The Hazy

In modern times, new ways are discovered for the purpose of agriculture. Despite the modernity, many still prefer the older methods of agriculture. One of those traditional methods is the slash-and-burn, where in trees are burnt down to fertilise the soil for new crops. None the less, it is still a destructive way of agriculture.

As an island Nation, Singapore enjoyed to be surrounded by water. It was a rare day off by her boss, and she chose to lounge in the community swimming pool. With her petite body dressed in a modest white swimsuit lying over a deckchair, Singapore turned to the male reclining next to her.

"Ah, this is the life~" Singapore remarked, "Great to be free from government things. Right, Brunei?"

The Bruneian was dressed in a pair of yellow and black swimming shorts and donned sunglasses too, and drinking from a glass of ice lemon tea.

"Yes, but we can always go to the private indoor swimming pool at my place," Brunei added on, "had you even consider about weather conditions?"

"No way will the weather go…" Singapore calmly claimed, "… oi, what's that smell?"

Both Nations quickly took off their sunglasses, and Singapore put on her own half moon-shaped glasses. They suddenly found themselves surrounded by a grey gas occupying their area.

"Is my country invaded *cough cough* by smoke?" Singapore exclaimed.

"Looks like haz…*cough*…" Brunei tried to speak.

"Haze lor…" Singapore coughed out, "…and I *cough cough* know… which basket is f- *cough cough*…-king responsible…"

Meanwhile, in Johor Bahru, Malaysia…

Malaysia was in his private office in the provincial government building, signing a large pile of forms and documents. Suddenly, the telephone beside rang.

"Yes, I'm Malaysia. This better be…" Malaysia said impatiently, "Oh, it's you again."

"You *cough cough* expected me *cough* calling you…" Singapore hollered, "you bask…, *cough cough* so much… *cough*"

"Haze right?" Malaysia stated calmly.

"So yeah, *cough* you did *cough* did it hor?" Singapore exclaimed.

"You bodoh or what?" exclaimed the Malaysian, "I got haze right in Johor and now signing papers to close down several schools here!"

"And it's *cough cough* your *cough* fault sia *cough*…" Singapore cried.

"Dun anyhow accuse people, girl," Malaysia said, "I did research. Haze not from Malaysia."

"Then *cough* what about *cough* Sabah and *cough cough* Sara… *cough*…" Singapore continued to cry out.

"Can you learn to pipe down for a moment before you lose your voice?" Malaysia said, "I knew you would call me about this, so I double-checked five times. Haze not from any of my sultanates, or East Malaysia."

"Then *cough cough* who hor, genius?" Singapore barked.

"Our so-called dear onee-san, of course," Malaysia spoke.

"She my *cough* next *cough cough* guess *cough*…" Singapore claimed.

Within the same day, in Sumatra, Indonesia…

A lone female was working the fields near a forested area. She lit up a match and threw it into the forests. In no time, some of the trees bursted into flames. She was the Nation of Indonesia, and she saw it her duty to improve her Nation's production rate.

"Ah, now we increase our production rate and benefit my people," Indonesia declared.

"Ah ha, so it was you!" yelled a voice.

"I *cough cough* expect *cough*…" another voice accused.

"Relax Singapore, you will *cough* lose your voice at this rate," a third voice warned.

Before Indonesia's eyes, Malaysia, Singapore and Brunei walked up to the Indonesian woman.

"So, what can this onee-san do for the three of you?" Indonesia asked.

"Do for us… yah… *cough cough*…" Singapore said in an eerily calm tone, "If you would… *cough cough* be so kind… as to…"

"Quit burning your forests!" Malaysia yelled, "You disturbing everyone's lives!"

"I am only working hard to improve the lives of my countrymen," Indonesia said, "you also use this way of cultivation too. You understand, right?"

"Dun change *cough cough* topic!" Malaysia yelled, "you *cough* better fix *cough cough*"

"… *cough cough* Just stop *cough* burning *cough cough*…" Singapore shouted, "you really *cough* siao lah, burn down your *cough cough* own land."

"She always like *cough cough* that one!" Malaysia exclaimed, "helping self and *cough* not us. You still say *cough cough* you help all of… *cough*… You only get in way!"

"What! You talk about past again?" Indonesia yelled, "That was long ago!"

"You always *cough cough* against my *cough* federation!" Malaysia exclaimed, "making trouble for *cough*"

"Don't lose your voice yet, I am not finished," Indonesia said, "You are a bad big brother, letting Singapore out on her own!"

"Oi *cough cough* I can handle myself *cough*…" Singapore protested, "dun *cough* drag me *cough cough* in this!"

"At least I didn't *cough cough* start some *cough* rebellion on Brunei!" Malaysia yelled back.

"Please *cough* not talk about that time…" Brunei stated, "my mind was torn into *cough* two that time."

"You were working with that imperialist Brit back then!" Indonesia cried, "I was only helping the others, a duty of an onee-san."

"You wanna blame *cough cough* someone for Konfrontasi, blame Singapore!" Malaysia hollered, "she's the *cough* whore who wanted it!"

"Dun you *cough cough* call me whore *cough*" Singapore yelled.

"You see, you made Singapore sad!" Indonesia remarked, "You're the worst brother ever. I should bring you in and be one with me."

