Marriage

After World War I, Europe was marred in chaos. This was especially true in the former Russian Empire under the tides of revolution. The new nations of Eastern Europe were Poland and the Russian SFSR, both trying to reclaim their old lands back.

Russia was one nation troubled by his bloody past, and his current state was no better. He could feel the pains of revolution boiling in his body, with the Reds fighting the Whites. However, he knew that the Reds would win this and sided with Lenin.

The revolution did not unsettle Russia, neither did the prospect of Poland attacking him frightened him. What that shook the nerves of Russia, was the entity a door away from him…Byelorussia.

"Brother, let's get married…" she called out, "the Great War must have exhausted you, join me and we can weather this crisis together."

"Belaya, I am very much okay now!" Russia exclaimed, hiding behind a couch, "you can leave me alone now please!"

"But Brother, the Whites have scored victory in several places," Byelorussia claimed, "You need some more support. Let's have a more intimate relationship now."

"GO HOME!" Russia yelled.

That was the typical case between Russia and his sister, Byelorussia, during these days. Russia did not like her sister's attempts to force marriage, with Byelorussia bent on tying the knot.

"And that is what happened to the door," Russia noted.

Lithuania had arrived at Russia's request, bringing with him the other two Baltic States. The three Baltics were examining the door, which was damaged by Byelorussia scratching it. Even the wonderfully-designed doorknob was ripped off the door proper.

"Ms Byelorussia actually did that to the door…" Estonia gulped, "oh my…"

Latvia had nothing to say about it; he had already fainted on the spot and was on Estonia's lap.

"As you can see, this situation is getting very dire for me," Russia said, "there is a Civil War back home and Belaya is harassing me."

"Ms Byelorussia is just misunderstood," Lithuania said, "just give her a chance."

"But she single-handedly tore down that door from Turkey," Estonia mentioned, "they are quite rare nowadays."

"Forget about the door!" Russia exclaimed, "My life is being threatened by her! I need someone to keep her busy and away from me!"

"Lord Russia, I am quite busy in my house," Estonia said, "You know, the Great War has been kind of… Got to run now! Sorry, sorry!"

Estonia took Latvia on his back and dragged both of them away from Russia's place at once.

"Lithuania, run!" thought Estonia, "it is not safe anymore…"

"Estonia can really run; I should have used him in the Olympics," Russia noted, "but back to the problem… Lithuania, you will help me, da~?"

"Like how?" wondered Lithuania.

"You like Belaya, da?" Russia spoke.

"No no, of course not!" Lithuania exclaimed.

Russia only giggled to Lithuania's flustered response, and took out a small diary. It had the name "Toris Lorinaitis" written on its cover, and it was followed by "Rusijos Imperija Era".

"I was looking everywhere for it!" Lithuania exclaimed.

"I found it in your room before the February Revolution," Russia said, "let me read some entries I found… rather interesting… KolKolKol…"

Russia began to open the book and flipped through its pages. Then, he stopped and read out its contents.

Today, I met Baltarusija on a date by the shores of the Black Sea. She was in her usual attire, but her beauty put to shame even the glow of the Black Sea itself. She gestured for me to come onward, and I swaggered towards the siren that was White Russia. The next thing was that I was swimming in the Black Sea, and Baltarusija stood on the surface, looking down on me with those beautiful cold eyes…

"Seems to me that you like my little sister," Russia commented, "Since you are my favourite, I believe I should do you some justice."

"Like what…" Lithuania asked, while shaking in fear.

"KolKolKol… how about I hook you…" Russia said.

"No, I don't want to be impaled!" Lithuania yelled, "Please, anything but the impaling!"

"Actually, I was thinking of being a matchmaker and hook you up with Belaya here," Russia said.

"Me… with Ms Byelorussia… uh this is…" Lithuania stuttered, "Lord Russia… you're… so kind!"

"KolKolKol, and I will protect you two and keep you two together," Russia said, "you are to ensure her to be out of my way, and I need someone as a buffer against Poland."

The news of Russia arranging a marriage union soon spread throughout the world like wildfire.

