South Park

Dip

Ungodly Addiction

Characters: Phillip 'Pip' Pirrup, Damien the Antichrist.

Rating: M for strong language, adult themes, nudity, violence, sexual… stuff… and a really crappy storyline.

I have a universal Disclaimer in my Profile, so all angry mobs bearing pitchforks and torches are unnecessary.

**DIP**

Darkness becomes blurred light. I blink my eyes rapidly, trying to focus the foggy colours into shapes, people, objects, anything. Slowly – oh so slowly – the dull splashes of grey, white, green and brown sharpen and become recognisable.

I'm in a room. A near empty, cold room filled with nothing but brown, wooden pillars, white laundry machines and some green sheets. Obviously it's a basement of some kind. The grey walls seem to drip with moisture – unidentifiable liquids that I'd rather not know up-close. I realise the I'm sitting propped up against the far wall, next to a set of cold, ugly stairs.

Oh, isn't this fantastic.

I frown slightly, trying to remember just who landed me in this ugly little basement. All I can seem to remember is an ugly, leering smile and a cold, hateful voice that I can't quite place. All other distinguishable features have somehow escaped my still slightly dazed mind.

Before I can beat myself up too much about somehow falling into the role of damsel-in-distress, there is a loud, ominous creaking sound. I snap my head up to see a door at the top of the stairs. It's opening slowly.

I quickly let my head drop, appearing unconscious until I know just who it is. An advantage to living in South Park – you kinda know everyone. I hear heavy footfalls approaching; becoming louder the closer the stranger comes.

"Oh my…" I hear a strangely feminine voice utter softly. I frown; this voice is not the one I remember from the horrible attack near Stark's Pond. This voice sounds… well, much older.

And female.

"Young man, are you ok?"

Confused, I open my eyes and look up. Right into the concerned eyes of one person I never in a million years expected to find me trapped in a basement. Stunned into silence, I merely eye the well-known mother with frightened confusion.

The woman merely looks at me, appearing rather concerned, before shrugging and smiling in what can only be outright denial.

"You must be playing a game with Eric. Don't worry, I won't tell him you're hiding here!" She smiles and gives a wink in a way that she must think is conspirational, before standing and collecting the laundry. As Eric Cartman's mom walks up the stairs and out of the room again, I assume the worst.

Oh shit.

AN ~

Sorry guys, but I just had to.

Someone earlier – like, months ago – suggested Cartman kidnap him, and… yeah…

I know it's completely cliché and happens all the time, but I honestly can't think of anyone else who'd be weird enough to stalk and kidnap Pip without a good reason.

And I can't be bothered thinking up a reason…

At least, not one that isn't stupid and annoying and completely Cartman-esque.

So yeah, hooray for stereotypical plotlines!

Until next time

Zanchev :D