End of the Empire
Up till this day, no nation had united the world under one rule. The sole Nation closest to this goal would be the British Empire, formally called the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. Once, he had territories across the globe. There was even a saying that the Sun never sets on the British Empire, for he had lands in every continent.
Sadly, times changed and even the British Empire collapsed. Unlike Austria-Hungary or the Ottoman Turks, England's downfall was rather peaceful in most cases. His last major colony would be the Crown Colony of Hong Kong, which he would return to China by 1997.
Hello, my name is Hong Kong. My current full name is the Hong Kong Special Administrative Region of the People's Republic of China. I got two brotherly figures; China and the other one who used to call me the Crown Colony of Hong Kong. That guy… he's called England.
It was at the end of 1989. England called me here for a private discussion.
"Hello, Hong Kong," England greeted, "want some tea?"
"No thanks, you gweilo," Hong Kong calmly replied, "What did you call me here for?"
"Since the last World War, I had been letting go of my colonies," England said, drinking his tea, "now it will be your turn soon."
"99 years have passed very fast indeed…" Hong Kong remarked.
"And who could've guessed that international relations would change so drastically," England said, "Austria and Turkey had their empires collapse on them, France still kept deluding himself… and me, I had resigned myself to Fate. You're going back to China…"
Upon hearing that, Hong Kong immediately stood up and banged on the table.
"Back to China?" exclaimed Hong Kong, "please England, we had our differences. But why?"
"He is the legal successor of the Qing Dynasty and Republic of China in the mainland," England said, "I got no other alternative!"
"Grant me independence like Singapore!" Hong Kong exclaimed, "Malaysia may be mocked her on what she can do, but she's powerful in her region right now!"
"I apologise, but a British gentleman must keep his word…" England replied, apathetic to Hong Kong's pleas.
"But China is so different now… you saw that video of the Tiananmen thing," Hong Kong said, "Those tanks literally ran over those students… it may happen on my homeland."
"Reminds me of that petty Revolution France pulled off or the Bloody Sunday in Russia," England remarked, "however, the Parliament has decided."
"To hell with your Parliament!" yelled Hong Kong, "China will make me Communist like him! All my rights will vapourise. Please, don't let it be like this…"
"The date for the Handover is the first of July in 1997," England said, "Better be there, or China may start a war with me."
"You… 死鬼老…" Hong Kong cursed, "I'm leaving!"
It was frustrating; England just refused to think about me! It was always like that with the Brit, British interests this and British interests that! I saw that video, and I mustn't let my people of Hong Kong to suffer that. I needed a hiding place!
Hong Kong stomped out of England's house and marched off to the Americas. Soon, he had reached Canada's house and knocked on its door. Quickly, Canada's face popped out of the door. At the time, he was wearing a white hoodie with a red stripe in the middle.
"Hong Kong, what a surprise?" said Canada, "I was about to have dinner soon. But I didn't know what to cook tonight…"
"Canada, please… I need your help!" Hong Kong said, "It's a matter of life and death."
Canada quickly invited Hong Kong inside, and they sat down in the living room.
"… So England planned to give me back to China…" Hong Kong explained, "China has changed so much in these few years. I don't know if he would be the same again."
"I'm sure he misses you a lot, what brother won't?" Canada said.
"I heard from Taiwan on how different he's become," Hong Kong said, "he's willing to have missiles aimed at Taiwan's house, and even did horrible things to Tibet. If I return to him now…"
"Brothers may be a trouble sometimes, but we must know that we still love one another," Canada said, "even though America wants to be a hero, he still looks out for me."
"That's only because you were his neighbour and can't afford to be surrounded by Communist countries," Hong Kong remarked, "but Canada, do me a favour."
"Sure thing," Canada said, "but I hope you're not telling me to curse England. Scotland and Wales are way better at this."
"No, I got some old ladies in my place to do that for me," Hong Kong said, "but my point is that some of my people want to flee from the possible bloodbath, so… can they stay at your place? Better still, can I also stay here?"