"I have no time for this!" Germany exclaimed, "I still need to pay back France! It's all work, work, work here!"

"Times really have changed…" Sweden thought, staring into the wedding invitation.

"I have to get something for the happy couple," Finland remarked.

"Personally, I would prefer a Poland over Lithuania," Hungary claimed.

"Wow, another union of Nations," Czech remarked, "Slovakia, Cupid is really doing its magic on us."

That so?" replied Slovakia.

"Clustering among one another is so weak and un-awesome!" Prussia proclaimed.

"What… Lithuania…with M-Ms Bye-Byelorussia…" Estonia stuttered, "LAATTVVVIIIAAA! Don't faint on me!"

"So sister, congratulations on your wedding," Ukraine mentioned.

"Huh? I'm married to Brother?" exclaimed Byelorussia.

"Rus told me that he planned to wed you to Lithuania," Ukraine said, "you mean you didn't know of it?"

Byelorussia only shook her head in reply, and she began playfully juggle the knife in her hand.

"Uh… enough about that, let's talk about the War's aftermath," Ukraine said quickly, "I heard Poland is still trying to reclaim the lands since the Commonwealth days and…"

"Your point being?" asked Byelorussia.

"I recall that Poland took the both of us during the Times of Trouble into his Commonwealth," Ukraine said, "we should be careful of that guy's movements."

"Thank you Sister, I will be careful around that cross-dresser," Byelorussia replied, "and I find this meal to be very interesting. If you excuse me…"

Byelorussia stood up from her table and walked out of Ukraine's house. Ukraine grew more worried, and walked up towards her sister.

"Bela, is there something wrong?" Ukraine asked.

"I just want to clarify some issues…" Byelorussia said, "I hope to dine with you another day. By the way, I will only marry Brother and no one else."

Thus, Byelorussia went on a rampage to find answers of this strange idea. Meanwhile, Russia's boss, Vladimir Lenin, visited Russia again from another battle.

"Russia, I applaud your attempts to create this union against the imperialist ambitions of Poland," Lenin said.

"Thanks, I was actually thinking of a name for it… like how Austria came up with his own with Hungary," Russia said, "I was thinking of calling it the Lithuanian-Belorussian Soviet Socialist Republic."

"That's kind of long-winded actually," Lithuania commented, "how about Litbel?"

"Good name, da," Russia answered, "you better keep Belaya away from me or you will pay…Russian style."

"O-of course…" Lithuania replied.

Suddenly, the door literally burst open and Byelorussia walked in.

"Brother, I heard the most blasphemous rumour since the Polish rule chain letter," Byelorussia said, "that you plan to give me to that Lithuania."

"Da," Russia replied, as he gulped in fear to his sister's reactions.

"S-so y-you… you don't lo-love me…" Byelorussia spoke softly.

"No," Russia answered, "you are scary and frightening me since the days in the Kievan Rus. I wish you all the best with Lithuania; he will be a good husband da."

"Bro-brother…" Byelorussia said, "you-…"

Byelorussia just ran out of the house in a rush. Russia let out a breath of relief.

"Da, I have defeated my little sister for once in centuries," Russia proclaimed, "I shall go celebrate in the local bar with Latvia and Estonia. Lithuania, want to join me?"

"No thanks, Russia," Lithuania answered, "I'm going out to find Baltarusija. She was heartbroken by your comments, and I don't want anything to happen to her."

With that, Lithuania ran out after Byelorussia and left Russia to himself. Russia was only confused as to Lithuania's behaviour.

"He really do like Belaya, da?" Russia noted.

"The nature of human love… I presume that you Nations do not truly understand that element," Lenin remarked, "but Russia, I am here to discuss on Poland's so-called strategies."

"Da?" responded Russia.

"Apparently he seeks cooperation with the other Nations and imperialist groups," Lenin described, "Poland plans to recreate his empire in Eastern Europe and to weaken you."

"I won't worry too much about the Pole," Russia said.

"This could do badly for the World Revolution though," Lenin pointed out.

Lithuania chased after Byelorussia, a journey that traversed entirely the whole of Eastern Europe. Soon, they met on the harbours of Leningrad (the former St. Petersburg). Lithuania began to approach Byelorussia, who was standing inches away from a watery death.

