A big HI! to people reading my fanfic... please review because I need some comments to improve on my writing 8) Thanks!
Finally, those words ran out.
"Mom, am I your real son?"
His spine stiffened and his palms habitually started rubbing on the edge of his pants as they started to sweat profusely. A part of him inside laughed as he watched his mother's bewildered eyes staring right at him. Haha, how is that even possible, don't be stupid. Both mother and son stared awkwardly at each other as the quietness rang in their ears. Letting out a laugh Jake thought he sensed nervousness in, Orihime asked, "Why do you ask?"
That smile was not like the usual one, bright like orange sunlight and tasty like candy. There was something wrong about it. That made Jake felt uneasy and unsure. Those brows seemed to crease and quiver a little as those lips pulled into a smile they were forced into. Jake feared. His mother's expression seemed to have already told him the truth. But a part of him was battling with his analytical side, it was saying "No! That's not true! Don't be silly! Why don't you just ask her? She'll tell you the truth, dummie!" That part of him was holding onto the last bit of hope he sees in his eyes. "Mom, am I your real son?" he repeated the question, pretending that it was casual.
"Haha, why of course, Jakey! What made you ask that silly question?" There was one part of him that said, "Oh, that's true! Look at how silly I am!" But there was another part of him that thought the laugh his mother let out was not very convincing. And that part of him was dominant.
He did not say anything else more or hesitate any longer. Swiftly and as steadily as he could manage, he kneeled next to the dressing table and reached underneath. Feeling around for the very much hidden object, he touched a familiar roughness of old wood. The dusty box held in his hand, he asked again, this time loud and clear. "Then, what is this?" Brown orbs widened into what appeared to be shock and fright as Jake lifted the box he fished out from underneath the dressing table to her eye level. Jake went on to opening the box as his mother remained silent. "Where is this from?" He pulled out the silver necklace and showed his mother. "And who is Jake Kyles?" He opened the slip of paper and tried to give it to his mother who moved not even a finger. "This Jake Kyles has the same birthday as me."
She could not speak a word. Those lies she ran out of, she could not find another one. Instead, what flowed out were salty tears she tasted in between her lips. "What is this?" Orhime smiled in between lines of tears as she asked in faked confusion. "I've never seen it before!" She exclaimed but the broken voice soaked in misery betrayed her. Everything was blurry and messy, and the bottom of her throat felt strangled and tortured as they tried to withstand the outburst of tears.
She understood. He already knew and he already discovered but all he was doing, showing her the evidence, was to make sure. His pale blue eyes begged her to reassure him of what he was hoping for. But sorry, she could not. She could no longer tell another lie at this state when the truth was spread out on the table, clear and obvious. "I'm sorry…" Those innocent blue eyes before her were beautiful like crystals in the deepest sea where mankind had never stained. But now she was going to make them shatter.
"Jake, you are not my real child."
Time stopped for a while and everything turned into black and white. Jake could hear the sound of rolling film behind his head. Kachak… kachak….Dark colours eroded into black and light ones faded into white made his world look like a plain of nothingness. Was he living in a colourless movie? All the colours seeped away and everything looked unreal. Truth hurts and it probably tastes salty and smells of nothing.
Jake croaked out a hoarse "Ok." It was broken and pitiful, it shattered Orihime's heart into smithereens. Those crystal blue eyes she broke made her heart fill with regret. She had to explain, she had to tell him no matter what, he was still a precious to her. "Jake, listen to me." She knelt down beside the boy with eyes so blank the blue in them seemed to have paled. With her hands on his, she pulled him into her embrace, hugging tightly as she was afraid he would push her away and run away at any moment. Using all her love she had, she passed all her warmth to her little boy. In her eyes, Jake would never grow up, he would always be the same little baby she had on that fateful day. Her sleeves felt wet and warm. Those tears she made her loved one flowed stung her hard and deep in the chest. So painful, she hoped she could bear the pain herself.
"Don't cry, mommy loves you…" Speaking words of those to a little baby, she cooed them out in between sobs while holding onto the trembling child in her arms deeply. Kissing his soft brown hair, smelling his scent that was different yet familiar like that scent she smelled while she held him when he was still a baby. At that time, he had been so small and soft and fragile but the Jake she held in her arms right then was still the same, he felt small as he curled himself into a ball, he felt soft and fragile as he gripped onto her arms, defenceless after a huge blow she inflicted onto him.
After a long while, Orihime gathered her emotions as she cupped Jake's cheeks, looking straight and stern into his watery eyes. "Listen to me, my dear. Don't look away. I have to tell you, no matter what you are thinking right now or what you want to do, I will always love you. You are my son. Daddy loves you too. Klaine and Tovvie will always be your brothers. Even if," The tears blurred her vision again. "Even if you want to find your real mother…" Real mother, those two words were hard to say out loud. It ached. "I will support you. I'm sure Daddy will support you too. But, please, please don't leave mommy. Mommy loves you…"
Breaking into tears again, Orihime held onto Jake like a lifeline and cried out, heartbroken. No one else could understand the guilt and pain of a mother, having to tell her child, the one she raised with all her efforts and the one she gave all her love to, that he did not belong to her. It felt like a little demon devouring you from inside, eating your guilt-filled soul as you spilled out the truth and let it free to manifest you. She felt that she betrayed her little precious. It was immoral. As much as she gave her love, he must have given the same amount too. And then she breaks his heart by telling him he had been loving the wrong person all this time.
Pain was not enough to describe the throb which was probably the bleeding of her heart, leaking out all the feelings she had inside as Jake tore himself from her own arms and muttered, "Mom, I'd like to have some time alone." The door closed and pieces of her heart died on the floor, scattered all around in a mess she would probably need some time to gather. But all she was concerned of was how badly his heart broke.