"Fine," Canada said, "I guess I can relax on the immigration laws at my place for you, but this is no solution to your problem."
"Thanks, many thanks!" Hong Kong said, "I will work hard for your country to repay your kindness!"
I did not know that my attitude caused some distress to England, as he always hid his feelings. Maybe he loved his colonies a lot, no just America and the other Dominions. In another UN Meeting, England tried to amend things for me.
"Okay, that should settle the economy issue," America said, "and so, this UN Meeting is hereby dismissed. All of you can go now."
From the gates of the Meeting Hall, dozens of Nations dashed out and loitered around the hallways. Some of them even had their phones out to check out their country's status or other matters, while others were chatting away.
"Idiots… all of them… and still loitering around here…" England thought, "I can't find China at this rate…"
While brushing aside several countries, he bumped into another man. When he got up, he realised that he actually bumped into China.
"Excuse me; I didn't really see where I was going…" England apologised, "it's you, China… the man I was looking for!"
"None taken," China said, "and you were looking for me. Is there something you want to discuss with me?"
"Yes, but in a more private setting," England said, "how about I treat you to lunch in a café nearby."
Both Nations quickly got themselves out of the chaotic halls, and managed to go to the said café.
"So England, what is it that you want to talk to me about?" China asked, "it must be private if you never brought it up at the Meeting."
"Yes, it's about Hong Kong," England said, "our 99 year tease will be over in a matter of years."
"So you will give him back to me," China said.
"A British gentleman never backs down from his word," England insisted, "your PRC and my UK are partners in this world. We should set aside our past."
"Well… you still helped me stop Russia from becoming one with him," China said, "but what about Hong Kong?"
"I told him about the plans, and… he seemed unpleased," England said, "he was quite startled by your performance at Tiananmen and other occasions."
"That thing… I really got the world shocked, did I?" China admitted.
"Now he feels reluctant to return to you," England said, "so I am here to help him out."
"So that means you want me to grant Hong Kong his independence?" China wondered, "The answer to that will be a no."
"I had expected that from you, so I had another proposition ready," England said, "just promise me that Hong Kong will not be Communist."
England took out some papers from his briefcase and handed them to China. China quickly browsed through England's notes.
"Of course then," China said, "guess what France spoke of you is true. You do love all your colonies way too much."
"Don't listen to that bloody wanker!" England exclaimed, "I'm doing this not for him, but in the name of British interests."
"Now can we order something?" China said, "You said you will be treating me."
Suddenly, England's phone gave off the ringtone of the Beetles song (Back in the USSR) and he quickly received the call.
"Governor Patten, what is it?" England asked, "what? How can you lose him?"
"英格兰…" China spoke, while reading the menu.
"China, Hong Kong went missing…" England said, "Bloody hell, he took that one far worse than expected."
"What?" exclaimed China, "Forget about the lunch! Let's find Hong Kong!"
Thus, the two Nations went on a rampant search throughout the world to find Hong Kong. In meanwhile, they even prepared a list of possible kidnappers Hong Kong could be.
"Russia, I know you have Hong Kong with you!" England yelled, "Give him back!"
"But why would I?" Russia wondered.
"Because you've been begging for a southern port since the Crimean War," England cried.
"It was not me, da," Russia answered, "I still need to deal with the Chechen rebels back home."
"Vietnam, is Hong Kong at your place?" China asked, while banging on her front door.
Soon, the door slammed open and Vietnam appeared. She was carrying a rice paddle with her, and wacked China with it without warning.
"You bastard, you're trying to find another excuse to fight me, right?" Vietnam yelled, "Chinese scum, out of my property now! You're seconded only by that Frenchie on my hit list!"
"America, for a hero, it wasn't very heroic of you to be kidnapping my colony," England said, "I want him back now."
"Who?" America asked, while eating his lunch, "w'o…'re….u…ta'kin' abo'…"
"Hong Kong, you git!" snapped England, "You are mad that I am giving him back to a Communist country, right?"
"Huh… you are really going to do that," America said, "I thought you were kidding, but I would never mind you do that."