"Balta…" Lithuania called out.

"Stop calling me in your Lithuanian tongue…" Byelorussia shouted.

"So-sorry… Ms Byelorussia," Lithuania said, "sorry for what happened then…"

"It's always you… why Brother always wants you!" Byelorussia yelled, "I also wanted him, but he… h-he don-doesn't love me… no-nobody lo-loves me…"

Lithuania slowly approached Byelorussia, but a knife shot out and struck inches away from Lithuania's feet.

"Back off…" she said coldly.

"If Ivan doesn't love you, then I will…" Lithuania said.

Byelorussia did not answer back, but she turned back to face Lithuania. It was then that Lithuania saw the cuts on Byelorussia's wrists.

"Oh dear, you need to be cleaned," Lithuania exclaimed.

He ran towards Byelorussia to grab her, but she resisted with another knife she kept up her sleeves. However, Lithuania simply grabbed the knife with his bare hands and threw it away. With his bloodied hands, he carried Byelorussia away.

"No one will be happy if you end your life like that," Lithuania said, "let's get you healed up first, and then we can talk things out with Russia."

Meanwhile, the news of the Litbel Republic soon spread to nearly all corners of the world. These included a particular Pole, during a meeting with the Allies.

"Poland," England called out, "how's the situation in the East? Is Germany doing anything funny?"

"Going alright, a bit of problems here and there, but like great still," Poland answered, "although I want Liet back."

"Speaking of mon petite Lithuania, he should be heureux about his wedding," France said.

"OMFG!" screamed Poland, "Liet's like getting married and before me! That's so not-cool. To whom?"

"Mademoiselle Byelorussia, Russia's little sister," France answered immediately, "In fact, their union will be called the Litbel Republic."

"No freaking way that's gonna happen!" Poland exclaimed, "That girl is like her brother, a total nut case. She used to break all of Liet's fingers when they were children!"

"I love le feisty women, to control them and break their will is sweet victory," France claimed.

"With that aside, I think there must some motive on part of Russia," England said, "France, let me guess the government style…Bolshevik-ruled."

"Bingo mon ami!" France exclaimed, "It is a Soviet Republic, like the ones in Hungary and Bavaria."

"We have to contain the Communists at once!" England proclaimed, "Poland, get your act together and reel in Eastern Europe on your side."

"So you imply that the breakup of Lithuania and Byelorussia would happen," France said, "Angleterre, to destroy young love is so sinful…"

"Bah, the Great War may have been over but chaos still gripped in Europe," England snapped back, "you better don't come knocking and whining to me when the Bolshevik Red flies over Hungary, Austria and Germany."

"So… you are willing to destroy the love of your best friend…" France said, staring at Poland.

"Duh!" replied Poland resoundingly, "I'm like all Liet needs, and no one else replaces that position!"

"But you may have to face Russia if you plan to resist him," England said, "France and I can assist you if you need to."

"Nah, I got everything worked out while you and France were bickering," Poland said, "thanks for the offer, but Russia is no cake for me. His client state will be crushed in no time."

Later on, Lithuania had treated Byelorussia's injuries in his home. While in her sleep, Byelorussia dreamt of the old times before…

After Mongol conquest of the Kievan Rus, both Ukraine and Byelorussia found themselves under the care of Poland-Lithuania. In the Year 1410, the Teutonic Knights waged the Battle of Grunwald against both Poland and Lithuania.

"So you are going out to war again…" Byelorussia spoke, "I won't be missing you."

"The Teutons are a dangerous force," Lithuania warned, "Even after I converted into Christianity, they still dare fight us and blow up the matter to the Papal States."

"They just want to fight, using the excuse of the Crusades," Byelorussia replied.

"Mind that you are still an Orthodox, and the Order-State may do you and your sister harm," Lithuania warned, "I won't let those insults to knights defile your lands."

"Only you and that Poland guy are fighting against the Order State," Byelorussia stated, "just be careful. If you fall, the Order-State may prey on my Brother's lands."

