out.
"A colonial empire may not be in our interests," Austria replied, "Transylvania is still rebelling, and the Balkans is getting madder nowadays with Serbia around."
"Hmm, did I hear Fujian?" Japan said, "I was considering adding that to my Empire. It is reasonably close to Taiwan's house."
"Hey you gits, you can't just anyhow grab every part of China like a sale's going on," England said, "I will take the whole Yangtze Valley and put Tibet under British protection."
"Big Bro, do you want pasta for dinner tonight?" Italy asked.
"You idiot, stake your claims on China now!" Romano yelled as he strangled Italy, "They are taking away everything, even the damned mountains!"
"England, are you trying to stop me from getting to the warm south?" Russia asked, "this is the Great Game again, da?"
"Quite greedy today, Angleterre," France mocked, "don't you already have India to worry about."
"I won't let you or anyone else gobble up China," England said, "don't get me wrong. I'm doing this in the name of British interests, not because of you."
"This feels like the Partition of Poland all over again, only on a larger scale," Austria thought.
"These Europeans… they are staking their claims on my lands so casually," China thought.
"Oh no, they are trying to partition China," America thought nervously, "my boss won't like it if we don't have any more business in the Far East. Gotta do something about it…"
"Wait everybody, I have an idea!" America proclaimed, "how about we do this Open Door Policy. China retains independence, but he must declare his ports and interior open for us to use freely. And I will not accept any objections."
"I completely agree with America-san," Japan stated.
Suddenly, the phone on the table rang and Japan picked up the phone.
"Moshi moshi?" asked Japan.
"Japan, have your own opinion every once in a while!" Switzerland yelled on the other end, "If I were in that meeting right now, I would have you gunned down!"
"I had been threatened…" Japan thought, "Should I state my opinion?"
"France may be right… perhaps China is too big for me to swallow…" England thought.
"Okay, as much I hate to say this…" England spoke up, "…but I also agree with America here. The Open Door Policy is the best compromise."
"However, you must still apologise for Baron von Ketteler's death," Germany insisted, "and there must be an arch made in honour of him, and written in Chinese, German and Latin."
China clenched his fists, but eventually stood up and bowed respectfully to Germany and Prussia.
"Sorry for your Baron's death," he said.
"Ha ha, the downfall of yet another superpower to a rising star on the international scene!" Prussia boasted, "I am so proud of you, West."
"Blockhead…" Austria muttered.
"Kraut…" France remarked crudely.
"My opinion… here goes nothing," Japan thought.
"Everyone, I wish that we foreign powers would leave China alone… for now," Japan stated, "Russia-san, you are to evacuate all your forces from Manchuria now."
"Japan, it's unlike you to say your opinion like that!" Taiwan exclaimed, "I'm so proud of you."
"Japan, mind your business," Russia replied calmly, "you also wanted to get Manchuria, da?"
"You…" Japan cried, who felt annoyed.
"I can take my time," Russia said, "I have all the time in the world, da?"
"Russia, take your troops and leave Manchuria," England said, "you should be satisfied enough with Port Arthur."
"But it looks all alone there, it could help if I can connect it with the Motherland da," Russia said.
"Don't push your luck, you bloody Russian!" England snapped.
"Yes yes, Signore England," Romano cried.
"Big bro, why use the term Signore?" asked Italy.
"Encarredo usted," Romano whispered, "Él es el Imperio Británico, el país más poderoso que existe. Estamos locos le cabrean."
"Okay okay, just stop strangling me," Italy quickly complied.
"Then I guess an indemnity will be a compromise from us," Austria agreed, "that includes all eight of us, with Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Sweden and Norway."
"But I need my money for state reforms!" China exclaimed.
"You only have yourself to blame," Austria coldly replied, "be grateful it is money and not land we are taking."
"But I really wanted the beautiful scenery of Southern China," France lamented, "but you can at least take down those ugly unfashionable Taku Forts in Tianjin."
"Do I have a choice in this?" China said, "I will accept everything you say. There's no need to have this meeting to humiliate me further!"
China just slumped on the table and banged his fists. Japan began to tremble and sweated at China's angst, and Taiwan looked on worried. Russia only continued smiling at China's despair, while America took out a piece of paper and wrote something on it. He then gave it to China.
"Just slam that cool-looking dragon chop on the document and the following demands will be implemented," America explained, "your territorial right will be preserved, but you still have to pay compensation to us."
"It's either money or my lands or my body…" China said, "I have no alternative left…"
China grabbed his dragon-shaped chop and sealed the document with his Imperial Seal.
"Chugoku-san, you are suffering…" Japan thought, "Please, I could help you."
"Seeing China like that, I couldn't help but smile," Russia thought.
"When he's in such utter despair, he's a work of art and to think that moi had a part in it," France thought, chuckling all the way, "he will make an excellent trophy in my den."
"It's either his independence or those gits looting him inside out, then I will be forced to overstretch myself again," England thought, "yes, I am doing this only for myself, not for charity."
"I shouldn't be here in the first place," Austria thought, "stuck with old rivals and a few undesirables makes me churn with disgust."
"Japan… he seems rather peculiar, yet still interesting…" Germany thought.
"My boss will be satisfied with today's results," America thought.
"Never again… I must reform myself…" China thought.
"Pasta or Chinese noodles tonight?" thought Italy.
Translations
英国，你死定了 – England, you're dead.
中国大人，您准备好吗 – China Sir, are you ready
八国联军已经非常不满意了 – The Eight-Nation Alliance are getting restless
好，我好了 – Okay, I am ready
Signore – Lord
Encarredo usted – Shut up will you
Él es el Imperio Británico, el país más poderoso que existe. Estamos locos le cabrean – He's the British Empire, the most powerful country there is. We are mad to piss him off.
Author's Notes: These are some future projects I may consider. Don't get too excited, they are not finalised.
1. Falklands War (need to get the character for Argentina going)
2. something from the Napoleonic times
3. Either the West Indies Federation or colonisation of Tobago(by Courland)
4. Litbel (Lithuanian-Belorussian Soviet Socialist Republic)
5. Mongol Empire (either East Asia, Southeast Asia, Mid East, or Europe front)
Please give some input on them.