"Hungary, this may seem farfetched but…" China spoke to the Hungarian, "…did you kidnap my Hong Kong?"
"Your Hong Kong, eh…" Hungary wondered, smiling evilly, "are you two planning to do naughty things behind England's back? Maybe he got jealous and captured Hong Kong…"
"Hungary, this isn't one of your fantasies!" Austria snapped, "I doubt Hungary would be of help, China."
"Romano, by any chance did your mafia kidnap my colony?" England asked.
"No no, Signore England!" exclaimed Romano, "I will never dare to offend you almighty one!"
"Prussia, did you seize Hong Kong's vital regions?" China accused.
"The only vital region I have plans for is Austria's," the Prussian replied, "and that stuffed panda you gave me was a rip-off. I ain't feeling any happier than before!"
Hours later, both of them were in the Hong Kong International Airport.
"England, we've searching everywhere for him," China lamented, "And still can't find Hong Kong. Personally, I put the blame on you."
"Me?" England snapped, "You were the one who had to go ballistic and attack unarmed civilians!"
"You can at least sugar-coat what you want to tell Hong Kong," China said.
"And what, let him go ballistic during the ceremony!" England shouted, "My Crown Prince and your President will be attending that ceremony, and we don't want to trigger an international incident."
"So why are we here anyway?" China asked.
"Elementary, my dear Yao," England declared, "I have brilliantly deduced that Hong Kong had been in this Airport and clues reside here."
England quickly dragged China towards the main counter of the Airport. However, China was looking at the flight plans.
"England, look at this," China said, "more than half of these flights listed there are going to Canadian cities, like Vancouver, Ottawa, Toronto, Montreal, Quebec City."
"Fascinating discovery," England remarked, "we must talk to these people at once."
Therefore, they decided to locate one of the planes going to the Canadian city of Vancouver.
The aeroplane from Hong Kong to Vancouver was almost ready for take-off, with its passengers all onboard. Suddenly, two men had stomped their way into the economy class sector of the plane.
One of them had a black cultist cloak draped over him (England) and carried a pistol with him, while the other wore a Hello Kitty mask over his head (China) and had a submachine gun with him. England also had an air stewardess in his arms, and held as a hostage.
"Terrorists?" exclaimed one of the passengers.
"We are not terrorists," China protested, "we are here only to get answers!"
"Yes, and we will not be leaving until we get them!" England said, "Anyone calls the cops or security, and the toots here gets one shot in her vital regions."
"Stop using such perversive terms!" China exclaimed.
"The other ones in my vocab are even more perversive," England warned, "Now answer us! Why are you going to Canada?"
At that, a young child raised up his hand.
"Yes, you!" England said, "You can speak."
"Because the immigration laws to Canada were recently changed to allow us through," the child answered, "they say that a local official begged the Canadian official to let us go."
"A local official, you say?" England wondered.
"Hong Kong…" China thought.
"Arthur, that seems to be our guy," China spoke, "we best not interrupt this flight anymore."
"You have answered brilliantly kid," England said, "Now we will be out of your hair…"
As they turned back, the two Nations were confronted by several police officers.
"Hands in the air!" they shouted.
Later on, in Canada's house
The phone rang and Canada went to pick it up.
"Hello?" said Canada, "England, what is it?"
"Canada right?" called England, "it was frustrating to get your number. Had to get China to call France for it first; we each only get one phone call sadly."
"Maple?" responded Canada, sensing something weird.
"I will make clear," England said, "we are currently in jail in Hong Kong right now."
"Maple…" replied Canada.
"We were trying to figure out where Hong Kong is, and we… kinda interrogated people on the plane," England explained, "now we are in jail and arrested by those bloody police."
"Okay… and now what…" Canada said.
"We bloody know that Hong Kong is in Canada now!" England exclaimed, "Get him back to Hong Kong, or two UN Security Council members will be convicted criminals!"
"Okay okay," Canada answered and he put down the phone.