"I won't be too worried about Muscovy, he did manage to repel against the Golden Horde," Lithuania said, "farewell, and I shall see you again…"

Then, Byelorussia woke up from her sleep. She saw her wrists were bandaged up and the blood stains were gone; Lithuania was sitting beside her and looked over her.

"Baltarusija, Jūs pabusti," Lithuania said.

"Speak properly and not in your Lithuanian," Byelorussia demanded.

"Sorry, so you're okay now," Lithuania said.

"You… you healed me…" Byelorussia said, looking at her hands, "…and what else you had done to me!"

"Nothing at all, Ms Byelorussia," Lithuania politely said.

"Since my clothes are still on, I shall take your word for it," Byelorussia said, "I only belong to Brother and that's that."

"Of course," Lithuania said, "but your Brother just wants to keep you safe."

"And won't I by his side forever do that?" Byelorussia claimed.

"He's currently in quite a fix himself with the civil war and all," Lithuania said.

"All the more I should stay by his side," Byelorussia said, "Sister and I never had the chance during the Golden Horde times. You see, he forbad us to speak to Brother."

"Bad times for everyone then," Lithuania remarked.

"I don't want the same tragedy to happen again…" Byelorussia said.

"We will have to sort things out with Russia," Lithuania said.

After some time, both Lithuania and Byelorussia had returned to Russia's house. By then, both Estonia and Latvia were busy in a printing machine as Russia looked frightened at a letter he just received.

"Russia, what is the matter?" Lithuania asked.

Russia spoke no word in reply, only handed the letter for Lithuania and Byelorussia to see.

Hey Russia,

Like, tear away that Litbel Republic idea of yours totally. Or else, your capital will seriously become Warsaw for sure.

P.S. This ain't a chain letter, so don't like think you'll be saved by printing 3 copies and sending them to your friends (if any).

With Love,
Anonymous

"Poland…" Lithuania thought.

"Da, so for my rights as a Nation, I have to take back the orders for the Litbel Republic," Russia said, "Estonia and Latvia are helping me to print out the news, da."

"Brother… I think you are being threatened by someone," Byelorussia said, maintaining a creepy expression, "let's be one together, and I will protect you from all the evils in the world."

"Get AWAY from ME!" Russia yelled.

Soon, the news of Litbel was repealed and the Nations soon learnt of it too.

"And I wasted so much Finnish markka on the gift!" Finland exclaimed.

"Ho ho, Poland over Lithuania will be put into operation man," Hungary cackled.

"Loneliness is awesome No. 1!" Prussia declared, "Even God and Old Fritz have willed it!"

"I have no time for these letters!" Germany yelled as he pounded his hammer, "Must pay back that ficken idiot France!"

"Guess things never really change over the years," Sweden thought, "and to think I was planning to make of a good speech for them…"

"Slovakia, will our union be broken too?" Czech asked.

"We'll just have to fight on against all threats," Slovakia replied.

"So they have broken up," England said unsympathetically, "Poland, you've done a splendid job for once."

"Amazing, and how did you accomplish such a feat like that?" France asked.

"I like applied Polish rule when I deal with him," Poland declared, "that's kinda like state secrets, so I won't be spilling the beans too much."

"I respect your state secrets," England said, "May you continue helping us in containing Germany and Russia on your end."

Eventually, Byelorussia (renamed as Belarus) would be incorporated with Russia, Ukraine and the Caucasus Trio into the Soviet Union. On the other hand, the Baltic States maintained their independence during the interwar years. However, they would be reconquered by Russia in World War II and reunited with the same lot they knew since the days of the Russian Empire.

Translations

Rusijos Imperija – Russian Empire

Baltarusija – Belarus

Heureux – happy

Mon ami – my friend

Jūs pabusti – you are awake

Ficken – fucking

Future Projects:

1. Falklands War

2. Poland during Napoleonic Wars

3. Colonisation of Tobago by Courland (in progress)

4. Singapore's birthday (reserved for 9 August/National Day)

5. Hong Kong Handover (reserved for 1 July, in progress)

6. Sino-American relations (Nixon goes to China, partly inspired by Karate Kid movie)