Sahira felt the kiss on her head. This was different; her heart instead of breaking was melting. His arms around her felt so strong even though on the inside she knew with Henrik that wasn't necessarily the case. Their bodies fitted together like the lost piece in the jigsaw. At that moment in time everything was perfect. She never wanted to let go of him, she wanted to just stop time and let the moment carry on forever. Unfortunately both knew that couldn't happen and Henrik slowly released her from his arms. He was smiling at her softly; he only wished he could tell her, let her know in some way how much that had meant, how much she meant to him.
Outside Jac had seen it all. Her eyes had shot wide, what the hell was going on with those two? Still slightly shocked she entered the scrub room and inwardly smirked at the little jump Sahira gave. Obviously she wasn't expecting her to come in and didn't look too pleased to see her either. "Not interrupting anything am I?"
Sahira wanted so much to say yes; Jac looked so smug and in that moment she would have taken great pleasure in wiping that smirk of the consultant's face. "No, Ms Naylor. We're just waiting for a GS registrar to appear and then we shall go into theatre." Henrik calmly and coolly replied, ever the diplomat. But Jac knew something was up, the way Sahira was looking at Hanssen gave it away.
"Right, when will the registrar get his lazy backside up here?" Jac asked, putting her hands on her slender hips, her ice cold tone making Sahira feel ever so slightly nervous.
"About now," Malick said in his usual cocky manor but slightly affronted as he came through the doors. "Sorry I had an emergency appendectomy." He explained, washing his hands. After everyone had scrubbed in they made their way over to the table were Kristian lay there under anaesthetic. Henrik may have been able to hide his connection with him is most ways though by now most people had worked out something was going on between Kristian and Henrik on account of their last names alone.
"Scalpel."Henrik said, trying to not look at his patients face. This was a difficult operation normally and he certainly didn't need the added distraction of being reminded that this was his half brother. The first incision was made as both teams set to work. It was unusually quiet in theatre. Sahira tried to keep her mind on the task in hand but couldn't stop herself looking at Henrik's face. The concentration on his features was tangible and now Jac and Malick had noticed too and were exchanging rather worried glances. Not all was right.
Suddenly the bleed alert sounded. "Shit!" Henrik swore under his breath. He caught sight of the surprised look on Malick's face from his use of an explicit. "Suction Mr Malick. We need to get on top of this." At the current moment in time neither Sahira nor Jac could concentrate, did Hanssen seriously just swear?
"Diathermy please." He asked the scrub nurse. A visible scowl fell over his face as she passed over the wrong equipment. "When in theatre it is usually good practise to actually listen to what the surgeon says so pay attention please." He snapped. The tension in the theatre rose as Henrik frantically tried to repair the artery. "There we go, clip and tie that Mr Malick."
"Well done." Malick meant it sincerely, Henrik looked genuinely rattled and sweat had beaded on his forehead. As Malick set about finishing off, Henrik removed his hands from the abdomen and looked down at them. For the first time in his medical career he had the shakes. He gulped and went a shade paler. This happened to other surgeons, this didn't happen to him. But there was no denying it, his hands were shaking like a leaf and he had to accept when he had been defeated by himself.
"Are you ok to close up here?" He asked, knowing as soon as the words had escaped his lips that Malick, Jac and Sahira would know something was wrong. Then the whole hospital would hear of it. All the whispering, all the rumours he hated it, he hated it all. Malick just nodded and Henrik immediately left the table. He quickly tore off the gloves and the gown and made a B-line towards the door. Once outside he slumped against a wall, his legs slowly turning to jelly and put his head in his hands.
Back in the theatre, Sahira had watched with horrified eyes as Henrik had dashed out of the room. She turned back to the table, her mind stuck on the man who had just left. That had never happened before; he'd never had to leave a patient because he physically couldn't carry on. She had seen his trembling hands and she'd seen him turn a shade so pale it was closer to white than anything else. Jac had noticed Sahira's drifting mind and she knew where her concentration now was. Sahira could try and pretend nothing was going on, but Jac was no idiot. She knew that something was up with Hanssen and the person he needed the most at this moment was Sahira and she was no use to Jac if she couldn't even concentrate on the task in hand. "Go on." When all she got back was a blank look from Sahira she rolled her eyes, sometime people could be so dense. "Go after him, I can finish here."
Sahira was slightly shocked, was Jac giving her a break? "Are you sure?"
"We've just got FT status, I don't want it jeopardised by our Director of Surgery losing his nerve." She didn't add that actually she was concerned for him, beneath that cold exterior something had happened to warrant that hard layer. She knew that better than most. "Now go, before I change mind!"
Turning and hurrying to leave, Sahira was secretly very thankful to Jac. Maybe she had got Ms Naylor wrong. Bursting out of the theatre doors she looked her left and then to her right. Henrik was still resting against the wall. One hand covered his mouth in shock, the other one was by his side holding his glasses, still trembling. He looked scared and it broke her heart. She walked up to him and stood right in front of him. Softly she took his hands off his mouth and stroked his cheek. Again a familiar confusion shot through his eyes. It made her want to chuckle, did he still not get it? All those years with her husband had been spent trying to deceive herself that this, this intimacy, this compassion, this unconditional love with Henrik wasn't what she wanted. "Oh who was I trying to kid?" She thought out loud. Henrik just looked confused as ever, he just needed to know that this wasn't just him reading things into her actions, he needed to be sure. The confirmation came as Sahira used her hand on his cheek to bring his face to her level and pressed her lips to his.