Hong Kong was just beside the Canadian, and donned an apron over his red changshan. In his hands, Hong Kong was carrying a tray of dim sums.
"Hong Kong, that was England… and he's with China…" Canada said, "And they are now in a jailhouse in Hong Kong."
"What did they do?" asked the Hongkonger.
"They… I don't really know…" Canada said, "But they seemed urgent. Let's take the Air Force jet."
Both Canada and Hong Kong took one of the Canadian Air Force's jets to return to Hong Kong lands.
The two Nations were sitting inside the relatively emptied jet to Hong Kong. They were accompanied by a resident pilot and a private was overseeing their landing.
"Mr… uh…" the private said, "…Sir, we have reached the destination we have tapped the call to."
"Good, we will jump down on the spot," Canada replied, "let's go, Hong Kong."
"Wait, Mr… uh… Sir!" the private yelled, "we are… you shouldn't be parachuting here!"
"Don't worry," Canada said, "this is urgent business with international stakes."
As such, both Nations immediately jumped off the jet and crashed straight into the roof of the police station itself. Upon landing, they were surrounded by police officers. From a nearby jail cell, China and England were sitting in the cell.
"你们在这里做什么?" asked the chief officer.
Hong Kong remained perfect calm and just showed a badge to the police officers.
"对不起," that same officer said, "我不知道你是政府的人."
"里面的那两个犯人，让他们在走吧," Hong Kong said, "我们已经做过了调查。他们两人没恶意."
Immediately, the officers opened the cell door and let England and China go. The four Nations ten left the station.
"Thanks a lot, America," China said.
"I am Canada!" Canada exclaimed, "Can-a-da!"
"My bad, you really look like him though," China remarked.
"But his hair is not rough like America's; it's wavy actually," Hong Kong put in, "but why did you two hold hostage a plane full of innocent passengers?"
"Because you firecracker-lighting bullocks got lost and we had to bloody find you!" England yelled.
"And where were you all this time?" China asked.
"At Canada's," Hong Kong admitted, "he was friendly enough to allow my people into his cities."
"Why?" asked China.
"I don't want my people to die," Hong Kong said, "maybe it's your age. 5000 years, and people die all the time. Maybe you grew used to your own people dying for you…"
"I'm not like Russia," China said, "I still know the value of life."
"The top five wars with the highest human causalities all involve you," Hong Kong said, "and look at the Great Leap Forward… Cultural Revolution… Tiananmen… you are becoming more like him… I am scared…"
"Hong Kong…" China said, "I'm sorry that you feel so mad at me!"
"Hong Kong…" England muttered.
"England… I think I will follow with your idea," China said, "we will be talking more often in the coming years."
"What idea?" Hong Kong asked.
"If it works out, you may not be Communist and still be together with China," England explained, "we still need to think off a name for it."
The year moved on to 1997, where Hong Kong would return to China. England and China would meet at the Victoria Harbour for the occasion.
"England, I never thought this day would come," China stated, looking at the nightly skyline of Hong Kong.
"Too happy to have Hong Kong back, or driving the last nail onto the coffin for the British Empire," England cynically remarked, "from now on, guess I'll just be the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland."
"Many more empires had sunk themselves into destruction and wrought more damage," China said, "you, however, were willing to end it on your own terms and in peace."
"Unlike some others, I know where my limits stand and I let go of my colonies only for the sake of…" England replied.
"We know, British interests," Hong Kong butted in.
"Glad you do," England said, "…but… if you want, we can… have lunch… together… someday…"
"Then I will have to cook for you to actually have an edible lunch," Hong Kong joked.
"I will be embarrassing for the guest to cook for the host," England said.
"Then you can be the guest instead," China added, "I don't mind opening up another pair of chopsticks."
"England, thanks for everything you've done," Hong Kong said, "at least now I have a reputation on international standing, as one of the Four Asian Tigers."
"Watch out now, because the Great Chinese Dragon has awakened," China added.
"Ha, as long as I am here, you two won't be dominating world economy for the next century," England boasted.