"Be one with you?" Malaysia exclaimed, "Joke lah! I here am *cough cough* Malaysia, the homeland of *cough cough* Malays! You *cough* you only India Archipelago sia!"

"That name was only because the Westerners thought I was related to India," Indonesia shouted madly, "besides, our language, Bahasa Melayu, originated from me! It was I who wrought one of the greatest Malay empires in these parts! Show your onee-san some respect!"

"Respect!" hollered the Malaysian, "why give *cough cough* respect to a pig like you!"

"Take that back, filthy dog!" Indonesia yelled, pulling onto Malaysia's collar.

"Dun link me to that filthy animal!" Malaysia cried, pushing the Indonesian woman down.

"You no better, calling people the most untouchable creature!" Indonesia cried.

Malaysia put up a wicked grin and drew out two wavy daggers known as the keris. He crossed his two bladed weapons and posed a combative stance. In response, Indonesia picked up a farming rake and spun it around as a makeshift weapon.

"You wanna fight, eh?" Indonesia wondered, "Ok, this onee-san will teach you a lesson and make you beg on your knees. And this time, no Brit helping you."

"Bring it on," Malaysia announced, "I can *cough*…"

Suddenly, Indonesia charged in with her rake. Malaysia only narrowly dodged the sudden attack. In return, Malaysia moved in to attack with the keris…

"They're fighting again…" Brunei remarked.

"I expect *cough cough* it already," Singapore said, "since they got *cough cough* independent, they always *cough* so noisy one lah…"

"Thousand Keris!"

"Wrath of Majapahit!"

"Let's leave now *cough cough* before they get rough…" Brunei remarked.

"Seriously lah, I can't believe *cough cough* I between those two on the map…" Singapore spoke, "we never *cough* get *cough cough* peace lor."

Omake – Peace in Southeast Asia

Leaving the two older siblings to settle their timeless score, Singapore and Brunei continued to relax elsewhere. This time, they made do with the private swimming pool in Brunei's house.

"Ah, peace at last," Brunei remarked, "right, Singapore?"

"*cough cough* I… *cough* those *cough cough*…" Singapore tried to speak up, but only hoarsely.

"Marina, don't strain yourself," a Chinese man lounging next to the Singaporean remarked, "serves you right for talking too much."

"Chao *cough cough* chee *cough* bye…" Singapore cursed, "*cough cough* damn you *cough* Hong *cough* Kon…*cough*"

"Try not to speak now," Hong Kong added, "you are disturbing the peace."

Translations

Bodoh – stupid

Basket – refers to bastard (spoken in Malaysia and Singapore)

Chao chee bye – a Singlish insult (please search yourself for literal meaning)

Original Character Profile

Name: Vivien Budiwati Jayakartaputri "Indonesia"

Represents: Republic of Indonesia (formerly the Dutch East Indies)

Age: 23

Gender: Female

Birthday: 17 August 1945 (Declaration of Independence)

Appearance: Somewhat tall woman with long black hair and a flower attached to it. She wears a plain white blouse with a long red shirt. Her military uniform is white with red accents.

A nation of many cultures, it was united by the Netherlands as the Dutch East Indies. Indonesia was wooed by Japan during the Second World War to fight her colonial master more aggressively. After the war, she became independent and before her siblings.

Thus, she sees herself as an onee-san (older sister) among the Malay Nations and Singapore. Despite that, she is largely ignored by the other Malay Nations. In the case of Malaysia, they grew to have an intense rivalry a la England and France.

Netherlands: Damn that paedophile…

Malaysia: He's an absolute ingrate!

Singapore: She's so cute, but would the little city be okay on her own?

Name: Awang Iskandar Abdul Salam

Represents: State of Brunei Darussalam

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Birthday: somewhere in 14th century (as a Sultanate)

Appearance: Wears a black suit with tie and songkok (a form of hat) mostly. Sometimes may wear a Baju Melayu (Malay shirt) casually.

A tiny Nation in the island of Borneo, he claimed to have once forged a powerful "Bruneian Empire" that ruled over Sabah and Sarawak. However, England broke off his empire and forced the sultanate to become a protectorate.

During the 1960s, Indonesia forced a rebellion in Brunei against England and the newborn Malaysia. Eventually, the rebellion was put down and ended up in martial law. Due to oil found on Brunei, he opted not to be one with Malaysia. Brunei is known to do things for the sake of Malay, Islam and his boss. He's working on enforcing a global halal system via his Brunei Halal brand.

Singapore: Best friends, we even pegged our currencies.

Malaysia: All I want from you is Limbang, my lands are disconnected by Limbang!

England: That pirate ended my empire days… but at least he looks out for me.

Author's Notes

This was requested by Monochrome Cloud, but I also wanted to do a chapter on the Malay Nations. I was torn between doing the Konfrontasi (Confrontation) and the haze problem in 2010, so I ended up combining the two somehow. The main story is the haze, but they ended up fighting and talking about the past.

The Brunei Revolt was against the Sultan of Brunei, masterminded by Indonesia as part of Konfrontasi.

As to why Singapore was blamed for starting Konfrontasi, it was Singapore who wanted a federation with Malaysia. However, Malaysia wanted more Malays to balance out the majority. Hence, Sabah, Sarawak and Brunei were invited to the federation. However, Indonesia laid claims to Sabah and Sarawak and so the Konfrontasi began (but that's another story).