"But you gave the idea of my new government," Hong Kong said, "one country, two systems. The Hong Kong Special Admin Region of China does sound long, but it will keep my national rights."
"Maybe when Macau returns, he can be a SAR too," China added, "可惜老江不让台湾作为SAR."
"Nice to talk to you two, but I have to go now," England said, "my Crown Prince is waiting for me."
"Actually, I just saw the HMS Britannia zooming past here while we were chatting," China claimed.
"This is a mutiny!" exclaimed England, "they are abandoning the personification of their nation! Fuck that imbecile who's operating that vessel!"
"Relax now, England," China said, "at least now you can enjoy some fireworks in Victoria Harbour."
"Victoria Harbour?" inquired England, "I thought you would rename it… I dunno…Mao Tse-tung Harbour or something after one of your Chinese statesmen."
"You are funny, England!" China laughed, "Chairman Mao needs not to have any landmark named after him, unlike Ho Chi Minh, Lenin or Stalin."
"I sense good vibes for future Anglo-Chinese relations," England said, "but for my sake only, mark those words."
"Both of you are like brothers to me," Hong Kong spoke, "And England, I will see if I can arrange a flight to London for you tomorrow."
Then, the three Nations sat by the Harbour and observed the fireworks light up in the night sky. With no one looking, England took out a potion bottle from his pockets. He then gently sprinkled it onto the Hongkonger's back.
"Here's to remember me by…" England thought.
The next day, both China and Hong Kong were sleeping by the steps of the Harbour. As China woke up, his jaws dropped at Hong Kong's new appearance.
"China, what is the matter?" asked Hong Kong.
"Your… your… eyebrows…" China stuttered.
Hong Kong turned to find a puddle to see his reflection. His features were mostly same as before, but his eyebrows suddenly became similar to that of England's. He felt his back even more, and found a small note.
Dear Hong Kong
This is to mark you forever as land trekked by the British Empire. Don't you ever forget that!
Yours faithfully
Arthur Kirkland
The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland
P.S. Don't think you can shave it off that easily. It's enchanted to grow back.
P.P.S. Speak good English too and don't wind up like America or Singapore.
"死鬼老…" Hong Kong murmured.
Hong Kong thus became a SAR territory, keeping its independence while deferring to Beijing for military and foreign affairs. This would maintain for 50 years, but Hong Kong is willing to keep their uniqueness while integrating with the Motherland.
Translations
Gweilo – Hong Kong term for White Westerners. Literally means "ghost fella". Hongkongers find the term to be endearing and normal, where as others treat it as a racist term.
死鬼老 – damned gweilo. That is the offensive version for gweilo. The first character literally means "death" BTW.
"你们在这里做什么?" asked the chief officer.
"对不起, 我不知道你是政府的人." – I apologise, I don't know you work for the government.
"里面的那两个犯人，让他们在走吧," – Those two prisoners inside there, release them.
"我们已经做过了调查。他们两人没恶意." – We had already done an investigation. They mean no harm.
"可惜老江不让台湾作为SAR." – A pity Old Jiang (Chinese President Jiang Zemin) does not allow Taiwan to become a SAR.
My Notes
It would strike me that China was almost insane by the time of early Cold War, with those who formerly cared for siding against him (Japan, Taiwan, and Korea). Even Vietnam had fought wars against China. Only by the late 1990s did China calm down, when Hong Kong and Macau return to him.
In modern times, China is at least talking to Taiwan, Japan, Vietnam and the Koreas on not-so-tense terms.
In my head-canon, it does justice that China is more of 5000 years-old.
Top five wars with highest human deaths are: World War II, Anshi Rebellion, Taiping Rebellion, Mongol invasions, Manchu conquest of China
You can wiki, yahoo, or google those if you want to.
Future Projects:
1. Falklands War
2. Poland during Napoleonic Wars (completed)
3. Singapore's birthday (reserved for 9 August/National Day, in progress)
4. Sino-American relations (Nixon goes to China, completely)
5. Ypres and Hiroshima/Nagasaki